In the time before time, there was a place, and that place was Walmart. In this Walmart, there were many items of interest for sale. Most of them were Stacked as high as the eye can see. But one item stood above all others. It was the mighty BIONICLE bootleg, in the cereal isle. And this mighty Bootleg was unlike any other, for it was EDIBLE! Hence why it was in the cereal isle. The label read “Rocka Nui”. It was the one splash of color in the Walmart, as it was a strategic store in the war between Walmart and Tarblix (Target+Publix). This Bootleg had one Hidden gem inside. For eons many noble heroes tried to claim such a treasure. And all of them failed, having to pay the full price- 17 bucks. The war had kept many from purchasing it, as many have fallen to Tarblix’s evil propaganda n’ such. But then, a mighty Bingzak appeared with 17 dollars in hand! The Bingzak bought the Rocka Nui from Ben, the cashier and a private. Little did he know, he would be instrumental in stopping the Tarblix Empire. Little did Bingzak know, Ben was a secret spy from the Tarblix Empire (insert le gasp here). He then bought the Rocka Nui, but to his dismay when he got home it was only some wheatabix and a low quality rip off of the Zombie Furno Movie in matoran language. Meanwhile, at walmart, Ben drowned. He met a terrible fate. Then he Became a Battery save on a copy of Majoras Mask. Then this whole story got derailed like a freight train tripping over a cloud. Only one man knew how to stop the Illuminati…The illuminati then Died and the story was back on Track like the Hype Train. Pekekoa cursed in his anger. “I’ll ruin this story next time. Heh heh heh… Next time!” He then ran off to his cloud fortress. But, suddenly, the hype train broke through the 4th wall! “Get back Here Foul Demon” Whaddon Shouts as he chases after Pekekoa. “Never!” Pekekoa replies as he shuts the gate on Whaddon. “Imma play Majora’s Mask now…” he says as he boots up his N64, inserts the game, takes out the game, blows into the hole on the bottom, and puts the game back in, and clicks Start. Then, Pekekoa starts arguing with the narrator. Whaddon then Notices that as the Ben drowned cartridge “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO PEKEKOA DONT DO IT YOU WILL DIE A TERRIBLE FATE!” Pekekoa opens a save file called Ben Drowned. After an hour, Pekekoa goes to Walmart, and everything is a BIONICLE knock off. Pekekoa meets a terrible fate and decides Majora’s Mask is too creepy, so he goes to Walmart to get some boinkles. And then, suddenly, the store is teleported to the island of Mata Nui. As Whaddon chased Pekekoa, and the Hype Train broke the Hype Train, a young, charming man, named Juan, entered the very same Walmart, another in the search for the Edible Bionicle Bootleg. He reminisced on his father’s stories of the quest, when you had to walk to Walmarts, and how the quest had always been unfulfilled, like the last. Juan went into the toys isle, instaed of the cereal isle, and found what looked like his prize! He touched the bootleg! And then everythings Borohk Hives. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” Juan cried with his heart aburst. Whaddon then Gives Jaun Every BIONICLE ever and a Ticket to the Hype train. Juan reveals he is secretly Kahi, disguising by calling himself by his last name. He gives all the bonkles ever to Eljay, and rides the Hype Train to Bionicle 2016. Then suddenly as he sits down, HYPE THRUSTERS ACTIVATE. But Eljay was a major doofus and he went back in time to the dinosaurs. Back to Bingzak, after leaving the Walmart with the Rocka Nui, he was attacked by wild Donkey Kongs. But the Hype Train went 88 miles per hour and went back in time and is charging directly to Eljay while he blocks it. Bingzak tried to run away when the Kongs expanded. He then realized he’s holding a macguffin, and the Kongs were from Tarblix. THE PLOT THICKENS. The Kongs, however, started monologuing, allowing Bingzak to use his secret weapon given to him by the weapon smith, Waj. This weapon did let its wielder feel the power. The weapon actually summoned a meteor that squished the Kongs. Bingzak ran away. “I… can feel… the POWAAAAAAAAAAA” Meteors fall. When Bingzak came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left. Bingzak decided that the time to be Bingzak was over, he was now Stanley. He finds himself on the Hype Train. The Hype Train traveled to BJ’s, an ally of Tarblix. Rocka Nui shuddered in anticipation. But as they arrived they were invaded by Hype Pirates (Pirates who steal Hype Leaded by Greg). The Hype Pirates kidnapped Bingzak. Luckily, he quickly hid the macguffing in his sachel, out of sight. But as Greg searched the Satchel he takes the Macguffin and throws it into the place of null Hype. Due to Rocka Nui’s magickul properties, it wasn’t destroyed. “Nothing is safe from de-canonization!” Greg laughed maniacally. The MacGuffin, angry that it’s G was not capitalized, teleports to the message boards, finds Whaddon and murders him brutally. But it is stuck in a place that if you enter you will be unhypable FOREVER. But Rocka Nui was a MacGuffin, and thus was saved from unhype. We explain it the same way we explain every plot-hole. magic. But then the Hype Train Comes as everyone who wrote on the story jump on and go into the MEGA HYPE PORTAL and HYPE THRUSTERS ACTIVATE. Bingzak was thrown in a jail cell with Jimmy, a cat, and a lieutenant in the Walmartian Grand Army. And everyone lived happily ever after. At least for a while… LET THE HYPE TRAIN BE BRAKELESS.