A glimpse of a few of my MOCs

This is Larenah(La-ree-nah). She stands approximately 9 inches tall and is an Earth-based MOC. She wields a Shadow Sword as her primary weapon and a Crystal Mace as her secondary. She is very agile and quite skilled with her sword. She keeps it sharpened at all times, so that she can be ready for her next opponent, may it be man or beast. I take full credit to her torso design. As far as I know, no one has made one the way I've made it. However, the way her feet are put together is not my own and I don't know who thought of it. the arms are also my own. Head design was inspired by BioRockDude. and the hands were inspired by Hydraxon. Here's a little bit of a side note, I've been working on this MOC for over 3 years. Original design can be found on my YouTube channel, though it's very bad quality, so you may not be able to see her all that well.

I will link more pics to my dA Sta.sh( http://sta.sh/21i36mqgel1d?edit=1 ) since the website is not accepting my dang pictures! -_- More pictures of Larenah can be found on my dA account. http://toa-ignicus.deviantart.com/


Anywho, a little backstory about her. She has lived on Xia(Roodaka's home island) most of her life. She was very looked down upon, since the mass population of the island are Vortixx(Roodaka's species). A few years, after she was mature enough, she escaped from the island and set a course for the island of Mata Nui. A more peaceful island in comparison.

The thing that she was most set on, was getting her own pet. She wanted only the best Rahi that she could find as her companion. Then she came across a Muaka Tiger, who was grazing on a fresh carcass that she caught. Larenah got closer and closer to the beast. She knew that even a single sound would alert her presence to the large creature. And with a deep breath, she pounced onto it. Muaka tired desperately to get her off.

Larenah then grabbed for one of the infected masks and removed it. The beast was slowly calming down. Then she grabbed for the other and Muaka collapsed onto the ground in exhaustion. Larenah shuffled through her saddle bag for some spare masks. Luckily she had just what she was looking for. Two black Kakama's, that would grant the beast with even more blazing speed. "This will certainly be an unstoppable force", she said as she chuckled to herself. "With this amazing beast, those Vortixx will notice me as a formidable foe for sure!"

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Rahkshi Head? Check
Nuva Boobs? Check
Skinny Waist? Check
Cites BioRockDude as inspiration? Check

0/10. NOPE.

EDIT: I won't remove the above, as I don't want to pretend that what I said never happened or try to cover it up, but @Toa_Ignicus, I would like to apologise for my rudeness. It was a gut reaction, and while an honest one, I still shouldn't have posted it without giving this a second glance.

I still dislike the Rahkshi Head/Nuva Boob combo,* but I really do like a lot of the other things you've done here, particularly on the lower arms and legs. I think you have a lot of potential to become a great MOCist, so keep on trying!

*I mean, there's nothing wrong with giving a MOC female characteristics, but when they're absurdly exaggerated like this, it starts to become... I don't know; uncomfortable? Objectifying? Whatever it is, it's something to avoid.

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Thank you.

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That's what I was thinking...

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Can't say anything CGL didn't.

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uh...

okay so
Disclaimer:
Gonna be a little harsh, do not take it personally
only here to improve
so
first off
not sure if you know this
But the tropes of a female moc (rahkshi head, nuva boobs, thin waist, etc) are well...pretty hated on
also
get rid of the pohatu claw on the lower torso pls
and don't use nuva boobs, they are overused, and really stupid.
rahkshi head can stay whatever
I don't have as much hate for it as most people
also
thin waist
bad

tbh
this seems almost like a direct copy of biorockdudes mocs
(not like those are any better)

again, you will get a lot of hate (rightfully so) by making moc's overly femine (like I mentioned, the dreaded, oh so hated nuva boobs, rahkshi head, thin waist, etc), so I suggest taking away the nuva boobs, bulking up the waist a tad (keeping in mind it is female) and again
remove the pohatu claw

also, take this how you like
But don't use biorockdude for inspiration when it comes to female moc's

Now, I got that out of the way
onto the build of the legs and arms
They are boring, and generic
Not a bad thing to be simple
but it took you three years to make those?

the build althogether looks okay, solid colourscheme, but the torso has 90% of this moc's problems.

for that, this moc gets 6/10
try to improve on the things I mentioned.
good job.

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Rahkshi Head?
Attempt at "hair" on it, no less?
Nuva Boobs?
Black and silver color scheme?
...

I'm going to cut the sarcasm, and just be honest. Take this MOC apart brick by brick and reassemble it with a real color scheme and a different head (maybe on that actually looks feminine).

The torso looks interesting, but it does indeed have a skinny waist. The Nuva Boobs actually aren't as out of place here as on other MOCs, but it makes the torso too bulky for the limbs. It would be in your best interests to use a different breast design (a Savage Planet paw piece works well for breasts without getting totally overboard.)

And don't use BioRockDude to inspire your characters ever again. MOCs based on his (such as this one) are the most cliche and hated builds in the BIONICLE community (possibly second to anything made out of CCBS, to some.)

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Nothing much to say that no one else hasn't pointed out already. 6/10

The sword's nice.

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Seriously... Why does everyone hate it when people give their female MOCs female characteristics?? It doesn't make sense! I swear it has something to do with being sexist. Really! My MOC isn't THAT sexualized! My MOC has just about, if not more feminine qualities than Roodaka had. And her waist isn't THAT small! I widened it BECAUSE someone tolled me it was too small! I can't win with you people! And what's wrong BioRockDude's MOCs anyhow?? I think they're great! You overzealous fanboys of Bionicle are killing it for everyone else who just wants to be creative and show people what they've made, just for the sake of sharing their creativity!

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if you're talking about the Rahkshi head and the Nuva armour it's because they've been done to death and people have grown to hate them.

I'm pretty shure that's what people don't like...

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The thing is they are giving you constructive criticism sorta

They/we are telling you to try and work on straying away from using such common things.
I'm not trying to be rude but there are probably thousands of Mocs out their that look exactly like this one and since you are obviously a good Mocer the community doesn't want you're talent to go to waste.

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@Toa_Ignicus I think what he is trying to say is, just because they are very negative does not mean they're not constructive.

I think what they are trying to tell you is to try and find something unique and eye catching. Black&silver can be very bland a lot of the time, and has been used an extreme amount of times. The only reason I don't like it is because it has used so much, but it shouldn't discourage you. Just like on youtube, people don't want to see something all over again, they want things like I said before: something unique and eye-catching.

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While constructive criticism is fine, simply saying a MOC sucks is not constructive in any sense and is frankly quite rude. If you are trying to give constructive criticism then you need to say good aspects also.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

As for personal thoughts, I actually like this set. Granted it has a Roodaka inspired build but that shouldn't be considered a bad thing. I actually rather like it

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Alright guys, here's the deal.

A lot of the posts in this thread are very unhelpful, sarcastic, and rude and it's actually pretty appalling.

If you are going to give criticism on someones work, do so constructively. Tell the MoCists how to actually improve by giving them tips- not by insulting them.

How exactly do you expect anyone to improve if this is your advice.

Just because there are MoCing tropes doesn't necessarily mean the MoC is bad. Everyone has personal preferences, and you can share that in a positive, helpful way.
Not by being condescending.

Toa-Ignicus, I apologize if you feel singled out. I ask that instead of reacting to inappropriate posts simply flag them for moderation and we will look into them personally.

I'm going to be keeping close tabs on this topic. I expect more from our users, this is not the kind of thing I want see happening.

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Thank you, Var. And guys, I'm sorry for blowing up the way I did. I don't take negative comments well. Especially when it keeps happening. I fully understand the intentions now of what they've all said, and yes, I agree fully that the black and silver color scheme as well as the "elite Rahkshi" build is well overused, but I've never used it before and I wanted to put my own spin on it. I had no idea the fans were sick of it that much, so I was completely shocked at the negative responses to it. The thing that also made me mad was that no one even let me know what they thought of her bio. I stayed up til 12:00 last night working on that. It took away from my sleep and I had work the next day, so on top of all the negative comments, I was also really tired... I was fine at work until I read all the comments... I was feeling down for half of my work hours... It doesn't matter what anyone says, jokingly or not. I always take everything to heart. That's why I try my best to say positive things to other people's work. Because I know how it feels to be on the receiving end. I apologize again. I won't try to make this a habit of blowing up at people. Just please understand that I'm a human being that want's to be treated with kindness. Is that too much to ask?

@Corex11
I don't build MOCs for praise from others. I build MOCs because I want to make something that I like out of these pieces. I've tried and tried to please people, but there's just not doing it. So I gave up on pleasing them and now. I just want to please myself. That's why I'm keeping Larenah the way she is. Because "I" want her to look that way. I am her creator. And no matter what anyone else says. She's perfect. Sure there's plenty of ways to improve her, but I see no need in it. Do you understand what I'm saying. Sure, I'm willing to take advise to improve. But if it's not give in a more positive way, I'll only see it as destructive comments to try to bring me down.

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I actually have little problem with the overused themes here. Well, I generally dislike the "nuva boobs", but these are not NEARLY as bad as others I've seen. Looking past that, I rather like the construction of the torso as it looks like it can be posed in various ways and articulation is one of the things I like to go for in my MoCs. The forearms are nice, tho some improvement on the upper arm armor may help. The armor you currently have there makes the shoulders look too wide in some pics. The "hair" is done in a way I actually have not seen and I rather like it (it may have been done before, but this is the first I've seen it in this style) especially the little bit on top of the head. I think it adds some character. The way the wings are attached allows for some nice posing and it's well integrated with the torso, I often will add wings as an afterthought and they won't flow as nicely. I don't have as much to say about the legs, but you did a nice job adding some back armor and texture so they aren't bland. The color scheme is rather simple, but consistant. Overall, forgiving and forgeting what may be considered overused, this is actually a pretty nice MoC. I hope you build and post more smile

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Thank you. This is actually the best comment I've gotten so far. I will try to find a better color scheme for my MOCs next time, but it seems like mostly everything's been done already. Black and silver is overused, as well as black and red, and red and silver. I won't even DARE posting my self-MOC since the build is so bland and the color scheme is so overused already. (Red, Black and Silver) Thanks for the comment. smile I very much appreciate it.

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Absolutely nothing. Except when certain "styles" of using them... just don't work right for a lot of people.

Personally, I am not sure. But a lot of people hate it, and as a critic, I try to tell people not to continue working in the styles that other people hate. That's what at the core of a lot of these comments -- this MOC uses a lot of stuff people hate because it's overused, or because it's associated with amateurism in the MOCing art.

The act of posting a MOC implies desiring praise or critique, usually both. Most MOCers, myself included, think that by posting a MOC online you are desiring either to receive praise or to improve a MOC until it is worthy of praise. If you don't want negative feedback, the best thing to do is to not post at all.

I'm sorry for having to be so hard in this post and my last, but it's your pit I've fallen into.

TL;DR: You'll never win with this type of MOC.

As long as you think she's perfect, she is. I completely understand where you are coming from (early Attack On Titan fandom) Now, I never gave my full pinion on this moc, or its bio. To start with, I don't like black&silver, BUT color scheme isn't as big to me as the build. For the build I really do like the arms and the legs, while they are using inika style, you definitely gave them some more character with those exoforce arms. Without looking at the nuva boob armor I would say this still has the shape of a woman(Unlike some builds) so my props to you because I can't build a good feminine figure so far. the Armor seems a little too bulky on the top compared to the rest of the body. I think having the HF 2010 feet really works with the smoothness of the armor, and the spikes on them help match everything else. Overall it's a good build.

Now I love stories behind builds! It really adds extra character.

This tell me that she is a slayer when she needs to be wink And can be vicious at times

This definitely helps explain this vicious attitude I'm getting from it

Now I feel this character! You've given me something to relate to and I kinda feel this super small attachment!

Keep this bio stuff up and you have me as a fan!

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Yes, but as I said before, I just wanted to share with the community what I made. I had NO idea the art style was SO hated. That's why I was shocked by all the negativity.

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