Legacy of the Toa (feedback)

Creative Content Literature
#1

This is a story I’m writing on another website, Custom Bionicle Wiki. Just follow the link to read it, and feel free to comment or suggest stuff here. I’m very open to feedback!

Link: http://custombionicle.wikia.com/wiki/Legacy_of_the_Toa

Anyway, here’s the synopsis:

Taking place two generations after the Reformation of Spherus Magna, many of the Matoran Universe’s inhabitants are “shutting down.” The Glatorian and Agori have formed new clans and nations in order to support the Republic of New Atero, but things are quickly becoming chaotic. Worse yet, rumors of an ancient evil rising in the Black Spike Mountains have begun to circulate across the planet. It is now up to a small team of new Toa, their powers seeded by Mata Nui himself long ago, to combat this new threat and restore peace to Spherus Magna.

6 Likes
#2

Echo! You finally came on here! Nice to see you finally here!

(pssst, it’s me, BIONICLEToa!)

#3

Hey! Good to see you! Decided to come here after hearing about it so much on the podcast.

1 Like
#4

Hello, Echo. It’s Collector. Nice to have you here.

Your story looks pretty interesting. I always wanted to see a fan work that took place long after the reformation of Spherus Magna.

#5

Now I’ve got something else to read :stuck_out_tongue:

#6

I’ve only read the first few chapters, but I’m already being drawn into the story. Very well written, good characters. If I had to gripe about something, it would be about how Keia has a red Hau identical to Tahu’s. It just seems…overdone or something.

But yeah, overall I’m loving it so far.

1 Like
#7

The story telling is spectacular, Echo. I wish I could write like you. :frowning:

#8

Rather interesting thus far. I had some difficulty keeping track of the characters at first, but by the end I think I had them down. Really neat concept, and the writing of it is pretty decent so far. Keep up the good work!