Request to see messages.
http://board.ttvpodcast.com/uploads/db5640/original/3X/6/e/6eef45a135a05a7a80d86ba9fff74eb9ff3fa74c.jpg
Kahi: I would like to see the messages on this list, if I am allowed to.
Venom: Nothing says you can’t.
Slime: Well, I guess that means I’ll have to reveal another piece of evidence I wasn’t prepared to show, but here it is. It’s Eljay’s iPhone. We found it on him when he was arrested. It has his fingerprints all over it.
Messages:
3:03: Hey Alena.
Alena? You there?
3:04: I got your messages from earlier. Are you sure you don’t wanna be on today’s podcast?
3:05: I wish you would respond, Alena.
3:26: I’m coming over to pick you up. See you soon.
3:30: Look, are you going to be on the podcast or not? You haven’t shown up yet. It’s frustrating me.
If I’m remembering correctly, Eljay doesn’t have an iPhone. It was mentioned in one of the earlier 160’s episodes (163 or 164, I think) that he has some sort of 2002-issue Nokia (or something similar).
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#SLAM
Kahi: There’s a major problem with this proposition, Slime. Eljay doesn’t have an iPhone.
Slime: Uh… What?
Kahi: According to one of the earlier TTV episodes, Eljay said he owns a Nokia phone, NOT an iPhone. This cannot be his phone!
Slime: Is that it? That’s your only reason why it’s not his?
Kahi: Well, I mean… I could add more, but…
Slime: Then don’t waste our time and add onto it!
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Earlier, (when he was first called to the witness stand) Chronk clearly stated the following.
But later, when the phone records were shown, they contained the following information.
Not sure if this is directly connected to whether Eljay owned the iPhone or not, but I felt that this contradiction was worthy of note.
Wait the phone has messages addressed FROM Eljay. Meaning that this can’t be his phone, this is Alena’s phone because Eljay’s messages ask for where she is.
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What if “Eljay” is actually Alena in disguise? She’s posing as Eljay, and was getting annoyed by him so she killed pot8o to frame Eljay so he wouldn’t annoy her anymore.
Kahi: Let’s take a closer look at these messages, then.
Kahi: There is something very peculiar about this: the messages are FROM Eljay and address to ALENA. I dunno about you, but I know not even Eljay is desperate enough to message HIMSELF on a phone.
Slime: Then who’s phone is it? And why did Eljay have it on him?
Kahi: Ah, now we’re asking the logical questions! The answer is simple: the phone belongs to Alena. I don’t know how, but there was a switch off between 3:26 and 3:30.
Slime: And how will you prove that, huh? How do you prove that they switched it off? You still haven’t proven anything yet.
Kahi: I can prove one thing: There is a timing contradiction in Chronicler’s testimony on when Eljay began to play Cookie Clicker. Chronicler said 3:36, but the phone says 3:35. Is there a reason for this?
Cronk: Just a mistake, really. Sorry pal.
Kahi: (Alright, now to focus on proving that the phone we have is Alena’s.)
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How was there a switch off? Simple.
Eljay and Alena were in the same car.
Kahi: Simple, Slime! They were in the same car! They could have switched it there!
Slime: Heh… I got you caught now, Kahi. It has to be Eljay’s phone for one reason: there are nobody but Eljay’s prints on the phone!
Kahi: Excuse me?
Slime: Look at the fingerprints analysis.
FINGER PRINT ANALYSIS:
The phone only had Eljay’s fingerprints on it in the shape of him grasping onto it with his right hand. Also, his finger prints were all over the screen.
Kahi: So you with-held this evidence until now to catch me in a trap?
Slime: They don’t call me the Slammer for nothing.
Kahi: (If Alena’s fingerprints are missing, how do I prove it’s her phone? We have the blatant messages from Eljay to the phone, so that has to be some proof. But her fingerprints are missing.)
Kahi: (Varponok was right… This case doesn’t have an easy answer.)
Can we get a copy of the messages? Perhaps they’ll have a clue.
We already have them:
3:03: Hey Alena.
Alena? You there?
3:04: I got your messages from earlier. Are you sure you don’t wanna be on today’s podcast?
3:05: I wish you would respond, Alena.
3:26: I’m coming over to pick you up. See you soon.
3:30: Look, are you going to be on the podcast or not? You haven’t shown up yet. It’s frustrating me.
Whoops, that was a stupid overlook, I read those :P.
We haven’t’ seen Message from Varponok yet though have we?
The last one is a message from him, because they correlate at the same times as the Phone Records show.
Eljay’s right handed right? The fingerprints show that he grabbed the phone with his right hand. If you’re right handed you hold the phone in your left hand and tap with your right. All this evidence shoes is that he grabbed it.
Kahi: Prosecutor Slime, your evidence does NOTHING to make your case!
Slime: How so?
Kahi: Because all it proves is that Eljay would have GRABBED it. Nothing more, nothing less! This does NOT prove that Eljay owned the phone to begin with!
Kahi: All the evidence shows that this had to be the result of a trade-off!
Slime: AGH! No!
Kahi: Moreover, I think it really comes down to this fact: that phone is NOT Eljay’s!
Cronk: Kahi has a great point there!
Slime: Yeah, sure sure… You have a good point that the phone doesn’t belong to him. However, you’re missing something.
Kahi: What am I missing?
Slime: None of this proves that Eljay wasn’t distracted when he drove his car, does it?
Kahi: What do you mean?
Slime: It doesn’t matter whether the phone is HIS or not… All that matters is that Eljay hit Pot8o. And so far, you haven’t been able to prove that he hasn’t. He still played Cookie Clicker at 3:36, and he still ran over him. Sure, the tires didn’t make a track, but what does that prove? Nothing! All of it is circumstantial!
Kahi: Wha-? NOOOOOOOOO!
Venom: Hmm… Slime brings up a good point. None of this has proven anything, really. All this bickering about a phone… What has it done to prove that Eljay was not guilty?
Slime: Exactly, your honor. It doesn’t do squat.
Kahi: (Gah… What have I done? None of this proves my point… Think! Think! There has to be something I’m missing!)
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Hmm…
- remembers something *
Ooh, that could work.
In post 411 (according to the little counter in the bottom-right-corner) I noted that there was a discrepancy in the times listed for when Eljay was allegedly playing Cookie Clicker.
It didn’t help with identifying the owner of the phone at all (truth be told, I didn’t think it would; I did, however, think that it warranted being mentioned at the time) but it might take on some importance now.
I would have simply quoted myself and avoided that bit of convoluted explanation, but there was a rather grievous formatting error no matter what I tried, and it kinda forced my hand.
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They call him the Slammer for a reason I’m legally not allowed to say
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Kahi: There is one thing that’s been bothering me about Cronk’s testimony. He says Eljay was playing cookie clicker at 3:36, when he really did it at 3:35, according to the time. How long did he play the game for?
Slime: He played it for however long it takes to play cookie clicker. I dunno. Perhaps you should ask him.
Kahi: So then it would be alright if you called the next witness?
Slime: Now hold on a second, I’m still trying to make my case.
BANG
Venom: In favor of the defense, I feel it would be better to move onto our next witness, as I still am a bit conflicted myself with this case. Perhaps another witness would be suitable. Slime, call your next witness.
Slime: I feel we could get more done if we called the defendant up.
Kahi: (Now’s my chance. Eljay can tell his side of the story and I can finally win this case. For Varponok.)
Eljay: Er, hi.
Slime: Let’s get down to the point. You’re Eljay, a TTV cast member, worker for irrigation, blahdy blah blah.
Kahi: Your Honor, Slime just went against the order of conduct for a court case! He should receive a penalty for disobeying conduct.
Slime: Wha-? What did I do that was wrong?! I was just trying to get the cross-examination over with! You should be thankful.
Venom: Eh, i’ll let it slide.
Kahi: (Ugh. This is the worse court ever.)
Eljay: It was June 14th when I decided I wanted to take a bit of a trip with my girlfriend, Alena, before I headed off to work. I sent her plenty of messages on my phone in order for her to know when I would pick her up, and when I did, we had a good time.
Eventually, I headed over to work at the TTV Building and went inside as she stayed in the car. It was, what, 3:20 at the time? Anyways, I decided to get out my phone and play some cookie clicker as I waited for Alena to get here from home. I played cookie clicker on MY phone, as shown on the records.
Anyways, I didn’t run over any potatoes, if that’s what the prosecution wants to know! I’d never harm a poor potato in my life! And no, I am NOT from Idaho! Why does everyone ask me that?
Phone Records:
3:03 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:04 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:05 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:26 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:30 PM: Message from Varponok
3:31 PM: Internet use.
3:35 PM: Began playing cookie clicker.
Phone Contents:
3:03: Hey Alena.
Alena? You there?
3:04: I got your messages from earlier. Are you sure you don’t wanna be on today’s podcast?
3:05: I wish you would respond, Alena.
3:26: I’m coming over to pick you up. See you soon.
3:30: Look, are you going to be on the podcast or not? You haven’t shown up yet. It’s frustrating me.
Autopsy:
Pot8o faced a large impact followed by a squish, parts of him becoming mashed potatoes. He was killed at 3:37 pm approximately. Practically split in half.
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First off, every time the possibility of Eljay and Alena being in a relationship has been brought up, Eljay has vehemently stated time and time again that he is not Alena’s boyfriend (not matter how much Alena states the contrary). So that’s a proverbial red flag.
Secondly, Eljay said “girlfriends” plural, and then mentioned only one name, specifically “Alena”.
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