“What? No! Hating someone doesn’t mean you want then dead. I mean Hotspot’s probably different. That blasted traitor can’t seem to get his head out of the past. But personally speaking, I would never.”
“Oh, huh, that’s nice to know,” she said, “Well he asked for some energon…so I was going to go get some.”
Jetfire grabbed a spare cube and tossed it to her.
“If you ask me, that blasted traitor doesn’t deserve it. But Juliana would chew my head off if I let him starve.”
“Most of us don’t deserve what we get. The way I currently see it, if I treat him how I’d wish to be treated in such a situation things will work out.”
“Yeah yeah. Whatever you say. While you’re here, you might as well keep an eye on him. Make sure he doesn’t try anything.”
“What would you be expecting?”
“I don’t know. He put one of our own to death for Primus sake. There’s no telling what he could try.”
She paused, “Yea, he did do that. I can’t say I’m really going to hold it against him. Plenty of bots to do that. I can’t say I’ve wiped out all the death in the war yet. This is just another death in a war that refuses to end, and one that exists for at least a reason this time.”
“What slagging nonsense are you going on about!”
Jetfire said, absolutely perplexed by her words.
“The war has been over for centuries. The fact that anyone is still holding grudges over it is insane! Steeljaw died because Hotspot couldn’t let go of the past!”
“Oh, well maybe we should just go talk to the other Protectobots and see what they think?” She said coolly.
“The other protectobots are dead.”
Jetfire said sternly.
She nodded, “That’s going to take more then a few centuries to shrug off. Especially when the last one alive is the leader, do you think he feels guilty about it? Wonders if he made the right decision? Personally I don’t see his grudges as unreasonable. I still feel guilt for what I’ve done. The consequences of your actions don’t go away because time has passed.”
“Of course he can still have regrets. We all have regrets from the war. But it’s no excuse to end someone’s life over it. We’ve been living together for hundreds of years and we’ve been fine. What he did was inescapable.”
“You’re a leader, you know how it is. If we can’t share the load, bear the burden for them. To take a hit when they cannot, and I can certainly take a hit,” Railgun says, pointing to his face as he gives a small, sad smile.
His face was was always a bit strange, if sometimes comical in the correct light. Always looked like soot was shot directly into his face, darkened and discolored. Though also like a very worn pizza pan where the protective coating has gone from use; lines stretching out from the center and into the darken soot, given a lighter scaring color. The outer edges of his face were a different color of metal and probably the closest to what was at one time.
The smokestack of his train mode formed around his neck like the tight collars of a soldier’s ceremonial uniform. And whenever he transformed, his head would go down the pipe and inside the smoke box. So even when looking at him in casual conversation, most would assume his face is just soot covered. Perhaps just a comical error of his transformation design.
But as his hand drops and smile quickly fads, it is very clear now that is not the case. His head hangs as he looks at the floor.
"And if you come off worried to them, show weakness at such a crucial time…The team falls to pieces, we all would be lost.
You should have seen Tie-Grabber, how much it ate him. How much it still eats at him. And Machbreaker…" Railgun pauses in thought as he looks up. “…Didn’t have it quite like us. I don’t know how. Maybe it’s his old isolation nature, maybe because he’s an egghead and constantly looking towards the future, for the stars. Unlike us, we keep getting stuck in the mud from the heavy weight as we try to move forward.”
He clinches a fist.
“And you know what I hate most? When we first came here, I wanted to escape to go back. Our goal was to get back and resume that blasted suicide mission. To go back to the monster. But time…”
His hand relaxes.
“Brings new perspectives.” He look into Nebula. “So how about you?”
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"Look, I understand where you’re coming from. Having to keep up a tough exterior for your teammates. But, sometimes it pays to lower the shield. It took me a while to learn, but your subordinates often care just as much for your well-being as you do for theirs.
See, I met my boys during the war. Towards the end of it. Clawshot had managed to avoid decepticon capture all that time, and so did I. One day we ran into each other, and I kinda just took charge. Then Ramjet, well… After Tidal Wave was lost in some sort of space bridge accident, Ramjet was thrown out. Since you can only bond with one bot, he was useless to the cons. When we found him he was scared and alone. So we took him in.
Clawshot and Ramjet both had a lot of problems. And like you, I felt responsible for those problems. Closing myself off, keeping quiet. But as time went on I realized it’s more of a burden then any one minicon can bare. I learned to open up, and was surprised when they told me they were worried about me. They just never thought it right to bring it up. It warmed my spark in a way I never really thought possible.
For as much as you have to be there for your team, they’re there for you just as much… And maybe… People, outside of your team to… If you catch my drift."
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“What was the alternative option? We need energon to survive,” she said as she lifted up the cube, “If we hadn’t done anything we would have starved. Don’t think for a moment we aren’t expendable. There are plenty of other Cybertronians out there to collect. If I’d known that he was going to do that, I would have personally volunteered.”
“And that would have been a fine alternative. If someone had to die for the rest of us, then let it be their choice. Steeljaw was forced into it.”
“I don’t disagree there…but…I also don’t think anyone would have volunteered…at least, most wouldn’t…”
“But someone would have. No one deserved to be thrown into something like that. Steeljaw died a cold and unjust death. You can’t just let that slide!”
"My brothers know. Perhaps not to the full extent, but they know. They know this is my way of coping. And while perhaps they don’t need it as much as me anymore, they still allow it. Our bonds were forged in war and survival, they aren’t easily broken…And while our strength, united despair - unified rage - can just as easily be what destroys us…
But yes, I catch your drift…So you were in the war too? What part did you play?" Railgun asked, his voice quiet.