I almost make it to the end then I find out about this :P.
But now that I’m finally caught up with this I should be able to join in as this next case comes out. Whenever that may be. Before On Air Hopefully :P.
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#Episode 3: The Traitorous Turnabout
August 5th, 12:57 PM.
Varponok Autopsy Agencies.
Varponok: …Well, Kahi. I think I’ve taught you enough of my work for the time being. I think it’s finally time you see my action as a lawyer. I will meet you at the courthouse at 2:00.
Kahi: Very well sir. So, uh. What’s the case about?
Varponok: Oh, just a hit and run case. I have to defend the guy accused of the crime. I think his name is Eljay?
Kahi: Weird name. Anyways, what’s the evidence show?
Varponok: It’s an odd case. There are conflicting viewpoints, but I think I can make a good case. After all, Prosecutor Slime is a guy I’ve dealt with before. I know his tricks.
Cronk: Don’t worry, Kahi. I’ve given him enough evidence to make his case against Slime. Plus, Varponok’s analysis skills will make this an open and shut case.
http://board.ttvpodcast.com/uploads/db5640/original/3X/c/e/cebc805892ff3dbbf049f30ad724ea0f3aaed3d4.jpg
Varponok: Right. Anyways, I have to go, Kahi. See you guys both at the courthouse. Don’t forget, Kahi. 2:00.
Kahi: I won’t forget.
Varponok: You’d better not. Goodbye, Kahi.
##CRASH
“Ugh… That hurts… Not exactly the most comfortable position.”
…
“I need to grab my phone… Errgh… Got it… Ugh…”
RING
“Pick up… Please.”
“Please pick up.”
“Kahi… Ugh… Hi. You need to get to the courthouse… What’s wrong? I’ve gotten into a crash… Someone hit me. Bleeding everywhere. Not sure how long I’ll be conscious. Look, I need you to get to the court house and take the case. Please. The defendant, he’s not guilty. I know he’s not now. Please… Take the case…”
Beep
Kahi: Oh no… There has never been a worse day… I’m not prepared for this. But, the defendant. He needs someone to defend him. I need to take this case, even if I have no idea what I’m doing. Oh well. Here goes nothing…
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*Starts case on Thanksgiving.
*Parade is coming on.
*Family everywhere.
*Notifications are broken
Alright.
Take the case, and call 911 for Var.
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That’s not how it works, bruh. You can always call 911 for Var, though.
“Emergency? I have a huge emergency. There was a crash… A huge crash… Where? I dunno… My boss just called me about it… You already got calls on this? Alright… Goodbye then…”
Kahi: “Well, Eljay needs some defense. Time to go in and defend him.”
District Courthouse #2
2:00 pm.
Eljay: So you’re the guy who’s gonna defend me, huh?
Kahi: Well, my mentor originally was, but he got into a fatal accident.
Eljay: Um… Why?
Kahi: No idea, but hey, at least you got me!
Eljay: Have you ever defended someone in court before?
Kahi: Um… No, not really. You’ll be my first person I’ll ever defend.
Eljay: Wonderful… Just wonderful…
Bailiff: The trial is about to start. Come on in, guys.
District Courthouse #2.
2:03 pm.
Venom: Alright, skrubs, settle down. Court is now in session for the Trial of Eljay for the murder of Pot8o. Hmm… Who is the defense attorney here? I thought Mr. Varponok was supposed to be the defense?
Kahi: I’m his apprentice, sir. Mr. Varponok got into an accident, so, uh, I’m here to take his place.
Venom: Ah, very well. Since you are new around here, I suppose you should get to know somethings.
Kahi: No, I’m fine. I have all the evidence prepared. I’m just nervous, that’s all.
Slime: Heh. Looks like this case will be easier than I thought, seeing that Varponok is out now. This n00by skrub should be easy to beat.
Kahi: (Nooby Scrub? What kind of insult is that?)
Slime: Hah. You even have that amateur look when you’re thinking. I don’t think you’re familiar with me, are you?
Kahi: Not really.
Slime: I’m the Slaim-Slammer. You’ve just met your match, skrub.
Kahi: (Scrub… What kind of an insult is that? Seriously? What the heck!)
Venom: We’re getting off track here. Anyways, let the session begin. Your opening word, Mr. Slime.
Slime: Thank you, your honor. On the afternoon of June 14th, Mr. Lewa “Eljay” Johnson was distracted on his phone playing “cookie clicker” when he ran over our victim, Pot8o, on his way to the TTV studios. But he didn’t stop once he hit poor Pot8o. Oh no, instead he drove off. A true hit and run. So our first witness we’ll bring up is a TTV Moderator who investigated the scene.
Kahi: (And who is that gonna be?)
Chronk: Chronicler ModSquad, reporting for duty!
Kahi: Oh no… I’m not ready for cross-examination…
Slime: Good to see you again, Chronicler. You may begin your testimony when ready.
Chronicler: Well, let’s start out with the basics. On June 14th at 3:37 pm Pot8o was the victim of a hit and run by Mr. Eljay, the defendant, when Eljay was driving distracted. The autopsy provided states that Mr. Pot8o took a big impact was was then smashed onto the concrete of the sidewalk, which made sense considering that this is a hit and run.
The phone we recovered from Eljay showed that he had started playing Cookie Clicker around 3:36, meaning that he had played the game for around a minute when he hit poor pot8o. We have a list of records on what Eljay was doing at the time.
Also found on the car was the remains of mashed potatoes on the tire, definitely the sign of a hit and run. We even have a photograph of Mr. Pot8o’s remains for the court to see.
Kahi: (Drat. This looks like an open and shut case right now. There has to be something wrong somewhere!)
Evidence:
My most important badge; tells people that I’m an attorney.
Picture of incident.
Autopsy:
Pot8o faced a large impact followed by a squish, parts of him becoming mashed potatoes. He was killed at 3:37 pm approximately. Practically split in half.
Phone Records:
Ask to view them.
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CALLED IT
That’s funny, why is pot8o on the sidewalk?
Cronk: Well, uh, if you look closely at the picture, you can see tire tracks close to where the victim’s body is. Analyzing the scene, it was a case of hit and run, with Eljay’s car running over the victim’s body. I even have a picture of the tire to prove that he ran over poor Pot8o.
(Picture of tire added to Court Records.)
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How come we can’t see any tire tracks on Po8o’s body? If the car ran over him it would need to have the tire split the body in half like it is shown.
And if the car ran off then how come potato parts are still on the sidewalk rather than the road?
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Kahi: There’s one thing I fail to understand, Mr. ModSquad.
Cronk: And what’s that?
Kahi: Why are there no tire tracks on Pot8o’s body?
Slime: What are you trying to say?
Kahi: Ugh. Do I have to spell it out for you guys? Look at the picture.
Kahi: While we see tire tracks on the side of the road, the tracks are apparently absent on the body of the victim. So if he was ran over by the truck and the tire got potato all over it, why is there no tracks to begin with?
Kahi: Also, why would the body be split in half if the car, if anything, would have squished him? This doesn’t add up.
Slime: There’s a simple explanation for this. The car is very heavy, is it not?
Kahi: Yes, the car is heavy, what are you suggesting?
Slime: I’m suggesting that the car would be so heavy that it splits the potato in half.
Kahi: Ah, but you’re forgetting one thing, Slime. There’s no impressed tracks on the potato. This means that the car could NOT have hit and killed Pot8o by running him over if he even tried.
Slime: But this proves nothing. All that is circumstantial. Wouldn’t you agree, your Honor?
Venom: I do have to admit that much of that would be circumstantial to the event, but nonetheless, it’s still a probability.
Slime: Besides, this doesn’t prove that Eljay still wasn’t on his phone. We have records for that. But I don’t suppose you’d like to see them.
My most important badge; tells people that I’m an attorney.
Picture of incident.
Autopsy:
Pot8o faced a large impact followed by a squish, parts of him becoming mashed potatoes. He was killed at 3:37 pm approximately. Practically split in half.
http://board.ttvpodcast.com/uploads/db5640/original/3X/b/8/b80c3722f95cbe490061f010ac543a61908c6e29.jpg
Picture of tire.
Phone Records:
Ask to view them.
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Cronk: Here, sir. It’s the phone records list we pulled from the phone that was on Eljay.
List:
3:03 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:04 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:05 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:26 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:30 PM: Message from Varponok
3:31 PM: Internet use.
3:35 PM: Began playing cookie clicker.
http://board.ttvpodcast.com/uploads/db5640/original/3X/6/e/6eef45a135a05a7a80d86ba9fff74eb9ff3fa74c.jpg
Kahi: I would like to see the messages on this list, if I am allowed to.
Venom: Nothing says you can’t.
Slime: Well, I guess that means I’ll have to reveal another piece of evidence I wasn’t prepared to show, but here it is. It’s Eljay’s iPhone. We found it on him when he was arrested. It has his fingerprints all over it.
Messages:
3:03: Hey Alena.
Alena? You there?
3:04: I got your messages from earlier. Are you sure you don’t wanna be on today’s podcast?
3:05: I wish you would respond, Alena.
3:26: I’m coming over to pick you up. See you soon.
3:30: Look, are you going to be on the podcast or not? You haven’t shown up yet. It’s frustrating me.
If I’m remembering correctly, Eljay doesn’t have an iPhone. It was mentioned in one of the earlier 160’s episodes (163 or 164, I think) that he has some sort of 2002-issue Nokia (or something similar).
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#SLAM
Kahi: There’s a major problem with this proposition, Slime. Eljay doesn’t have an iPhone.
Slime: Uh… What?
Kahi: According to one of the earlier TTV episodes, Eljay said he owns a Nokia phone, NOT an iPhone. This cannot be his phone!
Slime: Is that it? That’s your only reason why it’s not his?
Kahi: Well, I mean… I could add more, but…
Slime: Then don’t waste our time and add onto it!
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Earlier, (when he was first called to the witness stand) Chronk clearly stated the following.
But later, when the phone records were shown, they contained the following information.
Not sure if this is directly connected to whether Eljay owned the iPhone or not, but I felt that this contradiction was worthy of note.
Wait the phone has messages addressed FROM Eljay. Meaning that this can’t be his phone, this is Alena’s phone because Eljay’s messages ask for where she is.
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What if “Eljay” is actually Alena in disguise? She’s posing as Eljay, and was getting annoyed by him so she killed pot8o to frame Eljay so he wouldn’t annoy her anymore.
Kahi: Let’s take a closer look at these messages, then.
Kahi: There is something very peculiar about this: the messages are FROM Eljay and address to ALENA. I dunno about you, but I know not even Eljay is desperate enough to message HIMSELF on a phone.
Slime: Then who’s phone is it? And why did Eljay have it on him?
Kahi: Ah, now we’re asking the logical questions! The answer is simple: the phone belongs to Alena. I don’t know how, but there was a switch off between 3:26 and 3:30.
Slime: And how will you prove that, huh? How do you prove that they switched it off? You still haven’t proven anything yet.
Kahi: I can prove one thing: There is a timing contradiction in Chronicler’s testimony on when Eljay began to play Cookie Clicker. Chronicler said 3:36, but the phone says 3:35. Is there a reason for this?
Cronk: Just a mistake, really. Sorry pal.
Kahi: (Alright, now to focus on proving that the phone we have is Alena’s.)
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How was there a switch off? Simple.
Eljay and Alena were in the same car.