spicy.
Idk depends on what ghid wants I guess
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Chapter 28
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âAlright, head count.â Renner said, raising his hand.
âTHE HEAD OF EILRACH COUNTS FOR FAR GREATER THAN THOSE OF MORTALS!!â The skeleton lord boomed.
âOkay, let me rephrase.â Renner said, gripping the bridge of his nose. âWho all is here? It looks like a few new faces have-â
âEILRACH IS PRESENT IN THE HEARTS OF ALL WHO TREMBLE AT OUR VISAGE!!â The reply was boomed mere inches from Rennerâs head. I sure am glad I never got to know this idiot, because if he ends up dying later I will shed zero tears.
âThatâs really cool,â Diero said, shoving himself in between the giant skeleton tyrant and his boss. âWho else would like to exist? Anybody? Lemme just name out the ones we know ofâŚâ His eyes traveled the party. âCordax, obviously Renner and Diero, Winger, Tott, um⌠Eilrach-â
âWE ARE EILRACH.â
âFantabulistical.â Diero wormed his way around the obnoxious skeletal anatomy reference. âThereâs some new faces I donât quite recognize, though. Whatâs your name?â He tapped the girl on the shoulder, startling her back into reality.
âUh, uhh, Iâm uh, my nameâs Racie.â She tried to answer while looking around at the considerable horde of weirdos assembled there before her eyes landed on Cordax. âItâs⌠You, you didnât-â
âOh, finally!â Cordax squeaked, cutting through the dunderheads to get to her. âYou were all dead and stuff and green and evil and then you got tore in half and I was really sad but now youâre all right and thatâs really cool and everything! What was dead being like? did you hear some kind of jingle when you died, like um how the heck does that go⌠Give me a minute, Iâll rememberâŚâ
The yellow hazmat figure had circled around the party and was communicating very quietly with Renner, who seemed thoroughly disgusted at the figureâs presence. I sidled over to eavesdrop, but it wasnât necessary since Renner retorted at normal volume.
âAnd why should any of us trust you after youâve made it clear you work primarily for Ghid?â
âIâm telling you, I only have enough charge for one more teleport. You have the option of getting rid of that factory or Iâll use it for my own devices; the choice is yours.â Fifty retorted, fogging up the hazmat suit with his words. âIt appears as though youâre trying to stop some kind of monster or something, so it would be beneficial to your cause to have my assistance, and the offer should be considered.â
âLook out!â Diero shouted, throwing his arms out and looking up at the factory. A large shape was hurdling from it, and crashed violently into the ground in front of the party. Eilrach eyed it curiously before breaking into a terrible roar and rushing towards the crater of impact with furious speed, only for a large boot to violently force him back. A good number of those present got noticeably angrier when Monopoly stepped from the crater.
I quickly placed myself between him and Cordax. The yellow imp was about to walk forward, and stumbled back after walking into me. He seemed mildly offended, but I decided he was the one at fault for walking into me in the first place.
Diero leveled his remaining revolver at the figure while most of the party locked their eyes intently on his evil yellow head. It looked from one person to the next, his pose dangerous, before relaxing and shrugging off the situation.
âYou all hate me, thatâs cool.â Cordax tried to approach again, but I elbowed him back. âI canât blame any of you, but I also donât agree with your opinion of the situation. Thereâs a bigger threat here.â His arm swung towards the floating factory, which was fast approaching the dark wall. âThere are still nuclear weapons on board there, and Iâm fairly confident the freak running that thing is willing to use any or all of them to wipe Ghid off the map.â
âAnd why do you care?â Winger snarled under his helmet. âLast I heard you killed people, so why should this bother you?â
âTwo reasons.â Monopoly said, towering over Winger menacingly. âIf it kills Ghid, I wonât be able to wrench his skull inside out myself, but he will likely find some way to avoid it. And if a nuclear blast goes off, the heat will cook us from here.â
âNO ONE COOKS EILRACH!!â The large skeleton bellowed, shaking the sand in all directions. âI WILL DESTROY THIS BUILDING FOR ITS AFFRONT!!â
âI regret working with any of you,â Fifty sighed. âBut I will do what I must to serve Ghid. Let us eliminate the threat of nuclear weaponry.â
With a raise of his hand, all eyes were drawn to his attempt. âI will remove the facility and send it to the sun.â He snapped his fingers once, then twice, thenâŚ
The dark wall suddenly disappeared.
âAll of you are fools.â Fifty said, slowly taking off his hazmat suit, revealing a slimy blue creature. âGhidâs plans are so far along there is no way any of you can interfere with them. You only further the inevitable with your actions. This nuclear blast might have been stopped by the dark wall, but that is no longer a problem. You will all be eliminated.â
âEILRACH WILL NEVER BE ELIMINATED!!â
âCool,â Renner growled, locking eyes with the strange entity. âYou really shouldâve thought about this, knowing you only had one teleport left.â
Fiftyâs odd limbs contorted into a spiral. âIn the service of Ghid, the facts may be conveyed artificially to his opponents. I only had one for you.â
There was a snap sound, and the entire assembled party was now directly under the shadow of the nuclear testing facility, now situated directly over the small town Ghid had under his thumb. At our arrival a number of nameless folks with Ghidâs face plastered on top ran for their homes, locking the doors after then. Monopolyâs house was still slightly smoking, and he gripped the sides of his head and groaned at the site.
âWhich one of you numbskulls burned my house to the ground?â He growled, whirling around to face the party. Nearly everyone there pointed at Diero, the few who did not initially do so following suit shortly after. The deadsperado quietly raised a finger towards me, and I responded by pointing back at him.
âThose of you who are assembled, I give you the chance to leave.â A voice suddenly sounded from above, followed by a brilliant light. âIf any remain, you go up against perfection itself. Iâm too perfect for you to wound me.â
A violently glowing figure descended, and from the little I could see through the light, he appeared physically flawless, although his face was simply a slab with glowing eyes. Diero suddenly roared, eyes aflame, and the figure responded by zipping forward far faster than the crowd could track, returning to his spot with Dieroâs throat in his grip. âBefore I crush your breathing tract into nothingness, why did you bellow just now?â
âA gift.â Diero handed the figure a card.
The entity dropped Diero and examined the small card. âPerhaps you did not hear me. I am he who was flawed, bent beyond repair, but now I am flawless. Untouchable. I have no need for gifts of any-â
âWell, thatâs over with.â Diero sighed at Renner as the figure was covered in blue flames and taken away, likely to the sun since it seemed to be a favorite spot of the cadaverous cowpoke. âNow where the heck is Ghid? I have a heel that needs to grind his face to powder.â
Cordax violently tapped me on the shoulder. âWhyâd you stop me?â
âWhat.â I turned about, glaring at him for a moment before an image flashed back into my mind - of his head splattered and mangled across the floor. âWhat do you mean?â
âI was going to go see Monopoly, but you stopped me.â Cordax replied. âDid something happen between you two? Heâs a friend of mine, and I think heâs perfectly fine- a bit prickly, and sometimes kills people who were asking for it, but otherwise-â
âYou⌠You donât remember.â
âRemember what?â Cordax frowned. âGoodness, Tott, youâre the only one to mention anything happening. He tore Racie in half, sure, but she was already dead at the time, and I really shouldnât have thrown that rock at his head. he was only trying to protect us from Eilrach existing there, and- um-â
About midway through his response I dropped all pretense of my stoicism and embraced him in a full hug. I imagine now having two arms once more made that easier than with just one, but I never gave anyone a one-armed hug. In retrospect of the situation, I only now realize I needed that far more than he did.
He had instantly retracted his neck back into his shoulders and had an expression of utter repulsion while all his fingers were contorted in disgust, but what made me back off was the realization that Racie was looming over with curiosity at the mention of her name and completely killing the moment. I got over it by remembering her getting torn in half.
âI justâŚâ I started to explain, but sighed away my attempt at caring. âI didnât- oh crap thatâs Ghid.â
Cordax broke free and spun about, yelling an inarticulate noise at the sight of a large figure hunched over a dumpster, chewing on something. An empty tin of peaches fell to the ground. The character turned, ever so slowly, his to hanf twisting towards the group, his hands formed intoâŚ
âŚInto finger guns.
âHey, sport.â
Winger suddenly gagged violently and made every indicator that he was about to throw up. Every pair of eyes turned in slow rotation towards the helmeted figure trying desperately to retain his lunch.
âNo.â Renner looked at Ghid and then back to Winger. âNo. Iâm misinterpreting this. Thereâs no way- youâre not his-â
Ghid gave the epitome of a comical shrug and Winger felt around his throat. âY-yes, he-â
âWHAT.â Renner yelled. âYOU. AND HE. YOUâRE HIS- WHAT.â
âGive him a break.â Jethryn said, putting a hand on Rennerâs shoulder. Oh, did I mention Jethryn is here? He thought he was being all sneaky by circling up on the group and being all ominous, but he was really just obnoxious. He was wearing almost all grey, and still had that horrible trashbag cloak, but look at that - he got his normal legs again! He must be so proud. âThe kid doesnât like Ghid being his dad any more than you do.â
âSo thereâs him, yes, and Iâm sure youâre all happy to see him again.â Ghid grinned, eyeing Renner in particular in case he got any ideas about cards and the sun, but he seemed too thoroughly engaged in having a fit over Jethryn reappearing suddenly. âHowever I figured I should reintroduce you to a friend of my own.â
From the house Ghid had emerged from came a thunderous crashing, and out of the wreckage stood a sinister monster, solid red eyes glowing with pure malice, all eight of his mechanical arms circling him in mesmerizing unison. The suited suspect who had announced him had disappeared. But there was no way this vile thing actually thought it could take on everyone here at once, right?
Right?
â
ahahhahahahahAHAhAHAAHAHAHHAAHAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHHHAAHHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH
sorry, something was in my throat. joy, specifically. completely unrelated to anything at all.
I cannot confirm or deny allegations that there will be thirty chapters
I cannot confirm or deny allegations that I had acid reflux because of this post
Hey, could that guy be @Axelford?
? could fifty be @Dadertrix
Also I think this is probably @Vile_Cephalopod
notahffan please come save me with your theorizing before I die of dead
What a coincidence, I was about to start writing a stupidly long essay with my guesses, theories, explanations and⌠some criticism regarding the book
but ghiddy donât you like my theories?
Are my steamy Fnf theories that Iâve been sending you via messages in bottles not enough?
Actually no, I get it, you cannot confirm or deny allegations that youâre loving them
Iâm fine with your theories, itâs justâŚ
I donât know anymore man
Highly anticipating this. We all know it sucks, but just how it sucks is important to learn and replicate in the futu- I mean avoid. and get better. yeah.
now youâre getting it!
weelllllâŚ
he appeared earlier on in the book, so he got resurrected when all the other characters did. The appearance in this chapter pretty much matches his appearance in the other chapters.
GEE THATâS RIGHT
and now I canât tell if you simply didnât know that was him the whole time or you did know and forgot
âŚ
nah I was pretty sure that was him:
heâs been typing for half an hour
45 minutes now, either a lot of theories or I am about to lose my fingers
itâs been an hour. guys I think heâs writing a new chapter
my lands itâs been two hours - what is he concocting
Three Hours - itâs been Three Hours of typing and Iâm concerned for his health
The image is primed and ready to be deployed at your command, my emperor
this really reminds me that I found a simple way to build the groovinâ lad and I should get around to posting it one of these days
listen here pops donât you âsportâ me
thatâs no way to speak to your father while heâs dumpster diving