Ah court cases, Beautiful in their way, and people get to say objection over and over again. Rules: One, bring me an someone who has committed a crime (or just did something annoying). Two, don’t make the defendant Ghid… (he’s too powerful for me) Three, lets stay civilized people. Four, Ah dangit i’m out of ideas. YOU MAY BEGIN
@Winger (defendant) is a prolific chicken wing stealer, and has been going around stealing chicken wings on the message board. I finally caught him in the act yesterday as he tried to steal my BBQ wings. I have come to prosecute him for his crimes against the message boards.
IT SHALL BE DONE, BRING HIM TO ME!
Wait this is a thing already.
Wait why am I being accus-
GET YOURSELF A LAWYER, NOW
hey I can be his lawyer
I know nothing about law but why would that matter when I have this handy 256 page pdf that I found on google
I believe my father has significant experience with such activities. Would it be permissible to contact him?
He’s too biased, chicken-stealing man.
I assure you, my parental figure is many things, but he is not nepotistic.
USE THE PDF IF YOU MUST!
So … do I have permission to pose my male parental figure as my lawyer?
I… shall stop using all-caps now, let us begin. and, no winger
I still don’t have a lawyer.
monopoly is your lawyer
I did not consent to this.
it’s too late now little boy
i’m the judge here
BAILIFF GET HIM HE BROUGHT A GUN!!!