welp there’s The One To Trust
yes, but in BoD you resurrected them
Actually you didn’t because I wasn’t a user in the first book.
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yes but ok but ok
So the last two chapters have started with the same sentence. Maybe it’s parallelism, or maybe the events occurring with Tott and co. affect those in the BoL simulation?
or maybe this is what you call grasping at straws
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I’d like to go with that
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HMMMMMM HMMM HMM HMM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMMM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM HM HMMM HMM HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
Interesting.
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why must you destroy any evidence I have for the schism theory?
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–
Chapter 6
–
The bright lights surrounding my head were getting to be obnoxious.
I buckled myself back into the front passenger seat and looked at Diero. He was trying to cram a bullet fitting his former revolvers into the handgun of the officer with little success, as the round of ammunition was larger than the capacity for the chamber. A string of gunfire littered the roof with holes.
“Eilrach, we had a deal.” I growled at the radio. “You had better keep up your end.”
“AND I WAS UNDER THE PRESUMPTION THAT ‘DEAL’ ENTAILED THE ASSURANCE THAT YOUR PET WOULD BE MORE COMPETENT AT ELIMINATING THREATS FROM THE AIR!!” The radio sparked and sputtered a response even as the wheel spun wildly to round yet another curve, one of the vehicles following failing to completely make the turn and running into some poor fellow’s apartment building.
Hm? Oh, hi. Yeah, you’re probably curious as to how exactly this circumstance came to be. Well, you recall how Diero caught the car? Turns out there was an absolutely massive police presence waiting for us at the bottom of the cliff amidst the neon lights and perpetual smog. They weren’t very happy about the entire situation, and me telling them to mind their own business didn’t seem to stall them at all. Eilrach bolted, I promised rather disingenuously to ensure he returned to his throne of glory if he didn’t let any of the more organic passengers get harmed, and hey presto, here we are.
Diero pulled the trigger of the firearm, causing an explosion as the oversized bullet failed to leave the chamber and the resulting force tore the gun apart. The firing mechanism tore out of the gun and hit Diero’s face with enough force that, if he were some wobbly flesh person, would have passed directly through his head. Use the right ammunition, kids.
“You’re going to have to factor them in,” I retorted to the radio, “because eliminating them isn’t an option right now. Everyone holding up back there?” My eyes turned towards the rear of the car, where Winger, Cordax, and Racie were huddled in a big ball on the floor, trying to take up as little space as possible.
“Cool. I’m not paying for your therapy.”
There was a tumultuous noise further along the road, and I saw a hastily-constructed barrier made of police vehicles stacked on top of each other. How in the world they had been assembled in such a manner and so quickly I could not comprehend at the time, but keep in mind I also had a numerous amount of things occupying my attention.
“Left, left! There’s an alley there!” I shouted at the steering wheel as it spun wildly about.
“YOU DO NOT COMMAND EILRACH!!” Eilrach responded as the car swung to the right. “GET DOWN, GET DOWN BEFORE IT BECOMES TOO LATE TO DO SO!!”
I sunk down into my seat while Diero refused to do anything outside of place one hand on his hat. There was the shattering of glass, then a curved metal object smashed through the windshield and exited through the open back window. Diero was hit in the face by a number of vividly colored garments and several more wild turns were made. Then the car crawled to a halt.
“REPORT ON THE CONDITION OF OUR PASSENGERS.” The car idled for a moment. “WE HAVE VERY LITTLE TIME BEFORE IT BECOMES NO TIME AT ALL.”
Sitting back up, I saw we had entered a large and obviously closed shopping mall. Diero angrily ripped apart the three casual wear blouses and the sports-branded pajamas which rudely smashed into his bony features during the car chase, seemingly offended to have made physical contact with anything that wasn’t stereotypical cowboy wear. It’s possible I could be jumping to conclusions about his motivation, but I doubt it.
Winger suddenly coughed, drawing my attention towards the rear of the vehicle, where Racie had gone into shock, staring blankly off into the car door. Cordax was very gingerly picking pieces of glass out of her hair, trying not to cut her in the process. I couldn’t see my son’s eyes behind that obnoxious helmet, but the emotion carried through. If things didn’t work out-
The car revved suddenly. “THEY ARE HERE.”
Two more police vehicles appeared from where Eilrach had driven through and one drove down the hand rails of an escalator. Eilrach gunned it, burning rubber as he rounded another turn and crashed through numerous mannequins. One of their heads popped off and landed in my lap, turning a colorless pair of eyes up towards me in what was possibly the universe’s way of detailing the irony of the situation to me.
Here I was - housed in a wooden mannequin I had sculpted in the top of that old, forgotten tower - and yet everything was, more or less, all going to plan, even now. None of the setbacks had interfered all that much, not even the cider factory lifting into the air and flying away. Ghid is still the villain and these intrepid morons would very much still be the heroes.
It was then I doubted myself. Could I really get away with it all?
The vehicle controlled by the deceased skeleton lord crashing through the large glass wall at the front of the mall did little to phase my train of thought. Two helicopters buzzed above me, shining lights down onto the chaotic chase. At one point I vaguely noticed Diero flip onto his back and push the hood off, sending it flying into the windshield of another car.
I mean, just think about it. I was risking everything on this plan! Could I actually depend upon everything working out precisely as I had intended it to? These clodpolls would have to vanquish Ghid at the penultimate moment and then he would come back.
The world would be freed from Ghid’s iron grip that it didn’t even know existed. These neanderthals would be victorious… And my son would be alone. I’d like to think that’s why I hesitated, how I held back my resolve on this cautiously concocted plan, but ultimately, I’ll never know exactly why I descended into such a reverie.
It was abruptly ended, however, when a lone figure walked onto the street. Even from a great distance I could tell he was a bit larger than usual. Diero reacted by motioning for him to clear the lane and Eilrach reacted by gunning it even harder. The figure reached back as the vehicle approached, and sensing the impending danger, Diero turned towards the back, grabbed hold of the three stooges cowering on the floor, and leapt into the air. I’m not sure how but he timed it all so perfectly that he landed on the street, killing his momentum.
It was then I noticed he had snagged another bite out of the back fiberglass of the vehicle, the one originally ruined with my message. Standing tall, his eyes blazed forth fire as the oncoming vehicles slammed into him at full speed and never collided with those he was protecting.
However, I had problems of my own. There was a violent sound, and I was thrown through the adult-sized seatbelt and into the waiting palm of one of the officers. He was absolutely massive, packed with all sorts of gear, and he wore an orange Pakari along with orange armor. Across his body were numerous plates of some kind, a dark grey in appearance, which the oncoming shrapnel bounced off without leaving a scratch.
The blunt force of the impact did not harm me physically, but I was disoriented for a moment. It was only too late that I noticed his right hand had embedded itself in the vehicle’s engine and pinned it to the ground, somehow strong enough to fight off the momentum of the speeding vehicle, which now had green smoke seeping out of the front and directly towards me. My eyes glazed over as Eilrach took control.
“HAHAHA!! IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF TIME UNTIL-”
He stopped cold. I could feel his essence as if his face was visible - pure and utter shock at the realization of just who had been inhabiting this body all along.
“Y-You. It was you. How- ERHM, HOW DID YOU-”
“Give up the act, Eilrach.” I snarled inside my being. “You can’t hide what you are anymore, you’re a sad, demented fool who lost a kingdom through your own stupidity. I’m in control now, and Diero has what little remains of your essence. Play nice or you don’t get to come back.”
With an amount of effort I hope Eilrach wouldn’t detect, I forcibly removed the stunned skeleton lord’s spectral spirit from my wooden frame, my eyes clearing into the world once more.
“right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you. You have the right to refuse whichever jams you find unacceptable while in custody.” The officer gripping my body spoke. “And you have the right to deny this question, sir, but… Who the heck is your friend?”
The party from the vehicle had been handcuffed, and Diero was standing slightly off to the side, eyeing Racie suspiciously, as she was still visibly in shock and the officers didn’t seem to care. They stood around with their blue Pakaris chatting over the eventfulness of the chase as if this was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to them.
“…Just a man with a dream.”
–
6 Likes
Ooh another chapter. I wonder who the guy with the orange Pakari could be…
Also,
this part is quite intriguing…
6 chapters in and I’m already a bit behind 
But I went through this chapter to see if I could figure out the answer to Yukah’s question
For a moment I thought it might be Rac’s Atobri moc…
But after looking through the list of users, TheMoccingBird seems the most plausible to me
(Less-than-fantastic image quality oh the horror)
However, unlike in BoR he is alive and it also seems like Wingy and Racie don’t recognize him (EDIT: he also seems to not have his eyepatch since this chapter describes his eyes, plural) … which means (
) BoT must take place before BoR!
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Hmm yeah that seems about right. I guess we’ll see as the book progresses…
“For those whose wit becomes the mother of all villainy, those it educates to be evil in all things.”
― Sophocles
Where’s the Ultimate BoT Theorizer when you need him?
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Well my name isn’t in the BoR signup topic, is it?
Neither is the cider factory, and that appeared 
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That’s not a user though
And yet you did inevitably sign up, as I predicted you would.
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I want to know, Ghid, how far ahead do you plan? Like, did you know that Tott was going to exist when gif were writing BoR?
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I originally thought Book of Ramblings was going to be a one-off, but about halfway through I realized this was inevitably going to have a sequel. At that point I started plotting out major elements of the eventual multi-book story through rather trivial points:
Does Photez normally have a coat? No.
How did he get this coat? It was given to him.
Why was it given to him? To head to the cider factory.
Who gave it to him? Ghid.
And then it was figuring out other details, like why Ghid would make a cider factory and then completely abandon it while still trying to use it through a third party, and the idea of him being prevented from using it came to mind. So most of the larger lore elements are built up from smaller details like that.
Tott in particular came about near the end of Book of Ramblings, as it wouldn’t make sense for Ghid to both find a way to escape his confinement and then stay confined unless he had an elaborate plan necessitating his remaining imprisoned. That dastardly Ghid, what will he do next?
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oh wow I thought you were just going to neither confirm or deny allegations
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I can neither confirm or deny allegations that I would neither confirm or deny allegations
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incredible
smhhhh you won’t pay for child support either
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