The Book of Tears | ARMAGHIDDON

well yes it is n01 but there is still no explanation as to what


also, the silly little ai guy seems a bit nicer than he used to

though I guess he was being controlled by eilrach or something idk i’m not smart enough for these books


maybe the restart button made him nicer


He’s now Steve Jobs defending Apple against allegations…


patience lacroixdax, he just got here

man’s got a lot of explaining to do about a lot of things


I have a theory that traykar will appear in the next chapter and atobe will appear in the chapter after that :sunglasses:


I didn’t sign up for BoT but Cordax has great ideas, Ghiddy :sunglasses:


oh wait
YOoo I’m in BoT!
I completely forgot that I signed up xD


Yeah, I still don’t know how such a genius idea came to my mind. It must have been some kind of divine intervention (we’re only 57 posts away from the magical number, let’s keep going, come on guys we can do it)

Wait, wait, wait, we’re not doing any more of those nerdy meme songs, are we? Let’s take a look outside and see how lucky we are to live in a beautiful world like this, because you see, Any time and any season, There’s a rhyme and there’s a reason…

There’s a darkness skeleton within me

I tried to peel my eyes with a razor (it didn’t work well)

Man I really thought this one was going to fly under the radar.

I guess I need to try harder next time if I want to stay in one piece

How can you be quoting Sun Tzu without crediting him? Kinda unbased and maybe a little cringe to be completely honest

Alright bet. Name fifteen.

Listen man, it’s no good when your theoriser is sleep deprived, okay?


Chapter 13

This one is CHONK

Aight, Racie a real gamer. Unplugging someone from life support for the sake of a little trolling is the most gamerest move there is.

I’ll threw a body pillow filled with osmium at your face if you don’t fix that typo :rage:

His next meeting with Monopoly is going to be hella awkward. And don’t even try to tell me that they aren’t going to meet, this is the only possible choice from the narrative perspective. And I just predicted it :sunglasses:

Ha ha get trolled

Honestly, Racie is such a mood in this. She’s slowly starting to become one of my favourite characters

Oh, that’s so convenient. I would have never expected him to go into an in-character monologue detailing his entire motivations and why exactly he’s suddenly beginning a hostile takeove. Such a plot twist

Oh oh oh I know what this is. Tott got hit with one of those things once. It knocks you out and sends you into a Pyro from TF2-style psychotic hallucination of happiness and kindness.

Also, fun fact: an entire book was named after these things.

Okay, let’s go over Zippy’s exposition monologue:

That’s probably the thing the main world Ghid uses to contact otherworldly Ghids like Mc’Gick and Ghidius

That’s the thing Diero was wearing around his neck and that was left over in the middle of the explosion where Diero “died”

That’s Diero and his gang, aka the first Dreamers

Eh, he’ll be fine. I mean, come on, he’s Ghid’s son after all

So I guess I was up to something when I was rambling about Racie knowing a little too much about Dreamers

Oh, so that’s who was the master of the dreamers that chased after Renner’s party at the beginning of BoD when they were going to the tower. Well, despite Zippy’s bravado here, that plan to get rid of Renner backfired on him in the worst way possible

I remember that! Foreshadowing most of the time becomes obvious only after the thing it is foreshadowing to is revealed.

It’s such a clever move on Racie’s part to use the dead Tott body as a distraction for Zipper, knowing that Ghid is his biggest insecurity.

Also, now I feel that my new year themed BoT drawing was prophetic, since I drew the then-Heyzorks trying his best to copy Ghid’s facial expression.

See, this is why you should never trust AI art. Some day it might turn on you and decide to conquer the world while insulting you behind your back.

Well, we should thank Renner for this one. He has just saved Winger’s entire party completely accidentally.

Man, this Zippy guy is such a nice, sweet angel, I sure hope he doesn’t die a horrible death with his heart full of despair…

Heh, I said he would be fine

Haha get trolled nerd

Guys guys look! Guys look it’s amazing guys!

Nobody is there.

Now excuse me, I will pet myself on the back and shake my hand for theorising about this character’s identity several months ago and being absolutely correct.

So, overall, this chapter was considerably above average. Good tension, good fights, many exciting revelations, all characters present served a purpose and contributed to the chapter’s development, Racie was an absolute menace (she basically carried the entire fight), satisfying conclusion with Zippy being beaten in an extremely satisfying way… this is a very good chapter.

In short, 0/10, did not enjoy :sunglasses:

You see, an absent father’s favourite drink is nothing compared to the greatness of…

Dr Pepper, the favourite drink of the Streamer Knight, Sir Asmonbold the Gold, the Lord of Diabetes

My man is making great progress in the theorising department with these bold and whacky theories. If you keep on going at this rate, you will be able to inherit the theoriser title from me in no time


Ok since i’m trying to turn over a new leaf since my old cringe days i have actually been reading this

I liked the part where i died


aight so let me say that (no I still havent caught up, once schools out I promise I will) you guys arguing between root beer and dr pepper just confirms that the boards is the perfect place to be, those are the two sodas I prefer most out of anything, to the point where Ive been called a root beer connoisseur at least once or twice

with that in mind, I must bring out my counter:


Ch 13

Chapter 14

Attention, my loyal populous!

That was Zippy’s voice. A couple of my Dreamers turned to look at the massive projection lighting up the side of a ruined building. Diero, still spinning the screaming metal bar, paid no heed as he continued carving through the heads of the Dreamers unfortunate enough to draw near.

I have a new directive for you: In the case of my being cut off, due to having to deal with some Troublesome Idiots down here, I have a command to issue.” The flat figure made an inhaling motion. “DREAM: TEAR 'EM UP!

Now have fun with your little cleanup!” Zippy smiled, disappearing away as the Dreamers bellowed yellow flames and all the officers cheered. “King Zippy! Zippy our rightful King!”

While the officers praised Zippy, our rightful King, the Dreamers, who were emboldened by the dream, rushed forward with mouths aglow, biting into several of my Ghid Dreamers and taking large chunks out of them. Well, as you can imagine, I was slightly annoyed by this, and began swallowing them whole into my many maws, which I imagine must have been fun for Renner to deal with on the other side. In spite of this however, my numbers were thinning rapidly, and the little imp’s supply of the nasty things seemed inexhaustible.

“You need to reach your master.” I calmly informed Diero, who was beginning to be overwhelmed before a dozen Ghid hands smashed into his oppressors. “He will need your assistance.”

“Look, lemme be clear.” Diero hissed back. “I don’t trust you, my boss doesn’t trust you, the whole world doesn’t trust you, and I’m pretty sure you don’t trust you either.” He lobbed a piece of rubble, which belted a number of Dreamers as it flew. “So why in the world would I ever-”

“Call it a hunch,” I replied, even as the Dreamer I was speaking through got an eye bitten off by one of my unsavory opponents. “but I suspect your master will be needing backup in there.”

“Why?” Diero raised an eyebrow at me, and then let his jaw drop as I unhinged my jaw yet again to gulp down another opponent. “Okay right, point made. Here.” He handed me the metal bar, who quickly realized what was about to happen.

“Oh, no no no. You are NOT about to swallow me whole. Not the one to trust, not happening, this is not how I die, PUT ME DOWN DO YOU UNDERSTAND?! I AM NOT YOUR LUNCH- NO NO NO NO AAAAUUUGGHGHHH” he wailed as I stuffed him down my gullet. Somewhere inside that other world, I knew, Renner would appreciate a weapon to fight the Dreamers with, especially one so… Willing as that one was.

Although mostly it was to get rid of the screams I had to endure from him up until then.

In spite of my new technique, however, the Dreamers under Zippy’s control were making short work of my many hosts, quickly thinning the number down to under a hundred of them. Evidently Diero was much more experienced at the whole being a Dreamer thing than I was.

“Y’know what I wish I had right now?” Diero growled, as he sent his heel into another Dreamer, flinging it back atop a pair of its associates. “A gun. All these bullets on me are completely worthless without something to- Hey…” With a wily grin, he cracked open one of the special bullets containing Eilrach’s form, which quickly zipped into the closest free Dreamer and looked around.

Yeah no.

“What?” Diero’s jaw dropped as I tried to hold back another pair of Dreamers so he could have a moment. “Y’know I kind of thought you’d be ecstatic about another opportunity to rule the world, and… Stuff. Wasn’t that your whole shtick?”

I’ve had some time to dwell on that.” Eilrach replied, looking into the horizon solemnly as Diero focused on a rapidly approaching object of considerable size. “Now, I realize the futility in such an endeavor, and the true value of life isn’t about the time spent destroying all who stand in your way in a merciless reign of destruction and terror to stamp out the last shreds of hope in the universe, but it’s about-

Eilrach looked up at the large, battered convertible Diero had caught, which was towering over him in the deadsperado’s strained clutches. “Oh. You wouldn’t mind if I…?

“Mind if you whaeaahhgh” Diero replied, recoiling his head back as a Dreamer bit through Eilrach’s stony neck. The greenish gas which escaped quickly flowed into the brandished automobile, and the engine roared in Diero’s grip.

The bone-headed bungler’s bumpy grin grew exaggerated as his brows lowered in malicious delight. Reeling about, he used the automobile as a club to send the closest Dreamers flying over the debris, Eilrach taking the opportunity to grind a tire on the face of one of his opponents. Slamming the car down, the lights flickered on, and Diero vaulted into the driver’s seat.

“Let’s book it!” He howled, motioning for me to get in.

I must admit, the assistance was greatly appreciated, as most if not all of the Dreamers had abandoned any hope of taking down Diero and were all dogpiling me, carving through my well-tailored bodies like flames through paper. With only one body in any reasonable condition, I let the last few tattered ones drop and bolted with all my impressive speed towards the car, hopping in the back just as Eilrach released the brake, sending it rocketing forwards over the rubble and out of the crater.

“Where did this vehicle come from?” I politely inquired. “Last I had checked, free parking wasn’t available around my tower.”

“Well,” Diero scratched his bony chin, leaning against the door of the car. “I’d say that, when one car gets sent flying through the air with such specific aim, it’s quite possible that another one- well, what do you know.” He shrugged casually, suddenly gripping the seat as Eilrach quickly turned to avoid a large van which crumpled into a deformed sheet of metal as it impacted the ground. Up in the distance, a looming colossus slowly made itself visible out of the shroud of darkness, and I had a hunch it was formed, yet again, out of however many Dreamers Zippy could scrape together, although this one seemed considerably larger than the one last dealt with.

And with Eilrach far less combative than previously, loosing him on the pile wouldn’t work nearly as well as a solution to the problem. I had buckled myself in, reaching out briefly to my other hosts to see which of them survived the conflict, while my mind tried to come up with a surefire plan to eradicate this monster. The police were suspiciously absent, and the ones that were around were running and hiding in whatever they could, leaving only the Dreamers to chase after-


Chapter 15


nooo I wanted a cordax and n01 chapter :sob:

though this one is very good


It’s GTA time.

1 Like

Tonight on Top Gear
I get bit to death by an angry mob
James takes part in the Cars 3 experience he never asked for
and Hammond is bad to the bone

We keep spinning on this tiny rock in circles Could have spawned in much less pleasing place Be squeezed to death in outer space Or frozen in thе system of-

:eye: :eye: :sweat_drops:


“Hold out baits to entice the enemy. Feign disorder, and crush him.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

The dawn of the future

also trash

New chapter theorizing time

I cannot confirm or deny allegations that @Racie02 is @gamerjoey1

I’ll threw up :face_vomiting:

B-But I can’t confir-

I can’t-


Don’t let it get toy ou


How am I supposed to read your theorizing when there’s so many typos, ugh man I can’t even

that sounds horrible! who would make such a thing

Okay, let’s give helpful and meaningful answers to these theories:

I cannot confirm or deny allegations that Ghid talks to himself in the mirror for hours

I cannot confirm or deny allegations that Diero wears a mirror on his neck

I cannot confirm or deny allegations that Diero has any friends

I cannot confirm or deny allegations that I will lose all the money I saved in unpaid child support with payments for Winger’s therapy

I cannot confirm or deny allegations that Racie is such a gamer she has information other people don’t

Yep! The unnamed antagonistic force of BoD was Zippy, who’d been making a Dreamer army in secret all along muahahahahahahahahaha

Whenever I can, I try to make the foreshadowing extremely difficult to notice and then pretend I’m so smart for all the- I mean sometimes I make something happen that seems inconsequential, so you gotta watch for that, as it might have consequences later on.

Oh the misery

Everybody hates this worse than nickelback



Okay, okay :dizzy_face: the book isn’t over yet pal



Well root beer is not only better, it’s older too, and it doesn’t need 23 flavors to be good:

Root beer has been drunk in the United States since at least the eighteenth century. It has been sold in confectionery stores since at least the 1840s, and written recipes for root beer have been documented since the 1860s. In the nineteenth century, it was often consumed hot. It was combined with soda as early as the 1850s; at that time it was sold as a syrup rather than a ready-made beverage.

The name “Dr. Pepper” was first used commercially in 1885. It was introduced nationally in the United States at the 1904 Louisiana Purchase Exposition as a new kind of soda pop, made with 23 flavors. Its introduction in 1885 preceded the introduction of Coca-Cola by one year. It is also known for being stinky and bad :triumph:

See? Wikipedia can’t be wrong :sunglasses:

It’s been one chapter my bruh :pensive:

net time on the pain train we get to see how the shiny simpleton is doing :goo: presumably he and Monopoly have made peace and conducted a successful treaty to which all party members agree :blush:


very nice new chapter. I like the battle scenes and the very end is interesting

1 Like

Ch 14

Chapter 15

The book was nowhere to be found. Perhaps that was why Renner found himself being referred to as such and not You.

I don’t mean to be a bother,” Monopoly began, but Renner hardly allowed him to finish. With a flick of his wrist, he buried the brutish brawler in a mountain of snow, which slammed into him from all sides, towering over the skyline as a colossal pile. A door opened in the base of it, and Monopoly walked out.

I don’t mean to be a bother, b-” He tried again to relay his sentence, but was once again interrupted, this time by Renner rocketing forward and, gripping him by the coat, hurled him towards the side of a mountain, which splintered under the immense pressure of the impact. The sun shone once more in the sky, and once more it turned blue, now representing the miles-high Monopoly.

I really don’t mean to bother you with this.” Monopoly finally said, his voice making the ground tremble and the air vibrate with every syllable. “But why didn’t you do something more with this incredible power here? I can reshape the world to my whim, I can… I can resurrect all life in the universe and kill them off again with the slightest thought. You had all this potential here.

“A long while ago I was reminded it’s not the power you have, it’s what you do with it.” Renner growled. “And you’ve proven why such power unchecked can lead only to villainy.” He gripped a small stone on the ground and threw it, the action pulling up a massive stone blade which flew towards the sun to skewer it.

I’m no villain.” Monopoly responded, the blue sun growing impossibly large as Renner found himself lifted off the ground by Monopoly’s open palm, rapidly outpacing the rocky sword which still flew through the air. “I’m just bored.

“You aided the greatest threat to the world, killed dozens of people, set off a nuclear bomb, and are now trying to kill me all because you’re bored?!” Renner growled, the stone blade finally arriving and piercing the blue sun, spewing light in all directions.

The massive grip of Monopoly closed around its target, plunging Renner into impenetrable darkness. “It was that or do the dishes, and I had a lot of dishes.

Renner tried to push back against the darkness, if only to mention that Monopoly’s house had contained zero dirty dishes when he had arrived, but it seemed impossible. He was slowly coming to grips with how this duality of power was operating, but the unrelenting pressure of the dark and the assurance that all hope was lost closed in around his mind. There seemed to be no escaping that fate, of utter failure and of ceasing to be.

No. Renner bared his teeth, which was a concept becoming less and less tangible each moment. This is what Ghid tried to do to sway my thoughts before. I won’t be having it. I won’t!

The pressure on his very existence was growing unbearable. He’s trying to crush me out of existence… I can’t fight back against nothing. But I have to exist! He’s trying to make it so I’ve never been… I have to be! I have to!!

You want to be?” A voice replied. “Well, I’ve been before, and friend, you’re not the Hero I’m acquainted with, but I have a feeling you’ll do…

Why are you?” Renner inquired.

No one in p- Oh come on, I’m not making that joke.” The voice groaned, Renner not quite sure what the issue was. “Just give me the room to operate, mister, and I’ll show you what I can do.

Wrenching back out of the darkness, Renner immediately sent a downwards hook to Monopoly’s round noggin, which sent the brawler reeling. Monopoly immediately made space after the blow, which Renner utilized by getting clocked upside the head by a piece of falling metal.

“Ow! Where’d you- oh.” Renner looked at the axle which had clobbered him. “How’d you get in here? Did you die in the real world?”

“No. I just have less wind resistance than they do.” The axle replied, the gravity in his voice making it clear Renner should look up. In the sky above them, slowly falling through the clouds, came a large plethora of Dreamers, somewhere in the hundreds, all with mouths aglow with the yellow flames of Zippy’s command. Looking back down at the axle, Renner suddenly formed a devious grin on his face.

“My day has gone from bad to worse, I was eaten alive by a psychopath, please tell me you’re not going to do something horrible.” The axle protested, but largely in vain, as any reaction he may have had to the process was smothered by him folding in on himself.

“I don’t have Diero, so you’ll have to make do.” Renner grinned, gripping the now-liquid metal in his hands and raising it up as it took a more refined shape. “I’m no good with an axle, but I’m not too shabby with a gun.”

“More specifically,” Renner pulled the metal apart as it coalesced into two pointed weapons in his hands. “Guns that can shoot forever.” The barrels blazed with blue flame, and there was an eery silence.

“Okay honestly, this is less bad than I thought it would be.” The axle commented. “I didn’t think being two separate… things wouldn’t stop me from being one me, and wait why am I complementing you after you TURNED ME INTO A PAIR OF GUNS WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU-”

“It seems Ghid tries to kill us, even in here.” Monopoly implied a frown as he looked up. There was an ominous stillness that settled across the snow for a moment, and the numerous bodies of Dreamers smashed into the ground around the pair, all rising to their feet and roaring in fury. “When I get out of here I’ll cook that fiend for good.”

“Then let’s sure we get there.” Renner braced himself, brandishing his pistols at the Dreamers surrounding them. Monopoly cracked his knuckles, then reached for his own head and took it off the metal supports which held it in place, rolling it around in his hand for a moment.

“You take the left ones.”

“Did you just-” Renner did a double take at the sight of Monopoly with his head off, and again as Monopoly rushed forwards, his head traveling through the air like an evil glowing bowling ball, carving through every Dreamer it made contact with. His motions seemed to control its trajectory, following his limbs very closely as he punched, kicked, and elbowed every Dreamer around him. Renner, however, stuck to the rock-bottom reality that was reality-defying revolvers that could shoot an infinite amount of ammo coated in blue flame, the axle coming to the conclusion that if he tried hard enough, maybe he could wake up and end the nightmare.

There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. Uh, you wouldn’t mind clicking the barrels together or something?” The axle asked, trying to be heard over the noise of each shot sounding off. “I’m not sure which part of the gun corresponds to a shoe, but-”

“Little busy!” Renner barked back, ducking one Dreamer before giving another Dreamer’s head some ventilation. “There’s a lot of these things here at the moment. I’ll just…” His eyes closed for a moment, and all the Dreamers were gone when he opened them. “Good. I forget just how much I can do here.”

“And you.” Renner slowly turned around, looking at Monopoly, whose head suddenly snapped back into place. “We’re in a very unique circumstance where I actually have the option to detain you and ensure you go to trial.”

Monopoly didn’t respond, only closing the gap dangerously fast and throwing a vicious hook at Renner. But he suddenly found himself infinitely far away, staring at Renner’s vague silhouette, which now rested atop a lonesome peak. “Those Dreamers were exactly the distraction I needed to keep you from noticing this reforming.”

“Hello!” The book spoke, writing itself in feverish fashion. “The last time I was I served a major purpose, but this role is truly critical to the order of things! I promise not to let you down, mister Renner!”

“Now you two keep each other company, all right?” Renner grinned as the tear in reality appeared once more. “I’ve got to go ensure Ghid gets put under for good this time, and I’m not stopping until I do. Au revior, Monopoly; it’ll take you a month to reach this book, and I’ll be back by then.”

So saying, Renner turned, and facing the tear, he stepped through.

“You ought not to do that.” Monopoly deadpanned as he watched the tear close, pulling out a small assortment of silvery shards. “I might get bored in here.”

Ch 16


ghid you gotta be kidding me

I need to know what happens to n01 and the yellow gremlin


it just got posted you don’t know if they don’t show up

next chapter sweetie pie :goo:



Epic background picture there.


Renner’s so cool look at him go