Kahi: There is one thing that’s been bothering me about Cronk’s testimony. He says Eljay was playing cookie clicker at 3:36, when he really did it at 3:35, according to the time. How long did he play the game for?
Slime: He played it for however long it takes to play cookie clicker. I dunno. Perhaps you should ask him.
Kahi: So then it would be alright if you called the next witness?
Slime: Now hold on a second, I’m still trying to make my case.
BANG
Venom: In favor of the defense, I feel it would be better to move onto our next witness, as I still am a bit conflicted myself with this case. Perhaps another witness would be suitable. Slime, call your next witness.
Slime: I feel we could get more done if we called the defendant up.
Kahi: (Now’s my chance. Eljay can tell his side of the story and I can finally win this case. For Varponok.)
Eljay: Er, hi.
Slime: Let’s get down to the point. You’re Eljay, a TTV cast member, worker for irrigation, blahdy blah blah.
Kahi: Your Honor, Slime just went against the order of conduct for a court case! He should receive a penalty for disobeying conduct.
Slime: Wha-? What did I do that was wrong?! I was just trying to get the cross-examination over with! You should be thankful.
Venom: Eh, i’ll let it slide.
Kahi: (Ugh. This is the worse court ever.)
Eljay: It was June 14th when I decided I wanted to take a bit of a trip with my girlfriend, Alena, before I headed off to work. I sent her plenty of messages on my phone in order for her to know when I would pick her up, and when I did, we had a good time.
Eventually, I headed over to work at the TTV Building and went inside as she stayed in the car. It was, what, 3:20 at the time? Anyways, I decided to get out my phone and play some cookie clicker as I waited for Alena to get here from home. I played cookie clicker on MY phone, as shown on the records.
Anyways, I didn’t run over any potatoes, if that’s what the prosecution wants to know! I’d never harm a poor potato in my life! And no, I am NOT from Idaho! Why does everyone ask me that?
Phone Records:
3:03 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:04 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:05 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:26 PM: Message from Eljay.
3:30 PM: Message from Varponok
3:31 PM: Internet use.
3:35 PM: Began playing cookie clicker.
Phone Contents:
3:03: Hey Alena.
Alena? You there?
3:04: I got your messages from earlier. Are you sure you don’t wanna be on today’s podcast?
3:05: I wish you would respond, Alena.
3:26: I’m coming over to pick you up. See you soon.
3:30: Look, are you going to be on the podcast or not? You haven’t shown up yet. It’s frustrating me.
Autopsy:
Pot8o faced a large impact followed by a squish, parts of him becoming mashed potatoes. He was killed at 3:37 pm approximately. Practically split in half.