I’m never going to get tired of posting these
Also, since it’s slightly a big deal, Chromeboy/R’s identity has been officially revealed! A while ago. Chapters ago. How many? Not telling. But I put it there, and I’m surprised nobody’s picked up on it yet.
In other news, if Cordax is 6’4" irl this story is extremely awkward.
Don’t worry, I’m like 4’11” or something along the lines of that
yes I am actually tiny
Argh! Stop invalidating my title of the ultimate BoD theoriser! I still have no idea if R is me or Rukah…
Like, at this point I know everything about his appearance, I know that he’s from the same organisation as Pakari, Bird and others, I know why he’s looking for Monopoly, I know that he’s totally incompetent and can be easily overpowered by a child, I even know what his breath smells like… but I still don’t know which user he’s supposed to represent. How lame…
I guess it’s time to reread the book… again…
Never heard of this “Nobody” person, I only know of N01.
Sorry I don’t measure in football fields, is this tall or short?
Yeah me neither but I’m assuming it’s me
Though it would be easier to tell if he used lewa swords in some way…
Hint, ghid, hint
I also have a theory regarding Jethryn
Hey, I’ve given you all the hints and even directly said who it is. I even said which part would reveal key info about Jethryn before it even happened. Any more theory info and there won’t be any secrets to theorize about! Okay there would actually still be a lot but you get the idea
You heard it here folks, he’s not an American
Average adult male height is something like 5’11" I think despite it being 6’ not too many years ago, so that figure would be beeg boi. 6’4" is 162.56 centimeters.
well you don’t get anywhere keeping it to yourself, now do you?
And so he catches on
Uh
What I meant to say is that I think @Hawkflight is the top and @GoodGuy2006 is the bottom
Okay, I’ll just have to beli…
Well, the amount of brain cells I have in my possession is hardly more than two, so…
wait
R is definitely me!
Also, how do you know that 193 cm is my actual height?
Hows it you? Because I’m not to good at “picking up on smaller details”
I eat it
–
Chapter 13
–
“Something is here,” The most disturbing voice in the entire universe said, making chills run through my body involuntarily.
It was like the sound of fingernails against chalkboard, it felt akin to sandpaper across the inner ear, a horrible, unrealistic sound formed into words and violently driven into my mind. How utterly unnerving, disgusting, and hideous a concept, and yet there it was.
It sounded like a child.
Diero immediately burst into a very poorly stifled laugh, pretending to cough between fits of chuckling. Chromeboy looked confused, his eyes traveling between me and Cordax, trying to gauge what reaction we were having to this development. Jethryn groaned out a long sigh and- huh, he had apparently been set on the counter next to the nuclear bomb. I guess his lower half got tired of holding him.
Regardless, he turned to his lower half and muttered under his breath “Look, I told you NOT to speak unless the matter was important.”
“It is important.” The child-like voice continued, sounding from the warped skull of Jethryn’s lower half. Diero was having a harder time not laughing. “I found our target.”
Chromeboy advanced across the room to where Jethryn’s lower half was standing, shooting a stern glare at Diero who was pretending to compose himself. There was a drawer open, and chromeboy rummaged around in it for a moment before turning around dramatically, a bullet in his hand. “Thank goodness nobody stole it! Diero, open this up. And gently; there are valuable contents inside.”
Deftly Diero pulled the bullet from his boss’ hand, twisting the actual bullet and the casing apart with ease, allowing a green mist to escape from in between the pair. At the sight of it I realized the furthest corner of the room was all alone, and I quickly went to spend some time with it. The green mist did little, floating around as a cloud in the middle of the room, but I did my best to stay as far away from it as possible. I mean keep the corner company. Who knows how lonely a corner gets? I mean, it must be uncomfortable being so hot all the time. It’s a constant ninety degr- What do you mean you saw that coming? It’s a totally original, Tott-patented joke of comedic intent that should net me an award for comedic genius dedicated to my person for the remainder of my lifetime. I should make something like that, actually.
“You seem frightened.” chromeboy mused, looking directly at me. “Diero, be a dear and bring him over here. I don’t trust him now that Cordax is someone else.” His hand instinctive rubbed his jaw, evidently still sore from the completely deserved kicking I had done a little while ago.
Diero gently set the dangerous nuclear warhead he had been leaning against on the floor and stepped over the furniture to get to me, while Cordax looked confused at how him being his own person meant I couldn’t be trusted. “Diero, keep your distance.” I tried to make my voice as menacing as possible, but it did nothing to deter him. “Last warning, Diero.” I swiped at the outstretched stone fingers that approached my collar. Diero scowled in reply, his beady eyes carrying that questioning suspicion and fear he had demonstrated on the wheelless vehicle.
And then, much to my surprise and concern, the expression disappeared. Replacing it was something far more sinister, far more ominous, something I knew I would regret allowing to occur. It was the light of realization.
Diero stood back, pulling out a cigar and eyeing me with a curious and malicious air - he was clearly planning some future mischief against me. What circled in that hollow head of his? What thoughts were taking shape? Did he find pleasure in these machinations, foreseeing my possible demise in the future? Or was it a satisfaction at having finally uncovered something about myself?
“Well?” chromeboy spoke up, impatient with how long this was taking. Diero lit another match and puffed twice at his cigar with a threatening air, dropping it behind him and squinting at me. They he spun on his heel with his shoulders drawn up to his neck and a comical grin plastered across his face.
“I can’t be a deer.”
It appeared as though chromeboy was mad at this, as he began slamming his hand against the ruined counter, causing Cordax to jolt with each impact. “No, Diero! That was meant as a- a- D-E-A-R DEAR! Not a Deer! I want you to bring Tott over here right now!”
“Why?” Cordax asked. Everyone looked at him for a solid fifteen seconds. Of course I was involved, too; one can’t pass up the opportunity to glare at Cordax.
“Diero, please.” chromeboy insisted. Without another word, Diero turned around and grabbed me by the collar. I didn’t hesitate this time, mainly because the green mist had already dissipated and was- I mean because the corner was nice and warm now, especially since Diero dropped his match.
I forgot to mention, Monopoly is the only person on the globe stupid enough to have shag carpeting. Whoever invented shag carpeting is either a genius or a lunatic, and I’m betting on both.
“What were you so scared for?” chromeboy asked, leaning in to look intimidating. And by look intimidating, I mean not the slightest bit intimidating; he looked more intimidating doing his tired father impression on the wheelless bike. “You know what’s in those bullets, don’t you?”
I thought for a good moment. Yes, I decided, it would be in my best interest to stall this as long as possible. Cordax approached from behind me and I was now completely boxed in by morons, all eager to hear why I liked the corner so much.
“You seem to.” I folded my arms, sending as much ‘I don’t care’ energy up at the party as I could. In response, chromeboy unfolded one of his hands, revealing a good amount of bullets - six, seven, maybe eight. It was hard to tell how many were nestled in his palm. Diero reached for the pile and I greatly overreacted, throwing both arms in front of my face as if mortified of the idea of him opening up another one.
Jethryn leaned in with surprise. “He actually does know.” His voice vibrated with concern. “You know what this means, right?”
“It means it’s time for us to go.” chromeboy stood back up, pocketing the bullets he held as a crackling noise sounded from the back of the room. He held a piece of paper up, and Diero unfolded it with his free hand, running his eyes across it. They traveled back to the anodize airhead - goodness, I love that insult - before returning to the paper.
“Burn all evidence of Monopoly.”
I could feel Cordax’s fear through the back of my neck. The lower half creature advanced across the room and grabbed him by the wrists, and nothing Cordax could do would break his hold. It was as if Cordax’s rather fierce physical strikes and slashing with his knife weren’t even moving the entity’s limb as it dragged him out the door. Jethryn hopped on top of his lower half as it departed, but as chromeboy exited the room he turned back and jabbed a finger at Diero.
“Now.”
Diero bit down on the paper, chewing it into a fine flaky powder and the command inscribed upon it being completely destroyed. He immediately dropped me and began rummaging for papers or whatever he could find to throw into the blazing carpet. His boss nodded confidently and looked with some level of suspicion at myself, but turned away with an air of confidence that I was not capable of interfering with his work.
As soon as he had gone I slowly advanced and closed the door almost entirely. Since it swung outward I got the opportunity to look back into the street, which consisted mostly of the general populous ll wearing Akakus and naively refusing to go back indoors when indicated to by chromeboy and Jethryn, the latter only participating slightly as most of his efforts were put into not falling off his lower half. Cordax still struggled in vain.
Swinging the door closed, I turned back to Diero, who was inspecting an envelope with ‘income tax evasion’ written on it. “There’s nothing about tax evasion in this.” Diero complained, but primarily to himself, before tossing it casually into the blaze, which was beginning to pick up speed. The walls seemed extremely flammable by how quickly the flames were climbing.
I went across the room and moved a large reclining chair aside with a hearty shove. Underneath it was a steel plate in the floor with a circular knob. “There’s something in this.” I mumbled, sticking one hand deep into an inside pocket of my coat. Diero approached, scanned it with his eyes, and then dug his fingers into the metal, carving through it like putty. The door ripped off from the hinges and I swung a vicious backhanded fist directly into Diero’s cheek.
The cadaverous clod fumbled about for a moment, giving me ample time to grab one of the few contents of the safe and thrust it into my inner pocket. To my- surprise, delight, I’m not quite sure what it was that I felt in that moment, but some emotion was triggered by the wicked laugh of the skeletal cowboy returning to his feet.
“I guess I gotta ask.” He mused, walking out of the flames. “You’ve held that secret for a long while now. You almost had me thinking it was me; that in some impossible circumstance I had begun to lose that power so unique to Dreamers like myself. To perform written commands to the letter that no living being can undo!”
He had advanced during this tirade and jabbed a finger in my face even as I started taking one of my gloves off. “Now what’s your secret? No living thing has ever defied my orders; Cordax couldn’t even budge that other fellow’s hand from its command yet somehow you’ve been able to defy me left and right!” He stuck his pointy chin directly in my face, hissing out his contempt. “Now out with it!”
In response I grabbed Diero by the collar and slammed him into the floor, dragging him back up to my eye level in order to glare at him. He was a bit shocked at the ferocity of such a motion, but even more when he saw that one of the two hands holding him in place had its glove removed, exposing the wooden fingers which gripped the cloth around his throat.
“Living?”
–
Happy Christmas, nerds and nerdettes! Hope you’re having a wonderful holiday not going to work on a Saturday and writing up more conspiracy theories based on this newest chapter. Of course, if you’re seeing this tomorrow because like a sane person you cut out social media for the day and gave your carpal tunnel hands a chance to rest, welcome back! I hope your holiday was enjoyable.
Anyway, yes, one of the biggest secrets about this mysterious Tott has finally come to light - he’s Woody Allen! no wait, he’s way creepier than Tott. Hm… I wonder how these circumstances came about?
So Ghid?
Also my theory that the lower half is @GoodGuy2006 has become stronger
Hmm
Wooden fingers…
Tott must just be a puppet of Ghid’s will
I regret to inform you I am not in possession of Will Smith
I would be evil enough to invent shag carpeting, however
Well I’m not outright denying such a theory…
Ok, so you’re just trying to distract me because I’m right?
Heh
Heh heh…
Or because you’re wrong.
Keep in mind the only theory I’ve outright denied is the Tott is cat theory but even that could be read as a cry for help. It’s not, guys Tott is not a cat please stop sending me deviantart friend requests my email inbox is full and I’m afraid to empty it
/s
…I’m not outright confirming it, either.
Heh heh
so at least one word of the statement is correct
wait that wasn’t you
