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Chapter 7
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…One Hundred and Thirty One…
…One Hundred and Thirty Two…
…One Hundred and Thirty Three…
…One Hundred and- oh, hi. Did you fall asleep? I think you missed rocks Fourteen through One Hundred and Thirty. Well, I have to tell you, you’ve really missed out. Rock Eighty Seven was actually Two rocks fused in the middle, and I’m fairly confident rock Forty Two had gemstones formed from inside it, since it shimmered and sparkled quite lively despite being a boulder… Could be a split geode or something; I have no idea how rocks work.
Regardless, you probably are curious to see how far along we are, aren’t you? Well, unfortunately for you, we haven’t neared the tower enough to disembark, but we must be close by now. The rocks had cleared away from the tower, and looking up I could barely identify the tip of that ominous spire amidst the dark of the night.
The strange device we were riding upon- I thought I told myself very plainly to stop referring to myself and these two bungling boneheads as “we”; it’s going to get me killed some not-so-distant day. But, if it does, I hope it gets all of “we” killed as well. It would be a noble and selfless sacrifice to rid the world of two pernicious ignoramuses and their influence on the part of the brain that causes migraines.
I’d consider lobotomy if it wouldn’t turn me into one of them.
Something flew past my head very fast and very close - I barely saw it, but the white fluttering blur zipping past my head could not be ignored. Turning about, I saw Diero had caught it casually between his thumb and forefinger, and was unfolding the crumpled heap to decipher its contents. Of course it was a note.
He seemed most satisfied with musing over it in a lackadaisical manner, giving me the perfect opportunity to snatch it from him and decipher its contents. And how could I pass up such an opportunity handed to me on a silver platter, when the temptation was ripe and low-hanging?
With extreme dexterity I snatched the paper from Diero’s fingertips, leaving him to read the open air in surprise for a moment before realizing I had pilfered the message out from under his lack of a nose. While he was still reacting to this sequence of events I ran my eye - the Akaku prevented me from using both - over the note in a flash, taking in with immense disappointment the message it carried.
After we disembark, let none of us get hurt.
Really?
This brainless, most obvious of information was the so-secretive note passed along to Diero? I tried running it through my mind looking for a code, but I could not find any. These idiots were not so bright as to devise something I could not decipher, with my cunning and my intellect. Oh, don’t be so critical; it’s just a fact that I’m smarter than everyone else. There’s nothing egotistical about it, it’s just a plain, simple, cold-hard fact: the world is full of idiots and I am the genius trapped in a sea of fools.
Now while you accept this as fact, do not recollect that I actually got kidnapped by these dolts. That was all part of my master scheme or something along those lines… Far too intelligent for you to understand, clearly. No point in me reiterating any info that would prove it as such.
Now where was I… Ah, yes, Diero had sputtered at me for about half a second and was on the verge of seizing me by the throat when I shoved the note back in his face with a disinterested attitude. He swiped it back and devoured it ferociously in front of me, smashing his great jaws together like a hungry lion, refusing to at the very least close his lips in front of me while he chewed. Him being a weird stone skeleton thing and therefore not having lips is no excuse for lack of table manners.
So was that it? Just a snack for Diero to consume? Just a- hold on. He stopped chewing and jabbed a fragment of the paper in my face while putting on the most evil grin physically possible. It’s a good thing he doesn’t have saliva else this would be the most gross, repulsive-
up the
Ohh, you sneaky, sneaky fool. Perhaps I should dial back the self-praise a tad, at least while I’m in this company, because I just got completely blindsided by that silver fellow’s machinations.
There was writing on the back. There was writing on the back that this Diero stooge couldn’t have possibly read, not even the fragment he shoved in front of me since he now stuffed it back into his teeth and continued destroying it like a monster. There was no indication that he had seen it, although he seemed to be aware there was writing on the reverse side, since he had shown it to me. I just couldn’t understand-
“Time to fly, Diero.” The silver figure in the front of the vehicle said, letting the vehicle idle out as it now sped towards the tower on course to zip right past it. I was suddenly aware of Diero once again rudely grabbing me by the collar and hoisting me into the air, his other hand holding the box. He was now standing on the revolving seat, holding me and the box, and I was holding the world’s most annoyed glare in my singular visible eye directed at the doltish desperado, who swung the box towards the silver figure. He stood, caught it, and then advanced across the seats in time for Diero to catch him by the waist and leap.
From the vehicle.
To the incoming wall.
And all this time I assumed we were to going to park like civilized people and walk up to the front door. Well, we can’t be too picky with our plans, now can we?
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