Inspired by this topic here, among other things, I began thinking a while ago about how I would rewrite the Bayformers movies to make them good. Not an easy task, let me tell you, but I think I've got something workable. While it would take a lot more from and be more faithful to other incarnations of the franchise, the goal was to try to take many of the existing concepts as they are in the Bayformers movies and attempt to tweak them just a bit in order to turn crap into gold. Whether I've succeeded or not is up to you to decide, but at least I can say I'm giving it my best shot.
Before I really get into things, though, let me start with the simplest of things: A cast list, and a history.
Humans (Basically the main cast of the first movie and literally nobody else)
Archibald Witwicky (Posthumous character)
Sam Witwicky (less annoying but still Shia)
Optimus Prime - Peterbilt 379 Semi
Sentinel Prime - Rosenbauer Panther Fire Truck
Rodimus Prime - Chevrolet Camaro
Ironhide - GMC Topkick C4500
Ratchet - Hummer H2 Ambulance
Wheeljack - Mercedes Benz E550
Arcee - Ducati 848
Prowl - Saleen S281 Police Car
Bumblebee - Volkswagen Beetle
Jazz - Pontiac Solstice
Sideswipe - Chevrolet Corvette Stingray
Bulkhead - SWAT Lenco Bearcat
Crosshairs - Chevrolet Corvette C7 Stingray
Chromia - Suzuki B-King
Tigatron - Robotic Tiger/!Something!
Megatron - Cybertronian Tank/Cybertronian Jet
Jetfire - Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird
Starscream - F-22 Raptor
Blackout - MH-53J Pave Low III Helicopter
Blackarachnia - Robotic Spider/!Sports Car!
Shockwave - Sikorsky CH-53E Super Stallion
Soundwave - Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG
Barricade - Saleen S281 Police Car
Lockdown - Lamborghini Aventador LP 700-4 Coupe
Demolisher - Terex RH400 Mining Excavator/ Devastator's legs
Astrotrain - Shuttle Enterprise/British Rail Class 390 Electric Train
Scorponok - Robotic Scorpion/!Dune Buggy!
Frenzy - PGX Boombox
Brawl - M1 Abrams Army Tank
Bonecrusher - Buffalo H Mine-Protected Vehicle
Ravage - Robotic Jaguar/!Something!
Howlback - Robotic Wolf/???
Slugfest - Robotic Stegasaur/???
Skywarp - F-35 Lightning II
Beastbox - Robotic Gorilla/???
Mixmaster - Mack Granite Cement Mixer/Devastator's head and torso
Rampage - Komatsu D575A Bulldozer/Devastator's arms
Lazerbeak - Robotic Condor/!Something!
Onslaught (Bruticus' head & upper torso)
Blast Off (Bruticus' arms)
Vortex (Bruticus' lower torso & legs)
-Quintessons create the Allspark, which creates the Transformer race.
-Seperately, the Quintessons create two planet-sized transformers, Primus and Unicron. Both go wrong; Primus objecting to the Quintessons' abusive rule over his smaller bretheren, and Unicron just decides to destroy everything.
-Primus fights Unicron and weakens him badly; Unicron goes into permanent slumber. Primus dies in the process.
-Transformers create an underground resistance against the Quintessons, led by a group of thirteen named in honor of Primus, empowered by a special artifact called the Matrix Of Leadership.
-First Primes rebel against Quintessons, banishing them to the edge of the galaxy, and establish Cybertron from Primus' corpse.
-Thirteenth Prime forsees an eventual depletion of Energon, and becomes obsessed with collecting it; he establishes machines in several systems that convert their suns' power into energon, called Solar Needles.
-Other Primes discover that there's life on one of the planets he plans to use for collection, and confront him. He is unrepentant, and they strip away his rank and name; he becomes the Fallen. They fight, and kill the Fallen and grind his remains to dust.
-On the way out, they ask the Ancient Egyptians to find some way of covering the Solar Needle so it cannot be used. BAM, Pyramids.
-transformer named Ultra Magnus redesigns the Cybertronian system of government; for this he is recognized as an honorary Prime. Part of the revision is to reduce the number of Primes from twelve to two, one apprentice and one teacher.
-much, much later-
-Young bot named Megatron notices (mostly through personal experience) that Ultra Magnus's 'Autobot' model has decayed into an unspoken caste system, and seeks to create a more egalitarian government. With several other low-caste bots and the support of a high-caste bot named Orion Pax, he sets out on a political crusade... only to be brutally shut down at every turn by the reigning Nominus Prime.
-Despite Orion's urgings for peace, Megatron becomes incredibly bitter, and eventually decides that force is the only way to enact the necessary change. He and his followers name themselves the Decepticons and begin a more violent revolution.
-Orion Pax disagrees with this approach, and the two part ways.
-The Autobot council, a bunch of elitist jerks determined to quell support for the Decepticons, assassinates Nominus Prime and frames the Decepticons, but Orion uncovers the conspiracy. Sentinel Prime, Nominus' successor, is convinced and renames Orion his apprentice - Optimus Prime.
-Optimus and Sentinel attempt to reconvene with Megatron, but he suspects it is another trick and refuses to attend.
-Decepticon attacks slowly ramp up; despite Optimus' reluctance to give up on Megatron, Sentinel's sympathy does not override his practicality, and he begins fighting back.
-From there, the conflict grows into full-scale civil war that devastates Cybertron.
-Lockdown, a neutral party, takes a small shuttle and departs from Cybertron, heading towards the edges of the galaxy with the intent of avoiding the war altogether.
-A decade or so later, he returns, both his ship and his body... changed, and pledges his allegiance to Megatron.
-Megatron launches a covert attack meant to capture the Allspark and the Matrix of Leadership, so as to be able to restore and claim Cybertron after defeating the Autobots. It fails, but Sentinel Prime decides that it isn't safe for the artifacts to remain on Cybertron.
-Before leaving, Sentinel selects Hot Rod, Optimus' most faithful lieutenant to become Rodimus Prime, serving as Optimus' second-in-command for the duration of Sentinel's potentially permanent absence.
-Sentinel blasts off for destinations unknown with cube and matrix in tow; Megatron quickly gives chase.
-Starscream does his best, but in the absence of Megatron's moralizing presence, the Decepticons begin to falter, and the Autobots make considerable ground.
-Starscream decides that Matrix or no Matrix, the Decepticons need Megatron back soon.
-To that end, he launches an unexpected counterattack that leaves the Autobots reeling, then in the confusion slips away in the Nemesis with a small group of Decepticons; their mission being to track down Megatron and bring him back post-haste.
-Optimus finds out, and leaving Rodimus in charge, leads his own expedition in the Arc to catch up and prevent Megatron from returning, bringing a mobile space bridge to facilitate their return.
-When Sentinel Prime leaves, the Matrix and Allspark detect the presence of the Solar Needle on the (relatively) nearby Earth, and subtly steer his course towards that.
-Megatron catches up with him and the two fight; the two 'bots and two artifacts separate out but maintain their trajectory, crash-landing in different corners of the Earth sometime during the late medieval period.
-A few centuries later, an explorer named Archibald Witwicky discovers Megatron in the arctic, and gets the location of the Allspark imprinted onto his glasses.
-In the twentieth century, the Allspark is discovered, and the Hoover Dam built around it.
-The transformers movies, but much better. Details to come in the next text wall.