Kahi: Simple, Slime! They were in the same car! They could have switched it there!
Slime: Heh… I got you caught now, Kahi. It has to be Eljay’s phone for one reason: there are nobody but Eljay’s prints on the phone!
Kahi: Excuse me?
Slime: Look at the fingerprints analysis.
FINGER PRINT ANALYSIS:
The phone only had Eljay’s fingerprints on it in the shape of him grasping onto it with his right hand. Also, his finger prints were all over the screen.
Kahi: So you with-held this evidence until now to catch me in a trap?
Slime: They don’t call me the Slammer for nothing.
Kahi: (If Alena’s fingerprints are missing, how do I prove it’s her phone? We have the blatant messages from Eljay to the phone, so that has to be some proof. But her fingerprints are missing.)
Kahi: (Varponok was right… This case doesn’t have an easy answer.)
3:03: Hey Alena.
Alena? You there?
3:04: I got your messages from earlier. Are you sure you don’t wanna be on today’s podcast?
3:05: I wish you would respond, Alena.
3:26: I’m coming over to pick you up. See you soon.
3:30: Look, are you going to be on the podcast or not? You haven’t shown up yet. It’s frustrating me.
Eljay’s right handed right? The fingerprints show that he grabbed the phone with his right hand. If you’re right handed you hold the phone in your left hand and tap with your right. All this evidence shoes is that he grabbed it.
Kahi: All the evidence shows that this had to be the result of a trade-off!
Slime: AGH! No!
Kahi: Moreover, I think it really comes down to this fact: that phone is NOT Eljay’s!
Cronk: Kahi has a great point there!
Slime: Yeah, sure sure… You have a good point that the phone doesn’t belong to him. However, you’re missing something.
Kahi: What am I missing?
Slime:None of this proves that Eljay wasn’t distracted when he drove his car, does it?
Kahi: What do you mean?
Slime: It doesn’t matter whether the phone is HIS or not… All that matters is that Eljay hit Pot8o. And so far, you haven’t been able to prove that he hasn’t. He still played Cookie Clicker at 3:36, and he still ran over him. Sure, the tires didn’t make a track, but what does that prove? Nothing! All of it is circumstantial!
Venom: Hmm… Slime brings up a good point. None of this has proven anything, really. All this bickering about a phone… What has it done to prove that Eljay was not guilty?
Slime: Exactly, your honor. It doesn’t do squat.
Kahi:(Gah… What have I done? None of this proves my point… Think! Think! There has to be something I’m missing!)
In post 411 (according to the little counter in the bottom-right-corner) I noted that there was a discrepancy in the times listed for when Eljay was allegedly playing Cookie Clicker.
It didn’t help with identifying the owner of the phone at all (truth be told, I didn’t think it would; I did, however, think that it warranted being mentioned at the time) but it might take on some importance now.
I would have simply quoted myself and avoided that bit of convoluted explanation, but there was a rather grievous formatting error no matter what I tried, and it kinda forced my hand.
Kahi: There is one thing that’s been bothering me about Cronk’s testimony. He says Eljay was playing cookie clicker at 3:36, when he really did it at 3:35, according to the time. How long did he play the game for?
Slime: He played it for however long it takes to play cookie clicker. I dunno. Perhaps you should ask him.
Kahi: So then it would be alright if you called the next witness?
Slime: Now hold on a second, I’m still trying to make my case.
BANG
Venom: In favor of the defense, I feel it would be better to move onto our next witness, as I still am a bit conflicted myself with this case. Perhaps another witness would be suitable. Slime, call your next witness.
Slime: I feel we could get more done if we called the defendant up.
Kahi: (Now’s my chance. Eljay can tell his side of the story and I can finally win this case. For Varponok.)
Eljay: Er, hi.
Slime: Let’s get down to the point. You’re Eljay, a TTV cast member, worker for irrigation, blahdy blah blah.
Kahi: Your Honor, Slime just went against the order of conduct for a court case! He should receive a penalty for disobeying conduct.
Slime: Wha-? What did I do that was wrong?! I was just trying to get the cross-examination over with! You should be thankful.
Venom: Eh, i’ll let it slide.
Kahi: (Ugh. This is the worse court ever.)
Eljay:It was June 14th when I decided I wanted to take a bit of a trip with my girlfriend, Alena, before I headed off to work. I sent her plenty of messages on my phone in order for her to know when I would pick her up, and when I did, we had a good time.
Eventually, I headed over to work at the TTV Building and went inside as she stayed in the car. It was, what, 3:20 at the time? Anyways, I decided to get out my phone and play some cookie clicker as I waited for Alena to get here from home. I played cookie clicker on MY phone, as shown on the records.
Anyways, I didn’t run over any potatoes, if that’s what the prosecution wants to know! I’d never harm a poor potato in my life! And no, I am NOT from Idaho! Why does everyone ask me that?
Phone Records:
3:03 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:04 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:05 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:26 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:30 PM: Message from Varponok
3:31 PM: Internet use.
3:35 PM: Began playing cookie clicker.
Phone Contents:
3:03: Hey Alena.
Alena? You there?
3:04: I got your messages from earlier. Are you sure you don’t wanna be on today’s podcast?
3:05: I wish you would respond, Alena.
3:26: I’m coming over to pick you up. See you soon.
3:30: Look, are you going to be on the podcast or not? You haven’t shown up yet. It’s frustrating me.
Autopsy:
Pot8o faced a large impact followed by a squish, parts of him becoming mashed potatoes. He was killed at 3:37 pm approximately. Practically split in half.
First off, every time the possibility of Eljay and Alena being in a relationship has been brought up, Eljay has vehemently stated time and time again that he is not Alena’s boyfriend (not matter how much Alena states the contrary). So that’s a proverbial red flag.
Secondly, Eljay said “girlfriends” plural, and then mentioned only one name, specifically “Alena”.
Ask Eljay if Alena could’ve driven his car while he was at TTV, ask him if he has proof he was at TTV at the time of the murder, and ask him where his car and car keys are.
Kahi: Could Alena have driven your car while you were at the TTV Building?
Eljay: Sure.
Kahi: Do you have any PROOF that you were at the TTV building at the time?
Eljay: Well, I WOULD have if it wasn’t confiscated when I was arrested by Mr. Slime over there. It was my clock-in ticket.
Kahi: You got a piece of evidence confiscated from you by SLIME?
Slime: Heh heh…
Venom: Slime, are you withholding evidence from the court?
Slime: What? No… Just waiting to use it for the right time.
Venom: That’s a bootleg excuse, kid. Present it NOW.
Slime: Fine. Here’s the clock-in times…
Clock-in Time:
July 14th, 3:47 pm.
Kahi: So it was shortly after the incident?
Eljay: There wasn’t an incident to begin with!!
Slime: This proves nothing, though. In fact, it means he had plenty of time to run over Pot8o to begin with!
Kahi: Interesting… Now, can I ask if Alena was in the car when you were driving to the TTV building?
Eljay: Why yes, but I wasn’t the one who ran Pot8o over! You have the wrong guy!
Slime: That’s not what the evidence shows, Eljay.
Eljay: Evidence, smevadince! Me and Alena are innocent! Especially Alena!
Eljay: I drive a truck. Is that good enough?
Kahi: Not very specific, but I guess that matches with the type of tire. Also, Mr. Slime, was the car found at the crime scene?
Slime: Well, it IS a hit and run, so of course not!
Slime: Also, I’d love to ask Eljay about this comment:
Eljay: Uh… What’s wrong with it?
Slime:If what you said was true in this testimony, then that means the phone IS yours! And you just admitted it! Since you were driving to work around 3:30-3:40, you obviously only could have used your phone at that time in order to play Cookie Clicker and run over Pot8o!
