Awful Two-Sentence Horror

Frederic Brown’s Knock is a horror story meant to be left completely open to interpretation, the ‘horror’ behind it being entirely by implication. It is also only two sentences long.

This little story, published in 1948, has prompted many other aspiring authors and publishers to tell their own spin on the concept of something truly terrifying in only two sentences… But that’s for people with actual talent :smirk: What I’m after is something far more comedic and low-effort.

The goal of this game is to come up with a two-sentence ‘horror’ story, which either presents a scary topic so laughably bad it’s, well, laughable:

Or something constructed for the utmost comedic effect with no real concept of horror behind it:

There’s some rules to this as well:

  • Two Sentences per Story - not one, not three or more, just two. Maximize the comedic effect of those two sentences as best you can.
  • Try to make the stories actually funny - we aren’t here to write actual horror or non-comedic material. If you’re not sure people would understand the joke you’re trying to make, see if you can construct another one.
  • All TTV Message Boards rules apply. And have fun, of course!

Now let’s hear your horror stories! And remember - there’s nothing scarier than what people on the Boards call a sense of humor. :smirk:

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“Wow, I love being a toddler”, I said
“hello” said the bulldog named princess

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“Oh great,” I said as I lifted up the toilet lid. “That’s a cosmic horror with colors no mere mortal can fathom in there.”

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I opened up the TTV message boards, expecting new MOCs, maybe some discussion about video games. What I found was that Ghid had created a new topic…

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I was building a sand castle in my backyard when two men in black suits showed up, staring down at me ominously.

They were from the IRS and demanded I pay property tax on the new building

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I ordered a hamburger and they put extra ketchup on the burger. Except when I bit into it, that red stuff was not ketchup…

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My sister decided to take a walk outside. Unfortunately, i forgot what happened after that.

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I looked around in the darkness as I had forgotten to pay the power bill on time.

“Ohr, ohr, ohr ohr ohr, ohr ohr ohr ohr ohr” said fredy fazber

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Dan Wilson clicked the switch on his flashlight in the empty server room, flooding it with light. Then he realized that his flashlight contained no source of power, and that he was not alone…

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They say when your hands are cold at night, a ghost is holding them

So why are my feet cold?

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Late at night, i walked into the bathroom.
It was carpeted…

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Completely undressed, I was startled once I pulled back the shower curtains.

“Hi Dracula,” I said.

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“Where to?” The taxi driver said.

I tried not to point out the ominous floating 2 outside the window.

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A strange man is stranded on pavement hot enough to fry an egg.

He just sold his shoes on Facebook Marketplace…

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Crying and sobbing rn I’ve been transformed into a potted plant.

Wait how am I talking and crying then?

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She asked: “Do you love me?”

I said: “Only partly”

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“I think there is an imposter among us” I said as I put a frozen pizza in the shopping cart.
“Bro that’s crazy” said the astronaut in a red spacesuit next to me.

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“Cloning is impossible.” I said.

I agreed.

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I woke up at 7:30 AM on a Monday. It was, unfortunately, time to go to work.

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Short answer: no.

Long answer: nooooooooooooooooooooo…

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