<ModSquad: This critique was authorized by the creator of the MOC. It’s rough, but he has been warned of and consented to my verbal obliteration.>
Oh boy, where to start. Ground up?
I think we’ll start from the ground up.
…they’re feet? Really not sure what to say. I’ve always liked that particular foot piece, but the Technic addition here isn’t very well done. Looks too thin from the back and too blocky from the front. Otherwise…eh? Not really a fan of them.
Super basic design that would be fine with a bit more work - not even specifically work on the lower legs. More on that in the torso section. Otherwise, they need some filling in and some smoothing out, maybe, but for what they are I guess they’re alright.
Really, really bad. Far too thin for the bulky bruiser design the rest goes for, and overall the combination of those parts stopped being “good” years ago when we got better alternatives. With some tweaks it could work, but I feel like it would be more hassle than the design is worth. All I can honestly recommend here is a redesign.
Uhh…a little too hollow? Needs some filling out but otherwise this is fine. No need to over complicate something that doesn’t need to be.
This is where the fun begins.
Because this is…uh…interesting?
I think the use of the Pakari Nuva as pecs is creative and interesting - and it’s not that part of the design that irks me.
First off, the Nuva shoulder in the middle of the chest needs to either go away or get flipped upward. As-is, it looks very flat and out of place compared to the armoring right beneath it.
Speaking of the armor right beneath it, the Mantax shell - while I commend the usage of such a fickle part - isn’t really used all that well in my opinion. It excels at manipulating visual weight, but here it just kinda makes him look thick sideways. Wouldn’t be an issue if the thighs were bulkier and the shoulders were narrower, but because of those two items not being fulfilled, the design falls short of optimal. The tubes on the front also look very random and distracting, so I’d personally recommending cleaning those out.
Additionally, he has one of the worst cases of a T-orso I can ever think of. Incredibly T shaped with very little transition. I’d recommend pulling the shoulders in quite a bit.
Probably the best part of the MOC. Aside from the Metru thigh armor on top of the Hordika foot, you’ve got their flow down pretty well, and the armoring is done well enough. Aside from the aforementioned flow-breaking Metru thigh, I actually think I like it. Not much else to say.
I like Piraka legs.
I do not like Piraka legs as arms. Ever.
Third least favorite part of the MOC at least. They work as legs, but here the design is far too sleek and backwards to properly suit as arms. Additionally, my Rule #2 is broken by both forward and backward facing armor. Custom arms will be your friend here. The hands (just gonna lump them in with the lower arms) are maybe a bit too prefab, but since this is supposedly Onua I can’t really complain too much about some killer Shredder Claws.
Yes. You heard me. Head.
It doesn’t work.
The mask here is completely atrocious and contradictory to the character shaping in every way possible. It is incredibly sleek, flat, thin, and tall. The MOC itself is textured, greebled, bulky, and squat.
I could see Onua 2015’s mask working here, as the set in question shared very similar proportions to what you have here. Possibly even Onua 2016, but I don’t own that mask so I cannot confirm or deny. Almost any other mask would be better here, provided it was in the right colors.
Overall - not a fantastic MOC. I see quite a few areas for improvement though, which means potential. The only place I see no redemption for would be the thighs…just, start over for those maybe. Just my two cents at least.
Something I do commend it for, however, would be the color scheme. Generic, yes, but it’s consistent, and the blue pins don’t distract me too much. Perhaps on a sleeker character it would, but here the textures work in your favor for once.
Good luck, and keep on MOCing! You’ll get there