Court case w/ me as judge this time

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it’s a um

briefcase

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I’m allergic to brief cases.

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Ghid is now winger’s lawyer but don’t be biased or you will be sentenced to 50 seconds in my dungeon, you don’t want that do you?

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don’t worry, it’ll be a brief case

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Mr.Monopoly, Whinging Inc. will compensate you for your troubles.

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Monopoly is now in the jury as is anyone else who presents what you mortals call a “like” also, I SUMMON @N01InParticular ! (to preform the resurrection rhyme if needed)

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you better hope so

I didn’t just read a 256 page pdf for nothing

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imagine not being a collection of legal knowledge from birth ugh smh can’t relate

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I have a moral objection to being subjected to such vulgarities.

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*Leans back in bench and rests feet on bench in front of me
I would be eating popcorn but it is soooo cliche…
I’m eating cheetos instead.
This is going to be a fun case and not just because of that suspicious briefcase.

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Morality is no construct, this is my courtroom

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If I may begin?

On the afternoon of September 29th, Winger was caught snooping around Chronicler’s backyard, where he was making fresh BBQ wings for his neighbor, @N01InParticular. They both had a good time eating the chicken wings. However, as they went inside around 5:00 PM for some brief refreshments, that was when Winger jumped over Chronicler’s fence and tried to snatch the wings. Chronicler poked outside in a brief instant, and saw Winger’s hands, stained with BBQ, over his chicken wings. Chronicler and N01 immediately made a citizen’s arrest.

For my first witness, I shall call @N01InParticular to the stand to testify against Winger.

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So… uhhhhhh, where is he?

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Patience, Your Honor. Court cases take time.

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True…

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I must raise an objection at this time to the opening statement containing hearsay with no basis for such remarks and I must ask the prosecution to restrain itself from making accusations without the proper groundwork being laid. It also assumes facts not currently in evidence, such as the method by which Winger entered the yard, and the defense would be very appreciative if the court would be so kind as to strike certain aspects of the opening statement from the record.

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The issue has been arisen, Cronk, your rebuttal?

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It’s an opening statement, the evidence will be presented when the witness testifies.

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Okie dokie, i’m gonna get some chips. Update: couldn’t find any :persevere: Update two: found some :smiley:

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is this thing on?

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