(OLD) Makuta Neptune ,COMMUNITY BUILD PROJECT CLICK PICTURES FOR FULL VIEW

Creative Content Lego Creations
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NAME : NEPTUNE

STATUS : UNKNOWN

OCCUPATION : ASSASSIN

WEAPON : THE AQUATIAM SKULL

This is Makuta Neptune he is hated by many but a hero he is not. Born into the brotherhood him and his brother Abyss were feared for there great amount of power but Abyss betrayed the Makuta and left in the night so the brotherhood set Neptune one goal find and kill Abyss. It is said that Neptune is is very rarely seen on land as he spends his time planing on the sea and only his servants stay on land getting information on were abyss is but others say that he is dead but the only ones who know were Neptune is isAbyss and Doromine

PICTURES:

20180209_214037.jpg1836×3264 1.47 MB
20180209_214023.jpg1836×3264 1.51 MB
20180209_214139.jpg1836×3264 1.43 MB
20180209_214054.jpg1836×3264 1.45 MB
20180209_213952.jpg1836×3264 1.52 MB

8 Likes
2

A little too simple, I fear. The torso is just a stick, the legs and arms are basic CCBS builds and why is his hand green?

I do like the look of the creature head on his torso, though.

But he needs to get more complex.

Backstory:

  1. Name - don’t give him the exact same name as a mythological figure - at least variate it a little.

2)[quote=“Abyss_Lockstrider, post:1, topic:43187”]
him and his brother Abyss
[/quote]

There is no Makuta Abyss entered into the Brotherhood Project so this doesn’t work.

More or less makes him a warrior Makuta in my eyes - and there aren’t any more of those allowed.

  1. He has to die.

So I fear your entry still needs some work to get accepted.

3 Likes
3

Some name ideas

  • Neptarus
  • Neptarion
  • Neptergra
  • Nepengrak
  • Nepharios
  • Nepharium
  • Nescalar
  • Nelarium
2 Likes
4

Of course his backstory here is probably the same in your private story, and that’s cool and all, but because of that, it feels disconnected from the lore of Generation 1 as well as the Brotherhood Project he’s supposed to be a part of.

The only references to anything G1 are the words ‘Brotherhood’ and ‘Makuta’. Where does he live in the Matoran Universe? What is his relationship with the other Makuta, and how does he die? What was his job in the Brotherhood? Did he have a land assigned to him by Miserix? What is his Mask Power?

Additionally, some terms you’ve mentioned, such as Doromine, Abyss, and the Aquatiam Skull, are given no context. Who is Doromine? What does the Aquatiam Skull do? And, more importantly, the linked topic to Makuta Abyss as well as his central importance to Neptune’s story/motivation indicates that his story is relevant as well. Then, I feel compelled to ask how an immortal emperor or Shadow scourge(Which, admittedly, is a pretty dope MOC) fit into the G1 universe.

I think you need to flesh out Neptune’s story much more, and make sure it fits within the context of the Bionicle Canon. As for the MOC: It’s got some neat ideas, but I’m not much of a MOCist myself, so I’ll stick to story critiques.

2 Likes
5

Cool. But back needs some fixing, even though the back is covered by the cape