Bionicle: Retold

Let's see how professional I can make this.

Hello fellow Board members. I and several others got together on a project to retell G1's story. Our goal was/is to flesh out G1's story and characters and expand on many aspects that didn't get as much attention as they could have from G1's writers (And fix some plotholes along the way).

We have two serials that we're currently working on.

  • The Mindless
    This serial will follow the Toa Mata's arival to Mata-Nui and their adventures defending it from Teridax (G1's 01-3).
    [New chapter every Monday]

  • A Traveler's Tale
    This serial follows the same time frame as The Mindless, but from the perspective of the matoran living on Mata-Nui.
    [New chapter every Wednesday]

These serials will be posted on this site:

http://tawaoffire23.wix.com/bionicle-retold

The first chapters for each serial have already been posted.
Hope you enjoy!

[Story Team]
@TawaOfFire
@Scorpion_Strike
@OraNui
@Brunamal
@Solaris
@Matanui606
@Bootleg_Team_Kahi
@Hutere_the_Toa_of_Air
@ToaSonus
@RedCel
@TR-8R
@LurkingEhlek

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@Chronicler could you guys mention this on the modcast this Sunday? If so, that'd be great!

Let's wait and see if they even care for it before asking them for free plug in time :laughing:.

That would be pretty cool though.

This is gonna be good :smile:

You can start by spelling "professional" correctly :stuck_out_tongue:

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How. Just how. I have no excuse. Burn me at the stake already.

I am curious as to how this will turn out

I'll keep my eye on this :wink:

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This is awesome. I really like what you are doing. Btw are there only on chapter per serial so far?

For the moment yes. We have the first chapters ready for consumption on the site. The new chapters will be posted on a weekly basis.

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ok thanks

Bookmarking as I speak.

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The site looks groovy guys. I will read the serials when I have the free time.

New chapter of A Traveler's Tale is out. New chapter of The Mindless comes out tomorrow.

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New chapter of The Mindless is out.

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Hooray.

The concept sounds pretty bold, which I support wholeheartedly. Reminds me of SolisMagna.com.

If I remember correctly, I don't think Solis managed to actually get any of their projects up and running. Which was sad, but I hope we last at least a little while.

Edit: I just remembered that they did post one serial continuing G1.

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They posted two or three. Xonar and the other guys running the site (including myself) made some mistakes early on that didn't help our reputation in the community. That, and G2 took off as we were getting started, and that killed a lot of our momentum.

Ah ok. I remembered one or two coming out, but there seemed to be nothing going on for a long time so I stopped checking. I didn't know you were involved with the project. Interesting.

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Alright; I was able to cull together enough time to read the opening chapters of both serials. My first impression is that each is pretty great, especially for a very saturated brainstorming environment that likely arises when a story team is really big. And believe me, I know the trials of working with a large group of fans on story serials. My initial thought is this; a little more scrutiny with spelling and grammar will go a long way toward crafting a more professional appearance. Overall, the mechanics of the writing are great; you guys did misspell a couple of minor words, such as “canons” for “cannons” late in the eighth paragraph of A Traveler’s Tale, and “loose” for “lose” early in the tenth. None of this is a really big deal; however, I would suggest that you guys manually look over each serial before publishing it, if you aren’t already.

Each tale could benefit greatly from a larger amount of dialogue, especially of the harshly realistic variety. If I were writing these, I would really bring out the feelings of a desperate time of war. Casual, not dramatic dialogue in The Mindless is something that will supplement the inner thoughts of the characters very appropriately, though a balance between the two is very important.

So far the characters are quite relatable, which is pretty important. One thing that is tough in writing stories set in G1 and G2 is crafting vulnerable, flesh-and blood characters; so far, I love Macku and Gali. I hope that you guys are able to keep this project going for a long time.

-Azani

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