Bionicle: The Return S2 E2: A new partner

Htes was checking for the last time his things. He got his Shot Gun. He got his mask. He has everything. He was in Ekimu’s forge when he was ready to go and find Tahu. In the last moment, Ekimu came there. Next to him there was a figure, but Htes didn’t look at it.

  • Where are you going? Ekimu asked.
  • Well… Now Tahu is in Iron Hakw’s ship, captured and… it is only my fault. I should protect him.
  • Htes, I need to tell you something.
  • What?
  • You and Tahu are one of the best Toa Team ever walked on Okoto!
  • Thanks!
  • Tahu is a great Toa!
  • I know!
  • And you are too when you work with him!
  • Thank you very much!
  • But you are the worst Toa ever when you work alone!
  • What!?!?
  • Yes, this is why I think you need a brand new Partner. I present you, Tavryn, another Toa of
    Stone!
    The figure get closer. Htes saw a beautiful woman with back armor and tan cloth. She was heavy armored. She was wearing a nice Kakama, a newer model than his mask. She didn’t have any weapon, and Htes was wondering why.
  • Hi, the female Toa of Stone said.
  • Hi, Htes said. Ekimu, can I ask you, Something private?
  • Sure.
    Htes and Ekimu went near by the closest window.
  • Why are you doing this?
  • Tavryn is an elite Toa.
  • I never saw her before!
  • She came from a different island!
  • A island were the Toa of Stones are girls?
  • Yeah… Nobody know why she is a girl…
  • Ekimu, nobody can replace Tahu. You said this! I am a great Toa when I work with Tahu! Not
    with stranger.
  • It’s about only a mission! Come on! You need to save Tahu as soon as possible!
  • Man, I even don’t know her name! Tvyeyn? Tevoryn? Trevorrynea?
  • Tavryn. Now you now her name. Go and save Tahu! Right now!
  • Ohhhh…… Ok……
    Htes went to Tavryn.
  • Nice to meet you…
  • I heard everything.
  • WHAT?!?!?! HOW? I was whispering!
  • You was screaming.
  • What?
  • We don’t have enough time. We need to find Tahu.
  • Sorry mam, but I have no idea where Tahu could be. I have. But we need to be fast. We need to
    go to the Tuyet Beach.
  • The Tuyet Beach? This is a 13 miles away!
  • We have a speeder outside. We take it and we go there.

Htes was on Tavryn speeder. He was jealous. First: he never ever had a speeder. Just a hut. Second: he never used his mask. When Tahu was asking why he said only “because I prefer to use a speeder.”, But now because he was on a speeder he remembered the true reason: he didn’t know how to use it. And the worst thing was that Tavryn was using her Kakama to run next to the speeder. This one the worst day ever for Htes.
Tavryn told Htes to stop the speeder. After he did this, Htes saw that they were on a beautiful beach, with a little island of a Toa in the water. The birds were singing, the Acid Flies were biting, and seven Kra-Matorans with guns were protecting a weird chunk of Keet-Orange metal: a ship who served as a troop pod in Iron Hawk’s ship. One of them entered in the pod. Htes and Tavryn were hiding over a stone.

  • Ok, Htes said. Here is the plan. We go there, stop them, take the ship, set it to Iron Hawk’s
    main ship, arrive there, rescue Tahu, find who is Iron Hawk’s boss, kill him, save the island. Ok?
  • Sorry, what?
  • You didn’t listened me?
  • Of course not! I used my Kakama to make our enemies faint our enemies.
    Htes looked to the ship and saw all the Kra-Matorans on the ground.
  • Well… Good job…
  • Now Let’s go!
    The two Toa went to the ship, when a Kra-Matoran exit from it.
  • What…? Hello!.. Who are you?..
  • Wait… Htes said, you looks familiar.
    The Matoran was wearing a Master Pakari and had a black cape.
  • Uhh… Yeah… We met before. I am Warter.
    Htes was puzzled. The Matoran saw this and said:
  • The Matoran with the pizza?
  • Yeah? Ah! You are.
  • Iron Hawk named me the weaker from his group and put me in this team.
  • Sorry little guy, but now we need to faint you.
  • No! Please! I know where Iron Hawk is!
    Htes looked at Tavryn. She moved her head like if she said “Go on! Ask him!”
  • What do you want to tell us where he is?
  • Leave me alive! I hate him! I want to be a good guy!
  • A good guy?
  • Yes! I always liked you and Tahu!
    Warter looked at Tavryn.
  • And I think I can like your girlfriend too!
  • No! We are not… Tavryn said. Ok, we will keep you around. Just, tell us where he is!
  • Ok! We will take the ship. I will drive it over Iron Hawk’s main ship. There, if Tahu is still there,
    you take it and go back to the City of Mask Makers!
  • Perfect! But we want to visit Iron Hawk’s boss first! Htes said.
  • What? This is suicide!
    Tavryn looked at Htes.
  • We are ready for suicide!

Credits to:

  1. @yolo360nosescope for Htes
  2. @Gringat for Tavryn
  3. @TLhikan for Iron Hawk

Htes (self M.O.C) V2
Tavryn the Swift
Iron Hawk's Flying Fortress

Cool story, but there are a few inconsistencies about Tavryn…

  1. She doesn’t wear much armour and it’s not that heavy.

  2. Her elemental powers are weaker than a normal toa - she uses the “Arc Focus Engine” on her back to help boost her powers to normal levels.

  3. Her mask is old. Very old. And only half-powered. It can’t let her run as fast as Pohatu could, but the Nuva ability still works, meaning she can speed up a whole team.

  4. If your story is taking place during the normal Bionicle timeline, that means Tavryn must have come from the future somehow. She was born over 500 years after Teridax died.

Otherwise good. A bit hard to follow in parts. I think you’d be better off using speech marks to outline where characters are speaking.

2 Likes

My story is after 1000 years from Teridax’s death. Sorry, but I will still use Tavryn with this characteristics. Do you like the story?

So long as you don’t try and connect her to the Cyclic Plane then.
As for the story, it’s hard to say since you’ve only done a small part of it. You need to work on your presentation too.

1 Like

What do you mean? Tips?