The Book of Tears | ARMAGHIDDON

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Peach, understaahaAAand, I'll only LUHV ya TEL THE VARY AAEAEHNDDuh

The hardest choices require the strongest of wills

Tott doesn’t count because Ghid’s still alive :trolleybus:

Zippy-dee-doo-dah

I don’t know how I made it this long without posting Killer Fish from San Diego

I had said a b-list focus was my intent with BoTGHIDDON, and I’ll stick by my word :triumph:

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skull

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It’s too bad he won’t go into an in-character monologue detailing his entire motivations and why exactly he’s suddenly beginning a hostile takeover (it’s also too bad I never laid the groundwork for this a while ago [how neglectful of me])

Diero: BAAAAAD TO THE BOOOOONE

Gofers: Look my pinkies are on fire

it’s like build-a-bear except it’s the dreamers who are bare (please kill me for this joke)

Whaaaaat I would never kill Cordax off in one of the books

so gracefully

Can’t wait for Cordax to become lime lacroix smoothie yum yum :yum:

I know theorizin’ hasn’t been super convenient for you, but I really do appreciate your silly little conspiracy theories, they’re always a joy to read and debunk/confirm. It makes me happy that even if I laptop smash gif at my own chapters three minutes after posting them, someone will laptop rebuild gif because of them.

Ru Bier :angry:

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Ch 11

Chapter 12

“DIERO ROCK NOW!!” Renner screamed for the third time, which only made Diero look for a rock even faster and less precisely than before. His search ended when one of the Ghid Dreamers present handed him a stone off the ground.

“Uhh, okay.” Diero handed it to the ever-ascending Renner, who scribbled furiously on it and tossed it back down to his deadsperado. “You really think you can just feign innocence here, Ghid? After everything you’ve done?”

“I’ve been watching.” I said through a different Dreamer. “You’ve got to make it to that hole in the sky before he does. Get moving; I’ll cover you.” All one thousand of the stony Dreamer Ghids moved into a large series of circles around the spot where Renner had started floating upwards from, and although my quickened intellect had made the decision based on relevant and prevalent information readily accessible in that moment, the slower mental processes of the laminated loser and his belligerent bonehead eventually figured out why.

Out of the darkness glowed a number of yellow lights, all of which corresponded to the eyes of Dreamers, which lumbered out of the dark looking for an opportunity to interfere with Renner’s ascent. Diero reached for a gun he didn’t have, frowning in discontent at the fact, and starting slightly at the massive hand which gripped his shoulder as I stepped forward, the Dreamer I possessed holding a heavy metal bar in the opposite hand.

HELP. ME.” It whispered.

“You have the right to remain silent!” A voice sounded. “By order of our rightful king, his excellence Lord Zippy, you are hereby ordered to lay down your arms and ammunition and surrender immediately! Failure to do so swiftly and promptly will result in-”

Zippy’s on this now?” Diero hissed, after having thrown the largest piece of debris he could find at the officer. “Boss, you couldn’t levitate any faster, could you?”

“I’m trying, honestly.” Renner exhaled, having prepared to shout again and finding himself just too tired to do that. “Ghid, I’m going to kill you at least a thousand more times if you try anything while I’m absent. You understand?”

“Loud and clear.” I answered through at least three different bodies. It was hard to tell for certain, even for me, since I was also so preoccupied hurling whoever I could get my many hands on into the furthest buildings I could manage. A slew of officers had appeared over the edge of the crater of debris from the once splendid tower of mine, and were all opening fire, equally split between a few of myself, Diero, and the ascending Renner, all of which remained completely unharmed.

“Please, oh please, do me a huge favor.” The metal bar I held continued rambling in protest. “You want to use me as a weapon? I suppose I have no choice. But please oh please don’t use me to stab anyone through the stomaAAAAAaAaaAUAugaghAaaAAaghaghgAhuuUGgghHH WHY OH GOSH WHY DID YOU DO THAT”

I had handed him over to Diero, who immediately used the bar as a way to fulfill the command of “DREAM: WHIRLING IRON!!” Renner had said, albeit far quieter than he would have otherwise. Now cloaked in blue flame, the bar had been used as a spear and skewered through the face of an oncoming Dreamer with incredible efficiency.

It was in vain that the sentient crooked bar continued bellowing out his protest at nearly everything that occurred; Diero’s resolve was that of a lion, and one with a stupid hat at that. Goodness, I missed making fun of these two.

“You were in a realm of infinite possibility.” I commented calmly as I gave a fine, upstanding officer of the law a serious concussion. “You had the power to rewrite the universe at your fingertips. Why, then, did you not think of a way to move faster than a lead balloon?”

“My priorities were a little less scattered, thank you!” Renner frowned at the me that had spoken most recently, now only some fifty-odd meters in the air. “I was trying not to die from everything you threw at me, and I already had a mode of transportation at the time, although that appeared to- it’s those two!”

Renner pointed a finger at an approaching group of officers among the horde. Officers Pakari and Bird were present, the former nestled in the grip of one of the larger, heavier units of which Bird was a part, visibly unresponsive, while the latter had to be restrained by four of them. Upon seeing the battle taking place, the latter wrestled himself free from his captors’ grip and launched into the fray, swatting aside numerous Dreamers while cradling Pakari in his arm.

Looking up at Renner, I had decided enough was enough, and after assembling a large number of my Dreamers together I assembled a scrambling tower of my host bodies which barely reached the slowly ascending simpleton, shoving him upwards as fiercely as I could. He was caught off-guard by the maneuver, but it did help to increase his speed, placing him at the entrance tear in no time.

Good. I looked away as the Dreamer tower disassembled and practically fell on the overwhelming amount of opponents. There’s no way he got there before that polished peabrain did.

Renner stepped in, the cold of the snow stinging his heel as his eyes took in the calming sight of a slow breeze, sweeping snow across the flat plain. Tiny flowers poked up through the fiield of white crystals, yellow petals turned away and to the tiny sun in the distance, nestled on the horizon.

Wait a minute. Renner blinked twice, his memory correcting some details. The tear had been in the middle of the air almost at random, he had last peen on an almost snowless peak, and there were no flowers. The beginning of a distance chuckle put him into battle stance, his dream-powered armor flowing into new, previously impossible shapes.

You’re the subject of this story, the one now in control of this place.” The voice whispered, a blizzard whipping through at high speed. All the flowers turned to face him, yellow petals nestled around a blue center. The silhouette of a figure began marching out of the storm, the sun where his head should be.

The sun turned blue.

Well, now I am too.

Ch 13

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this image doesn’t have any relevance I just liked the energy it conveyed

uh Uhh uh uhh Uh well hm this might be a problem. I wonder how chromeboy will get out of this wacky and whimsical situation? whooo knooooooows?

me

ok get theorizing nerd :triumph: I stayed up late to pump this one out for you

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Oh hey it’s Sonus Monopoly and Axelford
Neat chapter

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Tonight on Top Gear
I learn how to levitate
James eats a rock and commits several manslaughter using a living metal pipe
And Hammond ascends into godhood

Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches, Peaches I LUEGHEUGHV YOEUGH, EOUOUOUGH

That’s exactly why I said that Tott doesn’t-

Wait why is there an :trolleybus: emoji? Is it because :trolleybus: rhymes with sus?

Ok google why am I dead inside

I was wondering where’d my prangles go

Good. What about the c-list (c-obalt, c-ethryn and c-lower half) tho? I wonder where they are now.
C-lower half’s wings would surely be useful in the latest chapter.

Listen, the problem here is the “a while ago” part. I forgor.

Nah, I think I can bear with this kind of humour. I barely even cringed

Thanks man, I sure did laptop rebuild gif today because of the latest chapter
wait, uh, wholesome moment is over. Wholesome is banned in the land of Bo_ :rage:

Speaking of the latest chapter…


Chapter 12

Yes

No. Sonus got killed (?) a while ago. I will theorise about who this is later in this post.

Unexpected Ghid and NOTaHFfan team up. Last time something like this happened, weebs got completely erased from the multiverse (this was one of the TTV moments of all time), so this is going to be interesting.

Oh hi Axelford

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So amazing to see Diero actually being a force to be reckoned with again. And the fact that he is using the poor Axel as a weapon to reenact the dream is an icing on the cake.

Awww so heartwarming to see that Ghid missed the silvery stooge and deadsperado while on his moon vacation

Thank you mr Ghid, that’s a very good question. I wish I were the one to ask it first though :triumph:

If the possibility is so infinite, could he have just made himself the most powerful being in the universe by giving himself the ability to kill anything with one punch, for instance? Hypothetically, of course, because you would have to be an absolute genius of an author to pull such a scenario off in an interesting way.

He’s trying his best, okay? In order to achieve your dream, you need to work hard and strive for it. This is the way of sussy imposters. (Thank you, thank you for your applause, I know my book criticising has been exceptionally good today)

Ayyy new nickname, I think. I surely will be adding it to the ever growing list of nicknames when I post the next version of the Renner moc… if that next version ever forces its way into existence.

Ay, he finally made it. I sure hope nothing whimsical happens this t-

Okay, it’s time to address the ghelephant in the renneroom.
The “he” that Ghid didn’t want to let into the portal so much (unsuccessfully) throughout the whole chapter that he even teamed up with Renner and the silhouette we see here is none other than Monopoly.

Which reminds me of a line by one of the Ghidfolks from the Ghid committee from one of the previous chapters:

He was actually talking about Monopoly. Monopoly is the great evil Ghid is afraid of, and now that he achieved the godly power of the Dream World, the only thing that’s keeping him from world destruction is the Anodize airhead.

This 100% cements my suspicion that Monopoly is the main villain of the Bo_ series. Now the “but what if you were the villain” line from BoR makes more sense than ever

Quite ironic that Ghid essentially brought this all upon himself. Had he not pulled an epic prank on Monopoly during BoR and BoL, the dude would have stayed an ordinary goon and wouldn’t have decided to kill Ghid to get revenge, threatening the existence of the universe itself in the process.

Speaking of,

If this means what I think it means, Monopoly and Renner are essentially on equal footing now. They both seem to have the godly reality-altering powers of the Dream World, considering the changed environment of the world and Renner unlocking “new, previously impossible shapes” of armour. But the logistics of how this is possible are still unclear to me.

What’s also unclear is how Monopoly knows about the existence of the Dream World and how it works. Obviously, Ghid couldn’t have told him because there is no reason to and Monopoly couldn’t have gotten this knowledge on his own. The only two options I can think of are: he saw the giant hole in the sky and decided that it would be funny as hell if he went there (somehow, he can’t fly) or he got the knowledge of this dimension from the Chronicler’s arm (I assume he still has it, right?) and went there deliberately (somehow, he can’t fly).

Either way,

Chapter 14 is definitely going to be hella wacky and whimsical.

Also,

Typo

Someone help this man, he’s having a stroke

I wonder what will take longer: me putting this in the OOC topic or you fixing the typo before I can do anything :skull:

The timer is ticking

Like father like son I mean like author like theoriser

Beba :rage:

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the cycle begins anew

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I never thought BoT could become a top gear meme but it honestly works so well

We're the Mario Brothers, and plumbin's our game Found a secret warp zone while workin' on the drain

https://media.tenor.com/images/6207fa6d1c407e761355d225ac1149cb/tenor.gif

Notahafhahhfhahahanahfnhn face reveal

Well the lower half doesn’t exist anymore and Sonus is dead

As for Jethryn and Cobalt, better keep your eyes peeled :eye: :eye:

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Renner’s really only participating because he doesn’t have an alternative (he is floating off to a better life)

It’s too bad he will never ever have a gun again in any capacity nope never nuh uh :pensive:

You will not pull a fast one over on me, mr. weeb :angry:

In order to achieve your dream, you yell it at your homeless anorexic friend who lights things on fire and swings them at people

It is. :sunglasses:

My hope is to have a few more new nicknames for folks before this is over, now that Ghid is back in the script. The first half of Book of Dreams was very bad and dumb incredibly fun to write, mostly because of the insane action but also because of my thesaur- I mean inherent literary knowledge :brain:

I didn’t like having to write Tott as so much of a jerk though, but now that Ghid’s got more pressing priorities I can hopefully lessen the edge there.

skull

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We have a winner.

I cannot confirm or deny allegations that he is the Monopoleon of crime

Ghid when he gets brutally murdered and makes his son hate him and loses his monarchy all because of a little trolling

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So it works like this:

In a world where you can do anything, anything can be done. But now try to take something that can do anything to a world where it can’t and get the same results. Problem? Solution - it can do anything within certain physical limits, namely how much it weighs, its relative mass, and how much of it there is to go around.

Hence why it was reforming across renner’s body instead of just making new armor out of thin air. This is also why Renner couldn’t just make himself invincible - it would have to be something that could theoretically translate over to reality and still function.

Now, if he could figure out something like that, bravo to him, but, well, it’s definitely in-universe Renner and not me that can’t think of a way to make more op-power operate and come out of that world while still being cohesive. Yep.

Are you for real?

Please, I could come up with at least fifteen theories for that issue.

Really, even something as simple as him flapping his arms fast enough would work.

It’s hard to believe, but I really did lay the groundwork for a stunt like that.

Largely because, after all, I’m just such a big brain with my hidden details.

political joke

well I have to do work so… :pensive: my fate is sealed, I deserve the death penalty

look winger I brought something better than the milk

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whoops, shoulda known it was good ol’ marble head

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that’s no way to talk about goodguy

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Ch 12

Chapter 13

This is bad.

Racie’s head rotated very slowly to look with the flattest glare humanly possible at the metal ball, which like her was peeking ever so slightly out from behind the corner of the… Well, it was more of the inside of a pipe than an actual wall. Whatever this place was, it was not designed with the sort of shenanigans taking place in mind.

In fact, as Racie considered this particular point, she noticed high above the party in their painful predicament was a huge tangle of heavy industrial-grade cables, sagging with the weight of some small object caught in the middle of them. Flashes illuminated it slightly as it lay hidden in the darkness, flashes of green from Gofers as his inexperience was costing him serious ground, and other flashes, very subtle, flashes from…

We need to go there.” Racie pointed towards a large machine at the back of the action, with massive wires leading from it into the wall. “If that’s where the little glowing guy is coming from, I can shut him down for good.

You’re not gonna get over there.” AI protested. “By the time you get halfway across the room, you’ll get spotted and picked apart by the massive thing with massive teeth. There’s no way you can get over there without being noticed.

I would like it on the record that I did try to stop you from noticing the ladder.” AI continued as Racie reached the top of the ladder and began crawling quietly along the scaffolding. “Please tell me you’ve got another really great plan for how to cross that massive gap without standing up.

You bet I do.” Racie grinned, snatching the silver ball out of the air and chucking it towards the present party, but the anti-gravity kicked in almost immediately, ending the flight before it began. “Are you serious?! You just tried to threw me over there and get me killed!!

You’re a robot, you can’t get killed.” Racie rolled her eyes.

Then what’s gonna happen with this guy, huh?” AI shot back, exasperated. “Take a millennium-long nap, maybe? Like an AI would ever do that.

Their back-and-forth argument was interrupted by a cry from Cordax, who wrestled himself backwards and, albeit unbeknownst to those watching, had regained some visceral memory of being stomped to pieces, as the looming limb of the gunk-covered monster now threatened to do the same. Evidently his power nap had expired not long ago, and now he lay, coiled in fear, watching the ominous stomper of the creature aim its vicious maneuver.

Gofers slammed his shoulder into the mouth of the creature, driving it back slightly as it tried and failed to once again bite into Gofers’ bony hide. Winger was busy trying to write more commands in the near-darkness, the creature swinging Gofers around in its bite like a dog thrashing a toy around. The dancing hologram had disappeared for a moment.

Really though, would you fly over there and start being a problem for people?” Racie winced, clutching her side again. “I can’t possibly get over that gap without being noticed by this crowd, and there’s no other way tor each that machine.

Two things.” AI replied, even as Gofers got thrown half the length of the room, crashing into several large glass tubes. “One, I’m very offended at your attempt to throw me and make me participate in your hair-brained schemes, and two, I am by no means prepared to have to deal with revealing myself to Cordax what are you doing if you throw me agai- NO DON’T TOUCH THA-”

The restart button had been pressed on the small silver sphere, and Racie tossed it aside once more, taking a couple of deep breaths before forcing herself to stagger upwards. The silver ball landed unnoticed by the crowd during the conflict, as the massive creature had lunged at Winger and was only being held back by Gofers furiously tugging on its gilled cheek.

“Sorry, I had to set up a message to rally the ol’ troops.” The hologram interrupted, suddenly appearing high above the party once more. “So you’re probably wondering when you’ll learn about my master plan to rule the world, and since you’re so well preoccupied at the moment, I suppose you wouldn’t mind being regaled.”

“Could you go back to being quiet?” Gofers groaned, finally finding the leverage to lift the gunk-lathered monster up by its teeth and hurl it into the wall. “I’m getting awfully tired of your tirade so far.” The skeleton retrieved another inscribed piece of rubble from Winger, who was behaving far more confident now that the fight was turning around.

“Hey, I’m talkin’ here!” The hologram bellowed, and from some unseen crevice flew a small glass object, which shattered against Winger’s helmet ineffectively. As Winger turned to discern its point of origin, he fell sideways to the ground, completely unresponsive. Out from the crevice crawled three more Dreamers, one of which held a large amount of the glass Tears, poised to throw another.

“So it went kind of like this:” The hologram sat down in the middle of the air, oblivious to the sphere turning back on or Racie crying out as she landed painfully on the other side of the gap. “A long while ago Volume got a hold of something called the Weeping Mirror. Apparently it’s made up of many fragments of metal from different places, but that’s not extremely important. Around the same time he bumbled across that little relic, he also got wind of a group of dead people on the outskirts of civilization.”

“Now that alone was suspicious enough, but it turned out these things were utterly invincible!” The hologram spun about in emphasis while the gunky creature had recovered and charged at Gofers, picking him off the ground and ramming him into the opposite wall. “And he determined exactly how to make them, too, which he detailed down in his personal AI. Oh, how funny that is! The high and mighty Volume’s so incompetent he needs artificial intelligence to make up for his lack of any.”

Cordax watched in horror as the ferocious beast brought its fanged jaws down on Winger, the only thing remaining being his now severed left arm. “And that AI, which also happened to be the AI used by the entire police department, now had the recipe for how to make an invincible army of Dreamers, the name of which I learned from some little online sleuthing. I have you to thank for that, by the way.” He suddenly turned and pointed right at Racie, who recoiled in horror at the motion.

“And you know what’s even funnier than all that?” He loomed over her, his massive orange Pakari grinning wildly. “When I was making them, I had to operate under the silly little obedience rules that Ghid set up to keep me in line. Even when I was sending off massive hordes to follow that Renner idiot and smother his little resistance effort, I still had to follow my perceived ‘orders’, however I could twist them to work.”

“But just a little while ago some nice police officer informed me I could just give myself the clearance to do whatever I want! Me!” He reeled back, throwing his hands towards the ceiling. “ME!! I can just FREE myself! And now, I’ve given myself the clearance to take over the world through that mind-control-thing Volume invented and forgot about as a nuclear option if the police ever turned on him. I’d think that would be against union guidelines, though; do you think he ever told them he did that?”

Gofers was being ineffectively restrained by two of the new Dreamers, able to free himself but in the utmost horror at Winger becoming hors d’oeuvre for the fishy friend. Cordax was staring at the arm and preparing to go into shock, while the silver ball housing AI watched ineffectively, unable to do anything lest he-

No wait there he goes.

“Why don’t you pick on somebody your own size, buster?” AI growled, turning on his hologram and increasing the size as large as he could - which wasn’t even half the size of Zippy’s. The gunk monster looked up in confusion, his mouth full of Winger, trying to determine which of the collections of lights was its master.

“Excuse me?” Zippy loomed downwards. “Who exactly are you supposed to be?”

“That’s not important.” AI responded, undeterred by the hologram’s size. “What is important is the fact that I forgot what I was going to say when I got here, I kind of had a mental speech prepared about how you’re wrong and stuff, um.” He kept up his grimacing expression, trying not to let his words get to his performance. “Aside from being a horrible person, how’re you doing?”

“You’re stalling to give her time, it won’t work.” Zippy frowned, another Dreamer climbing out of the computer area and ascending the scaffolding. “Did you really think I’d let my ultimate plans get stopped by a Nobody, a Nothing like yourself?”

“What defines a nobody, or a nothing?” AI retorted. “Is it just your perception of them? And what makes you any less of a nobody than myself?” The gunk creature was getting increasingly confused, leaving a massive window open for Cordax to act, who was still transfixed on the severed arm. “Is it your pompousness, or your ego which gives you claim to the title of someone?

“It’s because I am inherently superior because of who I am as a person.” Zippy leaned back and adjusted his absurd hat. “I’m just better than you on a fundamental level, on top of all my accomplishments and recognition. My clout isn’t what makes me; it’s a reflection of what I deserve.”

“Is that’s why Ghid’s here?” Racie pointed up towards the tangle of wires, trying very poorly to evade the grip of the Dreamer sent after her. The Dreamer stopped and looked upwards, along with the rest of the Dreamers in the room, towards the small object caught in the collection of cables. Illuminated by the orange glow of the projected Pakari, Zippy’s expression dropped in horror as the blank, reflective eyes of Tott’s cold visage appeared to glow a bright orange.

“N-No. How did he… He DIED!” Zippy bellowed at the static figure nestled above. “I SAW the tower fall! He’s DEAD!! You’re DEAD!! You HAVE to be!” His hologram sank away from the tiny figure, shrinking in size as it did so. All the Dreamers chattered their jaws in retaliation of the wooden puppet’s existence, unaware that Racie had slipped away and Gofers was bracing himself.

“How did you know. HOW DID YOU K-” Zippy spun around, but Racie had disappeared. At the same moment, Gofers threw his weight forward, dragging both Dreamers off their feet and smashing them into each other. The gunk-lathered leviathan bellowed and swung about, but Gofers rolled and scooped up the dismembered arm of his superior, pressing the limp finger into a chip of debris and writing out a word as the massive jaws of the monster smashed past him and through more equipment.

“You really think you’re something because of that?” AI snapped, his littler hologram floating higher into the air. “It’s not about what other people think you are, or how much of an impact you make, but why you do it. Some people are headlines, Zippy, and some of them are just footnotes, but you’re not even a quotation mark in your own story.”

“I have power!” Zippy growled, growing in size again to loom over the spherical silver device even as Gofers ate the piece of rubble he had scrawled on and bellowed green flames. “I AM POWER!! How can I possibly be anything less than the main man here? I am KING!

The bellow of pain from the eternally-frowning fish brought the artificial intelligence’s attention back to the present. Gofers had carved through his teeth with fiery hands, kicked him into the air, and sent a burning green heel straight through his body, which seared and bubbled from the impact, melting off in either direction as the dreaming Winger lay inside its now open maw, otherwise unharmed. The lights grew even dimmer.

“What did-” Zippy looked back at the computer terminal, as Racie had bloodied her knuckles smashing off the cover and had clearly done some tinkering. “I can’t- No. I can’t be done. This can’t be over so soon. I had everything… I had it all… and…

“And now?” AI loomed over the shrinking form of the police operations artificial intelligence unit and unofficial mascot of the local law enforcement, who kicked back up his energy one last time. “I can’t have been beaten by anyone! Who are you- WHO ARE YOU??!?

The smaller light loomed with a scowl.

“No one in particular.”

Ch 14

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an appearance years overdue

I had originally planned to introduce another user in this chapter, but I decided one user who had been shunned repeatedly throughout the course of the books deserved to finally make his real appearance. Welcome home nerd :sunglasses:

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That was amazing.

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What an absolute ghamer

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Woah it’s N01

Neat chapter

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well yes it is n01 but there is still no explanation as to what

means

also, the silly little ai guy seems a bit nicer than he used to

though I guess he was being controlled by eilrach or something idk i’m not smart enough for these books

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maybe the restart button made him nicer

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He’s now Steve Jobs defending Apple against allegations…

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patience lacroixdax, he just got here

man’s got a lot of explaining to do about a lot of things

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I have a theory that traykar will appear in the next chapter and atobe will appear in the chapter after that :sunglasses:

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I didn’t sign up for BoT but Cordax has great ideas, Ghiddy :sunglasses:

Edit

oh wait
YOoo I’m in BoT!
I completely forgot that I signed up xD

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