The Book of Tears | ARMAGHIDDON

James is forced to take part in an anatomy class
And Hammond takes a sweet afternoon nap

FiVE NIgHtS aT FrEDdY’S {sick jazzy trumpet} Is this where you wanna be? I JuST dOn’t GeT iT {sick jazzy trumpet} Why do you want to stay?

image

Though I fixed five other typos in my post, so

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okay :goo:

This is a canon event now :smirk:

I already have Skrunkler, Human Renner and the actual Renner V8, and if we count each version of the MOC as a separate character, we’ll be looking at a pretty impressive lineup

“Never bet your money on a sick horse. And by sick horse I mean a puddle of ghid” - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

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Well

I decided that “a few silhouettes” can’t be just Krelikan and Winger, and I figured that there must be more people

listen man, don’t ask me, ask Tott. He’s the one who came up with this idea, not me :dizzy_face:

I actually read this reply before reading the chapter and didn’t notice any of the puns first time around because it was very early in the morning and I didn’t wake up fully yet


Chapter yes

I assume this is what Gofers is actually doing. Not really sure where he is going. Maybe he is heading towards the Dome from BoD to get something or someone. This is the only place that I can think of for now.

Though he might be heading towards his favourite spanish restaurant for all I know

Man you aren’t giving me many clues about who that is. I’ve got nothing to work off of :pensive:

I might be forgetting something, but when did he manage to lose one of the Axelford guns?

So, Monopoly’s body can simply pull itself together after being damaged. That’s rather unfortunate. Since his torso getting ripped in half didn’t kill him, the thing that gives this body life is elsewhere. I wonder if destroying the head orb is going to get the job done

Ever single this power was revealed, I knew that the fact that the armour was not infinite and needed time to shift could be abused by a smart enough opponent. I guess this is finally coming into play :smirk:

Renner’s dead

IMG_4164

That was a rather disheartening experience for him. Heartbreaking even. He should have followed his heart at that moment and he would have avoided it. I really hope he’ll have a change of heart soon, as his current behaviour is rather heartless. To be honest I didn’t expect him to be the type of guy to wear his heart on his sleeve, but here we are

I guess he is… half the man he used to be

Okay so this puddle of ghid is essentially a mobile pocket dimension. Very convenient for surprise attacks. I really underestimated this guy.

I should have figured that a guy whose whole shtick is being immortal can’t be killed.
But I don’t think that he’s the secret weapon that AI was babbling about last chapter, because the armoured Ghid got overwhelmed by Renner, and we know how Renner stacks up against Monopoly. He might serve as a nice distraction to keep Monopoly busy for a while though. He might not pose that much of a threat to Monopoly, but his immortality will be a pain to deal with

Anyways, I give this chapter seven botched open heart surgeries out of ten and a half puddles of Ghid. It was rather delicious, didn’t even eat

Everyone deserves a glow up, but life gives you lemons (and sometimes a gaping hole where your heart should be :goo:)

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This is one of the most epic phrases I’ve read this year.

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I already have that >:[

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Ch 24

Chapter 25

It seemed as though Ghidrius was the one who truly failed to grasp, as the moment he slung his quip Monopoly spun his body with all his might, wrenching the sword from his hand. Ghidrius stood surprised for just a moment too long, as Monopoly closed the gap with a crushing tackle, pinning him against the wall and coming very close to skewering him on his own sword. Jethryn had the better reflexes, jumping up and off the wall before Monopoly impacted his target, before landing on the ground next to Renner to inspect the damage.

I suddenly had a concerning thought, and as Ghidrius kicked Monopoly off of himself while Krelikan finally intervened with more pointless gunfire, I remembered something kind of important. The kind of thing that could drastically change the outcome of the fight, the kind of thing that could hurt everyone in the room if they weren’t careful. And if my timing was right…

“Everyone out!” I barked as best I could, somewhat taken aback at how weak my voice was. Monopoly took the opportunity to make a break for the door, but Ghidrius grabbed the handle of his blade with his free hand, halting his advance. Jethryn and Krelikan decided not to waste time finding out if I was misleading them or not, and both hurriedly retreated, Jethryn somewhat slower as he carried the unresponsive Renner.

Ghidrius gripped Monopoly’s shoulder as he pulled him further towards the guard of the blade. “You were the fiend we heard about.” His head sputtered out, staying on his neck purely by balancing on it. “The great evil we were called to defeat. That I am sure of.”

Monopoly replied to this monologue by slamming his elbow into the pit of Ghidrius’ stomach, toppling the head from off its stump. This prompted Ghidrius to drop the sword and begin trying to calculate its position on the ground, allowing Monopoly ample time to push the blade right out of his body. Seeing his target about to leave, however, Krelikan rushed forwards and grappled him, multiple blades springing out of his body and stabbing at his form. They did nothing at all, but it’s the thought that counts.

The response was very difficult to discern, as in a manner very contrary to his entire being, Monopoly began punching Krelikan’s body. I know, you probably didn’t see that one coming, did you? It was denting and deforming him, but not efficiently enough, and so Monopoly smashed his fists together with Krelikan’s neck in between, making it so there was no more Krelikan neck in between. And that’s when it hit.

The ceiling of the room, the other sewer passages above, and the street on the surface all exploded from the unbridled might of Gofers’ return. The force of the blast shot debris into the room, most of it positively ruining the furniture and the visible electronics, and a particularly large piece knocking Ghidrius flat. His head was knocked forwards, rolling to a stop in front of Diero’s gun, which began trying to suppress a scream.

Nothing had managed to do any real damage to Monopoly, but it battered him pretty bad, as he was left panting on one knee, trying to determine if anything else was happening. Gofers blatantly stood, brushing himself off, looking about to see what everyone was cowering in fear for.

“Is Winger here? I got the- ULP!!” He suddenly covered the front of his hips with his hands. “E-excuse m-me, everyo-one.” Sidling away, he ducked behind the ruined couch, peeking out through a large hole in the middle. “Where’s Wild at? Also who did this to the couch?

“Good greepers!” Wild’s peppy, over-the-top voice suddenly sounded from above. “I leave here for five minutes to help people out, and suddenly a massive meteor crashes through the whole- WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HE WAS HERE?!”

Why were you helping if we were supposed to stay hidd- Don’t yell at me!” Gofers replied with an offended air. “Couldn’t you have left just one spark of yours behind so it could keep watch? Isn’t that what you told me you did with that cider trip? Huh??

“…Oh right, duh. Whoopsie.”

“Dude.” Gofers crossed his arms and then ducked down again in fear that his bare ribs might be showing.

Monopoly had stopped moving, and I suspected it was because he had some prior experience fighting Wild if his story about the cider factory escapade was the truth. I also had no idea what exactly Wild was capable of, but I wouldn’t have to wait very long to find out, for as soon as Monopoly began to move Wild zipped down in front of his face and blasted the room with an utterly intolerable amount of heat.

The party around the doorway got even further from the fight as the air began to boil. It was clear from just this one attack that Wild was operating on a whole other level, one which maybe even Monopoly had not accounted for. But as the glowing speck drew closer to his glowing head, said glowing head snapped forward and engulfed the spark, in an instant cutting it off from existence.

“Bummer.” A voice spoke, this time from the top of the hole yet again. “I was kind of distracted with that, being in the moment and all. Well, what do you think?”

The black-armored elite officer and his orange-masked compatriot peered over the edge, framed by the ominous glow of a hundred sparks behind them. The former finally broke the silence, “Monopoly, you are under arrest for crimes innumerable. Come quietly or face immediate justice for your actions.”

Wordlessly Monopoly jumped up through the hole. Wordlessly Wild met him halfway, a dozen flaming lights carving tiny holes through his body. As he fell back towards the ground, Officer Bird lunged through the home, his massive fist greatly increasing the speed at which Monopoly’s limp body traveled. The brawler barely had time to recover before Bird decked him across the room again, Wild’s lights hovering in the air, waiting for another opportunity to lash out at him in brilliant fashion.

I craned my head around as best I could to see Diero slowly rise from the ground, uncreasing his hat with a scowl. He glanced at me before nodding towards someone else, which after I turned my head the other way I soon learned was Gofers, who reluctantly stood up from behind the couch and adjust a collar he didn’t have. The party had collected itself by the door again, Cordax in particular leaning forwards with eyes shining. A nod from me to Winger prompted him to snap his fingers, and Gofers tossed something silvery across the room, which Cordax caught with mouth agape and eyes seemingly growing with every breath.

“Gentlemen, let’s make this quick.” I wearily mumbled, although I hope the resolution in my voice carried through in spite of my weariness. It appeared to, as the trio began pounding on Monopoly relentlessly. Bird’s strikes did the majority of the damage, allowing Diero and Gofers to strike his sides while he was busy contending with Bird’s attacks.

Nevertheless, even being turned into swiss cheese was not enough to stop him. Gofers was not quite as experienced as the other two, and strayed too close to Monopoly, who quickly grabbed his skull and swung him about, decking Bird momentarily and allowing him to focus on Diero. The deadsperado swept Monopoly’s leg, but Monopoly followed up by landing on one knee and dragging Diero down with him. Gofers was slamming his hands against Monopoly’s wrist in an attempt to free himself, and Monopoly eventually grabbed Diero by the neck, rising painfully to his feet.

“I expected this to be over a little sooner than it was.” Monopoly spoke, sticking Gofers’ face inside his own head and dropping the waffle wimp to the ground. “I don’t think you’ll be doing much else, however. Now tell your little glowing friend that if he doesn’t want me tearing into everyone in the hall-”

Too late, as Wild took the opportunity to send his sparks towards Monopoly’s extended arm, slicing through the middle of his forearm and freeing Diero. The lights then swirled around him, punching hole after hole in his body, eventually drawing reactionary noises of pain from him, which slowly turned into gurgles and sputtering as passages in his body overflowed with black liquid. I felt my arm slowly free itself as the surrounding tissue slowly dissolved from the intense heat, and as I slipped out and hit the floor the sparks suddenly began gaining speed, carving through anything and everything until, in a blinding flash, there wasn’t so much as a scrap of fabric left of the brawler.

“Well, I was hoping to save this party trick for another day.” The glowing sphere said, the room slowly turning blue as he glowed bright. “But I think it’s high time I started using my head.”

Ch 25

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Tonight on Top Gear
I have a falling out with a local
James ends up a little more holy
And Hammond barely contributes

We're really quite surprised that you came to see us another night You should have looked for another job You should have said to this place goodbye (soft trumpet section)

https://board.ttvchannel.com/uploads/db5640/original/4X/c/8/c/c8ccb94b098103a57d145cb170bb985d8a011a8e.gif

:cookie: :raised_hand:
:fist:
:yawning_face:
:smirk:
:pregnant_woman:

And Racie, and Cordax, and Renner…

accurate Ghid impression

BRUH MAYBE TRY DECIPHERING THE PART I TOLD YOU TO AAAAAAAAAAAA

me when the theorizer doesn’t theorize based off the hints I actually give him (this is me rn: :dizzy_face:)

:smirk:

I guess there’s only one way to find out :goo:

Renner when his miracle armor forgot to defy the laws of reality

https://c.tenor.com/udjVCycPYcAAAAAd/tenor.gif

Did you not discern this when he enveloped Tott and moved him across the room a while back? :imp:

Alright welp since things have been revealed in this chapter I guess I might as well explain it since you won’t ding it up for yourself :dizzy_face:

Diero got dumped in the other dimension when Monopoly came through. However, we haven’t seen a Dreamer there who’s actually conscious of things, as Zippy’s dreamers weren’t the same as Diero and Gofers. We know that Dreamers and their associated Dreams can do just about anything when needed, so when Renner pulled up Wild Card, there wasn’t anything stopping him from just popping right back into reality.

As for the heaviest hitter, I think the chapter makes it pretty clear who that is.

Make gaping holeade :goo:

all the what

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well this was a fun chapter now wasn’t it

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Me when Rukah clearly read the chapter (his insightful commentary clearly shows how much he enjoyed it with all the instances he cited :goo:)

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monopoly dies :goo:

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Ch 25

Technical Difficulties

“I know it’s a bit rude for me to talk back, sir,” Diero mumbled against my skull. “But I love Christmas.”

It’s possible he said something else as well, but I couldn’t tell - his head was pressed against the roof of the sleigh and Racie was making obnoxious gasping noises to illustrate her discomfort with having Diero’s presents crushing her stocking. It wasn’t much better for me, as most of Diero’s gifts was pushing me into the tree, who in turn was flattening Cordax against the fruitcake. And to top it all off, I was feeling just claustrophobic enough to find everything VERY festive.

It’s enough to force someone to go to his humbug place until it all ends. Except I don’t have a humbug place. Or a humbug anything.

“You’re going to crack my candy cane!” Winger wailed.

GASP!” Racie repeated. “GASP! GASP!

“I can’t feel my third arm!” Cordax complained, drawing the attention of everyone in the vehicle. “Guys, it’s a joke. I don’t have a third arm. Can you stop looking at me like that? It isn’t making being festive any easier.”

GASP!

“Would you all please be merry?!” The officer in the blue Pakari almost begged, gripping the wheel in christmas cheer. “I absolutely do not get paid enough to deal with you grinches, so have a merry christmas! We’re almost to the city. From there I’ll take you to the north pole and you can all have a nice sleep in santa's workshop, with plenty of room!”


The Chronicler mused silently for a moment, his odd head tilting back and forth curiously. “Perhaps it would help for you to list off things that you are decidedly joyous of. Facts, places, things, people… Things you know for certain do bring joy and do not rely on a possibly grinchy memory.”

So you thought for a moment. Things, what things… Your eyes involuntarily closed and thoughts filled your head, thoughts about christmas and presents, frozen snowmen and snow-covered fields, ominous milk and cookies and contraptions of sleigh, the starry night sky and the warmth of the fire.

The fire

Your eyes flew back open and your mouth grew into a smile of christmas cheer, but it dropped into undisguised amazement at the sight which now lay before your pupils. snowy hills sloped and curved across a massive snowbank, leading to a festive forest surrounding the base of a north pole taller than it was wide. Atop the peak sat a fully-decorated christmas tree, bow pointed directly at the sky, suspended in place by lights and tinsel. The sun proclaimed the blue sky far above.

“WHAT.” You retorted to this series of events. “How did- I don’t- WHAT-”

“This is your christmas, mister Tomorrow.” The Chronicler chuckled. “Now shall we get merry?”


“I am Santa.”

The whole room turned to look at Santa, me, as my body remained stuck in place, affixed by the candy cane to the wall through the sleigh which dashed through the hills, caused by that festivity so long… No, it was christmas eve. Goodness, my sense of cheer is all messed up with everything happening constantly.

“I hired Monopoly to go to the toy factory after my first elf went to ensure the christmas radio song was justified.” I tried so hard to keep my voice from singing off in holiday cheer, but the feeling of the entire world singing of Christ's birth isn’t exactly a humbug one. “I only later found out the jolly fellow had dragged my son directly into the grinch’s way, almost housing him in the same festive chamber which either gifted Pakari or cherished him so much he caroled soon after.”

Pakari looked at his presents in disbelief, even more sure this was some kind of absurd gift as I continued. “I tried to go find Monopoly and deliver his presents, but I was dragged into your christmas party trying to find Cordax. You found my old tree in the dark wall, which I built as a prototype to this one, and the original Santa design without the artificial cheer I built into this one.”


Santa is ALIVE.” Renner hissed. “Diero, I need to reestablish your Dreams again and then I’m going to have you send so many presents-

“That’s the jolly thing.” Diero continued, shielding his eyes from Sonus, who heard presents get mentioned and found himself curious. “Before Santa saw Santa- No, after he saw him, okay Santa saw the nice list and then gave me orders to throw a present to the moon and gift all of them.”

“THEY’RE COMING HERE?!?!

Diero’s neck retracted as far down between his shoulders as it physically could, his knees bending to get away from Renner’s festive face. “Man I do not like it when you stand on your toes to try and see Santa.

“GET BACK TO THE Tree!!!” Renner roared, the ship turning about sharply and making speed towards the joyous christmas tree just in time to enter a hail of carols from below. Everyone on deck moved astern aside from Renner and the Chronicler, both being festive too merrily to allow any tinsel to awe them.

“Looks like the welcome party came a little soon,” Renner quipped as a snowball knocked the pumpkin pie out of his hand, which he quickly snatched back up and placed atop his presents. “Can someone find out if there’s any caroling down there?”

“Well tomorrow, I don’t think there’s any sort of is that a gift?” The Chronicler glanced quizzically at the rectangle flying through the air towards the ship. Diero quickly jumped in front of Renner, but with no written command the present easily gifted both him and his boss off the ship and down into the city below.


The presents on the opposite end of the room suddenly appeared. Bolting over and leaving Winger to struggle upwards on his own, Cordax jumped and strained his legs until he managed to grab the edge, pulling himself up and looking in to see gifts, face-down in mostly paper packaging, all neatly wrapped.

Overjoyed, Cordax pulled a gift up and stood appalled at it immediately falling back down in. “Something’s wrong with my gift!” Cordax pulled at his present, but Winger’s hand dragged him back.

“Something’s wrong with your christmas spirit.” Winger breathed, a pine branch serving very merrily as a wreath. “She could have a present, and we have to be careful with the gifts. My spirit is lifted like nothing else, so I think we’ll have to wait here until she gets up on her own.”

He slumped down next to the tree, leaning against it and feeling his present in anticipation. Cordax joined him after a short taste of the eggnog as he climbed out of the refrigerator, coming to the mind-boggling conclusion that it did not taste grinchy at all. “What’s going on?”

“Well, Cordax,” Winger said, looking back upwards as a large flying red sleigh began delivering gifts that were flying through the air. “I’d say it’s the beginning of christmas.”

Ch 26

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incredible

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What was he doing in a refrigerator to begin with??

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tasting the eggnog of course :roll_eyes:

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Ch 25

Chapter 26

It was like looking up at the sun, a sphere radiating pure blue light, except unlike the warmth of the sun radiating and shining on all things, it was a cold, callous light, whose heat burned and tore at anyone subjected to it without any of the joy or splendor.

And there was a terror, too, because this ominous blue sun had rejected its proper place and descended, not to increase the warmth shared with all around it, but to kill the entire world if it could.

If he could.

And if was beginning to seem like an inaccurate assessment, as the moment the color of the room changed, the dozen or so Wild sparks flew in and attempted, while radiating with the most intense of heat, to pierce the perfect sphere. And, in a instant, all of them were vaporized inside the glowing orb.

“Oh.” Wild observed from above, concern coursing through his voice. “That’s bad.”

The oozing Ghid sprung suddenly up from the floor, attempting to engulf the sphere, but a sphere-shaped void soon appeared in his middle. The substance quickly retreated into the gaps between the bricks, eager to escape any further damage.

“Ghid.” The sphere loomed overhead, eyeing me dangerously. “You can’t do anything now, you’re lost and alone. No way you can save yourself, no way you can kill me. Oh, but please have your entourage try as best as possible, because either way I’m killing all of them before I deal with you.”

“Everybody move!” Diero growled, firing a succession of shots at the sphere so quickly it resembled automatic gunfire. The shots were not aimed at Monopoly so much as they were aimed at the neon sign, which while inoperable still contained much of the flammable substance necessary to make them run. Both he and Gofers cleared the room fast, although Bird was not as swift, being trapped on the other side of Monopoly’s floating head. Indecisive, he stood in place eyeing the room right up to the glowing sphere making contact with the gases.

The resulting ball of flame I worried might light my body on fire, but it was just out of range. However, it proved an incredible smokescreen, as the two Dreamers tore out of the room with little to no trace of their path of departure, and the two doorways instantly began to change position as the room itself began violently tipping around.

“I bet you didn’t expect this to happen.” Wild’s voice seemed to emanate from every surface. “Now you’ll never be able to determine how to get out. I’ll have you so turned around you’ll be lost for hours.”

Monopoly said nothing, floating in the middle of the room as it revolved around him. Ghidrius’ body fell free of the debris it was trapped under and plummeted towards the former ceiling, only for the goopy Ghid to suddenly seep back up and collect the falling body before any real harm could occur. He disappeared a moment after, of course, and was unable to reach Ghidrius’ head in time, as it rolled about the room and ran into furniture.

Bird moved with the room, climbing over the bolted-down furniture in order to keep his distance from Monopoly, who acted thoroughly absorbed. He eventually timed the gap in the ceiling with the gap in the street above and jumped out, just avoiding getting his legs broken off by the rotating architecture. I felt the darkness crawl over my eyes briefly, and I pushed all my effort into remaining intact, pushing my senses beyond the limitations I had placed on myself.

The words of those beyond the room became clearer and clearer, as the hum of the movement quickly turned into white noise I was easily able to block out entirely. Renner was awake somehow, that much I could gather, and he was being rapidly brought up to speed by Winger, who was also instructing Gofers to carry Racie a little more carefully as the party ran for their collective lack of a life.

“But how did my armor know to make an artificial heart?” Renner asked, perplexed.

“It took some work,” Racie admitted. “But after watching what AI had invented in the prior fight, I figured out how to ‘tell’ the armor what needed repairing. It’s got your entire circulatory system figured out now, and probably your whole biological makeup as well. Heck, it might even know you down to the atomic level.”

“How… Reassuring.” Renner’s voice implied he was trying his absolute best to look pleased with that unsettling development. “Anyway, Winger, you’re gonna want to write and write fast. Establish a Dream or two with your Dreamer so we can have an edge in this fight, as I don’t know that anything Diero has can touch him.”

“Not likely.” Monopoly’s voice broke in, as the sound of boots skidding against concrete sounded in unison. “It’s very funny how that flying apostrophe thought tipping the room around would make me lose track of you all. Now, shall we make this interesting?”

My eyes cleared like lightning. The room was empty, mostly dark, and from what I could tell, upside-down. The head of Ghidrius lay in the corner, his eyes watching me through the slits in his helmet. He may have been able to tell I was still alive from my sudden head movement, but I would have to assuage his fears later.

As my focus once again increased, I heard the sickening sound of metal regurgitating itself. Or at least that’s what I imagined happening; I had no idea that it was the sound of miracle armor being eaten out of reality.

“Let that be a lesson for all of you.” Monopoly spoke, even as something zipped past him fast enough to hiss as it soared through the air. “The next time I remove someone’s heart I expect to see it gone the next time I look.”

He dodged Wild Card.” Cordax whispered. “What do we do. We can’t do anything against this.

“Well now, you’re starting to get the picture after all.” Monopoly chuckled. “I have to hand it to you, Cordax, you’re turning out sharper than I expected. Maybe that’s what stomping you into a fine paste was meant for, y’know? I wonder if breaking Winger into a dozen pieces has given him a quicker reaction speed.”

Winger, whose single hand had been writing on something this whole time, started babbling incoherently at the mention of his being broken into a dozen pieces. "But I… Why d- I don’t… Why do I … Remember this? "

Unfortunately, the second half of Monopoly’s sentence had not quite registered, and with a vheeeoosh the sphere darted forwards, followed immediately after by a BANG which shook the entire room. I snapped back into the room I was in, dreading the blood-curdling scream that must have followed. But as no sound cracked the stone walls which imprisoned me, I refocused and heard the furious cry of a Dreamer, one significantly less experienced than Diero.

“Where did you get that.” Monopoly bluntly inquired, his voice flat with annoyance. “And… Why is everyone else on the floor…?”

“Like it?” Gofers replied, his voice shaky but enthusiastic. “Part of Winger’s instructions were to make an indestructible sombrero by any means necessary. And there’s plenty of Dreamers lying about on the street, which can be woven apart at the atomic level to make them into a faux-straw of sorts, and weave-”

Another vheeeoosh occurred, but this time was followed by a SMACK. “And the second part,” Gofers spoke again, this time having his speech imply a gigantic smirk. “To not let you hurt Winger here.”

“Nothing - absolutely nothing - can resist me like this.” Monopoly retorted. It was less anger and more stating a scientific fact, like if you called the sky green.

“Sure about that?” Gofers’ jaw was practically breaking with the size of the smile he implied. A number of footsteps occurred, presumably the present group running away as I could hear the impossible sound of Diero somehow sucking air through a cigar. The sounds that followed were impressive; a blue sphere ducking and diving with futuristic ambience followed by the blunt reality of four bony fists smashing into it over and over was impressive to listen to, and eventually Renner’s voice broke in on the scene, shouting out the Wild Card command and the fading cries of Jethryn’s protesting the action filling in the void where a crowd might have been cheering the pair of boneheads along.

And then there was another sound - the sickening noise I described before, but followed by a splattering sound much akin to when Renner became just as heartless as me. After that, a thud, and then silence.

The nice change of pace was broken by Cordax landing on top of me. “Ghid,” he began, but evidently heard something and rushed a whisper. “I have to be hidden! I got told on the way; don’t reveal me!

He scurried off and ducked behind a piece of the couch, which had broken off the rest of it and fallen to the ceiling. The room lit up in a blue blaze once more as Monopoly reappeared, phasing directly through the wall and stopping for a moment to hover above me.

“Where is he.” Monopoly began, not giving me remotely enough time to respond. “I mean that viscous visage of yours, the one that just killed Cordax.”

“I don’t see how that would concern you.” I sneered, my voice suddenly losing strength and requiring me to pump more effort into using it. “You killed him before and enjoyed every second of it.”

“Enjoyed?” Monopoly snarled. “You selfish egotist, it’s what you did to him that forced me to kill him, to turn myself into the villain and alienate him from me. I haven’t had any other friend in existence aside from him, and he meant the entire world to me. Sure, I was rough to him at first, but in the end, he was the only one I actually cared about at all.” His speech was seemingly having the side effect of slowing Cordax down, as the little gremlin had advanced with knife in hand to attack the sphere, but now stood just in front of his previously safe and concealing cover, looking up at the glow with as gullible a mouth-agape stare could possibly be. “I nearly broke both my ankles and was willing to let myself die to ensure his safety, and you turned him against me before I even had the chance to go back to my home.”

“You’re the villain here.” He growled. “You’ve ruined the only friendship I’ve ever had and made me kill him once - and now you’re forcing me to do it again. I cared for him, and of course you wouldn’t have any idea what that means for anyone.

You really mean it?” Cordax inquired, his voice almost angelic in its childlike softness. Instantly Monopoly traveled in a very tight circle, carving a massive gash through Cordax’s stomach before completing the circle to end up exactly where he was before. “Of course I knew that Ghid glop was a portal. I don’t know how you invented that little number, but he’s been proving very annoying. In the time I was fighting those two numbskulls he managed to gobble up everyone in the entire group and whisk them all away. But I knew you couldn’t keep Cordax hidden from me. You’re minimally smart, Ghid, but you’re overall just an idiot.”

“Now where are the others? What guarantee is there that your sentient sludge stops working if you’re dead?” He loomed in closely, even as a mortified Cordax finished inspecting the massive hole in the stomach of his hoodie which had left the Cordax underneath unscathed and allowed the prepubescent naivety to melt away into a white-hot rage. “Because I can promise you, this won’t end up in your favor. You’ve got no one now.”

“Actually,” I wheezed, looking past the floating sphere in satisfaction. “I think that’s the only person I don’t have.”

“RUKAH!!”

Monopoly turned and darted at Cordax, whose hand was stretched over his head in a dramatic wind-up to jam the knife into the ball-shaped brawler’s glowing noggin. But he ducked under towards the pint-size problem’s stomach just a little too quickly to see Cordax holding the knife not in his raised hand, but inside the hoodie itself, positioned over his stomach, his off sleeve hanging loosely while his real arm held the knife securely in place.

A flash occurred that was so bright I think it could’ve been seen through the other side of the planet. I already knew it could be seen from further beyond.

Ch 26

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Ooh fun I get to kill Monopoly

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Me when I need to do a triple chapter review: festive edition

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Memories broken the truth goes unspoken I’ve even forgotten my name

Cordax was already in the room with Tott, Renner was the person who was “flanked by a few silhouettes” and Racie isn’t real :dizzy_face:

you can’t gaslight me into believing that you’re a good writer, Ghid :triumph:

Sometimes foreshadowing is relatively obvious

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There it wasn’t obvious that something supernatural happened. It just seemed like he simply carried Tott across the room because Tott isn’t that big. There was no sign that he could carry objects that are bigger than himself

I hope the devs don’t patch this dreamer teleportation glitch in the next update, it is very useful

A character who didn’t have any relevance whatsoever before this moment and beat up Monopoly with next to no buildup. Remember what people in vodka say about pianos and bushes?

that’s just a fancy way to say smoothie out of Renner’s heart :anatomical_heart:

Somehow Rukah is able to see one character into the future, which is why he never writes any theories. What is the point when you already know what’s going to happen next


Chapter 5^2

I called it, I guess???

I guess it’s time to pat myself on the back for a yet another successful theory :sob:

As we already know, restoring him is just the matter of moving the chip to a different body, so he’s probably going to be fine

So wait, what Gofers did here is jump very high and then gravity did the rest of the job?

It just occurred to me that Wild knew these two personally from the events of BoR (it’s been quite a while since I last mentioned it), so it would make sense for him to lead them there. So that’s where he disappeared for the last ten-ish chapters

At first I was surprised that Bird deals more damage here, but then I remembered that his armour has some kind of special coating or something that allows him to even deal with Dreamers, plus neither Diero nor Gofers are powered by dreams right now, so their attacks aren’t as devastating.

Plot hole evaded :pensive:

If Wild always had this trick up his metaphorical sleeve, why did he never use it? It would surely be useful in the fight against Zippy, for instance

I think the using my head pun has been utilized in this book at least once in the past. 0/10. Cringe

Chapter christmas

My thorough analysis of the christmas special

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Now that the festive activity has been taken care of, we shall proceed to the next chapter

Chapter aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

How is he doing this exactly? Is this some sort of magic that Wild can do now for some reason or is it a special room that was built to be able to rotate?

Is this Monopoly somehow deleting Renner’s magic armour? He can do that?

This whole section up to this point has been quite bad to the bone

I’m not quite sure why Jethryn would be protesting it though… is he just not happy that Renner is still here and not running away?

Of course we don’t get to find out what happened here :dizzy_face:

I assume both dreamers just got divided by zero, that’s the only option I see

Heh

N01 joke

Cordax using his head for once. I guess getting stomped into a fine paste did make him smarter

It’s nice to see that Cordax is the one to deal the final blow to Monopoly. He probably deserves to do it the most, considering what he has been through.

also I find it poetic that Monopoly went out like a true brit, stabbed with a knife :smirk:


Alright, I give these chapters hey look Wild finally appeared out of ten, and I can’t even read

I finally did it, now give me more cringe to tear apart :sunglasses:

Man why would you steal Cordax’s credit like that?

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Well I suppose it was a joint effort :thinking:

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:dizzy_face:

This is like claiming that my chapter reviews are a joint effort between me and my keyboard. Clearly, the keyboard does 100% of the job, and I just close my eyes and frantically press random buttons for an hour, hoping that something barely discernible comes out

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Ch 26

Chapter 27

Only briefly did I see the figure, an infinite void of blue and black, pulsating with life, as if the two forces were intertwined on a galactic scale, each vying for dominance on whatever lay beyond. The blue glowed almost white, and the black seemed to seep the light away into nothingness, but both forces were contained between the complex arrangement of a thousand silvery shards, all arranged in the vague shape of a man, who floated now in the air about Monopoly’s vibrating skull.

Wordlessly it glanced at me, its face comprised of five major points emerging from the center, not arranged into a star but more of a mask of sorts. It looked down at me, two particularly bright points functioning as eyes, glowing from in between gaps in the mask. I couldn’t tell if it was a look of resolution or pity.

Turning towards Cordax, who now stood frozen in fear at the entity before him, it reached out and gently took the knife from his quivering fingers, the weapon traveling along its form until it found a gap in its chest and nestled itself inside. The figure slowly extended further and touched the electronic visor which comprised the flaxen fellow’s eyes, lighting them up to a violent degree.

The next second, it was gone, no trace of its presence visible save for the clearly damaged Monopoly skull, which faded more and more until, with a violent SNAP, it disappeared. There was a moment of absolute silence, and then Cordax suddenly dropped down, out of view. I craned my neck around, but I was pretty confident I knew what happened.

The room began to shift one final time, and I decided to grab onto something this time around, but as I reached for the nearest bolted piece of furniture I was appalled at how slowly my arm was moving - far too slowly to reach it in time. My grasping hand eventually did collide with something, which I wrapped myself around as best I could, but it was not secured to anything else, and so I tumbled about with little awareness as to which side of the room I was on at any given moment.

Eventually the room came to a halt, and I wearily looked down at what I had grasped. It was the uncomfortably pointy helmet of Ghidrius, whose heavily concealed eyes glowed out from their individual slits now with the light of resolution, evidently a witness to events that had just unfolded. Something stirred in the corner of my vision, and I turned towards Gofers, who was blubbering and dragging both the unresponsive body of Diero and the decapitated body of Renner into the room, Renner’s head nestled in Gofers’ elbow.

“And- and I can’t find Winger anywhere and I’m mortified and I don’t know what to d-do , w-what do I d-d-” He continued stuttering, earning a little bit of a glare from me. But truth be told, I was pretty mortified at seeing the argent agitator with a spherical cutout where his collar bone was supposed to be. Several more voices began chiming in, and I realized the mucky mimic had reappeared with the full entourage in tow, which was now piling out into the small room which I was beginning to question just how the whole fight had been contained here.

“I don’t know- I don’t know what to do.” Gofers’ voice began to plummet, not in volume but in the will to live that lay behind it. “I couldn’t even see him move. He was so fast, so very… Where is he? Is he still here? He’s not still here, is he?”

“Gone.” Cordax replied, still staring straight forward. His eyes eventually refocused, and he was drawn back into reality. “I just… saw… Oh, no-”

Cordax’s abject horror at Renner’s circumstance was interrupted by his loving stomach, which had decided to whisper in sweet words to go over in the corner and loudly empty its contents onto the floor. Instead of realizing and giving credence to the situation everyone in the room did the immensely unpolite thing and glared at Cordax as he did this.

“Please don’t rotate the room again until that’s cleaned up.” Gofers swallowed, somehow, I have no idea how these stupid skeletons do half the things they do. “Now uh, what do we do? I don’t know if there’s a way to-”

Winger emerged from the Ghid glop, instantly writing on his shoulder in barely-identifiable words. You go ahead and write on your shoulder and tell me you can do any better. Anyway, Gofers’ flapping jaw had his shoulder shoved in it, and he barely was able to close his jaws on the cloth before his eyes burst into flame, reeling the rest of him back in a furious roar. Dropping Diero, he stacked Renner’s head on his neckless body and slammed a flaming fist directly through the hole.

Pulling it out in dramatic fashion, I could feel eyebrows I didn’t have raise in admiration as the action of drawing his fist back out completely restored the hole it passed through. “That was weird.” Gofers said, looking at his hand in disbelief while his other hand still held Renner by the skull. “Why is my hand still-”

“It’s flaming because you aren’t done.” Winger replied, busy trying to wipe the writing off his shoulder in vain. “Do it again. And I think you know where.”

With a quick nod, Gofers punched through the mechanical heart which had reformed, and the moment he drew his balled-up hand back out, Renner broke into a frenzied fit, swatting at the hand holding his skull until he was dropped in surprise on the floor. “Diero! Don’t let him n- uhh,” He looked around at the destroyed environment. “Where’s the, uh… Hmm. Is everyone alright? Did we win?”

I tried to cough, but nothing happened. No lungs will do that to you, I suppose. “Everyone will be.” I eventually replied, after Renner failed to take the hint from everyone turning to look at me. “In a little while, everyone will be.

The room of people did me the immense disservice of crowding around me and getting as close as possible. Winger looked down at my now absent left side, too horrified to say anything, which I responded to by pointing at his left shoulder, slowly breaking into a flimsy laugh as the irony of the situation dawned on me.

“There must be something.” Winger’s voice barely remained at normal volume while my emotionally racked laugh died into wooden clicks emanating from the remainder of my artificial lungs. “You can’t die here. We could… AI, there’s a way to turn people into AI, maybe we could-”

“Of course!” Wild said, suddenly reappearing in the room from whatever mechanism he had been inhabiting. “Gofers, that shelf behind you- the drawer with the AI units, please!” The glowing speck verbally patted himself on the back as his accomplice in homelessness unlocked the drawer and dug about. “These babies have a range of sixty feet and can turn anyone dying in that radius into an AI that can live forever. I’m also pretty sure the cops standing on the other side of that hole in the ceiling will arrest us for having them as they defy several conventions, but that’s really only gonna be a problem for bony boy over there, since I can’t be imprisoned.”

“Th-” Gofers began, before pausing to glare at Wild. “There’s one used one. I thought they were all new- ah, here’s one, brand-new, so let’s see if it works…”

I was looking despondently downwards even before Gofers flipped the switch. It buzzed to life, growing annoyingly loud before burning itself out. Winger looked between the device and me several times before a realization made his shoulders fall.

Ghid…

It’s okay.” I replied, my hand feebly extending and taking his. “I’ve overstayed my welcome regardless. Let the rest of the world know Ghid died, and if it pleases them to know, tell them he died small. It’ll help heal some of the wounds I’ve caused. But not all.” My eyes traveled to the stump of his shoulder, and he noticed the motion but refused to follow them.

“Please.” Winger’s voice trembled. “I’ve only just gotten to know you. Don’t go, Ghid. Not now, not so… So soon…”

I looked about at the rest of the people in the room. Racie, Renner, now Bird and Pakari had climbed down to observe. So many faces, horrible faces hiding extremely low intellects behind their ugly eyes, but hidden even further beyond that was a group of hearts so incredibly strong, emboldened by circumstance to reach even higher than the stars. Even Cordax had waddled up, now touching my shoulder, looking for some kind of escape I could take to avoid the fate I so richly deserved.

You have the keys of immortality in your hand.” I replied, and sensing his thought I slowly shook my head. “No, don’t use him now. It wouldn’t work on me anyway. I’ve been postponing the reaper for a lot longer than you’ve been alive, I… It’s time I payed some debts I’ve owed for a long, long time. I can’t run forever, I can’t make myself the villain forever without ever facing that final trumpet call.

Renner.” I eyed him not with any disappointment or disgust, but as an equal for perhaps the first time. “Take care of him. The world is a vast and horrible place… And he deserves so much better than what I’ve done. Please.

“You have my word.” His voice softly replied, a solemn nod following shortly after. “I won’t let you down.”

Cordax, that book…” I turned to his yellow visage, then nodded. “Read it sometime. It’s a lot more disappointing than you might imagine, mostly depressing, all of it penned by me.

No.” Winger nearly crushed my hand, desperation in his voice. “No. I’m not leaving you. Never. I’m not letting you go.”

You aren’t. You’re taking me with you wherever you go, a part of me, with a choice.” I replied, ignoring AI returning through the pipe in the ceiling and freezing at the sight of what was happening. “You have the ability to access a world where anything is possible… You have immortality at the hands of your Dreamer. You decide when you want me back, Winger. It’s your destiny to fulfill and your life to live. You decide when you’re ready.

And when you do, say the word. Send your Dreamer to collect me. I’ll be waiting.” Winger seemed to ignore the tone, reaching down and hugging me as best as one arm would allow. My free hand reached at the slowest pace possible to grasp Renner’s, who did his best to hide his shaking as he nodded once more.

Goodbye, everyone. I’ll see you in a while.

"…Heh, you could almost say this was the highest fall of………

Ch 28

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I quit liked that chapter. It was nice to see the aftermath of Monopony’s defeat.

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Racie you and I both know that you

somehow read all that in 0.5 seconds after posting and immediately got out a reply, well done

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