I swear if BoD becomes a talking pet book I’m going to delete my account
All jokes aside, the cat theory is just the kind of thing I wanted to hear from people when I made the survey. It’s a very interesting theory, though a lot of the points could be easily debunked. (ex. The cat door thing being a joke because Tott is exceedingly short)
Shsshshshsshshssshshshshhshhshshshhshshhshsshhh you didn’t see that
it never happened moving on
That first line is a quote, and the next references the circumstances surrounding it. In fact, the diatribe launched into is partially a meta stab at the mediocre quality of the source material.
Sorry but no. Try harder 
“For believe me: the secret for harvesting from existence the greatest fruitfulness and greatest enjoyment is—to live dangerously.”
― Friedrich Neitzsche
Trash?
no wait this is a compliment I think
well we’ll find out if that happens
Hm Hmmm HMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
I wonder why I chose that word. Must be my poor vocabulary; best not to read into it.
Because now Tott is detailing a lot more info far less important to the topic at hand than what he looks like/who he is. Who cares what kind of Ghid goes bump in the night when there’s a funny little man breaking someone’s door?
Not defending my roundabout way of delivering info while still being meta, as it’s inexcusable. But I can’t stop and I won’t stop
Sherlock Holmes in The Adventure of the Abbey Grange knelt on a peg in the wall to reach a cord hanging from the ceiling in order to inspect it. This would be similar; Tott is resting one knee on the knob in order to reach the chain lock, i.e., kneeling.
What can I say, I’m a generous author
oh no
Can I go back in time and stab the me who came up with what ended up turning into a furry theory
no it’s getting worse no
How dare you assume that I, who has clearly made significant errors in the story thus far, would use a word that doesn’t exist
Now you watch your language mister
As an excuse, it’s the ‘venom in the tongue’ bizarre implication of spoken emotion residing in some oral location. Whether or not I like it, or my stretching the concept, it’s a growing condition and I expect it will become terminal in future chapters.
Yeah okay I have no excuse for this one. To be completely honest I don’t know why either.
AAAAAAAAA MAKE IT STOP I NEVER LOOKED AT FURAFFINITY.NET PLEASE SPARE ME THIS PAIN
Actually maybe you’re the one looking at furaffinity
I’ll actually answer this since there’ll be more instances later.
I have assumed, for the construction of the Akaku of Tott’s, that the three holes at the ‘mouth’ of the mask are completely hollow, with no back part, allowing the wearer to consume foods (and also smoke) through them.
Any normal Akaku that appears in this story will most likely follow the same rules.
aaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
Thank you for the critique, man, I really appreciate it and do not reread them as I will definitely not be silently editing them to fix the stupid mistakes nope nuh uh and I’m looking forward to your take on the next chapter.
Nah, I knew overcompensating is a word. It’s just that since it wound up on the next line due to its sheer length, it looked like you had
hit the enter key midsentence, like this.
Fun fact, this wasn’t me dodging around a real swear – that is something I actually, unironically say in real life.
Actually all of them can be. This is the type of theory where there’s no actual evidence, just a bunch of things that could be the case. Yet, were this a big IP with a large fanbase, fans would latch onto it anyway.
Who do you think I am, Heyzorks?
based
uh I mean you’re such a pottymouth
Hey get your own joke that’s mine. >:(
–
Chapter 4
–
“You mean this?”
There had been a silence during which the silver figure had stood, dramatically emphasizing the certain importance of this weird-looking pitiable pitted thing, as it did absolutely nothing except sit completely still and somehow give off an air of irritation. Or maybe that was just me projecting.
“…This. Yes.” The silver figure responded, casting a very quick glance at the trash bag figure, who grumpily shifted his stance in response. “This here is an eyewitness to the events that-”
And I was promptly dropped directly on my face by the Diero character. It wasn’t entirely unjustified; I had broken into a series of snorting giggles at the usage of the word eyewitness as that was the one thing he didn’t have in any way, shape, or form. Regardless, there I was, tasting the dirt, the cigarette completely destroyed by the impact and the ashes smeared across the mask.
Before I could properly right myself I was hoisted back into the air by the aforementioned fashion freakshow, and to my slight surprise I noticed the chrome gadabout glaring daggers into the former. Evidently this little display was too great an overreach, but to preserve my naivety there was clearly no verbal reprimand intended.
“Let’s get something clear, Cordax.” The silver figure seated himself on the front-most seat of the bizarre vehicle in a slightly casual way, leaning on his knees as if he were a father about to provide a cutting preamble for a speech intended to both reprimand and instruct, but in his case just made him look tired. “We don’t want to involve anyone else in this. And we don’t want you getting hurt. We only want this monster brought to justice for what he’s done, and unfortunately, you’re the only one we could find who knows anything on the topic.”
“But I’m not a Cor-”
My attempt to interject a defense was cut off by Diero smashing me on the ground again. Oh, my poor, poor mask wasn’t likely to survive whatever idiotic escapade was about to begin as a result of my deciding to open a door.
“If you aren’t a little more willing to cooperate, however,” The silver figure leaned in as I lay crushed on the ground, my head finally struggling enough to barely glare up out of the top of my sockets at this paternal pansy. “Then I want you to be aware we aren’t afraid to take some risks in order to find him.” His glowering was intended to be menacing, but it mostly felt like an invasion of personal space coupled with the scent of whatever he had eaten last to form a sickening, crawling feeling akin to stepping in a small puddle with socks on.
Yeeugh.
“Can I get a word in edgewise?” I finally spat out, having forced the crumpled cigarette out of my mask. “I don’t know who you are or what a Cordax is, or why you like horseradish so much, but I promise you I have nothing worth your while to tell you. You have a question? Go right ahead and ask it, but I don’t have any idea what a Cordax is. Ow.” I tried to look up at Diero, but couldn’t manage it. “And tell your stupid leather fanatic to stop crushing my neck.”
I was, of course, lying. I have no idea what horseradish smells like. But at the mention of it, the silver figure retracted slightly and continued to glare down with a somewhat irritated air. Diero snarled at my comment about his attire, but a slight lift of the former’s head prompted him to stand me back up on my feet.
“Very well.” He mumbled as I smeared my sleeve across my mask to remove the ashes of the late cigarette. “You can start being helpful by telling us your name, if it isn’t Cordax.”
“My name is Tott.” I replied, glaring at my sleeve which now had ashes and dirt streaked across it. “I don’t suppose that satisfies you?”
“Do you know who Monopoly is?” The chrome character questioned, swinging one leg across his knee. “Or what he’s done outside of what we’ve told you?”
“What YOU’VE told him, stupid.”
“Excuse me?” The figure turned to face the trash bag man, who had commented rather loudly under his breath about how much the former had let loose when complaining to me. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t undercut me during the interrogation.”
“And I would appreciate,” The figure said, seemingly forcing his legs to approach as he spoke- which reminds me, I forgot to mention before that I found and still find it very odd that this bizarre character would take so many short steps instead of walking full stride. Really unbecoming for a total edgelord.
I’m sorry, did I distract you from the flow of the conversation? Let’s see. He had just said “And I would appreciate,” and then he said “if you didn’t tell someone who may very well not be Cordax about our entire operation. Do you want Ghid to descend upon us and wipe us off the map? Do you want this whoever-he-is to snitch the moment he’s out of our sight?”
The silver figure held up his palm in protest, turning away from the accusations of his aggressive accomplice, who spun on his heel and muttered some unintelligible insults through his teeth. During the remonstrance I glanced up at Diero, who glanced slightly down at me, and I’m not sure if he felt the same disappointed feeling that I was experiencing being reminded that I actually got kidnapped by these morons.
“Well?” I was broken out of my regret by the seated stranger resuming his torturous questioning. “Do you know who Monopoly is?”
And here I felt the first instance of indecision that night. Should I reveal that key detail which motivated me to leave the comfortable indoors I was in only minutes ago, to go on what may very well be an arduous journey, to locate the entity which most assuredly had a good head start on evading me? Whatever my decision I had to answer, as my hesitance was plainly illustrated and had already left an impact on my less than gracious host.
With a quiet chuckle I pulled out another cigarette, sticking it in the Akaku’s lower right hole while I rummaged for a lighter I knew I didn’t have. There was another nod from the metallic insquisitor, and I felt the uncomfortable pressure of the overly wide brim pressed against my head while a guttering match appeared beneath my chin. I angled my head to light the cigarette in its glow, while the cattleman that offered it rose slowly back to full height, dropping it in the dry soil and slowly crushing it with his heel.
“Yes.” I finally responded. The trash bag figure turned to face me as I spoke. “I had a run-in with him a couple months ago, him and another rough-looking character who was a lot greener than him. I asked them to do a favor and as down payment I gave him a coat. Very nice coat, too. Much too big for me, but perfect size for him.”
There was an uncomfortable pause, during which the trash bag figure slowly approached and eyed me with an air of suspicion. The silver one suddenly flicked his head to the side, and Diero hoisted me into the air and onto the strange contraption’s middle seat.
“We had better get names out of the way before we depart.” The silver figure said, turning towards me. It was then that I noticed all of the seats were designed to swivel about however they desired. “The cowboy fellow who brought you over here is Diero.”
At the mention of his name Diero drew his heels together and stood completely erect, easily the tallest person in the group, glancing down at me with a nonchalant air. And it was then that I first noticed a suspicion which I hadn’t noticed before, and which certainly wasn’t present when we first met - a vague, uncertain fear lurking in the back of Diero’s pinpoint eyes. Was it for me, with my not having done anything remotely dangerous, or perhaps for this armored imbecile who appeared to orchestrate this whole event?
“We’ve met.” I replied sardonically.
“That one is Jethryn.” The silver figure pointed past myself at the pile of trash bags with a person hiding underneath. “He’s going to investigate the building you came from to make sure your story holds water.”
Before I could object, the strange vehicle we were seated on suddenly purred, hovering slightly off the ground. Diero seated himself in the back, turning my seat to face him. I imagine it must have been to keep me from seeing where we would be headed.
“As for myself, you’ll have to keep waiting.” The figure said as he held the handlebars, turning the vehicle in a tight circle before shooting out of the trees and off across a massive, barren field. I couldn’t be too concerned about how the laws of physics allowed this while I was too busy holding the seat to make sure I didn’t go flying off, because this most definitely did not come with seatbelts.
Seeing this, Diero tossed the large, metallic rectangle into my lap, nearly crushing my legs in the process. It would certainly work as a seatbelt for the time being given that it weighed five quadrillion megatons, or something close enough to that, as it was extremely uncomfortable to have something so heavy pinning me in place. I locked eyes with Diero, and then - with his pinpoint eyes blazing right into my very being - I saw the lurking terror hiding in the back of his sockets. It was not this silver figure, then, that he was so dreadfully afraid of; it was me. Something I had done, perhaps? Something I had said? Why on earth was he so mortified of me, a person so short he could punt across the street like a dead cat?
I could use this to my advantage in the future. No, I would use this to my advantage in the future. It was an absolute certainty that this stranger, this millinery-mounted modiste, would be very important both to me and to the future of what was slated to occur. Which is why I expressed such shock when a bullet smashed into the back of his head and dropped him like a rock onto the space between us… But mostly on my face.
Why does the world do such things to my face?
–
BEEG BEEG YOSHI chapter. Goodness, I’m setting myself up for a horrible fall, aren’t I?
Lots of content here to feed every conspiracy theory on the planet (outside of the cat one I hope[like the analogy I hope the cat theory is dead and punted{I’m actually having fun hearing about it it’s fine}]) especially with some tie-in info doing a little bit of explaining to the DEEPER LORE about uh
stuff
I’m not going to paraphrase it go read it again 
Use it more often then, nerd 
So you’re a mobile user
I think you mean when
GRrRRr
um
eenteresting chapter
If I keep using it more often it loses its potency. You cannot rush art!
And yet this book has four chapters in one week 
And whose fault is that? 
No introduction for the robot man. Could it be intentional?
meesa have smooth brain
It okay to have smooth brain sometimes, son
Oh hey post 131
You have been blessed
I figured out the twist
Krelikan is cube but evil now who has traveled through space and time to fit into one of theses strange contraptions
I am so smart
Look how intelligent I am
Praise my superior intellect
for the uninitiated this is a very poor attempt at a joke, you have permission to laugh now.
Wow, I had no idea Martin Luther was so susceptible to space-traveling evil robot cubes. Just goes to show how eating dirt isn’t the most intellectual choice.
It was, a bit… uh… Er complicated for me
Alright, I guess it’s time for me to step in and analyse the new chapter, though I’ll try to keep this one brief… I’m not dreaming of typing nonsensical ramblings without any hints of logic again for an hour straight.
Remember when I said that the trashbag figure reminded me of Hawkflight’s self-MOC?
Well, guess what?
I was right all along! That even makes me think that I have more than two brain cells… two and a half, probably.
Now, I have a crazy noisy bizarre theory regarding Jethryn.
Cats can’t take wide steps, right?.. ahem… I mean, short people can’t take wide steps, right? Now, keep that in mind for a sec.
Hawkflight’s self-MOC doesn’t have a kanohi mask to speak of and instead is rocking a bare metru head with a slizer foot attached to it. Who else from the list has a bare metru head and also is short? GoodGuy2006!
So, my theory is: Jethryn is actually GoodGuy in disguise!
But my conspiracy theories don’t stop here.
Here’s another one: Tott is the one who hired Monopoly and Zero to sabotage both Cider factory missions from the first book.
It comes together perfectly: there was a month in between Bird’s mission and Pakari’s mission, Monopoly and Zero knew each other, Monopoly wore a puffy coat during the mission and mentioned (if I remember correctly) that he had been hired by a third party.
That very third party is… Tott.
Diero’s reaction also confirms it: he was frightened because they accidentally kidnapped Monopoly’s boss!
And then there’s this:
Tott is a cat confirmed!
Okay, I’m out of theories for today…
Awww you killed off Diero, meaning that he’s not an important character and I won’t get to draw him… what a shame.
