CGL's Bayformers Rewrite Concepts

Inspired by this topic here, among other things, I began thinking a while ago about how I would rewrite the Bayformers movies to make them good. Not an easy task, let me tell you, but I think I've got something workable. While it would take a lot more from and be more faithful to other incarnations of the franchise, the goal was to try to take many of the existing concepts as they are in the Bayformers movies and attempt to tweak them just a bit in order to turn crap into gold. Whether I've succeeded or not is up to you to decide, but at least I can say I'm giving it my best shot.

Before I really get into things, though, let me start with the simplest of things: A cast list, and a history.


Humans (Basically the main cast of the first movie and literally nobody else)
Archibald Witwicky (Posthumous character)
Sam Witwicky (less annoying but still Shia)
Mikaela Banes
Seymour Simmons
William Lennox
Robert Epps
Maggie Madsen
Glen Whitman

Main Autobots
Optimus Prime - Peterbilt 379 Semi
Sentinel Prime - Rosenbauer Panther Fire Truck
Rodimus Prime - Chevrolet Camaro
Ironhide - GMC Topkick C4500
Ratchet - Hummer H2 Ambulance
Wheeljack - Mercedes Benz E550
Arcee - Ducati 848
Prowl - Saleen S281 Police Car
Flipsides
Bumblebee - Volkswagen Beetle

Minor Autobots
Mirage
Jazz - Pontiac Solstice
Sideswipe - Chevrolet Corvette Stingray
Sunstreaker
Bulkhead - SWAT Lenco Bearcat
Crosshairs - Chevrolet Corvette C7 Stingray
Kup
Wreck-Gar
Cliffjumper
Chromia - Suzuki B-King
Tigatron - Robotic Tiger/!Something!

Main Decepticons
Megatron - Cybertronian Tank/Cybertronian Jet
Jetfire - Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird
Starscream - F-22 Raptor
Blackout - MH-53J Pave Low III Helicopter
Blackarachnia - Robotic Spider/!Sports Car!
Shockwave - Sikorsky CH-53E Super Stallion
Soundwave - Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG
Barricade - Saleen S281 Police Car
Lockdown - Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 Coupe
Demolisher - Terex RH400 Mining Excavator/ Devastator's legs
Astrotrain - Shuttle Enterprise/British Rail Class 390 Electric Train

Minor Decepticons
Scorponok - Robotic Scorpion/!Dune Buggy!
Frenzy - PGX Boombox
Brawl - M1 Abrams Army Tank
Bonecrusher - Buffalo H Mine-Protected Vehicle
Lugnut
Ravage - Robotic Jaguar/!Something!
Howlback - Robotic Wolf/???
Slugfest - Robotic Stegasaur/???
Skywarp - F-35 Lightning II
Beastbox - Robotic Gorilla/???
Mixmaster - Mack Granite Cement Mixer/Devastator's head and torso
Rampage - Komatsu D575A Bulldozer/Devastator's arms
Swindle
Blitzwing
Lazerbeak - Robotic Condor/!Something!
Octane
Onslaught (Bruticus' head & upper torso)
Blast Off (Bruticus' arms)
Vortex (Bruticus' lower torso & legs)


The Beginning
-Quintessons create the Allspark, which creates the Transformer race.
-Seperately, the Quintessons create two planet-sized transformers, Primus and Unicron. Both go wrong; Primus objecting to the Quintessons' abusive rule over his smaller bretheren, and Unicron just decides to destroy everything.
-Primus fights Unicron and weakens him badly; Unicron goes into permanent slumber. Primus dies in the process.
-Transformers create an underground resistance against the Quintessons, led by a group of thirteen named in honor of Primus, empowered by a special artifact called the Matrix Of Leadership.
-First Primes rebel against Quintessons, banishing them to the edge of the galaxy, and establish Cybertron from Primus' corpse.

The Fallen
-Thirteenth Prime forsees an eventual depletion of Energon, and becomes obsessed with collecting it; he establishes machines in several systems that convert their suns' power into energon, called Solar Needles.
-Other Primes discover that there's life on one of the planets he plans to use for collection, and confront him. He is unrepentant, and they strip away his rank and name; he becomes the Fallen. They fight, and kill the Fallen and grind his remains to dust.
-On the way out, they ask the Ancient Egyptians to find some way of covering the Solar Needle so it cannot be used. BAM, Pyramids.

-later-
-transformer named Ultra Magnus redesigns the Cybertronian system of government; for this he is recognized as an honorary Prime. Part of the revision is to reduce the number of Primes from twelve to two, one apprentice and one teacher.

-much, much later-
The Dissent
-Young bot named Megatron notices (mostly through personal experience) that Ultra Magnus's 'Autobot' model has decayed into an unspoken caste system, and seeks to create a more egalitarian government. With several other low-caste bots and the support of a high-caste bot named Orion Pax, he sets out on a political crusade... only to be brutally shut down at every turn by the reigning Nominus Prime.
-Despite Orion's urgings for peace, Megatron becomes incredibly bitter, and eventually decides that force is the only way to enact the necessary change. He and his followers name themselves the Decepticons and begin a more violent revolution.
-Orion Pax disagrees with this approach, and the two part ways.
-The Autobot council, a bunch of elitist jerks determined to quell support for the Decepticons, assassinates Nominus Prime and frames the Decepticons, but Orion uncovers the conspiracy. Sentinel Prime, Nominus' successor, is convinced and renames Orion his apprentice - Optimus Prime.
-Optimus and Sentinel attempt to reconvene with Megatron, but he suspects it is another trick and refuses to attend.

The War
-Decepticon attacks slowly ramp up; despite Optimus' reluctance to give up on Megatron, Sentinel's sympathy does not override his practicality, and he begins fighting back.
-From there, the conflict grows into full-scale civil war that devastates Cybertron.
-Lockdown, a neutral party, takes a small shuttle and departs from Cybertron, heading towards the edges of the galaxy with the intent of avoiding the war altogether.
-A decade or so later, he returns, both his ship and his body... changed, and pledges his allegiance to Megatron.

The Exodus
-Megatron launches a covert attack meant to capture the Allspark and the Matrix of Leadership, so as to be able to restore and claim Cybertron after defeating the Autobots. It fails, but Sentinel Prime decides that it isn't safe for the artifacts to remain on Cybertron.
-Before leaving, Sentinel selects Hot Rod, Optimus' most faithful lieutenant to become Rodimus Prime, serving as Optimus' second-in-command for the duration of Sentinel's potentially permanent absence.
-Sentinel blasts off for destinations unknown with cube and matrix in tow; Megatron quickly gives chase.
-Starscream does his best, but in the absence of Megatron's moralizing presence, the Decepticons begin to falter, and the Autobots make considerable ground.
-Starscream decides that Matrix or no Matrix, the Decepticons need Megatron back soon.
-To that end, he launches an unexpected counterattack that leaves the Autobots reeling, then in the confusion slips away in the Nemesis with a small group of Decepticons; their mission being to track down Megatron and bring him back post-haste.
-Optimus finds out, and leaving Rodimus in charge, leads his own expedition in the Arc to catch up and prevent Megatron from returning, bringing a mobile space bridge to facilitate their return.

Earth
-When Sentinel Prime leaves, the Matrix and Allspark detect the presence of the Solar Needle on the (relatively) nearby Earth, and subtly steer his course towards that.
-Megatron catches up with him and the two fight; the two 'bots and two artifacts separate out but maintain their trajectory, crash-landing in different corners of the Earth sometime during the late medieval period.
-A few centuries later, an explorer named Archibald Witwicky discovers Megatron in the arctic, and gets the location of the Allspark imprinted onto his glasses.
-In the twentieth century, the Allspark is discovered, and the Hoover Dam built around it.

Present Day
-The transformers movies, but much better. Details to come in the next text wall.

7 Likes

as I've said before, glad I inspired you <3

anyways, as I know where this is going I can only say I wish you luck, I like the backstory you've set up here and these are the bay movies, except good

4 Likes

Hallelujah!

I'm sure that's a spelling error. You meant Porsche, right? :stuck_out_tongue:

Never my fondest origin, but it works.

Does this come from Animated?

I'll agree with this.

I look forward to the next text wall.

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Yup! :slight_smile:

Uh, not really?

Probably? I've only ever seen Ultra Magnus in Animated well, and the original 1986 movie, but I saw that just recently, after I'd already come up with this so I'd gotten the impression he was someone important and historical.

Thanks! :slight_smile:

And thank you! I'll try to post it relatively soon; before the end of the week, at any rate.

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Transformers: More Than Meets The Eye
Autobots: Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz, Mirage, Prowl, Bumblebee, Flipsides.
Sentinel Prime and Rodimus also cameo.
Decepticons: Megatron, Starscream, Blackout, Scorponok, Barricade, Frenzy, Brawl, Bonecrusher, Lugnut
Shockwave also cameos.

-Intro takes place on Cybertron, as Sentinel Prime takes the Matrix and Allspark and flies off; Optimus provides narration. "We had no choice. We had to exile our three greatest treasures, lest they fall into the wrong hands. We did not suspect that this sacrifice would change... everything."
-From there, the movie would mostly follow the 2007 movie, but with some specific changes:
-Prowl, Mirage, and a minicon named Flipsides join the Autobot roster.
-The soldiers are fully present, but the 'MURICA undertones are downplayed.
-Sam and Mikaela's relationship is a bit more naturally developed.
-The lake party scene is cut down a bit.
-The whole bit where the autobots are wrecking Sam's lawn while hiding from his parents is cut down a bit.
-After that bit, a new scene is added as the autobots look for a temporary hideout, and we get more banter/interaction/development between them and Sam and Mikaela.
-Bumblebee does not pee on Simmons. (Seriously, that had to be the main problem I had with the first movie... and it's still much better than the others.)

-During the finale, Lugnut, (Taking the place of Blackout) Brawl, Bonecrusher, and Frenzy are killed, though at the cost of Jazz and Mirage.
-When Optimus kills Bonecrusher, he expresses regret, rather than going all Murder Prime.
-This exchange happens:
Optimus: "Freedom is the right of all sentient beings! Now, who taught me that?"
Megatron: "Using my own words against me, Prime? Heh. I was a fool then. It seems you are still a fool."

-Instead of killing Megatron with the Allspark, Sam grabs a megaphone from somewhere, takes the Allspark over to a downed Optimus and sets it on one of his chest windows.
Sam: "Hold up!"
battle ceases as everyone sees him with the allspark
Megatron: "What are you doing, human?"
Sam: "Now, just listen to me here. Optimus told me to push this thing into his chest. But you know what? I really don't want to have to do that."
Megatron takes a step forward, Sam instantly pushes the Allspark closer to the middle of Optimus' chest.
Sam: "I said hold on! Now, just because I don't want to do this doesn't mean I won't. Optimus is like, my third-best friend after Bumblebee and probably Miles, and you guys all want the Allspark intact, right? If I do this, we're both unhappy. But it doesn't have to be this way."
Megatron: "Name your terms, boy." Growls in frustration.
Sam: "First off, I want all the Decepticons to leave this city. In fact, please leave Earth."
Starscream tries to sneak up to Sam
Sam: "Hey, I see you there, mister airplane bird guy." Pushes cube closer to Optimus's Spark.
Megatron: "I cannot promise to leave Earth alone forever. There are things here we need."
Sam: "Well, you can do that later. I just want you all gone right now. Second point: Don't hurt, or kill, or-or kidnap anyone on the way out. No humans, no Autobots."
Megatron: "And if we do?"
Sam picks up Allspark and moves it closer still to Optimus.
Sam: "Again, no more Allspark."
Megatron's expression is of pure hatred.
Megatron: "Very well then."
He calls off the Decepticons; he, Starscream, and Blackout fly off. (Scorponok wasn't present, and Barricade had already been driven off by Prowl.)

-At the end, Optimus and co. are on the Ark again, and open the space bridge to send a signal to Rodimus. They explain that a ceasefire with the Decepticons has been temporarily instated, the humans have placed the Allspark in a more secure facility, and the search for Sentinel and the Matrix is ongoing. Rodimus promises to send reinforcements, but adds that he can only spare a few for the time being, as Shockwave has been putting a lot of pressure on.

-Meanwhile, aboard the Nemesis (hidden in the Asteroid Belt) Megatron fumes over the way Witwicky had left his hands tied. Blackout assures him this will not be seen as a sign of weakness, Barricade instantly says otherwise. Megatron contacts Shockwave to also ask for reinforcements. "We will need Soundwave, the constructors... send everyone you can spare. We will kill every last Human and Autobot alike." He ends the call, Starscream reminds him that Cybertron should be the main priority, and he gives a noncommital grunt. Starscream narrows his eyes and turns away, and cut to credits.

5 Likes

RIP Jazz and Mirage

1 Like

RIP Jazz, Mirage... and more.

1 Like

yup, I know what's coming ;-;

and everyone else reading this, it's gonna be pretty heavy

1 Like

Just a quick update

It's currently a case of 'one step forward, three steps back' with Bridge To Desolation (AKA my take on Dark Of The Moon) right now, so it may take a bit longer than I had hoped to bring you the next update. Hopefully this block/derailment can be rectified soon.

3 Likes

Update to my update: I have things worked out and will have the second act of Bridge To Desolation written up soon; once that happens I will be able to put up the first act of Legacy Of The Fallen here.

2 Likes

Autobots: Optimus Prime, Ratchet, Ironhide, Prowl, Bumblebee, Bulkhead, Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Arcee, Flipsides.
Sentinel Prime and Nominus Prime also cameo.
Decepticons: Megatron, Starscream, Blackout, Scorponok, Barricade, Soundwave, Astrotrain, Ravage, Howlback, Slugfest, Skywarp, Beastbox, Demolisher, Mixmaster, Rampage, Jetfire, Swindle.
Shockwave also cameos.

-Opening scene is narrated by Megatron, explaining how The Fallen was punished for his casual disregard of a younger species, and the ideals the first Primes stood for. Cut to a grand audience hall as he concludes "They believed that not only survival, but freedom is the right of all sentient beings. If we are so caring for the smaller species, then must we not also care for one another? I implore the Autobot council to repeal the laws that hold this unjust, unofficial caste system in place." He bows, and in the audience, Orion Pax, Starscream, and Jetfire are seen clapping and Sentinel Prime looks uncertain; the four unaware they're surrounded by stony-faced Autobot nobles.
-Optimus takes over the narration here. "It was that night that my closest friend learnt of true defeat." Nominus Prime gives a disgusted smirk and a shake of the head, and younger Megatron's expression cycles from blankness to defeat to anger. "I tried my best," Outside, Orion sets a hand on the departing Megatron's shoulder, only for it to be brushed aside, "but my attempts only sped him faster onto a path of darkness."
-"I never really accepted what he would become. Not until it was much too late."
Transformers: Legacy Of The Fallen

-After credits, cut to the Nemesis, hiding out among the asteroid belt. Astrotrain arrives to dock, with Megatron, Starscream, and Blackout waiting for the new arrivals. Jetfire; Skywarp, Swindle; the constructors Demolisher, Rampage, & Mixmaster; and Soundwave and his contengient of minicons all exit, and Astrotrain forms into his rather massive robot mode. Megatron says "It's good to finally have you here. Now our three years of hiding are over."
-They head deeper into the ship; Soundwave asks Megatron if Barricade had kept proper care of Frenzy as promised, and Megatron informs him that his minicon was killed by the humans. Starscream, meanwhile, subtly pulls Jetfire aside and confides his suspicions that Megatron has lost sight of the Decepticon's original aims, but Jetfire wants no part in this drama.

-Cut to a black and white police car rushing down a road; pursuing it a few blocks behind is a white and blue police car of the exact same model.
-The first car pulls into a remote alley and transforms into Barricade; Prowl pulls up and transforms as well. After a tense silence, conversation ensues.
Barricade: "Why were you following me?"
Prowl: "Because you're a Decepticon. Sure, you've been acting on your best behavior these past few years, but it's still my job to make sure you're not up to no good." Points at Barricade with one hand, uses other hand to flick a small bug device onto one of Barricade's windows.
Barricade: "Well, I'm not. Now if you'll excuse me, I'd like to leave now."
Prowl: "By all means." Prowl stands aside. "Try not to come back."
Barricade transforms into vehicle mode and drives off in a huff

-Cut to Prowl returning to the Autobot headquarters on earth, an abandoned warehouse since dramatically upgraded. (They still have the Arc, but this lets them be a bit closer.) Here we're reintroduced to those Autobots from the first film, as well as the whopping total of four reinforcements Rodimus was able to spare - Arcee, Bulkhead, and the Twins. The twins being Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, of course; who were you expecting? We also see Mikaela learning about Cybertronian physiology from Ratchet. Anyway, Prowl explains he was able to plant the bug on Barricade as planned.

-Meanwhile, we catch up with Sam, packing for college. No weed brownie antics, no Bumblebee treated as a pet. Slight shenanigans because he's being driven to pack a week early by neurotic parents, but it's actually funny shenanigans that also serve a plot purpose; he rediscovers the box of his unsold memorabilia from Capt. Witwicky, and finds a recreation of the Captain's personal journal. He decides to reread it, now knowing what he knows about the nature of the 'iceman.'

-Aboard the Nemesis, the Decepticons gather for a meeting; Soundwave reports that after repairing the scanners, he was able to find not only the new location of the Allspark, but a much larger Cybertronian structure somewhere in Egypt. Interestingly, he found no sign of Sentinel or the Matrix of Leadership. Megatron confides that while following Sentinel, their course did seem to veer slightly toward the end. Regardless, for the time being Soundwave sends Ravage and Howlback to covertly retrieve the Allspark.

-First act ends on an action setpiece as the heist is carried out; thanks to the bug, the Autobots (with Lennox and Epps in tow, as the military's chief experts on and assistants to the Autobots.) arrive just as the minicons leave, but not soon enough to stop them or take the Allspark back.

3 Likes

I really got in the groove, it seems, and have entirely finished Bridge To Desolation. Thus, that means I may as well go ahead and post the next part of Legacy Of The Fallen.

Act 2
-Back aboard the Nemesis, Starscream pulls Barricade into a side hallway; in doing so, he unknowingly crushes the bug Prowl had planted. He shares his recent revelation about Megatron, and says he should be the leader. Barricade challenges him on this, but Starscream gives a successful argument, and the two begin plotting.

-Sam and Bumblebee arrive at the Autobot's base, and Sam tells Optimus he may have found some information of interest.
-Archibald Witwicky actually went on three expeditions; one to the Amazon river, one to New Zealand, and one to the Arctic. The first wasn't notable aside from a large portion of the crew dying and the family motto of "no sacrifice, no victory" being coined as a result, but the second took a strange turn. The group was staying in a cave during a thunderstorm, and Archibald wandered deeper in. No explanation was given in the next entry to what he found there, but he suddenly turned the expedition around, intent on making it back to england ASAP so as to set off for the Arctic. Several references to "icemen," a "lifecube," and a "pointercircle" permeated his writings well before he stumbled across Megatron.
-Optimus questions Simmons (now the Sector 7 liason, like an extremely zany version of Fowler) as to why this was never mentioned, but it turns out even they didn't know about this - the journal was, after all, an exclusively Witwicky family heirloom, and none of them thought his apparent insanity was worth talking about.
-Prowl informs everyone the bug has been destroyed; Optimus is certain that the Decepticons will be making some sort of move now that they have the Allspark, and wants to be able to counter it. Still, Archibald's journal does seem like an important clue - he sends Sam and Bumblebee, aided by Lennox, Epps, Sunstreaker, and Sideswipe to try to find the New Zealand cave in hopes it may lead them to the Matrix and Sentinel Prime.

-Back aboard the Nemesis, Megatron gathers everyone for a second status meeting; Astrotrain has Ravage and Howlback, on their way with the Allspark, so their next move needs to be planned. The Allspark can restore much of Cybertron, but Megatron still needs the Matrix to become a Prime, and furthermore, a great deal of Energon was consumed in the war, and now they're on the brink of the very shortage the Fallen predicted.
-In response to that, Soundwave interjects here, informing them that further scans of the large object in Egypt seem to have identified it as a Solar Needle; it mostly matches the descriptions given in the ancient texts. They discuss the practicality of uncovering and using it before the Autobots catch on, and quickly agree that Devastator is the most likely option for success.
-Demolisher butts in here, questioning why they're even going to all this trouble - in his view, it would be simpler to just invade Earth and cybermat it into a new home. This is met with anger; Starscream, Barricade, and Astrotrain all object, but are quickly outdone by Jetfire, who positively explodes against the Constructicon, giving a passionate tirade about Cybertron's importance, being the last gift Primus gave to them, and the need for compassion for lesser races than themselves.
-Megatron finally speaks up, however... To say that Jetfire has grown soft in his old age, and that all practical options must be considered. Jetfire leaves the meeting, and the ship altogether.
-Megatron decides the priority should be finding the Matrix; to that end he sends pretty much everyone to earth to take disguises and begin scouring. Soundwave, meanwhile, is to molest take over a satellite and hack in to as many places as he can to find any possible leads.

-Sam and co. travel through the rainforests of New Zealand, following the journal; the Autobots have taken up temporary alt-modes more suited to the environment. Sunstreaker annoys everyone with his complaining, and everyone's nerves are taut, but Sideswipe is able to calm the situation with his brotherlyness.

-Soundwave begins his hacking, but Maggie and Glen, the hackers, are alerted to this (not sure if they're with Pentagon, Sector 7, or Autobots) and try to counter him. Soundwave quickly identifies them and begins messing with their online information, access permissions, ect. Soundwave also learns of Sam's expedition and sends two of his minicons to follow. "Beastbox, Slugfest, eject!"

-Sam's group finally find the cave in a mountainside and head in; the Autobots have to duck to enter. They follow several twists and turns and a fairly sharp downward slope, but finally end up in a rather large cylindrical-shaped room with an ambiguous device in the middle.
-Bumblebee activates it, and they get a sudden flash of images; the Fallen building the Solar Needle, implanting some device at the peak of this mountain, and fighting the other Primes;.Next, they see Sentinel, Megatron, the Allspark, and the Matrix all falling through the atmosphere. The Allspark lands in the Colorado River, Megatron lands in the Arctic, and Sentinel grabs the Matrix right before crashing into someplace else that's very icy. Then is Archibald's expedition, and he himself gets visions from the device, then finally they see themselves standing there - only there are also two minicons present.
-They break free of the vision to find Slugfest and Beastbox in the room with them, and a fight instantly breaks out. Sunstreaker manages to kill Beastbox, but Slugfest fires a volley of rockets at the humans, distracting the Autobots with intercepting them so he can escape.
-Slugfest rushes out of the cave entrance, and no longer blocked by the room's interference, immediately contacts Soundwave.

-Soundwave receives the information, and together with some archive data, figures out where Sentinel Prime is. Unfortunately for him, his hacking-battle with Glen and Maggie goes both ways, and so they also learn what he knows - but immediately after, he finally shuts them down with a virus.
-Maggie and Glen contact Optimus Prime and Sam both; telling the former to keep and eye on Egypt, and the latter to go to Siberia ASAP.
-Soundwave decouples from the sattelite, and Astrotrain (having copied one of the space shuttles from a museum) floats into view behind him.

4 Likes

You should submit this stuff to Hollywood. I'd love to see it on the silver screen.

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Thanks! I'm considering it...

I agree, the stuff only gets better, trust me

RIP my rewrites

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Act 3
-Sam and company have returned to their plane (Whatever it was Optimus jumped out of in the beginning of ROTF) when they get the message from the hackers; they realize that the icy place they saw Sentinel at is in Siberia, and begin flying there. Astrotrain, with Soundwave aboard, begins descending to the same location.

-Megatron orders the other Decepticons to begin heading toward Egypt; his plan is to distract the Autobots from coming to the Siberia team's aid whilst Soundwave retrieves the Matrix and ensures Sentinel's death. If the Decepticons win in Egypt, they have their Energon and the Matrix and get to take revenge in the process; if they lose, they still have the Matrix. "And if there is one Harvester here, we know the Fallen left others among the stars." He concludes.

-Optimus was already in the Middle East investigating a rumored Decepticon sighting, and begins heading towards Egypt by road. He soon encounters Swindle, the one who had crashed down in the area, and the two immediately scuffle.
Swindle: "Okay, okay, have mercy! That's a really big sword you have there, please don't hurt me! I'll join your side, I will!"
Optimus: remembering previous encounters on Cybertron "I don't lead through intimidation. Would you follow me genuinely, or because of this sword?"
Swindle: "Uh, well..." Attacks Optimus again
Optimus eventually wins, more-or-less, but lets Swindle go and follows him, calling for the other Autobots to also begin mobilizing.

-There's something of a lull as everyone heads to their respective locations; aboard the plane headed to Siberia, conversation occurs. Everyone, even the Autobots, are put off by the flash of visions, but Sideswipe guesses that it was some sort of observation platform the Fallen set up to warn him of the other Primes. Some more general talk, and Sunstreaker's more positive qualities show through a bit.

-There's a bit of a timeskip as the sun sets and we fall into evening. Optimus covertly arrives at the Pyramid of Djoser, the first one ever built, where the Decepticons are still assembling. Megatron is positioning everyone present into a defensive ring around the pyramid, but they're still waiting on Demolisher.
-Jetfire arrives and begins speaking out against Megatron and demanding he stop. It turns into a fight, and Optimus bursts out of hiding to assist. Unfortunately, a combination of overwhelming numbers and a surprise attack from Scorponok leave the old Seeker in a bad way...

-The search team finds the spot they saw in the vision, (the mountains in the background are the same, maybe?) though Sentinel is nowhere to be found. Astrotrain and Soundwave quickly arrive, and a fight breaks out as Astrotrain uses his laser weapons to begin drilling through the ice...

-Demolisher comes rolling in, forcing Optimus and Jetfire to retreat. Devestator forms and begins scaling the pyramid, digging out portions of the Solar Needle (which the inner structure is built around, leaving the whole thing hidden despite being so well-explored) as he goes. The Autobots arrive with some NEST soldiers (and Simmons) soon after, and the battle begins in earnest. Simmons and Bulkhead manage to rush past Swindle's portion of the defense...

-Up in Siberia, the fight rages on, Bee and Sideswipe distracted with the Minicons as Sunstreaker leeroy jenkinses his way up to Soundwave. He manages to tear an arm off, but Soundwave shoots him through the Spark at the exact same moment...

-Devestator removes the top section of the pyramid to reveal the Solar Needle's controls, but is assaulted by Bulkhead. The two exchange dialogue and blows while Simmons, out of sight at the base of the thing, calls in a railgun strike. (No "beneath the enemy scrotum" here) The blast kills Mixmaster and Bulkhead, while Rampage and Demolisher tumble back down to join the defense, their job done. Megatron flies up to the top of the pyramid now, and finds the Fallen's gravity staff thing hidden inside…

-In grief and rage, Bee and Sideswipe turn to Astrotrain, grabbing his laser cannon and turning it around to melt through half of his face and badly damage Soundwave. Soundwave calls back his Minicons, and they all flee. Bee and Sideswipe try to pursue, but Lennox tells them to get the Matrix first.

-Megatron uses the staff to create a ring of floating rubble around the pyramid, which destroys several jet fighters, as he sets to work figuring out how to operate the Solar Needle. Jetfire is on the brink of death and tells Optimus to get up there; Optimus gets his oddly morbid jetpack upgrade. Bursting through the ring, Optimus arrives on the pyramid.
-He looks at Megatron, maniacal, wielding the weapon of the Fallen without hesitation, prepared to commit genocide without a second thought... and takes on a forlorn expression.
Megatron: "Why hello, Prime. Come to save the day?"
Optimus: "You should know something, Megatron."
Megatron: "Oh, so you're not going to try to stop me?"
Optimus: "I will, as I have before. But this is different now. Even during the thick of the war, when Cybertron burned and Autobots I had called friends fell at every turn, even when you extinguished Metroplex's spark and only laughed... I still had hope. I thought you could perhaps still be saved."
Megatron: "You mean controlled, bound. Kept silent and passive and in my place."
Optimus: "You still claim that as the reason for your actions, but your words have become hollow. You don't seek freedom anymore, just a new form of tyranny. And I... have only realized this now. You would kill a world for the sake of reviving a dead one as its conqueror. I see now what you have become."
Optimus: "You are now the Fallen. Not this machine, but you are the true legacy of evil left by the thirteenth Prime."
Orion Pax: "I'm sorry it had to be this way, my brother."

-What follows is one of the most brutal, and tragic, fight scenes yet. Optimus is no longer holding back, and the full strength of a Prime is brought to bear against Megatron. Megatron fights back, landing more than a few good hits that would have otherwise incapacitated any other opponent - but Optimus just ignores them and keeps attacking. The battle rages on outside, having devolved into a melee across the dunes, the humans helping where they can; at some point Rampage and Swindle go down. Throughout the fight, Optimus shows no anger, no fear - only a deep sadness and disappointment.
-Finally, Megatron is left too battered to go on, though he keeps trying to get up and activate the Needle. Optimus drags him away from the controls and throws him over the edge of the platform, and Megatron tumbles to the base of the structure. The Decepticons see this, and realizing they're going to lose, begin fleeing. Optimus makes to jump down and put his fallen friend out of his misery, but Starscream and Skywarp pick up their leader and fly off. The Autobots have won and begin celebrating, but Optimus... his spark just isn't in it.

-Montage as people return home. Mikaela helps Ratchet repair the injured bots, Simmons oversees as some of the Autobots begin dismantling the Solar Needle, Optimus is presented with a trailer that someone configured Jetfire's remains into, and the escaped Demolisher is hunted down and killed in Shanghai.
-Optimus ponders recent events, and how his faith in his own ideals has been shaken. He mourns the dead, listing both Autobots and Decepticons alike, and ends the list with Megatron. "Though he has undoubtedly survived even this encounter, I must no longer deny that the spirit of Megatron, my oldest and dearest friend, has been dead for... a very long time now."
-He turns to the unmoving body of Sentinel Prime, Matrix in hand. "I can only hope that the greatest of us all, my mentor, can bring peace to my troubled thoughts."

Credits

-Aboard the Nemesis, Blackout forces Starscream to use the Allspark to repair Megatron's damages, and the leader reawakens with nothing but vengeance on his mind.

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So I've finally finished the first act of Shadow Of The Void, meaning I can post this. (I actually finished that a couple weeks back, but I'm lazy and forgot to do this until today)
Hoping to finish this all up pretty soon.

I like how you manage to justify Optimus' more violent nature in your rewrites, and how you included the history of the Autobot-Decepticon war.

These are fantastic rewrites, and I'm eager to see your version of the third one.

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About time :stuck_out_tongue:

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