it’s a useful skill trust me
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I find this considerably entertaining to read in a calm, slightly sarcastic British accent.
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how do you know what i sound like
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Only Ghid could turn a normal day on the boards into a gritty, noir story.
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Chapter 3
–
You stop for a moment to rest your legs.
Sunlight was finally beginning to have a proper hold over the eastern sky, blazing hues of orange on your left while the purple nighttime retreated to your right. Your journey had been an uninterrupted one, traveling over slopes of grey and the black rocky road, fully expecting it to turn into dirt and loose gravel as you further isolated yourself from modern expansion.
If only you had gotten to the bus on time.
It was all thanks to that cosplaying kid you were lugging over your shoulder. If he had been a little more compliant with being hogtied and didn’t bring a tray of food down on your head you might have made it. You begin to ask yourself why you didn’t just break his neck and get it over with, but the answer - not out of virtue or empathy, no -the real answer came readily to your mind: It would’ve traumatized Cordax.
But he was lagging severely behind after getting too tired from walking and collapsing. Maybe you could simply get it over with here and… Say that he fell? No, too late; you hear his heavy panting and the clicking of his footsteps.
“Oh of course NOW you rest.” Cordax gasped out at you, clearly irritated and exhausted from running. “Sure if I wanna rest I get left behind passed out in the middle of the road, but if you wanna rest YOU can just-”
“There’s a bench here.” You objected, pointing out the bus stop. “Plus, this is where I was heading.”
“Oh really?” Cordax began to retort, but the satisfaction of being able to sit down on an actual seat defused his argument. With an incoherent grumble he plopped down, forcing you to give up a bit of room for him.
“What about him?” Cordax murmured after a moment or so, nudging you and motioning to the bound figure over your shoulder.
“My guess is he fell asleep.” You offered. “It’s not like there’s much you can do face-down in the middle of the night for three hours. But with any luck, he won’t be on my shoulder much longer.”
“…Head…” Winger mumbled, slowly roused by the sound of your voices. “All the blood… Where are we?”
“We,” You began, fully prepared to spin him a wild tale of how you were on your way to sell him into slavery for blood money, before the distant churning of a motor drew your full attention. Slowly standing, you noticed the shining singular headlight of a bus traveling south, and immediately stood in the middle of the road. The bus slowed to a halt right in front of you and Cordax forced open the door.
“What’re you doin’?” The driver said. He had a snappy voice, spoke extremely quickly, and was barely taller than Cordax, yet had a significant number of years under his belt, as his roughened hands jabbed a finger at you as you entered. “This is my transit bus and my paycheck you’re interrupting, and- Hey! Are you paying attention?!”
You plop your captive down in one of the back seats and turn to the driver. “Sir, you are going to turn this bus around and return to the train depot or I will throw you out the back window and do it myself. We are in a rush I might add, so make it snappy.”
The driver’s metallic face set in a vile scowl as he glared into your perfectly spherical head. “Fine. But only because I pay for damages.”
–
9 Likes
Is the bus driver one of us? (Or maybe I’m just stupid I can’t tell who it is) loving the story so far, can’t wait for the next chapter.
1 Like
Every character who makes an appearance is someone from the list. You’ll get more info on this fellow in the next chapter.
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It’s true, I would seek out a position as a bus driver for the sole purpose of mowing down unsuspecting civilians.
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Dream job
Oh wait! I already do that!
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Me when ever there’s a game with cars and citizens
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Chapter 4
–
“If you don’t want to believe I’m a knight, fine. You can be wrong, I ain’t stoppin’ ya.”
You had suffered just about enough of this. “You sound incredibly American, for one thing. For another, I have the highest doubt any living or dead member of British royalty would’ve actually agreed to your title being ‘Sir Keks-a-lot.’”
“I’ll have you know,” Sir Keksalot snapped back, “That the queen was very drunk that night.”
You rubbed your fingers against the top of your circular head in the general location of a theoretical forehead before your attempts to alleviate your headache were washed away in a sea of stinging irritation by Cordax’s voice. “Oh yeah? Which queen? Mary? Elizabeth? Victoria? Elizabeth again?”
Your glowing head flushed into a swirling mass of red and orange, burning brightly as you swivel to face Cordax. “I brought you for the comedic relief. But if you utter another word in my presence from here to the factory I will knee you in the face with enough force to implode your cranial cavity which you refuse to lease out as a gas tank.”
“Would you shut up?” Sir Keksalot swung around and hissed at your particularly featureless face. “I’ll be stringing you up by your calf tendons on the rear bumper of this bus if you so much as spit on those cushions. I may not get the best routes but my reputation for ‘cleanest interior of an operating public transportation unit’ isn’t about to be ruined by some tempermental snowglobe in winter fashion.”
You sigh, relapsing back into the chair as your swirling consciousness returns to its normal blue. Cordax has retracted all the way to the cab wall and would have remained paralyzed for the rest of the cab drive, had you not grabbed him by the collar and stood him up thirty minutes later.
“See that?” You pointed out the windshield towards what appeared to be some overly science fiction nuclear power plant surrounded by smaller buildings, silos, and agricultural equipment. “That’s it, Cordax. Much, much larger up close. That’s why we’re going by train.”
Cordax didn’t respond, simply quivering in your grip, only looking out the windshield briefly because he was commanded to. You sighed deeply and set him down, him immediately dropping to the floor and continuing to stare up at you in terror. The bus pulled into a station which was clearly abandoned some long time ago, where a bizarre contraption vaguely resembling a train was waiting, impatiently vibrating on the rails.
You gently pushed Cordax along, which caused him to tumble into a sprint out of the doors. You collected the silent Winger whose glare you could feel underneath his franchise pandering helmet boring through your puffy coat, but an orange metal arm stopped you with a snap of its fingers.
“I don’t mind the exaggerated threats and the hogtying of whoever that is.” Sir Keksalot mumbled. “Even if you did the tying wrong and all. But I’ve seen too many slick injustices done by stupid know-it-alls like yourself. Now that Cordax is a nice kid. You treat him that way or I ain’t pickin’ you back up when this is done. You can hitchhike for all I care.”
“I could kill you now, and-”
You weren’t allowed to finish that sentence, as Sir Keksalot nearly inverted your lower arm and threw you over your own head out of the bus. Your deft driver brushed his hands off and looked down from the bottom of his eyes.
“Get on better standings or I’ll keep my promise to the letter.”
He turned away and the doors closed.
Then they opened again.
“For the record, I was referring to the hamstringing bit.”
–
14 Likes
Ooh goodie a nuclear power plant, I wonder where this is going. Great job so far
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Chapter 5
–
With a grunt you stand up as the bus pulls away. Cordax immediately rushes over and helps you stand. “How did I do?”
“With helping me up?” You jab, feeling your elbow. “Fine, could’ve tried to catch me, but I’d give you a seven-point-five. You’ll have to try harder for a ten.”
“No, no, with the act.” Cordax protested, folding his arms across his chest as he tried to appear cool. “I knew you were trying to intimidate me so I played it up as best I could. Was it any good? Think I fooled him?”
You stared at Cordax for a moment. “You got me a twisted elbow and a possible concussion. Yes, tremendous job.” You dusted yourself off and looked with suspicion at the train, questioning its ability to not fall apart on its own.
“Don’t blame your inflexibility on me.” He scoffed. “Now where is everyone else? And uh… I think your present got unwrapped early.”
Winger stood, cutting the last of the ropes with a concealed knife in a very Mandalorian-esqe gauntlet, which like the other highlights on his uniform was a bizarre teal color which clashed heavily with the metallic black and rough steel. “I know I can’t run or attempt to kill you, Monopoly, but don’t turn your back on me. I’ll find a way.”
“I’m sure.” You grumbled.
The three of you step onto the train, immediately taken aback by the fumes of coal and iron. The lighting is poor, but your glowing head illuminates the cab. The windows are all partially open, both doors are closed and locked with a chain, and the cab is full of people. The first across from the door is a girl who is too busy hiding inside her hoodie and listening to her earbuds to pay much attention to you. You assume she is the only normal human being here, as an extremely refined mechanical biped creature walks up to you and threateningly places a long, elaborate blade against your chest.
“Names and identification.” It blurted out, completely devoid of any verbal emotion, its eyes and elongated head glowing a bright yellow.
“Back off, threepio.” Cordax growled, opening his switchblade knife. “Cordax and Mister Monopoly, and we were invited.”
“Forced.” You commented, gently nudging the blade away from your ribcage.
“Whatever. So get your shiny hands offa him or I’m sticking this in your ankles.” He waved it about in a manner you could only assume was intended to be menacing. “You don’t wanna hear about the last machine didn’t listen to me. Cash register. Refused to give me my chains. So I stuck a CVS receipt in the cash slot and-”
“C’mon.” You pushed past the robot and dragged Cordax by the shoulder, throwing him into a chair before sinking into one next to him. Winger remained by the door. “I take it we’re the last ones before we head off?”
“Yeah, and you sure took your sweet time.” A fellow in a black mask jabbed, green lights glowing from his eyes and any other visible hole in the mask. “Who’s he?” He motioned with his head at Winger, who was beginning to act uncomfortable with the mechanical man glaring holes into him.
“He’s along for the ride. Don’t have a choice. Can I get names?”
“Krelikan.” The masked man snapped, causing the robot to relax and step back. “Mine’s Pakari. She’s Racie. You do know why Krelikan’s coming, right?”
“I don’t know why any of you are coming.” You huffed. “I could do this job alone.”
“Cool, we’ve got mister full-of-himself along for the ride.” Pakari groaned. “A squad was already sent with double this number. They haven’t come back or sent any message in a month. If there’s any sort of severe threat we need to be able to trust you to set that holier than thou attitude-”
“What?!” You nearly sprung out of your seat. “Those numbskulls waited a full MONTH to send another group out? Are they mad?!”
“Ugh, shut UP.” Racie groaned, shifting to face the other direction. “Power’s probably just out, we’ll be fine. We’ve got a train this time.”
You can feel Cordax tapping you on the leg. Was it a message that he needed to talk? Was he thinking you were taking this way too far? Or maybe he didn’t like the idea that this might come to blows. Regardless, in spite of it looking a lot like you were buckling to Racie’s statement, you relapsed back into your seat with a sigh. “So how do we proceed?”
“Get in, do a quick check to make sure it’s safe for demolition, rescue the first group, and leave. And if the rumors are true - if Ghid really is there after all this time - we perform an arrest.”
“A citizen’s arrest.” You corrected.
“A full arrest. The lead of the first party, Agent Bird, is a riot officer Type 12 with permafuse Stanford body armor. Well, shall we, Wild?”
To answer his question, a small glowing spark flew from outside the window into the cab. It moved slowly as if scanning the present party, before turning towards Pakari. “Okay chief, everyone buckle in.” Its voice was surprisingly deep for a glowing speck. “This is a high-flying express trip with no vomit bags, and if you aren’t buckled in that’s your own fault!”
Cordax whispered to you as he buckled in. “Who’s agent Bird? Is he a, um… Bird?”
–
12 Likes
bruh it’s green.
coughproductplacementcough
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Ah yes our typical teenager. Not very suspicious. Definitely isn’t running a secret organization, that would be preposterous 
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you found me out, I sell CVS receipts 
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Truly the lowest scum in all of history.
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Can confirm, light does indeed glow out of me everywhere it can.
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except for your soul.
It’s all dark in there.
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