I’m honestly curious about where @Eljay got the idea for that one. Was that just what “The BIONICLE Song” sounded like to him (as it does to me, now that I’ve watched his review 
), or was it a running joke within the community?
Regardless, that’s probably one of my favorite opening skits, since now I can never listen to that song without hearing 
Oh and Fancy Loin Cloth .
that’s a lot of skits
my friend
you are a legend
man I can’t believe how long this must’ve taken
Yeah…it did take a while. I remember there were some skits where I found it hard to understand what Eljay was saying, so what’s written here represents my best guess. But at least I stuck to it and transcribed every skit.
Yeah good job 
Since there have been some reviews from Eljay since I last added to this topic, here are transcripts of the skits from those reviews:
Another Random Review-Creative Mechanics’ Bionicle Merch
Eljay: Oh hey, welcome. You don’t need to worry about the mask, the state lifted the restriction, so you can go ahead and take it off.
[Eljay is shown wearing a Miru-style face mask over his golden Miru]
Rebooted Reviews (even though it was just an April Fool’s joke)
Cole
Eljay: Yeah! Whipmas is here! Time to check the Whipmas stocking! [holds up his stocking and starts rooting through it] Gosh, I hope I got something cool! [finds something at the bottom of the stocking] Oh no, oh no! [pulls out a bunch of Cole minifigures] I got a lump of coal!
Eljay’s Reviews
Every Set From Bionicle (2001-2016)
Eljay: [standing before a sunrise] It’s done. Everything has been reviewed. I finally rest and watch the sun rise on an ungrateful universe.
[a phone notification rings; Eljay curiously checks it and finds a text from BIONICLEfan2006 that reads “you forgot nuparu;” in response, Eljay growls and throws the phone up into space, where Levahk-Kal is still floating]
And I imagine there’ll be another skit when Eljay reviews the miniature brick-built Tahu. 
Wait a minute I just realized you didn’t do the skit for the Slizer combo model video
Huh. I’ll have to get on that.
soon?
Now.
Slizers/Throwbots Combo Models
[a map of the United States is shown]
Eljay: Presenting, from the creators of Hiker Mike, [holds up Hiker Mike] Hitchhiker Mike! Now with serial killer knife!
Lego 90 Years Of Play Tahu
[a title card reading “December 2021” is shown]
Eljay: I’ve been your host, Erik D. “Eljay” Johnsen. See you all next time. Farewell. Fantastic day. [turns and leaves]
[a title card reading “May 2022” is shown]
[Eljay is shown drinking from a glass of apple juice when a businessman walks in]
Businessman: Eljay Johnsen. I see retirement’s treating you…well.
Eljay: Eljay Johnsen, huh? Nobody’s called me that in…about five months [puts down glass] What do you want?
Businessman: I understand you’re out of the game, but they want you back. You have to do one more review.
Eljay: It’s never just one more review with you people. There’s always another with you.
Businessman: All I’m asking is for you to give it some thought. Take your time [puts a box on the table] And get a haircut. [leaves]
Eljay: [opens the box] Okay, what-
Bionicle Nestle Promo Sets From 2006
[the editing of the 90 Years Of Play review is shown on a computer]
90 Years Of Play Review Eljay: Once again, thank you so much for watching. I have been your reviewer host Eljay, and I will see you all another time. Farewell.
Eljay: Phew. Done! Gosh dang, that took way longer than it should’ve. Alright, well, that’s it. Bionicle’s finished. Reviewed everything I need to. We’re done. I’m really hungry. I’ll get something to eat.
[Eljay starts looking through his cupboard]
Eljay: …get some cereal real quick…alright, let’s see what I’ve got. Hmhm, hmhm-[stops at a box of Nesquik cereal] Oh. That’s odd. I didn’t know that was in here. Hm. Should be fine. [takes the cereal box]
[cut to Eljay sitting down on a couch]
Eljay: Ah, after a long day of editing and reviewing, it’s time for a delicious and nutritious bowl of cereal. [cracks knuckles] Lets’ dig in!
[Eljay tips over the cereal box, only to see the 2006 promotional Bionicle figures fall out]
Eljay: No. No. [shakes the box in horror] NO!
BIONICLE Tahu And Takua 40581
[Eljay sits up, stretches, and takes off his Miru]
Eljay: [voiceover] Ah, what a beautiful day. The sun is shining, the air is fresh, and I never have to review a Bionicle set again!
[Eljay is shown looking at a wall of his previous reviews]
Eljay: [voiceover] Look at them. They’re beautiful. Time to go get the mail from outside and start the day!
[Eljay comes out the front door and breathes in the fresh air; dramatic music plays as he looks down, sees the boxed Lego Tahu And Takua set at his feet, and gasps; cut to a shot of Earth from space]
Eljay: NNNNOOOO!!!
[cut to Eljay holding the fully built Tahu And Takua set]
Eljay: [sniffling] Start the intro!
10 Year Anniversary Special
[the 2001 and 90 Years Of Play Tahu are shown swordfighting]
2001 Tahu: You might think you can beat me, because you’re new, because you’re limited edition, because you’re commemorative! [grunts] But as long as my gears turn, you will never replace me!
[the 90 Years Of Play Tahu makes a squeaking noise]
Yes.