Well Little Johnny

So in this game you have to take a subject that is usually normal, and act like you are explaining it really terribly to a four year old, then ask a question For the person below you to answer. For instance, if I were to ask. How do vegetables grow?
I would answer with…
Well little Johnny, veggies have special little soldiers inside of them, that are trying to build their fort so that you can eat it and get healthy.

It’s a stupid game I know, I’ll start.

Why are there colors?


I’m seriously questioning if this topic was a good idea.


Well I’ll tell you 'lil Jonni. At one point, the entire world was black and white until, in about the '30s, everything started phasing into color. It didn’t take full effect until 1960 or so, but that’s why there are colors.

Where is the best place to buy ice cream?


Well little Jonni, the best thing to do is to not buy ice cream at all; it contains lots of sugar, which are tiny little insects who crawl all over your teeth and infect them with poison, causing cavities.

Why did Bionicle G2 end?


Well, little Johnny, Bionicle G2 ended because Bionicle sucks and nobody likes it.

Why are we here?


Well little Johnny, space men from Venus came to this here Earth and ate a few radishes. They then barfed up humanity.

Why does mommy and daddy fight?


Well little Johnny, mommy and daddy fight because when they scream, little love fairies come out of their mouths that make them love each other.

Why do people make weird topics?


Well you see little Johnny, it ended as all things do…because no one cares. Same thing will happen when you die as well!

Why can’t I wake up inside?

You see little Jonnhy, that is a stupid meme that ruined a good song.

Why do my shoulders hurt?

Ya see, Little Johnny, the bones in your shoulders are tired of holding up your arms, so they’re trying to tell you to stop.

Why do we breath?

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Well, little Johnny, we breathe so the little people in our lungs get nice breezes on the beach… wow this feels weird.

Why won’t we matter in the grand scheme of the universe, making our lives irrelevant?

Well little Johnny, your life won’t matter because you’re just another little ant in the hill of life. You’re not the queen ant, you’re not even a worker. You, my son, are just one of the hundreds upon hundreds of larvae that sit inside the ant hill waiting to be fully-grown.

Where do elephants come from?


Well little Johnny. Elephants come from underground. They grow like potatoes.

Why was Invader Zim canceled?

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Well little Johnny, its because it a good show and it was canceled because the Execs at Nickelodeon hate fun and only want you to watch mindless trash.

Why does Eljay wear a mask?


Well little Johnny. Eljay’s mask is actually a parasite. If he ever took it off, his head would explode. It also sucks up his brain waves, and makes him do stupid things sometimes.

Why do lobsters never die?


Well little Johnny, they have an evil king who eternally feeds them power.

What is a @Phweffie?


(Looks at @Phweffie’s avatar) Uhhhhhh… … …I’ll tell you when you’re older.

Why does Unicron eat planets?


Well little johnny
Unicron is big so naturally he likes eating thing with thousands of life forms living on them. He also like hearing the suffering of others while eating.

Why is ice cold?

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Well little johnny, ice is cold since it hates you and wants you to feel bad.

Why is the universe so big?


I’m detecting a Calvin and Hobbes reference.

Well little Johnny, the Nothingness of the universe keeps on expanding because of how many worlds sink into it. Then new worlds and galaxies come to take their place, in a never-ending process.

Why is there a dead Pakistani on my couch?