Well I mean I knew it was in Japan/Tokyo but why all of a sudden do they have to go there
Some influencing power, obviously, but what exactly I will leave for other people to decide
5 Likes
Oh cool, I just became a part of the story and I already killed 200 people 
5 Likes
–
Chapter Nineteen
Warm Blooded
–
“I don’t think there’s a sadder sight in all of Asahikawa.” Wild sighed, dusting off his suit with the back of his bruised hand.
“Eh, there’s not a lot of Asakiwhatever to go around, you know.” Tone crouched down, effortlessly lifting the barely conscious man off the ground by his collar. “In the running for sad sights, you’re judging a very small pool of entries.”
“Tone, not by the collar.” Wild stalked over, the crunch of broken glass under his shoes bringing some awareness to the badly beaten fellow. “You may recall us mentioning we’re here to see Takuya Kumagai, of the Kumagai clan, and that we’d break your ribs if you said no. You all there?” He gently shook the man’s head.
“…Makuei…” He weakly replied. “Not… Kumagai…”
“Boss, I think we’re better off just waltzing in at this point.” Tone shifted his grip from the man’s collar to the back of his suitcoat. “There’s no point in actually breaking his ribs if he’s too incoherent to tell us anything.”
Wild stood up with an expression that seemed to reveal how disappointed he was at the prospect of not breaking someone’s ribs. “Fine, leave him. The rest of them, too; the police will be swarming this area tomorrow, and I’d like to leave them all that I can.”
“They must’ve been alerted to the noise we made while doing this.” Tone dropped the man with no hesitation and slipped his hands back into his pockets. “Suppose they made it out of the building with all of this going on?”
The leader of the Renegade Masks looked at the heavily abused garage door, dented in a hundred different ways and stained with splashes of alcohol and gasoline. “I think Hie’s got it covered.”
“Then let’s not keep them waiting any longer.” Tone grimaced, his muscles tightening as he knew what would be happening next. Stalking to the door, Wild threw his shoulders back and took a deep breath. A burst of steam erupted from his body as he gripped the garage door, before throwing it upwards with enough force to rip it in half, crumpling both halves against the ceiling.
“The police will find it like that.” Tone sighed, touching his forehead in exasperation. “Why did you-”
“Move.” There was no arguing with Wild while he was under the influence of the Oni mask. The empty garage was crossed by the pair at the same speed, and Wild kicked the door in with the lightest effort.
The hall on the other side of the door was shockingly ornate compared to the rest of the building, but that was well within the Kumagai clan’s tastes; the elder patriarch adored all things ornamental. Another suited fellow waited at the end of the hall; he observed the pair, and without any sign of concern opened one of the heavy oak doors aside him, gesturing for the pair to enter.
Wild closed the distance with a massive stride and snatched the fellow up by the throat, but Tone sucked him out from his grip in an instant. “You said no kills, boss.” His steel-framed eyes met the solid, furious eyes of the Oni mask. “Let’s keep this consistent, shall we?”
“Incapacitate him.” Wild grumbled after a tense pause, passing through the open door. Tone lifted the fellow up and reeled back to punch him in the stomach, but there was a knowing presence in the fellow’s eyes which made him hesitate. Setting him back on his feet, he slowly turned and entered the room after Wild.
It was an impressive sight that awaited him. The room was practically coated in ornamental samurai armor and artwork, valuable sculptures stood flanking the red carpet which lead to a large and undoubtedly extremely heavy desk, and behind it, with seven katanas viciously skewered through his chest and into the ornate chair he was seated in, was the body of the former vice chairman of the Kumagai clan.
At his side, with his back to the pair, was an exceedingly tall bald man, casually flipping through the contents of a manila envelope. Wild had visibly restrained himself, but now that Tone had appeared by his side he lashed out, throwing one of the small statuettes closest to the door at the figure. It was interrupted in its flight by the handle of a katana, thrown from across the room, which ever so slightly changed its trajectory to smash into the opposite wall.
“You have your watchdog.” Oisim mumbled, closing the envelope and turning around to reveal his heavily tattooed face to the pair. As he set the envelope down on the desk, a heavily-built moustached man walked out from behind the open door, dropping a sheath taken from the ceremonial armor on the ground. He was dressed in a black suit, same as Makuei, and while he was not nearly as tall as his superior he was so bulky it made Oisim much less intimidating by comparison.
“This is mine.” Oisim grunted, gesturing with his hand to the muscular man, who folded his impossibly heavy arms and bowed his balding head to reveal a samurai-style topknot held in place by a pair of sai. “Goshiki. Step them forward.”
Goshiki gestured with a scowl set so deeply into his wide skull that it seemed to be part of his anatomy, were it not for the fat present in his face. In spite of the Oni mask the pair were compelled to move, although not very far, as Wild quickly whirled about to face the sound of footsteps echoing in the hall.
“Shusui Asagi, eyes of blood.” One of the men in the hall stepped out, nodding at Wild as he passed, his face eternally disinterested and his mouth puckered around a sodden cigarette. He paused halfway into the room and stood with his hands in his pockets, his mop of hair and formal attire significantly more disheveled than those of his compatriots.
“Shigon Bekko, hands of blood.” A very short man waddled past the pair, smiling up at them as he did so. His height was made up for by his puffy afro, and as he approached Shusui felt through his suitcoat before producing a small candy, which he offered in vain to his uninterested compatriot.
“Shiro Utsuri, wings of blood.” Stepping through the doorframe, Shiro started slightly at the sight of the Oni mask, and despite being taller and better built than Wild took extra care to give him plenty of space. His square moustache extending over his upper lip was yet another indicator, along with his surprisingly square jaw, pale complexion, and blindingly blue eyes, that, unlike the rest of his peers, he was undoubtedly a foreigner.
“And Taisho Sanke.” No honorific was needed, as the last of this unique group trudged through the doorway like a lost spirit, his eyes listlessly examining every detail in the room with no perceived difference between them. Unlike his comrades he did not wear a suit, instead being clothed in several robes of various elaborate designs, covered by one black cloak which hid almost all of his body beneath it. It took several seconds for him to notice Wild, unaware of the Renegade Mask’s clear discomfort caused by the presence of such a large creature. He eventually continued onward, part of his train bumping into Tone and prompting a bubbling, murmuring string of noises equivalent to an apology to erupt from his mouth before joining the others.
“Give me one good reason-” Wild growled, pausing as the door behind him was suddenly shut. “-one good reason why I should listen to another word you have to say.”
“I have not yet finished.” Oisim scowled further. “We have too little time for these pointless spats. This death has been arraigned to appear as one you caused. Rikuto will be informed. Therefore time is precious now and you will not interrupt again.”
“These are my Kin Gin Rin, my most trusted allies.” He gestured to the group with open palms. “They are as I am. You will heed their instruction in the future as if I have spoken. You have been attempting to destroy every yakuza family in Japan, and have been very successful. But not by yourselves. These men have helped you.”
“What, are you thinking of blackmailing me?” Wild’s body rippled with steam. “If you’re thinking of any kind of exposure, go right ahead and try. There won’t be enough left of you or your merry men to fill a casket.”
“I’d hear him out, son.” the short Shigon gestured to Wild, the candy still between his fingers. “Master Makuei, he doesn’t threaten, he acts. And he’s been doing a lot of acting in your favor recently.” He dexterously unrolled the candy from its wrapper and popped it into his mouth.
“You want to destroy every yakuza family in Japan. Our goals align.” Oisim continued, some frustration at the interruptions by Wild and Shigon present in his voice. “Each of these men have entered into association with each of the families you ruined to provide you with many openings. Knowledge of our existence within them was destroyed. No one has found out our involvement.”
“Yet.” Shusui sighed, leaning back against one of the larger statues as Oisim shot him a menacing glare.
“Why are you doing this?” Tone inquired, before holding up a cautioning hand. “I heard your reasoning. Koi Blood has operated almost exclusively on the coasts of Japan, and is so separated from its leadership that none of the people involved have known enough to provide us or anyone else with any leads.”
“And yet you ask this knowing the answer.” Oisim grumbled, clearly disappointed with an intellect less sharp than his own.
“I’m not done yet.” Tone shot back, stepping slightly forward. Wild glanced at the sudden movement from Goshiki as every muscle in his body suddenly tightened, as if he would spring forward suddenly and snap Tone’s head off. “You are yakuza. All of you are just as bad as the rest. Why would you help us, when you’re just as inevitable a target as everyone else?”
“How many people has Taisho killed?” Oisim spoke with his eyes on Tone, but it was Shigon who stirred. His eyes flitted to the strange abomination for a moment, staring at his koi head and flat, unintelligent eyes.
“Twenty one thousand, six hundred.” He pulled another candy from his pocket and nervously tapped his fingers over it.
“Why did I present these five of this organization to you?” Oisim’s chest rose as he spoke, his eyes burning with indignation. “They are in accordance with my goals. You are in accordance with my goals. We will pursue this goal with or without your involvement.”
“If it’s to destroy yourselves, have at it.” Wild turned to the door. “I’m going to call for Hie. If you’re still here when I get back, I’m killing you.”
“He has spirit.” Oisim mumbled as the leader of the Renegade Masks stormed out of the room. “Hie, enter.”
From behind one of the folding screens Hie emerged, his eyes glancing at all of the Koi Blood members present. His mask didn’t cover his eyes, instead stopping just above his nose and wrapping around his jaw, looking almost motorized despite being made of wood.
“Sorry Tone.” His arms pressed heavily against his sides as he slipped his hands into his pockets. “I wanted to inform you sooner, but… Oisim convinced me it was for the best that I wait.”
“Your name’s Oisim, then? Oisim Makuei?” Tone folded his arms at the bald-headed figure behind the desk, trying his best to exude confidence in spite of the situation. “Easy for you to want to destroy all the yakuza, when you don’t have anything personally involved.”
“You lack subtlety.” Oisim glared, folding his arms in retort as he spoke. “My daughter is the only thing I value. She will have to learn how to to grow up without a father.”
Tone looked about at those assembled, watching as their expressions changed from disinterest and concern to unyielding resolve. “We all have things to lose, young man.” Shiro’s eyes shone kindly at Tone, pairing surprisingly well with his deep voice and gravely Russian accent. “Some more than others. But all of us are committed to this goal, no matter what it costs us.”
“We will speak again.” Oisim lowered his brows at Tone, motioning with a slight lift of his finger. Hie darted across the room in the blink of an eye, joining Tone as he slowly turned and walked out of the room.
–
“So it’s true, then.”
Wild did not reply. The atrocity before his eyes was too much to stand glossing over. Tone stood at his side, hands in his pockets, barely moving as he breathed.
“Your silence confirms it.” Hie snarled, turning towards the pair with venom in his voice. “Your little scheme has got you carrying water for Oisim, and turning a blind eye to his criminal empire expanding, seizing control of everyone and everything until there’s nothing left. I had to do something or that smiling wings of blood idiot would take control of the airways, too!”
“Eighty people dead.” Wild coldly reiterated. “An airfield on fire. You questioned my direction, so you took things into your own hands and killed Shiro, all without thinking of the consequences.”
“You believe that madman, then!” Hie jabbed a finger in his superior’s face. “You’re willing to trust the word of a yakuza boss over your own friends! Shiro brought that little experiment here, didn’t he? He said he could control it, didn’t he? And you want to welcome it in like it’s one of our own?!”
“Eighty dead.” Wild’s stare grew more and more ominous. “Shiro Utsuri dead. Makuei on our tails like a rampaging beast, all the forces of Koi Blood after us. And all because you didn’t like it.”
“It’s about to get a lot worse, Wild.” Hie’s furious expression refused to back down, getting further into Wild’s face. “I’ve told Oisim where you’re planning to run to next, as well as where all your little hiding places are. This treacherous endeavor is getting shut down now and there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Steam erupted in white trails off of Wild’s body, but Hie was ten yards away before either Wild or Tone could react. “I’ve taken the liberty of planning this all out in advance.” His black coat whipped in the wind. “I’ve tied information about the attack to you the same way Oisim tied the murder of Takuya to you. There’s only one thing I need to ensure Oisim is able to successfully get revenge.”
Zipping forward, he laid his hand on Tone’s mask.
–
“Then he was foolish for assuming I could not find it out.” Oisim frowned. “You did the right thing, Tone. Hie with your mask would have been very difficult to handle; we will see to your request.”
Oisim walked away from the edge of the building, leaving Tone and Wild alone as he rejoined Goshiki and the small band of Koi Blood men that were gathered by the stairs. After they had left, Wild sat down on the edge of the building next to Tone, both watching the fire slowly being drawn under control.
“I don’t blame you.”
Tone hissed, turning away from the leader of the Renegade Masks. “You don’t get it. I’m constantly on the verge of losing control over it, of something like… that… happening. Of… Blowing someone up.” He squeezed his hands together to fight back a shudder. “I’m always being as careful as I can, never operating at more than three or four percent.”
“I know, and it’s why I don’t blame you.” Wild laid a hand on Tone’s shoulder. “You were forced into an impossible situation. The no kill rule exists for a reason, but I’ll be the first to admit there are sometimes circumstances where you have no other choice.”
“Wouldn’t it be more humane to kill?” Tone glanced back, trying to force the water in his eyes back down. “You’ve been okay with seriously hurting people before, even maiming them. Isn’t it more merciful to just eliminate them?”
“Life matters more than anything else, Tone.” Wild’s eyes glowed with each word he spoke. “I’ll preserve it whenever I can. Sometimes the Oni mask can make that hard to focus on, but I’ll never take a life unless there’s no other choice.”
Tone returned his gaze to the inferno below, imagining the body of Shiro already consumed by the flames. “What happens now?”
Wild grew an extremely devious grin, which quickly threatened to consume the rest of his features. “You still going to college?”
“You know I’m not.” Tone replied, but then quickly glared at his superior with suspicion shining through the slits in his mask. “You’ve got that attitude in your voice again, what are you plotting?”
“There’s a girl attending the same university you used to attend. Her parents were involved in some kind of underground missionary thing out west, and they’re either both in prison now or both dead. Well, I wondered if, since you used to go there, you could-”
“Okay Tone, okay.” Wild raised his palms and looked away, unable to keep it up under the power of Tone’s immensely flat glare. “But I do want you to check things out, see if she’d be a good fit for the team. From what I can tell she’s got her foot in the door in the news industry, which if I can swing a couple things and land her a job in would be very useful as a resource for us.”
“You always pick the parent-less saps, don’t you?” Tone sighed, standing up and extending a hand to help his boss up from the edge of the building. “Do me a favor, Wild. If you ever up and die, remind me not to pick up every sad-looking orphan kid I come across. Pretty soon I’ll be running an orphanage instead of saving the country.”
“There’s a lot left to save.” Wild ascended, glancing back at the inferno. “Five yakuza families down, more than half of what’s left in Japan… And it barely feels any different. I hope we’re making a difference after all.”
–
5 Likes
It’s been 11 weeks and four chapters since the last NOTa theorizing 
Bruh that’s such quitter talk 
No wonder there’s nobody else theorizing with that attitude 
Well not just, you showed up in the chapter before that one but yeah
Best killstreak on arrival in the story out of any of the books I’ve written 
5 Likes
Welcome to my world, why do something I might enjoy when nothing I do, even a regular activity like MOCing, is fun anymore
The MineTheory
I got no clue what’s going on :/ I never actually read the NOTa theories, just enjoyed the ride Ghid forced upon me
From this most recent chapter, though, looks like the Wild Masks were renamed at some point from the Renegade Masks. Groundbreaking, I know.
Man, I don’t know what I’m doing, I normally like doing this stuff… blame it on being older than I was a few years ago.
4 Likes
The YourTheory
I’d give them a read, Nota’s covered that revelation when it was first unveiled in Chapter 4:
Nota’s made the process a whole lot more fun by his theorizings, and Cordax and N01 and Racie adding to it have made it that much more enjoyable for me to write it. If you’ve got the time, I’d read over some of their theorizing as it’s both insightful and funny and may help you rekindle that analytical spark.
Probably gonna be adding some more details to the most recent chapter, part of it feels kinda dead and since I’m waiting for a couple people to get caught up I might as well
5 Likes
–
Chapter Twenty
Thermoregulated
–
“What day is it?”
“More sad than yesterday.” Ren replied, adjusting his tie in the mirror. “I thought you’d be out jogging right now.”
Tone groggily stepped away from the bathroom door. “You know how busy we’ve been, with everything going on and those hooligans after us… I didn’t want to risk something going wrong ahead of tonight’s raid. Better to play it safe.”
"…What?" His masked face slowly reappeared. “What do you mean more sad than- No. No stop. Ren, don’t you dare, I know that look.” Tone threw a hand forward in protest at the smug grin which beamed off of Ren’s face. “Just because there’s no bigger joke here than you, that’s hardly an excuse to-”
“It’s Sad-” Ren began, but paused to glare at the mention of his life goals. “Sadder day. It’s Sadder day. Rook, please tell me at least you got it.”
“The joke, or whatever clawed its way into your cranial cavity and died?” Rook replied, prompting Tone to drop his disappointed scowl and look directly at the sentient mask in surprise. “I knew your egg joke from a few nights ago was rotten, but this one really puts the turd in Saturday. If all your day puns are really this Monday-ne, I’d rather have some night puns even if they involve dark humor.”
“I’m about to throw up for all the right reasons.” Tone tried to fight back a grin as he walked away from the flabbergasted Ren. “Want me to wake Corey up yet? We’ve got a lot to get done today, y’know.”
“…No,” Ren said, holding his forehead for a moment in disbelief. “I want him to get as much sleep as possible for this one. Uh, could you give Race a call, see what’s going on with the broadcast?”
“No need to.” Tone gestured with his head towards the computer. “Government stepped in and tried to hush it all up, but it didn’t work. Somebody close to things leaked the world’s worst shaky cam footage. It’s a horrible mess up there.”
“Then I’d better be the one to call.” Ren slipped into his suitcoat and snatched up his phone from the restroom counter. “I’ll be back in a couple hours. Call me if anything happens.”
“But Ren-!” Tone began, only for the leader of the Wild Masks to slip out of the room and down the stairs. “Welp, I guess he’ll just have to find out on his own. You know what’s sad, Rook?”
“His sense of humor?” Rook mused. “No wait, is it Corey having fallen asleep on the pile of laundry instead of his mattress?”
“Nah.” Tone glanced down at the slumbering Corey, his hoodie nearly inverted over his head in the contorted position he ended up in. “It’s how Ren went to the ends of the earth to stop the leader of the Pangolins and all he got for his troubles was a new tourist attraction.”
–
“Right, I’ve got to go now. They’re getting suspicious.”
“What’s going on?” The heavy footsteps of the PSIA agent announced his arrival as Race quickly pocketed her phone. “I thought we said no outside contacts until your group was screened!”
“Just checking the time.” Her face remained as flat as her voice. “It’s taking literally forever to get verification over here. Shou, I told you not to smoke around the equipment.” She glared at Shou, who quickly swiped a cigarette butt off of the rock he was seated on in time to throw it behind him for the PSIA agent to witness.
“We’ll need to take a look at your phone regardless.” The agent frowned as his eyes returned to meet Race’s. “Your team got out here awfully fast despite having no way to tell this… thing was headed to Mt. Fuji, and- Yeah.” He held his finger against his ear for a moment, blocking the spiraling cord that lead to it from view.
“Sate, minasan, watashitachi wa ie ni kaeru koto ga dekimasu.” He turned back towards Race. “We’ll be getting in touch in a couple days. Don’t leave the country, don’t talk to any other reporters who might leak something. And try to avoid seafood for the next few days if you can.”
Race trudged towards Shou, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. “Thanks for that one. We’d better get going before Fumihito panics and tries to drive out here himself.”
“You sure it wasn’t one of these guys that leaked it?” Shou asked, his disinterested expression seemingly a permanent feature of his face. “I’m not a camera expert, but that seems a little hard to achieve.”
“I’m sure.” Race looked up at the remains of Chubasco, wrapped multiple times over itself and impaled through various sections of its body on a de-limbed Japanese pine tree, its jaw at a horrible angle. “The only way someone could have taken that footage was from further out, in an aircraft of some kind. The angle won’t allow for anything else.”
“But who’s got a lens that precise?” Shou motioned to the rest of the crew to start packing up. “You’d need to be able to spot this thing, through the trees, all the way in Kyoto, and then somehow zoom in on it to the degree that you could make out what it was, all from a helicopter or something. Air traffic over Fuji is closely monitored, especially after this; they don’t let anything electronic get that close, not even a drone. And there’s no camera in the world that could manage that from any greater distance.”
“I know.” Race sighed. “And it was filmed in daylight, meaning it wasn’t done before people got involved, so there’s got to be another explanation. I just wish I knew what…”
As Shou turned away, Race glanced at the open sky, trying to determine if Hawk was still there.
–
"“That’s what I said.” Pakka swallowed, fearing some dreadful ramifications for what he had witnessed. “Mister Makuei said he would inform you, so I don’t see why he hasn’t-”
There was a horrible noise on the other end of the line. “Okay! Okay! I’m sorry! I should tried to call something, I guess… Your old phone got destroyed, but I still should’ve tried.”
“…No, it’s okay.” Pakka gripped his opposite arm with his free hand. “I’m fine. I was mostly calling because I was loitering around the hotel, and guess who I just saw go in.”
“Yep. He came here and went straight to the front desk.” Pakka grinned smugly. “You better believe I did. I trailed him all the way to the managerial office; he’s been trying for an hour to see if he could get tickets to the event tonight.”
“I guess he just didn’t think that far ahead.” He shrugged. “I’d better go, I just heard someone leave the front entrance and it could be-”
“You okay?” Ren asked, tapping the hunched and clearly suspicious Pakka on the shoulder. The phone shot straight up into the air, but before it could land on the ground and shatter its screen, Ren caught it in between two fingers.
“Yesfinethankyougoodbye” Pakka blurted out as he swiped his phone back and immediately walked off, trying desperately not to turn his hoodie too far and reveal his face. He rounded a corner and, as soon as he was out of sight, flopped down on his stomach and peered around the corner from its base, observing the leader of the Wild Masks as he shrugged, got back in his car, and drove off.
“…Yeah, that was him just now.” Pakka whispered into the phone. “Don’t worry, he didn’t see anything. I saw a great deal, though; he didn’t end up getting those tickets.”
–
“I don’t get it.” Fumihito mopped his forehead with the seven sheets of paper in his hand. “That was five hours ago that she went out there. Next thing I know the police call, there’s an interview from people at the PSIA, I’m being threatened with lawsuits and subsidizing if I don’t keep everything there sealed, until they or some above them gives me word. How am I supposed to know what not to leak if I don’t even know what it is? And where is she after all this time, without so much as a phone call?”
“You need to calm down.” Ayumi kindly laid a hand on his shoulder, but Fumihito pulled it away. “I can’t afford to get anyone in trouble because of this. We were depending on that being the morning timeslot, and instead we had to drag our heels and hope that dancing about various topics would tie people over.” He kicked at a small metal trash bin, sending it flying across the room and spilling paper everywhere.
“Yuuto,” He said, loosening his collar. “If you would clean that up. I can’t take this anymore; I’ve gotta get some air.”
“You can’t go outside!” Ayumi gasped, her mouth twisted in horror at the notion. “They said they would be watching if anyone left; you’d be inviting even more trouble if you did that!”
“They didn’t say anything about opening a window.” He sighed, stalking towards the other end of the room. “And besides, what are they gonna do if I do pop my head out for a moment? Shoot me?”
Reaching the window, he undid the latch and grabbed it with both hands to slide it up, freezing in place as it reached the halfway point. The opposite building was shorter than the one he stood in, and across the rooftop of it he noticed a dark figure peeking out from behind the far edge, concealed by the elevator shaft. There was no mistaking the long, black object he held as anything other than a gun.
His eyes focused on the reflection in the glass. Ayumi was directly behind him, stooping to pick up the paper he had spilled. There was no way for him to move without putting her in danger, and there was no way to warn her to move in time. The clock seemed to slow to an impossible crawl as time obliged his mental processes however long they needed to finish.
There was nothing between the glimmer of the rifle the assassin held and the fate that seemed utterly inescapable. Fumihito closed his eyes, failing to notice the large black object hurtling towards the window from the roof of the building.
BANG
The crushing pressure on his ribs suddenly relieved.
Fumihito opened his eyes to take in the blinding white light of the ceiling light. Off to his left, breathing in ragged, exasperated gasps, was a massive cicada, the two claws on the end of each of its limbs serving as fingers as it felt about at the newly-formed dent in its chest. Finally prying out a tiny, smoking metal disk from the crater, it scrambled towards the shattered window and threw itself out.
“Was that A GIANT CICADA?!?!” Ayumi screamed.
“P-Presser, get me a presser.” Fumihito trembled, fighting between excitement and physical shock as he tried to dust the broken glass off of his body. “And someone come sweep this up, I think I have a broken rib. But get me that presser! And- No, wait, story hasn’t broken yet. Ayumi, get in the broadcast room now!” His eyes sparkled as he felt around his broken rib. “I think we’ve just beat that other story with one of our own, so let’s get it out there before some other government agency tries to stop us.”
“That’s too risky!” Ayumi pleaded, but Fumihito held up a hushing finger. “I’ve got a guardian angel, honey. And I’m about to give him free publicity.”
–
8 Likes
I quite like this line.
I just read through the whole story, i’ll do some commentary when it isn’t 2am.
4 Likes
I hereby declare that I am officially 100% caught up with the story (let’s just say that Ghid and I did a funny)
I have an RP signup at the moment that I need to take care of, but once that’s done imma do the stupid thing I usually do where I write my thoughts and predictions on the chapters in the least coherent way possible
5 Likes
Okay, well, better late than never.
you've got your Skopio XV1s
At the beginning, i really enjoyed the story. You’ve got fun characters, an interesting premise, and a much more grounded setting than your TBo_ series. Instead of a domed world of skeleton dreamers and robot police and wooden puppets and whatever the heck monopoly was, you have a story set in a familiar location with regular people, except there are magic masks. Much easier to immerse yourself in this world, to know what to expect. Later on, we find out there is some sort of demon, but this fact is built up and revealed, rather than just being presented as “hey, this is a thing now, deal with it”.
The characters are fun to watch. First off, i like seeing the Wild Masks, seeing how they’re all affected by that fateful mission. With the exception of Ren, they are all sent through Karzahni in various ways. And while Ren is the only one not affected physically, he has both inner and literal demons to deal with. On top of that, you’ve got Ren and his coworkers, which is quickly established as a fun dynamic.
Then Tone comes to work and gets involved in that dynamic, and then the bad guys attack and Kohaku gets caught up in the action. I love it, and Kohaku might just be my favorite character (which is funny considering that one of the characters is me).
and your Soleks
However. Now we get to the criticism.
First off, a minor one. While i like the premise of the superpowered masks that give people unique powers, i kinda wish we knew more about what this world knows of them. Does the general public know that they are a thing? Does anyone know where they came from? How widespread are they? How did Wild and his group get them?(though this could certainly be a mystery for later, to be revealed in flashbacks) These are questions no one would have asked in TBo_, because that world had so much weird stuff already, but with this more grounded setting these things stick out.
As for larger issues: there are a lot of characters. This wasn’t so bad at the beginning, when we had the WM, Ren’s life, and brief glimpses into the lives of Corey and Race, with characters we figured we wouldn’t need to remember because they get so little focus. Like i said, an eggselent start.
Then we get the mafia, the bad guys. There’s so many of them, they all get thrown at the reader in rapid succession, and it’s hard to keep track of who’s who. It’s made worse by the fact that they have Japanese names, making them harder to remember. They really needed a slower build-up, and we needed each of them to get individual spotlights before they all are shown together. It’s a bad sign when we hear “the leader of the Pangolins is dead” and i think “okay, uh… who was that again? Do we know who that was?”
Then there’s the news crew Race works for, who suddenly have the spotlight in chapter 20. Unlike with Ren’s coworkers, these guys got little focus, no time to cement themselves with the audience. I had to read through chapter 20 again to actually comprehend it, and i don’t have any attachment to these characters.
And then there’s Chubasco. I mentioned how at the beginning it was far more grounded, and the supernatural elements were introduced very well. But then suddenly ther is a giant magic unstoppable devil fish out of nowhere.
This really needed some build up, some hints as to it being an option. Perhaps have someone mention it, and Ren says that it has to be a last resort. And while i normally enjoy your mysterious style of writing that makes the audience have to figure things out and keeps them guessing (and theorizing like Nota), we really needed to see Ren talk about what he hoped to achieve before summoning Churasco.
I want to love the scene where Ren is beating himself up over summoning this thing that killed hundreds of innocent people, and Kohaku, an outsider in all of this, consoling him. This is an awesome character moment, with my favourite character to boot. But it’s hard because we don’t know what Ren expected. Up until that point, it looks like Ren knew what this thing was and what it would do. All we get is Kohaku – not even Ren – saying “you didn’t know what this monster would do”. How does she know? We really needed to be shown this, not told by someone else entirely unfamiliar with his thought process.
Heck, this could be as simple as changing the dialogue in the scene. Instead of Kohaku telling Ren he didn’t know, she forces him to admit that. He repeatedly dodges the question with his guilt-ridden statements, until he finally admits that he didn’t know Churasco would destroy everything in its path, and then Kohaku forgives him and forces him to accept it.
And also, now the latest chapter has a giant Cicada? I dont want to judge yet when this thing has barely appeared, and so far it’s decent: the characters who see it know as much as the audience does, and react with clear confusion. So far, not bad. (Okay, i guess this is a Skopio and not a Solek, but it could get worse, we’ve yet to see)
And the premise… I feel like i’m losing the plot. What exactly are Ren and his group trying to achieve at this point? It seems like the characters are just doing things. Of course, the story isn’t over, we have yet to see how it all comes together, but at some point the line of mysterious writing starts to dwell into Lost territory of “things are just happening and no one knows why”.
Overall, i still enjoy the story. I like the characters and the premise, and i want to see more. But it does feel like it’s beginning to topple under its own weight (kinda like G1 bionicle), meander a bit, and throw random stuff in like TBo_ did.
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The next chapter is coming but Nota said he’d get theorizing up so I’m waiting on him 
Solek is riding the Skopio VX1 we are doomed
I don’t know if this was supposed to be doomed or a jab at my dark wall shenanigans
There’s definitely gonna be a flashback chapter that covers this, as well as one little detail people noticed but didn’t think on in an earlier chapter, which will hopefully be a fun little romp
This will be resolved soon 
uh I mean what oh nooo how will I solve this 
Uhh… Maybe I didn’t do the best job detailing it, but the Pangolins was name-dropped before this (twice)(ch 14), the character who name-dropped them reported directly to Odgu (ch 14), and the relationship between Odgu and Oisim/the other Pangolins was established (ch 12). Chubasco also specifically attacked one person and one person only, that being Odgu, which was the key focus of two different scenes (ch 17).
This will be the only time they lead any scene.
As for emotional attachment, Fumihito isn’t the focus of his scene.
This is fair
This is also fair, but in my defense your honor I plead nuh uh having Kohaku have to prove he was innocent would kinda defeat the point. She never considers for a moment that he could possibly want this to occur; as soon as she presents the notion that it was unintended, he confirms it.
Has it?
Nota if you’re reading this get those theorizings out first mister I don’t want you cheating
While this is completely fair, I’d say the group has a significantly more refined focus now than at the start of the story. They were performing a heist for no specific reason, clearly not for criminal intent, and there was another one planned for Saturday… and that’s basically it.
Now they’re getting attacked from all directions by a group significantly more capable than they are, and it’s taking them everything they can to stay ahead. It’s also clear they’re only allowed downtime because the group has pumped the brakes a little, and in spite of that there are still plane crashes and giant fish monsters wreaking havoc.
The goal right now? Get to Saturday. The heist planned for that day has been clarified to be tied directly to the group itself, and a confrontation is inevitable. And as of the last chapter, Saturday has arrived
I know next chapter will clear some stuff up, but since I don’t want it to look like copium or me adjusting my plans to save face I figured I’d clarify in advance 
Kinda like the Skopio XV1
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MLP reference?
Telluris is gonna be jealous
Yep, the dark wall. Not really a jab, just pointing out that it was a thing.
Actually this is a good example of what i’m talking about. This is excellent Show-don’t-tell, showing us who Odgu is without having to say it. The problem is, with the vast array of new characters coming in, half the time i kept forgetting who Odgu was.
Maybe i’m just an idiot, i thought Odgu was just trying to fight it in order to delay it from reaching its actual target, and/or to get it away from the city so as to minimize casualties.
Im not dyxlesic your dyslexci.
Perhaps it is i who didn’t really do a good job saying what i meant. I’m not suggesting she thinks he knew this would occur. I’m saying she forces him to admit it, not to her but to himself.
It’s still effectively the same, it just allows us to see more of Ren’s intentions, which is my main issue with the scene.
Okay, i will concede: i forgot this part. They got the mask that lets them see the enemy’s moves, so the enemy decided to make no moves. This is a thing, that i definitely remember.
but he can ride the Skopio XV2
Also, i forgot to mention this, but i like how the team is all messed up in different, unique ways. A mechanical stomach, getting trapped in his mask, getting the mask fused to his face, dying, becoming japanese; you made them all suffer different consequences, and i appreciate it.
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makes me worried for my appearance, assuming Ghid hasn’t forgotten about me 
Gotta say that yeah all the characters are hard to keep track of and the story can sometimes be hard to follow, but I’m still enjoying it. World feels alive, I like all the secrecy going on, and all the members making appearances are fun.
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