A 5 dimensional horse enters the garage. It turns left, then right, then finds an intersection. Where next?
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5 dimensional horse decides to take Matau’s advice and turn right. He loses and immediately disintegrates.
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We’ll, at least he was close to the door…
He wasn’t closer than twelve miles from the door.
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Another horse spawns. His name is Left, so he decides to go left.
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Carnivorous horse appears and devours Left before he can make another move.
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Because he had devoured Left, Carnivorous horse is forced to turn left.
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Unfortunately, Carnivorous Horse is not advanced enough to detect that he is walking directly into a vegan street fair. With no meat in sight, Carnivorous Horse perishes.
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A new horse appears in the garage. But this is no new horse. Having fought the cruelty of the world for many years, this horse stands broken and alone. Not even remembering their own name, the horse does not even stop to consider this new situation. Marching ever forward, they reached a crossroads. For the briefest of moments, the horse pauses. A choice has not been presented to this weary beast for such a long time. At least not one they had any agency over. But this flickering memory of a horse they once were fades fast. The horse without a name trots left.
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XD this game.
After some time, the horse in need of amnesia treatment and therapy reaches an intersection and turns right, saving itself by heading in the direction of a therapy office.
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A new horse spawns but is it new? This horse has come to the profound realization they may in fact be the same horse reincarnated over and over with variations on their identity. Forced to comply with the whims of uncaring gods on a playing field of unimaginable power to the horse. The horse has had enough. The horse goes left
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This horse goes left again and, unfortunately, walks directly into a glue factory, resigned to its fate and desiring to end the cycle.
However, to this horse’s dismay, this is a modern glue factory, and the horse is able to pass through unprocessed. It goes on to have a long and prosperous life, but now and then dwelling on the moral complexity of its various existences.
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Sensing the tone has gotten a little dark in this garage, the new horse struts out to try some stand up. They have been working on their tight five, but clearly not enough. They bomb, hard. And as is the way of the theatre, they get the hook, vaudeville style. Not by choice, the horse is yanked right.
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the horse, disgruntled, tries to reenter stage right by taking a left, but trips on a banana peel dropped by the next act. Sadly, the horse is allergic to banana peels, and trips, falls offstage, and dies by smashing its horsey head into a tuba.
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One of the audience members from the theating is also a horse. She quickly runs right to get to the stage to try and help the vaudeville horse.
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Unfortunately, the horse has already passed. Distraught, the audience members carry the deceased out on a stretcher, destined to get turned into glue or something. But the theating(?) horse has already left.
She goes on to become a horse rights activist, but all the horses prefer to turn left, so it goes nowhere.
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It’s been so long since I’ve been on the boards, and my life has changed so drastically in comparison to when I originally made this stupid silly post. I remember this idea originally had me cracking up to myself. Warms my heart when I see my email give me a notification about a new reply. Thanks guys, glad this was as entertaining as I expected.
Horse moves left.
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The horse goes left again and dies, because no amount of sentimentality will stop me from killing horses.
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new horse
new left
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same left
same death
new horse. it goes right.