(GAME) Resume Padding

You’re broke. You need a job. The problem is, you haven’t done anything significant in your life due to spending all your time on an Internet forum about a toy line that ended ten years ago. Seriously, 20 DAYS of read time. So, your plan? Make your resume sound as professional as you can, even if what it actually did is really, really monotonous.

EXAMPLE POST:

(The previous post would have said “I changed a lightbulb)

I single-handedly reestablished a light emitting apparatus without the use of tools of any kind.

I can drive a car

10 Likes

I have the knowledge needed to successfully operate the most widespread weapon of our day and age.

I don’t drink coffee

2 Likes

I have restrained from consuming focus enhancing drugs
I have a large collection of Bionicle and LEGO

2 Likes

i have devoted a substantial amount to preserving one of the most important influences on our modern day culture

i have listened to the entire beatles discography

(not actually just an example)

1 Like

I have observed the entirety of a collection of sacred sounds, reflecting on each extensively.

I like omelets.

I have travelled the world and studied under some of the finest and most esteemed chefs on the planet with the long term goal of carefully concocting the perfect folded egg dish.

I enjoy vexillology.

I use strange scientific sounding words that you won’t bother to look up ,but instead will place faith in the idea it’s an actual scientific field, making me sound smart and informed.

My room isn’t clean.

1 Like

I enjoy enforcing an atmosphere of … homeliness, in my abode.

I’m aN ArTisT

3 Likes

I am good at using colors and shapes to communicate my feelings.
I play an instrument.

I regularly partake in the activity of translating symbols into a universal language.

I play D&D

2 Likes

I allow myself to delve into the world of fantasy, predominately through the use of dice, paper, math, a vindictive guy hiding behind a cardboard wall, and occasionally poorly painted plastic figurines.

I can juggle.

2 Likes

I can manipulate objects using nothing but my five digit grasping tools, and can throw them up and catch them over and over again.

I can fly a plane.

I can fly a plane.

I worked at the library.

10 Likes

During my youth I partook in storing, sorting, and distributing important records.

I’ve cut down a tree

1 Like

I have performed a legal execution of a veganfolk.

I did surgery on a grape

2 Likes

I have been forced to perform a triple bypass on the ovaries of the Vitis plant, more commonly known as the grapevine.

I like cartography

I suffer from an addiction to worldbuilding, to the extent that I make detailed diagrams of places that actually exist.

wait-

What I meant to say was, I draw out the paths of beachcombers on every continent, island, peninsula, and pole, for the purposes of identification of land masses and determining location whether on land or at sea.

I play pokemon go

3 Likes

I spendeth mine free time playingst a game in which one holds his tele-phone and lookeths aroundeths for fictional creatures.
I started the Do MU Inhabitants Have Fingers topic

I proposed a philosophical question to many beings of high intellect, and even their collective minds could not comprehend the entirety of the quarry.

I go for a jog some days

1 Like

I move my femur, patella, tibia and fibula in a pattern so that i propel myself forwards for recreational and exercise purposes.

I voted for a pink Pouks.

1 Like