The Book of Tears | ARMAGHIDDON

well that came out of nowhere

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Not me when new chapter

IMG_2537

We got a number one victory royale Yeah fortnite we bout to get down (get down)

whaaaat

Well I am reading BoT when I could be reading Tolstoy or something, so you’re probably right.

Wait wait wait is this some kind of me being into feet allegation you’re making?

You know I would never!

This is a weird way to say peak human physique


Chapitre dix-huit

I sure wasn’t. This got very heavy real fast.

I see you’ve been correcting typos… I can’t believe you are trying to take away the pleasure of finding them and mocking you for not being able to wrtie properly from me :pensive:

Me on a Saturday morning

Where’d he get that tear from? I thought he was too preoccupied getting his arm torn off by a small pitbull a moment ago to collect the legendary loot from the deceased policemen

If her inner world is that, this must be Racie face reveal

It would be pretty neat to find out more about how Renner and Diero first met and how this whole dynamic between them started…

I’m glad that redditors are finally getting the representation they deserve.

Well
My name is Skyler White yo
My husband is Walter White, yo
ah-ha

you can never get rid of all of them

I think you nailed the tone and the emotion of this whole scene with Tott and Racie quite well. It’s all surprisingly profound and well written. The emotions of characters are carried over well, you can really feel them. This also solidifies Tott/Ghid as the most well written character in these books. I remember you saying that you put the biggest effort into his characterisation and it shows. You can see him change as you read, until a completely different side of his character is revealed to you and-

Wait I’m not supposed to be saying those things…

Uhhhhhhhh dumb stupid chapter, 0/10, didn’t even read :triumph:

Also, cordax wasn’t even mentioned once, -50/10 :angry:


Can’t wait to find out what whimsical shenanigans Renner and the gang will be up to in the next chapter

Amogus

6 Likes
Ten kills on the Boards right now Just wiped out Tottmato Town

The only thing peaking is his mic :sunglasses: :smirk: :triumph: :100: :fire: :open_mouth:

bro can’t even lift :pensive:

boy this better have been intentional :eye: :eye:

The power of Ghid not noticing the scene for a few moments leads to many pathways (characters doing things without being observed) some consider unnatural…

Tales Of BoT/D, most likely

TOO LATE

(so the gif loads it’s going outside of the summary)

fair

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I’m really really behind so I think I’m just going to start from the beginning and reread ramblings

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i’ve done that multiple times before

it’s pretty fun but you need quite a bit of time

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Ch 18

Chapter 19












Aɯαƙҽ.

I opened my eyes.

To declare myself as being in one form or another would be discrepant with the truth. I was more properly defined as a void, with chagrin. My senses were flying wildly in every direction, and yet in spite of this bizarre shift in perspective, I could clearly feel the sensation of viewing the world with four eyes, as before.

The area around me seemed an infinite void of blue and black, pulsating with life, as if these two forces were intertwined on a galactic scale, each vying for dominance over whatever lay beyond. The blue glowed almost white, and the black seemed to seep the light away into nothingness, but both forces combined gave me the undeniable sensation that I was being looked at.

Rude.

A voice… I guess ‘spoke’ would also be the wrong word choice, but I find myself at a loss of words for how to describe it, so that’s what you get.Aɾҽ ყσυ αɯαƙҽ?It inquired, seeming both uncomfortably close and painfully distant at the same time.

“Not for long, with a voice as boring as yours.” I replied. No, not even being in a strange ethereal realm beyond the levels of comprehension I was capable of would prevent me from being pretentious.

I know not what a voice is.The voice replied.Nσɾ ɯԋყ ყσυ ƈԋσσʂҽ ƚσ ιɳƚҽɾɳαʅʅყ ɾҽϝҽɾ ƚσ ɱҽ αʂ σɳҽ. Bυƚ I ƙɳσɯ ყσυ αɾҽ ϝɾσɱ Ⴆҽყσɳԃ, ɯιƚԋ ρσɯҽɾ ιɳ ყσυ, ҽʅʂҽ ყσυ ƈσυʅԃ ɳσƚ ƚɾαʋҽʅ ԋҽɾҽ.

Oh, great. This thing can read minds. I wasn’t caught off guard too much; dealing with Renner’s little rebellion reminded me of what holding that kind of power was like. “And yet you show little concern for this.”

Yσυɾ ιɳιƚιαʅ ρҽɾϝσɾɱαɳƈҽ Ⴆɾσυɠԋƚ ɱσʂƚ σϝ ɱყ ƈσɳƈҽɾɳ ƚσ ყσυɾ ɯҽʅʅႦҽιɳɠ.The figure replied.I ƙɳҽɯ ɳσƚ ιϝ ყσυ ɯҽɾҽ ʅσʂιɳɠ ყσυɾ ԋσʅԃ σɳ ҽxιʂƚҽɳƈҽ, ʂσ I ɾҽραιɾҽԃ ყσυɾ ҽɱσƚισɳʂ, ɯԋιƈԋ ɯҽɾҽ ϙυιƚҽ ʂԋαƚƚҽɾҽԃ.

I could feel myself getting angry again. “And who are you to manipulate others like this?” I know, you must think it ironic that this occurred, and hypocritical that I take such offense to it. But remember that I’m being pretentious here.

Wσυʅԃ ყσυ ɾαƚԋҽɾ I ɾҽƚυɾɳ ყσυ ƚσ ƚԋαƚ ʂƚαƚҽ σϝ Ⴆҽιɳɠ?

“NO.” I rather coldly responded, and then, to make it seem less like I was trying to avoid it, “No more tampering. Tell me, instead, what this rather boring place is and how I can leave.”

I ԋαʋҽ ϝҽʅƚ ყσυɾ Ⴆҽιɳɠ Ⴆҽϝσɾҽ.The figure replied, seemingly ignoring my request.Sσ ɱαɳყ σϝ ყσυ, ιɳ ʂσ ɱαɳყ ԃιϝϝҽɾҽɳƚ ɯαყʂ… Eαƈԋ ϝιɳԃιɳɠ α ριҽƈҽ. Eαƈԋ ƚɾყιɳɠ ƚσ ʂƚαყ ιɳ ƈԋαɾɠҽ. Sσ ɱαɳყ σϝ ƚԋҽɱ ɯιƚԋ ƚԋιʂ ҽɱρƚιɳҽʂʂ ƚԋαƚ-

“Sensitive topic.” I growled as much as this state of existence would allow me to. “I would like to go now, if you would so oblige.”

Wԋσ ιʂ Cσɾԃαx?

“………Uh,” I replied to the rather abrupt and altogether peculiar inquiry. “He’s a… A friend. He’s got it where it counts, even if he does come up short in a few areas.” You have no idea how pleased I was with myself for that albeit incredibly forced pun, and equally disappointed that the ominous voice didn’t pick up on it.

Hҽ ɯιʅʅ Ⴆɾιɳɠ υʂ ϝσɾƚԋ.The voice replied, even as the blue lights started getting brighter and brighter.A ʂαƈɾιϝιƈҽ, αʅσɳҽ. I ϝҽҽʅ ყσυɾ ԋαɳԃ ɱσʋιɳɠ ƚԋҽ ϝυƚυɾҽ. Yσυ αɾҽ ϝαɾ ɱσɾҽ ρσɯҽɾϝυʅ ƚԋαɳ ყσυ ɾҽαʅιȥҽ.

The lights grew too bright to perceive.


“I had heard it before.” Cordax replied, sulking back slightly.

Winger gave a deep sigh in reply. “Look, let’s- oh. Oh.

A large portion of the wall had moved aside, and revealed a hidden room with bookshelves lining the walls, a small stool, and an archaic metal mirror. Or, at least, the frame for it, as the inside was completely empty. The room this was originally concealed in looked the same as before, albeit without the additions of the decapitated body and the ruined robotic shell.

Racie was off to the side, her eyes red and moist, trying to avoid contact with Gofers, who was doing an abominably bad job at comforting her. Winger was crouching by the entrance to the hidden room, inspecting a keypad which his finger traveled over - the A, O, R, S, T, and V keys, respectively. Cordax was eyeing the mirror from a distance.

“It’d be of the greatest help if Ghid were here right now to clarify a couple things.” Winger grumbled, standing up and looking towards my wooden form. After a couple seconds of staring he jolted, noticing the color in my eyes. I wearily pushed myself up as he bolted across the room to assist me.

“I suppose you’ve missed me?” I tried to joke. That’s funny, nobody laughed. Perhaps they all lost their senses of humor while I was gone. Winger just hugged me wordlessly, which felt awkward with only one arm. Yes, I’m still guilty about that.

“Racie said she lost you.” He mumbled. “She was torn up so bad. But you’re-”

I was going to make a comment of how you couldn’t get rid of me that easily, but Cordax gave a yelp and backpedaled from the former massive window, interrupting yet another wonderful comedic moment. The metallic figure that had crawled through slowly stood, his blue skin reflecting the sadness in his eyes as he glanced about, taking in all that was there.

“My ship…” He began, but before he could continue he was shoved out of the way by the familiar sight of Jethryn, who was hobbling with a pretty severe limp. “Thanks to this tremendous idiot, we’ve had to wade through a literal dump just to get to the steering wheel of his ship all so he could cry about it.” Jethryn looked about for a moment. “Need a hand?”

Boy-” I began, but Winger held me back and thus saved Jethryn’s nose a nice impromptu amputation. “So where’s ol’ Bossman? I thought he would’ve had quite the time dispatching all these Dreamers running about.”

I tried to shift back over to my Dreamer body, but I couldn’t access it. The answer for why because evident, as the form of Renner blasted in through the ceiling, holding onto Diero and Ghid. Uh, the Dreamer, that is; the glowing green eyes told me Eilrach had moved in during my absence.

“Monopoly made it in.” I commented as soon as he landed. “Also thank you for the skylight.”

“I kno- uh,” Renner glanced at me suspiciously, and then started at the sight of Winger’s arm. “…Right, he uh… He was there. We fought, and I imprisoned him inside. But how did he get there?”

“The mirror.” I pointed at the empty frame. “The more shards that were in it, the more power one would have peering into the other world. But the shards are gone.” I glanced at the frame. “I don’t know what this means.”

“Then we have to destroy it.” Renner growled. “If he got in through there, he could figure out how to get back out. We can’t allow that to occur now, or ever.”

“No!” AI spoke up, his holographic image suddenly reappearing. “That’s the weeping mirror! Right, El Cadáver Tonto?

Gofers, who was still trying to think of something not cringe to say to Racie, looked towards the commotion. “Uh, yeah, what’s- What happened to the weeping mirror?!” He gripped both sides of his stony face and wailed. “Somebody broke it!”

“And somebody’s about to break it more.” Renner growled, snapping his fingers. “Diero, let’s get this over with.”

“No!” Gofers cried, darting in front of the open room. “If you destroy that thing, all of the Tears in the world will break! We have no idea what kind of chaos-”

“I said MOVE IT!” Renner barked. “I’ve been stayed from bringing Monopoly to justice for all this time, and I will not be hindered by some imitation Dreamer idiot just because he wants to fanboy about it!”

Winger moved to intercept the pair, but Renner angrily shoved him aside. Gofers responded by catching his master with one hand and socking Renner on the nose with the other. Diero snarled, half the people in the room jolted, and the tension rose sharply.

“I’m breaking that mirror.” Renner growled.

“You’d better not.” Gofers snapped back. Winger eyed the reflective recluse with a defiant air, clearly showing where he stood on the issue. Cordax tried to backpedal out of existence, impeded yet again by the wall. Jethryn and the Chronicler inched towards Renner.

What will you do?” Eilrach asked me.

Ch 20

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I too like to enjoy regretting everything I’ve ever said and crying compulsively :goo:

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intriguing
so that’s where the tears come from

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RUKAAAAAAAAAH

you never cease to amaze

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I’ll take that as a compliment

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I greatly enjoyed the eldritch meeting beyond scene even though I have no real context for it because I’m two books behind

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Tonight on Top Gear
I embark on a journey through the roof
James briefly gets stuck in the backrooms
And Hammond discusses handy amputation tips

Take me to your xbox to play fortnite today You can take me to moisty mire but not loot lake

No the actual real only thing peaking is… uhhhhhh… it is uhh…
ur dum :dizzy_face:

It was. Listen, I’m not that illiterate. still can’t read and count tho

Imagine writing a book with your eyes closed bruh :rofl: :snake: :ocean: :skull:

:eye: :eye:


Kapitel neunzehn

First let’s address the eldritch entity

According to Newton’s third law of motion, “if it speaks, it is a boards user”, so naturally, the entity is most certainly one. Looking at the list, we only seem to have three options: Traykar, Senit and DuneToa. Which one of them is it!?

Using my impeccable deduction and mad theorising skills, I can with 100% certainty conclude that I have no idea

I actually think it’s Rukah because his pfp is black and blue, but shhhhhh don’t tell anyone

I will be keeping this detail in mind. I don’t know how, but it’ll certainly come up in the future.

I’ve been sitting here fore fifteen minutes trying to come up with a word out of these, but nope, there’s only a whole load of nothing. It’s only natural because you know… I can’t read.

Nah I don’t think so. I think he’s handling the situation quite well

Honestly, with this and the arrival of Jethrun and Cobalt, it’s kinda refreshing to see so many people together at once. I’m sure you won’t have any problems with giving all of them enough attention as we move forward. oh look you already forgot that Wild exists

Well, I guess we know the answer to this question now. I don’t think I could have ever guessed this honestly. You said that you foreshadowed to it somewhere, but I can’t really think of anything. Maybe the functions of the mirror were alluded to in that one chapter about the knight Ghid and Obama Fried Chicken, but idk. it’s almost one AM and I’m too tired to check.


So, I think that overall this chapter is-

Typo. Truly tragic. 0/10

No it’s not you, it’s just Ghid who is behind, just in the wrong direction (what a goofy goober he is)

7 Likes

nah I’m the knife

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good to see he isn’t losing a second facial feature

8 Likes

Ch 19

Chapter 20

I made my choice.

The mirror must be broken. If there was any way Monopoly could escape, I thought, it would have to be prevented. Marching towards Renner, I turned and faced the group which consisted of Winger, Cordax, Racie, AI, and Gofers, who now slowly grouped together at the sight of my decision.

“This doesn’t get you off the hook, Ghid.” Renner glanced down at me, cracking his knuckles. “But I’m glad you have some common sense. Now get the soft ones out of the way so I can take care of the Dreamer.” He signaled to Diero, who shifted into a motionless stance.

Reaching around, Winger hurriedly scribbled something almost purely illegible out on the corner of his jacket and stuffed the end into Gofers’ mouth, who visibly disapproved of the motion. No sooner had his eyes begun to spill flame did he intercept a hail of lightning-fast gunfire from Diero aimed at his glowing sockets, catching every bullet in his knuckles.

“I just… I just- WOW!!” Gofers’ eyes beamed with delight, even as he effortlessly moved to intercept a vicious hook from the cadaverous cowpoke, or perhaps I should say cadaverous slowpoke, as his hesitation to attack again left him wide open for Gofers to grab his collarbones and slide between his legs, flipping him onto his back.

Eventually the rest of Renner’s party realized Diero was going to be preoccupied for a while and moved forward as one unit. Eilrach was clearly the most hesitant of the bunch, and staggered back as AI’s projected hologram shone directly into his eyes. Jethryn swept in, kicking the projector sphere across the room ad into Racie’s face, which was unnecessarily rude.

Down under the floor I heard a gurgling noise. What could that have been?

Taking two steps forward, I found myself faced against the only opponent who I had a chance of physically besting - and, inversely, the one whose best chances were against me. He didn’t really know what he was doing, however, and as he lunged at me I leaned aside and bopped his yellow noggin as he flew past.

Over my head Diero flew, catapulted by an uppercut by Gofers, who was beaming at his every move. So infatuated with his own prowess was he that he didn’t see me trip him as he walked past until he was already on the floor, and by then Diero was back up. Two more bullets were fired off, and Gofers had miraculously moved to intercept them, seemingly wide-eyed at his own capability.

Diero let out a roar, and suddenly rush past me, grabbing my coat as he did so. We went flying across the room, leaving Gofers scrambling to catch up, the mirror in sight. And then Diero got knocked into the ceiling by a large, black object, which suddenly appeared from beneath the floor.

It was a pile of dark liquid with four lights glowing out of its form, in very Ghid fashion, all of which turned suddenly upon me. As I tried to see around it, it suddenly spread itself over the opening of the room, cutting off all visibility.

Even so, I could definitely hear beyond it. The cry of Whirling Iron was given, and before long a blinding blue light broke in, the whirling guns of Diero carving through the black substance, which sizzled and vibrated in pain. Gofers tried once again to intercede, but Jethryn jumped on his back, covering his eyes with his hands. Diero’s bullets, now coated in blue flame, carved through the fingers which attempted to stop them.

Angrily Diero fired off round after round, with every attempt to stop the bullets leading to more and more of Gofers melting away. He seemed utterly terrified, unable to stop himself from trying to intercept each and every shot, as Winger looked on in horror. Eventually a rally of shots severed his head from his neck, and the scared skull of the silly skeleton was littered with holes.

“Ghid!” Renner shouted, Jethryn knocking Winger to his knees and Eilrach moving to ensure Racie didn’t move while Cordax lay huddled on the floor. AI’s projection sphere was not responding. “End this!”

Against the strength of any normal person, the weeping mirror might have stood a fair chance, but I was far below nor- I mean from. Far from normal. You get my point; it stood very little chance against me as I pumped every fragment of my essence into wrenching it apart. When even that seemed shy of shattering the structure, I shoved my head against the frame once, twice, thrice, and-

In a blinding flash I was thrown against the wall, the frame of the weeping mirror contorted into a tangled spiral of metal. All the lights in the room had gone out, with only Renner’s unique armor and the glow of Diero’s and Cordax’s eyes providing any kind of light. And then a peaceful blue glow emerged, basking the room in the light of hope once more.

“Not ‘once more.’” The source of the light spoke, as he floated in midair above the party, his spherical head shimmering brilliantly. “One last time is a bit more accurate.”

I made my choice.

The mirror must be preserved. If there was any way something could go wrong, I thought, it would have to be prevented. Marching towards Winger, I turned and faced the group which consisted of Renner, Diero, Jethryn, the Chronicler, and Eilrach, now possessing my Dreamer body.

“This doesn’t get you off the hook, Ghid.” Winger glanced down at me, his remaining arm fixing his collar. “But thank you for the support. Look, I don’t think destroying the mirror will help keep him contained any more than if it was broken, um… How does that world operate?” He asked Renner, obviously trying to buy time.

Of course, it didn’t work. Renner was already hopping mad about Winger’s resisting his efforts, and signaled Diero to do his dirty work. The calcium cowboy crossed the divide between the two groups, was intercepted almost immediately by Gofers, and subsequently backhanded gofers out of the way. I yanked at Winger’s arm and hissed a whisper at him.

Leaning over, Winger picked me up, and… What do you mean, you want to hear what I said? Look, it’s not that important, let’s just move on with the story. So he leaned over, and as Gofers was getting back up…

…Don’t give me that look. If I was embarrassed about it, I would just omit I had said anything, okay? It’s not that important, so let’s just- you didn’t say anything about me being embarrassed?

Alright, fine. “Fastball special.” I whispered to Winger, prompting him to lean over and pick me up as Gofers distracted Diero for one more moment. Flying through the air, I planted my heel firmly into Diero’s face, staggering him wildly and letting me snatch up his hat. I knew the moment he got his senses back he’d be on a vendetta to reclaim it, so I landed in a roll and made as much distance as I could from the scene.

Suddenly there was a roar behind me, but not the kind I was hoping for. As I looked back I saw Diero throw Gofers into the wall, then turn just as sharply on Cordax and kick him into one of the bookshelves. It seems Renner had a nuclear option in writing, and with Diero focused on the rest of the party the metallic moron was more than happy to handle me.

The wall behind me provided no visible escape route, outside of a vent which was far too small to slip into, even for my diminutive size. The best I could do was hide behind Diero’s stupidly massive hat, which seemed to amuse Renner, as he stood staring at it for a moment.

Oh, did I mention the cold feeling? I was inside a wooden puppet, if you recall, and yet this horribly cold sensation suddenly began to creep up my form. It gave me quite the shock, since I had no nerve endings in that body, or even any electricity to fake it. I found myself getting colder and colder, and as Renner’s fingers crept around the hat my vision suddenly cut off, and so did all other sensation as the world fell away beneath me.

Right as reality itself seemed to give way, four lights shone out of the darkness. I yelled at them to stop copying my shtick, what with the four eyes configuration, but they didn’t respond. They probably couldn’t hear me, as I couldn’t even hear myself. But even with sound removed, one word rang clearer than ever in my mind.

You don’t get to hear the word. Did you really think I’d give you that tidbit so soon?

The world reappearing to me did little to alleviate the feeling of dread I now possessed, even as the dark pile of liquid that had contained me emerged from the floor and set me gently back on my feet on the opposite side of the room. Renner was looking about in shock at my disappearing act, never noticing me and my acquaintance casually watching him.

Of course, the same can’t be said for Jethryn and the Chronicler, who noticed me almost instantly. Jethryn flew at me only to get swallowed up by the strange mass, said action being finally noticed by Renner who flew into an uncontrollable rage. As the goopy Ghid ducked and dove around the resplendent rube’s rage-induced punches, I crept to the cobalt corsair, who stood with sword drawn in horror at my approach.

“Me.” I flatly glared. “You know me, you know who I am. You know that this mirror can’t be destroyed. If you do try to break it, I will break you. Understand?”

Even as I spoke, the air tore violently behind me, the air sweeping snowflakes past my vision. It had happened sooner than I expected; was that one thing the mucilaginous mimic mentioned the only way to stop what was coming? And if so… How would I possibly get it in time?

Ch 21

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Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both.

I'd really love to Chug Jug with you

walterwhitefallingdown.gif

phew

is that-
is that not how it’s done

Technically, you don’t have all those three options.

that’s your theorizing? man idk how you got your title smh :pensive: :dizzy_face:

What a silly goober

image

Forgot what?

This is how I win :dark_sunglasses: :mage: :moneybag:

Armaghiddon is now officially longer than Book of Tears

wack

3 Likes

Very interesting

I wonder what “it” could be or what the “tome” is

1 Like

Ch 20

Chapter 21

Renner’s armor shifted until he disappeared into nothing, his body hidden from view. Diero’s flaming firearms lit up the room as the bullets they expelled traveled the distance from barrel to boring spherical cranium, all of them absorbing into the strange, glowing blue mass which comprised it.

“Isn’t it curious?” Monopoly replied, eyeing the deadsperado with an air of malice. With a gesture, the gunslinger’s head suddenly imploded, crushing inwards like a paper bag. His limbs slightly jerking around in general motion for a moment, Diero dropped like a rock.

“Diero never got to say goodbye.”

The mood in the room had suddenly changed. This bumbling, brawling brute had suddenly achieved a level of power which elevated him from being very dangerous to being potentially unstoppable. I knew Renner’s rage over losing his beloved boney bodyguard was very easily outweighed by his self preservation and the very logical assumption that the sphere-headed simpleton could just as easily wipe out everyone in the room.

He noticed the tar-like troublemaker trying to get away into a crack in the floor, and with a flick of his wrist the fiend suddenly bubbled and boiled, flying across the room directly into Jethryn, whose cries of agony were smothered by the substance. The melted remains of Jethryn soon exposed themselves as the sticky subject evaporated away, leaving the trashbag-clad troublemaker a limbless lump of his former self. The silence from Renner in response was eerily audible, as if the absence of noise itself took on a sound. Eilrach had begun to move before flames suddenly exploded out of every joint and cavity in his Dreamer shell, and with his gaseous form extinguished, the body fell limply to the ground.

“Easy.” He turned to Renner, who still stared wordlessly at the remains of his friend. Before he could notice it happening, the armor on his body began to shift, suddenly straightening his limbs and solidifying itself into a long, rectangular shape, completely covering him. “How long do you think he will last, with his own armor picking him apart cell by cell? A day? A month? It does not matter to me. Whatever conscious part of him remains will observe it happening, whether he feels himself be lost to the machine or not.”

Winger was next, suddenly flying out from the bookshelf he had hidden behind, landing at Monopoly’s feet. “A pity you had to be here to witness all of this. Just think, out of all the times your hosts have died, you still managed to outlive your son.”

Oh, then I understood the silence. Winger’s body turned to mist, instantly vaporizing and slowly drifting from where it had once been, lost in the air of the room. “Well, I think I’ll save the best for last, then. You always were the best, don’t you agree?”

Right as he turned back to face me, the metallic pirate roared, thrusting his sword into the belly of his opponent. “You kill my hero!” He bellowed, slashing outwards and staining is blade with the black blood. “You make yourself a king! You slaughter everyone! Well, friend, enjoy your just reward!!

Lashing out again, the blade disintegrated into dust against the exposed gap on Monopoly. With a slight gesture, his form repaired itself, and the Chronicler exploded backwards into a thousand tiny fragments of blue metal, frozen in the air, completely motionless as Monopoly hovered next to them.

“Death is a business.” He loomed above me, as Cordax suddenly whipped across the room and floated in front of my face, unable to move. “I deal in death the same way as a candyman offers his wares to children. The sight and smell of it entices those willing to buy.” Cordax’s worried, dreary expression grew more and more painful until his eyes crackled into static and liquid seeped out from beneath them.

“Only the dealer finds it sweet.” I retorted, placing my thumb against Cordax’s throat, feeling for the right spot. “You don’t provide a relief, a respite to pain. You entertain yourself.” I sharply drove my knuckle in, caving it inwards and dropping him unconscious. He was flung into the darkest corner as a deep grumble escaped Monopoly’s lungs. “You’re not a merchant, you’re an addict.”

“Fine. But what does that make you?” Monopoly asked, his hand suddenly extending to the side. An earth-shuddering roar followed, and Monopoly held the head of my mechanical form in his grip, detached from its body and seemingly powerless. “You risk the lives of everyone around you preparing for the ultimate goal of dying to everyone you supposedly care about - and now you remain, alone, the last of this miserable bunch. I know there are some others skulking around here; they will be eliminated, in time.”

“Going so soon?” I retorted, trying to maintain my coldness, but instead I saw a flash of scenes played out for me in exquisite detail - the city once helmed by Volume now under Monopoly’s grip, his reshaping not only the whole world but the galaxy in his own design, his wishes and desires leading to a future wholly uncertain in its outcome, but one tainted by the omnipotence of this despicable domehead.

He looked back at me, but I gave him no reply. Even without his glimpse into the possible, I knew I was out of options. No more bodies to throw at the wall, no backup schemes layered on top of each other until the blackest, deepest part of the festering mess was lost in the darkness beneath the unfathomable weight of all the rest. Floating through the hole in the ceiling, he looked across the city wish an air of decision, and was immediately met by a thunderous applause from its denizens, compelled to receive their new authority with joyous admiration.

I, however, collapsed against the wall, the weight of the future bearing into me like a thousand screws. What else had I to hold onto in this world? My last respite of joy and hope was dead. The select few I dedicated any time and energy into were gone. My kingdom and empire was about to crumble. I had no legacy to leave behind, and my memory would be squashed beneath the feet of an unstoppable force beyond the point of reason.

Death, I thought, as I allowed my consciousness to seep from its body and into the great void, the unfortunate absence of being, is a business. It pulls, and it pulls, until there is no one left to buy its coveted wares, and we tiny germs stand before a division not equal, but just. A terrifying divide, as to the left we are swept, unless we can by some miracle find the low place from which we accept to be pulled to the right.

Armaghiddon.

Renner’s armor shifted until he disappeared into nothing, his body hidden from view. The goopy Ghid-like glob has conveniently found another crack in the floor to disappear into. Diero bellowed, rushing the advancing figure, only to be caught in his oversized grip and chucked backwards into the tear he emerged from, which promptly closed the moment after.

“Isn’t it curious?” Monopoly replied, eyeing the deadsperado for the brief moment he remained visible with an air of malice. “Diero never got to say goodb-” His words were interrupted by an invisible arm suddenly clobbering him with a vicious hook.

“Dream: WAAAugHH” Renner screamed, which was a word I immediately realized I hadn’t heard before. Was there a hidden third dream I had never considered before, some secret phrase uttered only when Monopoly is about to squeeze your arm in half? Ah, no, it was an interruption due to Monopoly preparing to squeeze his arm in half.

Daring as this maneuver was, Renner’s armor was more than capable of reversing it. Monopoly grunted as his grip was violently broken, the now-visible armor of Renner suddenly increasing the size of his metal-mechanical sleeve, forcing Monopoly’s fingers to relinquish their pressure. Monopoly responded to this motion by slamming his fist directly through Renner’s chest, leaving a gaping hole in its wake.

“Lest you find a way to undo it, like last time.” He loudly whispered in the metallic moron’s ear, tossing aside his shuddering body like a wet rag. “I realized I could deck Diero and other Dreamers by putting a little bit of metal in the knuckles of my gloves.” He cracked his knuckles, speaking almost directly to the barely aware Cordax nestled in a quite splintered bookshelf. “And with a little tweaking in that cold place…”

Eilrach had the good sense to not attack immediately, his Ghid-like hands flexing impatiently. He seemed to notice what I had: the cavity formerly containing Renner’s heart had quickly filled with the metal from his armor, and was now contracting in rhythmic fashion akin to the organ he had lost. With a glance towards me, the gaseous goober suddenly darted forwards, shoulder checking Monopoly into the opposite wall just faster than the burly boxer’s hands could grasp at him.

Somehow, in his eyes, I could tell Eilrach knew what had to happen. His stance grew very low, his arms and legs far apart, a bit too close to becoming a giant spider for me to be comfortable with. I took the opportunity to bumble over to the plated pinhead on the floor who had the audacity to be in shock just because his heart got knocked from his body.

Of course, that wasn’t about to stop me any time soon. grabbing his limp finger, I traced out letters overtop each other on the carpet beneath him, and with a growl I ripped a chunk of it out. Now it was only a matter of getting to Diero.

Fortunately, the fight going on was entirely with Eilrach, who was suddenly proving himself exceptionally capable. I knew the metallic pirate who stood at the edge of the fight trying desperately to insert a jab or two into the combat wasn’t going to truly inhibit him; the former skeletal warlord was practically running circles around Monopoly, flipping over his punches, his lightning-like limbs landing speedy barrages on the brawler before he had the time to react, then darting out the moment he swung for them. Confident he could detain him for a moment or two, I began to move towards my mirror to enter where Diero had traveled to before my mind finally caught back up with my ego and I remembered it had been broken.

Virtually no way to accomplish my plan was left. Except, of course, for the other Dreamer in the room. Winger had wisely retreated backwards into the mirror room and was hiding behind a bookshelf, and pretty badly, too. I tactically rolled into the room, almost being clobbered by Eilrach backpedaling the Ghid Dreamer to avoid the furious grip of his opponent.

I grabbed my son by the shoulder and hissed some words into his ear. Confused but relenting, he scribbled them down on my coat sleeve, which I then bore towards the opposite wall where the sombrero sap had been rammed into by Diero’s attack. “OH!” He immediately blurted out, completely ignoring my cringing reaction and the suddenly observing blue sphere which rotated to listen. “FINALLY! I can’t see anything at all in here! Well except you. Listen, I don’t think I can move. Can you get me oummf

Ripping my coat sleeve off and stuffing it down into his mouth was not a fun experience, let me tell you. I really liked that coat. But the moment it entered that immobile idiot’s jaw, a tunnel of flame roared out the hole and the wall exploded, leaving a tremendous cloud of dust in his wake. Monopoly started marching towards him, all fury boiling orange into the flaming sphere atop his neck, but the grinning face of the Ghid Dreamer preceded his wiry hands grabbing at the two posts that made up his neck and threatening to bend them apart.

Taking the opportunity, Gofers jumped with such an impossible force that the air shattered, the resulting BANG breaking every glass surface in the room. My first thought was Racie - she had conveniently disappeared. I was very much hoping her eardrums had survived this incident.

Unfortunately, as the metal prongs of Monopoly’s neck were snapped apart by the impressive Dreamer strength, Monopoly caught the flaming ball as it fell and spun around, using it to carve directly through the Ghid visage and sending the hostless body to the ground, its formerly capable green vapors hissing out of its crumpled form. “Another upgrade.” Monopoly placed the ball above where his neck should have been, turning to face me as it floated in place. “Krelikan made it clear I needed some form of security for such an outcome.” He walked towards me, evidently not noticing the black banana-shaped silhouette arcing across the sky.

“Eilrach puppeted your form well. Almost as well as you did yourself.” He continued, almost in a full-blown monologue as he instinctively stepped over the prone form of Renner, swatting the Chronicler away like a kid in front of you at the line for ice cream. What, was that too real of a metaphor? “But it’s a shame it wasn’t enough. Of course, nothing you do ever is.” Stopping, he looked back at the… uh… dec… decorated dolt? Is that too much of a stretch?

Anyway, you get it, it’s the guy with reflective armor lying on the carpet having a breakdown, yadda yadda, let’s move on. He - Monopoly, that is - glanced at his motionless form and suddenly raised his heel, wordlessly bringing it down of the head of this… this… silvery, no wait… silvery… shlemiel?

Nah, this is getting too hard. He’s just Renner. Sorry, I really tried to get some more in there. Well anyway, he stomped on his head, but the armor reacted and built him a nice helmet, and that made him angry again and his head went all orange and flamey once more, I hadn’t sen him do that before but maybe he just wasn’t ever this angry or something.

Despite his efforts, more and more of the armor just relocated to where his head and neck were. I suppose his attacks weren’t nearly as fast as his hand had been before. The exact moment he decided to switch tactics, however, the large banana-shaped object caught his attention, and he barely had time to intercept a large curved piece of metal smashing through what little of the roof remained, which the most dedicated observers may recall to be the trachea car I so dearly loved.

Look, I know you missed him too. Easily the most memorable person I’ve met despite just being Eilrach again.

Oh yeah, it happened to still be Eilrach again, as when the now battered Monopoly heaved the curved car and chucked it out the window, the engine and piping ripped itself out of the remains, hopping over the blustering bruiser with ease, and after landing quickly swiveling in place, the many pipes and tubes reconnecting and reshaping themselves into limbs with curved segments and harsh, sharp joints, with the low, blocky torso being the majority of the engine block.

Vertically the middle of the engine ripped itself from the rest of its frame, the pistons and camshaft repurposed to make an articulated and posable neck, leaving the separated section as a pointed, curved head, with no noticeable features, and a series of slotted vents on either side towards the front. It flattened to a point, kind of like a shoe, and breathed out green smoke from the vents like some kind of smoky grill.

Evidently, you’re not used to using your head.” Ooh, I still with I could’ve thought of that one.

Ch 22

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Tonight on Top Gear
I get cubed by a bald man
James has a bit of a migraine innit
and Hammond goes into creative mode


Tonight on Top Gear
I experience a compelling change of heart
James gets lost in an IKEA after closing hours
and Hammond finally fights a car

https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/935989994735169546/1157399569655668796/That_muffin_is_looking_awfully_like_a_hamster.mp4?ex=651877d8&is=65172658&hm=dac92fef8a846d23ead08dec33add13445e1919c065366c246e20ad887997e49&

@NOTaHFfan get in here and read the last one and the new one and aaaaaaaaaaaaaa

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part 1: Monopoly compensates for the lack of death in previous books

part 2: Eilrach becomes a transformer

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