Very bad story I wrote when I was like 5

Ok so today I was scrolling through my old word documents and I came across a story I made a long long time ago, and I decided to upload it here. Feel free to roast me because the story is so bad :stuck_out_tongue:

DISCLAIMER: This story has horrible formatting errors due to the copy and pastes from the word doc, but I didn’t want to change them because it won’t have the “charm” that it’s supposed to have.



1000 years ago

The canisters were floating in the large ,vast protodermis sea around METRU NUI. Meanwhile the Dark Hunters, Piraka and the Vahki teamed up to destroy the new toa that were going to arrive on the island. ´´First we need to ambush them´´ started Hakann.
´´Silence !, you fool´´ spat Zaktan.
´´Do not talk to your fellow teammates like that, Zaktan´´ the Shadowed One said calmly.
While the Piraka were busy arguing , the toa canisters had already arrived at Metru Nui. Slowly the lids of the canisters twisted off. The toa came out of their canisters. Then a large shadow was casted on top of one of the toa.
´´Greetings. I am Axonn, guardian of the mask of life ´´.
The toa introduced themselves to Axonn. Then, suddenly a big beast came over, grabbed Jaller´s head.

Chapter 1 The search for Jaller
It all started with the matoran. ´´ Look how dinky he looks´´’giggled Kongu. ´´ It isn’t funny Kongu. That matoran is from Karzahni´´ said Hahli.
´´ Jee, I can’t even have some fun without someone ruining it´´replied Kongu. The toa were walking down the forest pathway in Le-Metru.
´´I sense something´´ said Matoro.
´´Who are you ´´asked the figure.
´´I am Matoro, master of ice´´.
´´I´m Kopaka, a master of ice too´´.
The toa Inika had just met with another toa team; the toa Nuva. Then the two toa teams went and searched for Jaller.

Chapter 2 The Mask of Life

While the toa Nuva and Inika searched for Jaller, The toa came across a strange object. ´´It seems like it is radiating power´´ said Tahu.
Then one of the toa saw a small glint of silver. ´´ It´s a Comet ball´´ shouted Pohatu.
´´ Don´t be silly Pohatu, It’s the Mask of Life´´, exclaimed Gali.
´´ The Mask Of Life, impossible´´! said Tahu. The toa were arguing if that was the mask of life or a Comet ball .
´´What exactly is a omet ball´´ asked Hewkii
No one answered him. Then the toa decided it was The Mask of Life. When the toa were walking, they never knew that someone was trying to ambush them. ´´Perfect. We got them. They got the mask of life. All they need to do is stop and we could attack´´, said Zaktan . Then the toa came across Axonn again. ´´ I got news for you, toa. Brutaka has Jaller and he is experimenting with him´´ said Axonn
´´Who is Brutaka?´´ asked Matoro
´´He was a guardian of the mask of life like me but then he became evil´´ said Axonn.
Then the Piraka went for the attack. But when Thok tried to hit Axonn, Axxonn bashed Thok and the rest of the Piraka with his axe and he threw them into the water. Then the toa and Axonn found Brutaka´s hideout.
´´We meet again ,old friend´´ Axonn said.
´´Í am not your friend. I am your enemy´´ replied Brutaka

Chapter 3 The battle of the mask of life
First Axonn attacked. He kept on teleporting around Brutaka and swinging his axe. Then Kopaka, Matoro, Lewa and Kongu whipped up an Ice tornado and knocked out Brutaka. Then the toa saved Jaller. ´´Thanks brothers´´ Jaller said. Then Hahli´s and Gali´s faces turned red. ´´ And sisters too´´ Jaller said.
Then Brutaka got conscious. He ran up and hit Axonn i the back. Axonn crumpled. Then all the toa used their power and defeated Brutaka. Then they left. By then Axonn had already got his power back. Then a Turaga showed up. ´´Oh hi turaga Dume´´ Tahu said´´
´´There is no time to be happy ,Tahu. Mata nui is dying. That is why the mask is gray.
´´ Oh no! We need to help him´´ said Gali
Then the toa departed and continued their mission. Soon after they left, the toa saw six stones in a circle. ´´It’s the toa stones ´´ shouted Nuparu. Then the toa nuva took the toa stones and walked over to the great temple, and put the stones in. then they came out of the temple with very different armor and new masks. ´´Wow! Why do I have this blaster?´´ Kopaka asked. ´´ Because you are a toa Phantoka´´ said Matoro

Chapter 4 The New Makuta

The new toa Phantoka set off for their own journey. Then Tahu, Onua and Gali got transformed to toa Mistika. Then the toa Phantoka encountered new Makuta. ´´Well well. Look what we got here. New toa´´ chided Antroz.
´´ Whoever you are we came here to destroy you´´ said Pohatu. The toa chased the Makuta and kept on shooting them with their Midak sky blasters.

The the toa met up with the Toa Mistika and found the keytones for the Codrex. They went in and Kopaka, Pohatu and Lewa got the vehicles; the Axalara T9, The Jetrax T6 and the Rockoh T3. They zoomed out of the Codrex but then the vehicles got shot down by Makuta Mutran, Antrox, Chirox and Vamprah.´´ We got you now ´´ said Vamprah. Then a energy storm hit Karda Nui. All the Makuta got killed. All the Toa zoomed out safely.

Chapter 4 ½ Tren Krom

The toa were flying far until Pohatu said ´´my Rockoh´s fuel is running low´´. Then they crashed on a mysterious island. Then Lewa sai ´´ Hey! I remember this place. Its Tren Krom´s Island´´. 


I’m genuinely impressed if you got this far. I last edited this 5+ years ago, so it has terrible grammar and it has a LOT of spelling errors.

Now roast me


this is the most hilarious thing I’ve read in a while

thank you


“That’s what heroes do.” - Toa Hahli

Nothin personal, kid

Literally all anyone ever needed to know about Brutaka

It ends just like the official story does

Bobster this was glorious, well done


not bad very funny but also genuinely good

1 Like



School bully maneuver


Lol the fact that Dume just shows up out of nowhere and Tahu gives him the most casual greeting ever


Hewkii’s got rocks in his head

Also funny how TSO appears for one line then disappears right after


Oh shoot, pohatu ain’t playing around.


ah yes, an omet ball

Also, this story was pretty funny. The sheer inconsistency and seeming random-ness was hilarious. :laughing: