The Book of Dreams

yeah that is basically what I imagined

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ngl I actually really like his hat

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pfff stay in character kid

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what character

im a naive master lock picker who sees the best in people and wears nothing but purple hoodies

Cordax probably doesn’t have a fashion sense

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I don’t even know what I’m like yet

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Ch 5

Chapter 6

“It even had a gold star molded into the butt! Do you realize how much that and the ivory handle makes it worth?”

“It seems to me,” The silver figure replied, “that you carelessly fling your valuable possessions at whatever ominous entity decides to attack you. I would think a gun would be more worthwhile firing bullets instead of-”

“SO DO I.” Diero hissed, some mist-like substance shooting out of the holes of his mouth as his teeth clenched in fury. “Maybe a more applicable dream that didn’t involve a ONE HUNDRED PERCENT DEFENSIVE MANEUVER WOULD HAVE BEEN MORE APPLICABLE. I wonder if any would have FIT THAT DESCRIPTION?”

“Why do you even have something so valuable on you if you’re going to go gunslinging in the wilderness?” I hazarded, knowing full well it would earn me an angry retort. But to my relief, the retort was a bitter deflection in the form of a rhetorical question.

“What on earth do you know about value, Cordax?”

I didn’t bother asking. After all, I’m definitely not a Cordax, and the question was addressed to him. Maybe this Cordax was the box across my legs? Were these two idiots speaking to “me” as a way to speak to this odd rectangle pinning me in position, to circumvent some blockage which prevented them from communicating directly?

…Likely not. They were both too stupid to conceive such a plan.

The strange contraption we sat upon which had the unflattering job of ferrying us to our destination suddenly made a whistling noise, like a kettle about to boil. Wait, did I already use that description? I really should expand my vocabulary a bit more without relying upon exorbitant, pleonastic delineation in my belletristic blithering.

Where was I? Ah, yes, describing events as they proceed, as always. Well, the vehicle had stopped its whistle and now seemed to tug at the ground despite not being grounded in any way, heading towards what appeared to be an impenetrable darkness. The group seemed unconcerned by this development, although Diero did tilt his head at a slight angle to imply curiosity or suspicion. With no other facial features besides rather inhuman eyes, it was difficult to read his expression by emotion alone.

As we sunk into that ominous void there appeared a tower silhouetted on the horizon, impossibly tall and extremely decrepit. No possible indication of life sprung out of that ruin, which had remained hidden from view until now. It spoke of a pinnacle of majesty once constructed to begin a civilization, but now lie in waste at the edge of society, abandoned by all who knew of it.

“You’re probably not familiar with that place,” The silver figure began, in spite of my being completely familiar with it. “but rumor has it that Ghid constructed it because of some device that would let him conquer all of reality. Perhaps that’s why he has so much control now, since that plan clearly didn’t work.”

“Clearly.”

I could feel the steely gaze of Diero burning through the back of my head, and against my better judgement I slowly turned to meet it. It was suspicious, irritated, judgemental, threatening… Everything except things that were positive. Could it have been my tone of voice that warranted this response? It was unclear. Surely it was not simply what I had said that caused this reaction. There was something this Diero character was suspecting, but I couldn’t guess as to what it was.

Now, I can only assume you are clamoring at the edge of your seat, unless you are some kind of freak who stands while reading, in which case I recommend you push yourself to even greater extremes and consider acrobatic gymnastics while reading, to determine what happens when we reach the tower, and as your unwilling schlepper of the unascertained, I am duty-bound to inform you of the journey.

Hmm… Well, nothing beyond the conversation has happened so far… How about I just update you on how many rocks I see on the way there.

One.

Okay, I think that one counts as double. Three.

There’s another One.

Five.

Six, Seven.

Eight.

Nine.

Ten, Eleven, Twelve, Thirteen…

Ch 7

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oh gosh why do his legs look like slimjims

image

really good drawing but I can’t unsee his lower extremities looking like shriveled processed meat sticks advertised by randy savage

and yes before all of you come running in here to say extreMEATies I did think of that, lifetime comedy award #24 we get it moving along

and you’re telling me this isn’t a perfect portrayal?

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ooooooh
this chapter interests me

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Sans undertale

Yo it’s that one hero factory “leak”

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Maybe the skeleton horde is supposed to represent Dadertrix? their user card background is a bunch of skeletors :thinking:

Also, NOTaHFfan, you’re amazing

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No, that’s pretty much me irl but without the lockpicking part.

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That’s because Chronicler’s supposed to eat it.

Also, don’t all cowboys wear trousers that look like a barely edible meat product?

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have I been doing it wrong this whole time

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ah that’s my insatiable appetite.

I eat it

I also eat this

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I’m finally caught up and I’m enjoying this more then the last book.

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Ch 6

Chapter 7

…One Hundred and Thirty One…

…One Hundred and Thirty Two…

…One Hundred and Thirty Three…

…One Hundred and- oh, hi. Did you fall asleep? I think you missed rocks Fourteen through One Hundred and Thirty. Well, I have to tell you, you’ve really missed out. Rock Eighty Seven was actually Two rocks fused in the middle, and I’m fairly confident rock Forty Two had gemstones formed from inside it, since it shimmered and sparkled quite lively despite being a boulder… Could be a split geode or something; I have no idea how rocks work.

Regardless, you probably are curious to see how far along we are, aren’t you? Well, unfortunately for you, we haven’t neared the tower enough to disembark, but we must be close by now. The rocks had cleared away from the tower, and looking up I could barely identify the tip of that ominous spire amidst the dark of the night.

The strange device we were riding upon- I thought I told myself very plainly to stop referring to myself and these two bungling boneheads as “we”; it’s going to get me killed some not-so-distant day. But, if it does, I hope it gets all of “we” killed as well. It would be a noble and selfless sacrifice to rid the world of two pernicious ignoramuses and their influence on the part of the brain that causes migraines.

I’d consider lobotomy if it wouldn’t turn me into one of them.

Something flew past my head very fast and very close - I barely saw it, but the white fluttering blur zipping past my head could not be ignored. Turning about, I saw Diero had caught it casually between his thumb and forefinger, and was unfolding the crumpled heap to decipher its contents. Of course it was a note.

He seemed most satisfied with musing over it in a lackadaisical manner, giving me the perfect opportunity to snatch it from him and decipher its contents. And how could I pass up such an opportunity handed to me on a silver platter, when the temptation was ripe and low-hanging?

With extreme dexterity I snatched the paper from Diero’s fingertips, leaving him to read the open air in surprise for a moment before realizing I had pilfered the message out from under his lack of a nose. While he was still reacting to this sequence of events I ran my eye - the Akaku prevented me from using both - over the note in a flash, taking in with immense disappointment the message it carried.

After we disembark, let none of us get hurt.

Really?

This brainless, most obvious of information was the so-secretive note passed along to Diero? I tried running it through my mind looking for a code, but I could not find any. These idiots were not so bright as to devise something I could not decipher, with my cunning and my intellect. Oh, don’t be so critical; it’s just a fact that I’m smarter than everyone else. There’s nothing egotistical about it, it’s just a plain, simple, cold-hard fact: the world is full of idiots and I am the genius trapped in a sea of fools.

Now while you accept this as fact, do not recollect that I actually got kidnapped by these dolts. That was all part of my master scheme or something along those lines… Far too intelligent for you to understand, clearly. No point in me reiterating any info that would prove it as such.

Now where was I… Ah, yes, Diero had sputtered at me for about half a second and was on the verge of seizing me by the throat when I shoved the note back in his face with a disinterested attitude. He swiped it back and devoured it ferociously in front of me, smashing his great jaws together like a hungry lion, refusing to at the very least close his lips in front of me while he chewed. Him being a weird stone skeleton thing and therefore not having lips is no excuse for lack of table manners.

So was that it? Just a snack for Diero to consume? Just a- hold on. He stopped chewing and jabbed a fragment of the paper in my face while putting on the most evil grin physically possible. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have saliva else this would be the most gross, repulsive-

up the

Ohh, you sneaky, sneaky fool. Perhaps I should dial back the self-praise a tad, at least while I’m in this company, because I just got completely blindsided by that silver fellow’s machinations.

There was writing on the back. There was writing on the back that this Diero stooge couldn’t have possibly read, not even the fragment he shoved in front of me since he now stuffed it back into his teeth and continued destroying it like a monster. There was no indication that he had seen it, although he seemed to be aware there was writing on the reverse side, since he had shown it to me. I just couldn’t understand-

“Time to fly, Diero.” The silver figure in the front of the vehicle said, letting the vehicle idle out as it now sped towards the tower on course to zip right past it. I was suddenly aware of Diero once again rudely grabbing me by the collar and hoisting me into the air, his other hand holding the box. He was now standing on the revolving seat, holding me and the box, and I was holding the world’s most annoyed glare in my singular visible eye directed at the doltish desperado, who swung the box towards the silver figure. He stood, caught it, and then advanced across the seats in time for Diero to catch him by the waist and leap.

From the vehicle.

To the incoming wall.

And all this time I assumed we were to going to park like civilized people and walk up to the front door. Well, we can’t be too picky with our plans, now can we?

Ch 8

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I can’t blame you, it’s been five minutes since I wrote it and that means I hate it now

You need to go on a diet
decrepit horizon towers go straight to the hips

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and then I blow up.

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I’ve got to say the same thing. I barely followed the first one, didn’t really follow the second one but my 3 brain cells have actually been able to comprehend and enjoy this one insert something about how this probably shows something about your skills getting better or something

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gasp

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