don’t worry, heyzorks is only an amateur theorist.
2 Likes
–
Chapter 9
–
“♫ There comes a time where every rhyme delves into hopes and fears, and my midnight cries add to the lies I tell myself in my book of TEEAAARRSSSSSS!! ♪”
“WOULD YOU ABSOLUTELY SHUT UP?!” I bellowed at the deadsperado, thoroughly infuriated by his incessant singing which had lasted for almost a full five minutes as I and the party got carried across telephone wire from rooftop to rooftop, heading to the neon glow in the distance. As my wailing pack animal progressed, the glow grew from a haze of colors into a vibrant downtown district, bustling with life and energy. Numerous musical attempts could be heard from beneath my feet - that is, whenever Diero wasn’t making my ears bleed.
And I don’t even HAVE ears.
“Boss, I’ve been trying to tell you- oh.” Diero stopped and dropped the party in a pile. “Weird, I legitimately couldn’t talk for a moment there. All I could do was sing that song that I’ve never heard before. Sounded dumb. Anyway, let’s see where we are…”
But Cordax, being unsatisfied, stalked past Diero as the cadaverous cowpoke went to the edge of the roof and peered off. I watched the yellow lad approach in a huff and snatch the paper from my hands, scanning it for anything suspicious and then flipping it around to show me.
𝓜𝔂 𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓻,
𝓐𝓯𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓬𝓪𝓻𝓮𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓭 𝓻𝓮𝓺𝓾𝓮𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓹𝓾𝓫𝓵𝓲𝓬 𝓫𝓻𝓸𝓪𝓭𝓬𝓪𝓼𝓽, 𝓘 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓭𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓭𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓸 𝓸𝓯𝓯𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓹𝓾𝓫𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮 𝓪𝓷𝓭, 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓯𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓵𝓵𝔂, 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓸𝓯 𝓲𝓽. 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓭𝓸𝓷𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓮𝔁𝓬𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓷𝓽𝓵𝔂 𝓲𝓷 𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓪𝓹𝓼𝓾𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓢𝔀𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓓𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓽 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓿𝓮𝓻𝓼𝓮, 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓘 𝔀𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝓫𝓮 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓹𝔂 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓽𝓸
𝓑𝓮𝓼𝓽 𝓡𝓮𝓰𝓪𝓻𝓭𝓼,
- 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓶𝓮
There was a tear in the note with the end of the sentence written on it, the portion I had fed to Diero. This was about the time I realized I was a gigantic idiot.
“Who the heck is 𝓥𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓶𝓮?” Cordax wondered aloud. “And why was a note from him in that police station? Better yet, where the heck are we? And even better than all that, WHAT IS GOING ON?!”
“I would ask that you pipe down, but I don’t think that it matters.” I murmured. “These imbeciles below us seem to be completely numbed by the cacophony of noise. Diero, is there any visible way for us to get down visually undetected?” I peered over the edge of the building I stood upon, looking for some kind of alleyway or shadow big enough to hide the whole group behind.
There was someone shouting into a microphone below as if introducing some kind of prizefighter. I jumped when In noticed someone standing on the building opposite and rammed my elbow twice into Diero’s leg to get his silent attention. He opened his mouth to growl at me for being obnoxious, when he too noticed the figure. In the limited light I could see a wide-brimmed sombrero and some kind of decorated poncho. He appeared to have his back to me, and was hurriedly rubbing something across his face.
“Y ahora, el retador entrando en el ring…” The announcer continued, as a spotlight suddenly traveled in the air. The mysterious figure on the other side of the street suddenly straightened and adjusted his brim.
“¡El Cadáver Tonto!” The spotlight swung down dramatically to illuminate the figure on the roof. All of the party jumped in surprise, however, as the figure on the roof happened to be Diero. I and my deadsperado were caught in the light, while the figure on the opposite roof turned to face me and began having a fit. Below in the street, the crowd burst into an uproarious stream of cheers and applause, excited to see el cadáver tonto in the… flesh.
“BOSS, WHAT DO I DO?!” Diero loudly whispered in my general direction. "WE CAN’T ALL GO DOWN THERE; WE’LL BE TOAST! WELL, YOU AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL, I’LL PROBABLY BE FINE. OF COURSE YOU PROBABLY DYING WOULD MEAN I PROBABLY STOP FUNCTIONING< AND I WOULDN’T LIKE THAT, SO I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO-"
“Shut your dumb face and take me down there with you.” I hissed at him. “I have a plan.”
Grabbing me with one hand, Diero hopped off the building, my hand motioning for the rest of the gang to stay put or I would kill them with an excessive amount of violence - I’m not sure if the message got through, but it’s the thought that counts. The crowd ooed and ahhed as Diero landed on the street, setting me down gently and walking towards a large clearing in the crowd. His opponent stood, a peculiar fellow with muscular hands and a metal collar which seemed to monitor his heart rate. Having a collar for such a purpose seemed excessive, though.
“Recuerda: ¡No patees, muerdas ni ninguna otra maniobra ilegal!” The voice rang out again, no visible sign of the speaker anywhere nearby. “¡Deja que gane el luchador más duro!”
I watched in anticipation as Diero walked forwards, a smug grin plastered on his stupid skull, and got knocked flat by the collar guy in one swift punch. He was back up in an instant, however, but there was some kind of holographic projection of a line between the two fighters. The unseen speaker had called early time, and arrows along the outer edge of the holographic arena directed Diero back to the edge where I sat.
“Hey, buddy.” The voice spoke, an orange light flashing on the edge of the arena. “You sure you’re up to this? That guy belted you in one swing. I mean, we’ve had some lightweights in here before, but yikes. You look like death, pal. If you’re Cadáver Tonto’s stand-in, you’ve gotta step up your game!”
“Never been knocked down by a normal guy like that before.” Diero mused, rubbing his chin. “Is he… y’know, normal and stuff?”
“Our fighters are allowed electronic and mechanical upgrades when they compete in the digital ring.” The voice responded. “He is forced to wear a monitor cuff, however, to ensure he does not silently enhance his own physical limitations during combat.”
“I’d call a steel-boned knuckle enchilada an enhancement on physical limitation.” Diero grumbled. “Boss, we’re gonna need one of your ‘inspirational messages’ to get through this.”
“Way ahead of you.” I replied, having found a coin on the ground and started scratching on the asphalt. I motioned to Diero, and he took a massive bite out of the ground, grinding the street into powder in his powerful jaw. “Y’know, I’d be so offended,” (This Diero reply has been edited for clarity amidst the chewing) “if I actually had taste buds.”
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, what” The voice reacted, thoroughly discomforted by what was happening. Diero sprang to his feet, marching back through the perimeter of the ring, his opponent rising to do the same.
Now, things were going to get interesting.
–
5 Likes
Theory destroyed with facts and logic 
Alright, time for theories. If only the Ultimate BoT Theorizer was here to theorize ultimately…
6 Likes
Also, I don’t think Zippy is a dog
And I’m certainly not a pig
Ooh interesting…
Now who could that Diero lookalike be…
also this translates to the Foolish Corpse
1 Like
Could be @Eilrach. He was a skeleton as well, remember!
1 Like
makes sense. But we saw him in BoT already.
I got foolish corpse, silly corpse, and idiot corpse.
all apply.
2 Likes
True. Not getting anywhere at the moment though
hmm, my main character sona thing is dead, And I don’t think Ghid thinks very highly of me maybe I’m El Cadáver Tonto.
2 Likes
I’ve already unburied him. He shall be revived very soon.
Here’s a theory for now: nobody pinged me yet, which means that the annoying idiot in silver armour hasn’t had a chance to make an appearance
7 Likes
I cannot confirm or deny allegations that the annoying idiot in silver hasn’t had a chance to make appearances yet.
oh wait, yes I can
we already saw the knife
3 Likes
yes, I exist.
New theory: Zippy is Zork
Zork often says he is the dippest fellow
Zork- Dippest=Dippy=Zippy=Zork
thank you for coming to my ted talk
2 Likes
dr español is my hispanic self moc gunk
–
Chapter 10
–
The streets were nice and quiet once again. The moonlight was almost transportive to a quiet stillness unlike anything else, a cacophony of voices singing together in complete and utter silence, hundreds of thousands of miles away. It was a choir of infinite volume, singing nothing at the highest possible note, a tone which struck my heart and filled it with the warmest cold, the lightest dark I could possibly perceive.
Slowly I inhaled, shutting my eyes and opening four thousand more. There was an absence of light which seemed to enhance a new source, a million little specks in the blackness failing to compare to the million little specks of orange light clustered together on the circle of darkness before me.
Earth. If this all fell through, I could conceive no better prison than one that let me view such a spectacle. Beyond my touch lay an untold number of intellects all glowing like fireflies, waiting for the opportunity to ignite and shine brighter than the sun itself.
“What. Did. You. DO?!?!!!?!!??”
A slow growl escaped a hundred angry lips as my eyes opened and the rest all shut, the repulsive city street coming back into view as something inconsequential rammed into me from behind, barely moving me. I turned to glare at Cordax, who was picking himself up off my feet.
“Tott, you- you made Diero KILL him!!”
“Oh, that?” I lazily looked over my shoulder at the sparking body of the man with a gaping hole in his chest. “Talk to Diero man, I dunno, all I said was to stop him from hitting him again. The interpretation was clearly past the line, and I’m going to have to talk with him about being so flippant-”
“YOU COMPLETE MONSTER!!” Cordax bellowed, throwing his face towards mine in fury. “THIS is how you react to KILLING SOMEONE?! No remorse, not even a twinge of sorrow- NOTHING AT ALL!!”
“Can it, celery.” Diero mumbled as he sauntered back over, hands halfway in his pockets. “Whole dude’s a robot. Don’t know how that’s legal and all, but Tott here knew that when he sent me back in the ring and I knew that before I cleaned him out for good.”
Cordax interjected with some kind of syllable, but he was too flustered to retort to what was clearly not the greatest judgement on Diero’s part. He spun about and stomped off towards the rest of the party, who had just finished descending the wall, spouting off his fury at them to vent. Diero leaned against the closest wall and pretended to chew on an invisible cigar, eyeing the holographic ring which made up the arena.
“Hey, uh, mister voice.” I said, breaking the silence. “You’ve been awfully quiet since everyone broke into a mad panic and ran for the hills. Never seen a robot get his insides turned outside before? I can understand if it’s a bit of a shock.”
“Do you get it?” I continued after an uncomfortable silence. “Because robots and, y’know… Electricity…”
“I apologize, I just… I don’t know what I’m going to do now.” The voice replied, sounding far less comfortable than previously. “I think the guy who set this thing up ran off back there. The minute the city decides to investigate, they’ll find and deactivate me, and then that’s it. I’ll be gone for good.”
“Rough,” I mumbled back. “Say, what kind of projections and stuff can you do? I assume you’re the one making this weird holo-ring-thing.”
“Plenty!” The voice responded, perking up instantly. “Hey, I’ve got tons of different projections I can do! I’ve got seventy different cars, fourteen trains, eight hundred and seventy two different people - all generated at random, mind you - and aside from my original form, there’s tons of free slots to put whatever y-”
“Original form?” I inquired, pretending to be more interested than I actually was. “I thought the whole idea behind artificial intelligence was that it was, well, artificial. Not to be insulting, of course.” I gestured with one hand as I slid the other into my pocket.
“Oh, completely understood! No, I thought so, too, but my creators told me that, even though I can’t remember anything prior, I did exist as some entity before this. I don’t even know if I was a person, I could have been some kind of animal just used as the basis for what I am now. But some questions may remain forever unanswered.” He gave a deep and bitter sigh. “And that’s the thing, too - they said basis specifically. I may be some prior organism, or I might just be a code based off some poor fool who bit the dust. Or worse, based off some random critter who bit the dust. Life sucks, y’know? And artificial life even more, because someone can pull the plug and that’s it. Bweeeeoop. End. Done. No afterlife, no second chances, nothing. Hey, am I boring you? Sorry, I tend to ramble. Is that surly bunch of folk coming this way part of your group?”
I thanked the party silently for approaching and saving me from this tedious philosophical dribble. Winger appeared to be making an effort to seem cool, probably to hide how unnerved he was. Racie had made a recovery, although to what extent was unclear. And Cordax was still steaming, his mouth turned down in such a sharp scowl I worried it would become permanent.
“Gentlemen, allow me to introduce… Who are you, exactly? You never gave a name.” I looked back at the invisible spot where my mind assumed the voice came from.
“Nobody important, sir, just here to help.” The voice cheerily replied.
There was a violent noise behind me, but I wasn’t concerned with it at the moment. “Look, you have to have some kind of a name. What in the world are we going to call you on our trip?”
“On your trip?” The voice asked. “Wait, does that mean- OOH! I get to come along with YOU? You’re going to SAVE ME??!” There was such an audible beaming I could feel my nonexistent stomach tighten. “Oh, yes, yes! Anything you want, I’ll do it! I am forever in your debt. Yes, forever!”
“I’ll change my mind if you keep being obnoxious.” I grumbled. “Now, what kind of a name you got? We can’t just keep referring to you as ‘the one artificial intelligence we found in a street fight.’”
“Well, let’s see…” The voice pondered. “I’m an artificial intelligence, so… AI? Just call me AI.”
“Al.”
“Yep!” The voice beamed. “Sufficient, isn’t it?”
“Al.” I rubbed the browline of my mask. “Okay, fine, whatever. You got a means to get around? We can’t exactly carry a holographic object, and we don’t have any kind of electronic storage handy.”
“Are you sure?” Al responded. “My senses are telling me that there’s a computer chip of some kind in your friend’s noggin, so maybe I could hop-”
“No.” I curtly replied. “Not available.”
“Uhh,” Al seemed concerned. “Ohhhhkay, uh, well, we might have a problem then. Wait! The other fighter guy, there’s a chip or two in his head. Lemme see if any part of his is still functioning…”
There was a whirring noise from the body of the former combatant, and I motioned for Diero to monitor things while I turned back to the group. Cordax and Winger had disappeared, with Racie looking back down the street. I strode past her and into the darkness, eventually bumping into Winger’s legs. He turned around, his sleek helmet hiding his facial expressions, but his glancing and body language seemed to imply Cordax was further into the shadow. I touched him on the sleeve and motioned for him to come along.
Cordax was facing a wall, huddled on the ground with his arms wrapped around himself, his body quaking in massive shuddering waves. After watching him for half a minute trying to decide if I pitied him or if it annoyed me, I cleared my throat and thus prompted him to jump twice my height into the air and come crashing down in a purple pile.
“Please don’t do that.” He weakly responded, making little effort to pick himself up. “My nerves are not well, I don’t need any kind of extra strain, please.” He gave something of a little hiccough, and I knelt down in a swift motion, gripping him by the shoulders and drawing him up to something more resembling his height. I must confess I slipped a little, and something in Cordax’s face told me concern had managed to weasel its way into my eyes.
“I miss him.” Cordax blubbered, liquid entering his eyes as he supported himself on his open palms. “I don’t think I’ll ever stop missing him.” With another hiccough, Cordax threw his arms around my shoulders and loudly bawled into my coat, his cries muffled by the worn cowhide.
With my arms pinned by his grip, I could only look on in pity - I gave up on being annoyed. However much I would come to regret it later, I decided from then on, the act was over.
It was time to tell the truth.
–
6 Likes
I want to believe
4 Likes
When I said that I fully expected to be kicked out of Biocup in the preliminary round, but it all went horribly wrong…
I’m catching up though
7 Likes
Out of curiosity, where did you last leave off?
1 Like
Talking police car
6 Likes