The cloaked stranger

So, I was looking at a MOC I made. And a thought came to me. And I began working on this story. So I decided to write it down. If people enjoy it, I'll maybe continue it.

feat: @Nyran, @Vuhii, and an indirect reference to @Greencapps.

Vuhii crept among the ruins, as silently as possible, glancing around. His eyes darted around, on the alert for danger. He scanned the rubble, looking for anything of worth.
Vuhii heard a slight whistle behind him. He whirled, firing his blaster. The blast ricocheted off a rock, doing no harm.
Just the wind, Vuhii thought. Still, his nerves were on edge, though he wasn't sure why.
Vuhii continued walking. A small stone on the ground caught his eye, and he picked it up. It appeared to be egg-shaped, a light blue-ish color, with a symbol on it in white, the likes of which Vuhii recognized but couldn't quite place in his memory.
A twig snapped on the ground behind Vuhii. Dropping the stone, Vuhii whirled, his hand on the trigger, but nothing was there.
Vuhii turned around and was about to pick up the blue rock when the wind blew. In front of him, the air shimmered, as if it was an image on cloth caught in the breeze. Vuhii fired at the spot, over and over again, until his weapon was empty.
He shook his head, inwardly berating himself for emptying his weapon at a trick of the light. He was considering looking for the rock again when he saw the air shimmer again. Only this time, more happened.
A line appeared in the air, growing in size. Then it grew in width, a dark, purple-ish hue. Vuhii took a step backward as the purple cloth seemed to unfold the very reality around it. Then the purple cloth itself turned aside, and Vuhii could see it was a cloak. Wearing it was a simple being, seeming normal except for one aspect: his face was white, devoid of any features.
The being's cloak billowed slowly behind him in the wind. Vuhii was unsure whether he should stay or run away as fast as possible. Then the being spoke, his voice surprisingly normal.
"Hi, Vuhii," he said. "What brings you here?"
"Who are you?" Vuhii said, raising his arm, preparing to use the knive on it for defense, if need be. "How do you know my name?"
"My name's Nyran," the being said. "And of course I know your name. Why wouldn't I?"
Suddenly, Vuhii sprang forward, swinging his knives. To his suprise, Nyran's cloak folded around him, and then space folded around the cloak, and Nyran vanished. Vuhii's knives cut through nothing.
"I hate it when people do that."
Vuhii whirled around. Nyran was now behind him, his featureless face setting Vuhii's nerve's on edge.
"Vuhii, I'd much appreciate it if you didn't try to kill me," Nyran said. "I have something to show you, something I'm sure you will find interesting."
Without waiting for a response from Vuhii, Nyran turned and began to walk away. Hesitating fo a long moment, Vuhii began to follow, more out of curiosity than anything else. Then a flash of blue on the ground caught his eye.
It was that mysterious blue egg.
Vuhii picked it up. He had no idea what that symbol meant, but he knew he'd seen it before. Perhaps it had something to do with his past. Slipping the rock into his bag to study later, he hurried to catch up with Nyran, eager to see what the mysterious starnger had to show him.

to be continued.


Very nice. I would love to see this continue.


Man, I didn't fully realize just how scary a faceless, purple-robed robot could be until now.


*Ricocheted. The pronunciation just discombobulated you.

How about an egg with a Mata head on it?
Also, @Vuhii mentioned that he regained interest in Bionicle via Suburgatory, with the one episode about Takanuva. How about incorporating that?

Noted and fixed, thanks.

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Happy to be of service.

so i read this story twice and the best i got is the wind cause im WW link or this:

wait i found it!


you sneaky little...


You are correct. That is indeed what that is meant to be.
Anyway, chapter 1, featuring @Nyran and @Vuhii.

Chapter 1: hunters

As Vuhii followed the mysterious being, he made several attempts at conversation, ranging from asking where Nyran was leading him and what he wanted to show Vuhii to Nyran's opinion on the weather. Nyran had refused to say a word, aside from informing that Vuhii "Would want to see what Nyran had to show him." Eventually, Vuhii gave up, and decided to study the mysterious egg. He knew he'd seen that symbol somewhere. Briefly, he wondered if it had been before or after his arrival at Okonoro. If it had been before, that posed some interesting possibilities. If he'd seen the symbol afterward, it likely meant nothing.

Suddenly, Nyran came to a halt. Vuhii, lost in thought, almost ran into him. "Are we there?" Vuhii said. He looked around to see if whatever Nyran wanted to show him was nearby.

"Quiet," Nyran said. He was silent for a moment, and then he added, "Someone's coming. Hide."

Easy for him to say. He could just disappear into the air. Vuhii possessed no such abilities. He glanced around. He was in a hilly prairie, with nothing obvious to use as a hiding place. But Vuhii's life had made him an expert at hiding, and he quickly took shelter behind a small pile of rocks.

Having secured hiding, he looked to see who was coming. For a long time, no one showed up, and Vuhii wondered if the stranger had been mistaken, or perhaps had lied in order to see where Vuhii hid.

Just as Vuhii decided to come out of hiding, he saw them, coming over a hill in the distance.


Vuhii had run into these people a few times. They hunted almost any living thing, up to and including sapient beings. Vuhii had once killed one of them and posed as a hunter for a time. Based on their conversations, Vuhii had determined that they hunted not for sport or their own nourishment, but to feed some great creature. Unfortunately, Vuhii had been discovered before finding the hunters' base, and as far as Vuhii knew, no one had ever found the hunters' base.

Still, during his time with the hunters, Vuhii had learned a few things. Unafraid (well, maybe a little afraid), Vuhii emerged from hiding, holding his hands up in a traditional hunter greeting.

"Hail, fellow hunters," Vuhii said. "I am glad to see you. I'm a little lost, you see."

"State your name," the lead hunter said.

"Name's Vastor," Vuhii lied. "Part of hunting pack Werewolf. Could you perhaps tell me where they are?"

One of the hunters laughed. "Man, you are lost," he said.

"The Werewolves are supposed to be all the way at the mountains of Grond," the leader said. "How'd you wind up so far from them?"

"It's--" Vuhii started to say, catching himself just in time. Hunters never said the phrase 'it's a long story'. "--supposed to be a secret," Vuhii said, not missing a beat. "I was on a solo mission, but I got... off-track, so to speak."

The leader nodded. "State your pass code," he said.

Vuhii glanced around, pretending to see if anyone was watching. So caught up was he in his acting that he'd completely forgotten about Nyran. Finally, he said "There is no password, you idiot."

The leader nodded, smiling. "Well, last I heard, the Werewolves are plotting a raid on the town of Valinor. It's about 8 miles to the north. We can ride with you if you like."

"No thanks," Vuhii said, almost too quickly. "I can handle myself. Plus, one is stealthier." The last part was a common hunter saying.

The hunters nodded, and they spurred their mounts on down the trail. Vuhii let out a sight of relief.

That was when he felt a sharp object on his neck.

"How did you do that?" Nyran's voice demanded from behind Vuhii.

"Hey, relax, dude, I once posed as one of those guys for a while. Learned a few tricks. Can you please move your knife somewhere other that my neck?"

"First off, never, ever call me dude," Nyran said. "Secondly, sorry about this."

Something hit the back of Vuhii's head hard, and he blacked out.

to be continued.


This is really cool so far. I like.


i second this notion


Chapter 2, feat @Vuhii, @Nyran, and @Political_Slime.

"Vuhii... Vuhii..."

Vuhii was running out of places to run. He couldn't see anything in the dark caves, having lost his light pack a while ago, and he kept running into walls. Every time he thought he'd hit a dead end, though, he found another turn, another tunnel, and kept going, but soon, Vuhii needed to find a way out of the tunnels, and soon.

"Vuhii, where are you hiding?"

The voice was calm and friendly, no sign of malicious intent, but the speaker would kill Vuhii if he found him.

"Vuhii, come here, now."

Even still, there was no sign of evil in the voice, yet Vuhii continued running. He ran too fast, panicked, and smacked into the tunnel wall hard. He heard a crack, possibly his mask, and he fell backward.

"There you are, Vuh," the voice said.

Vuhii hated that nickname, but that wasn't on the top of his list of concerns right now. He got to his feet, looking for a way out, but his hands, groping in the dark, found nothing. And soon, he could hear the speaker’s footsteps...

Vuhii opened his eyes.

He wasn't in a cave, running from an unknown speaker. He was in some kind of tent, dreaming. Except that now he was awake.

Dreams had always bugged Vuhii. Sometimes, they were obviously just the random musings of his subconscious. Other times, though, they were so vivid that he had to wonder if they were things he had forgotten but his subconscious had not.

"Well, you're awake."

Vuhii sat up, glancing around for any threat or a weapon. His weapons were gone, and he was alone in the tent save for another being, one completely covered in armor and a white mask.

"Sorry, had to confiscate your weapons," the being said. "Didn't want you killing me as soon as you woke up."

"Who are you?" Vuhii said. "And what makes you think I need weapons to kill you?"

"Now now, don't be like that," the being said. "Nyran wanted me to keep you tied up until we ascertained you weren't a threat. I convinced him we didn't need to go that far. And you can call me Sly."

"What do you want with me?" Vuhii said.

"Well, first, I want to know if you're a threat," Sly said. "My sources assured me you weren't. Then Nyran shows up carrying you, telling me about how you were talking casually with a group of Hunters."

"It's like I told that guy, I posed as one of them for a while," Vuhii said. "Learned a few tricks, then they found me out."

"It's a long story, eh?" Sly said.

"Exactly," Vuhii said, not missing a beat.

"Well, you're either no hunter or a good actor," Sly said. "Every Hunter I know flinches at that phrase."

"Okay, can I have my weapons back now?"

"They're right outside in a box," Sly said.

"Good." Vuhii got up and left the tent. Nyran was standing outside, watching for threats. As Sly had said, Vuhii's weapons were in a box. Vuhii collected them all, checking the blaster. It was still empty. He needed ammo for that thing soon.

"All right," Vuhii said. "As interesting as this meeting has been, I'm afraid I have to go."

"Wait!" Sly said. "At least listen to what I have to say."

"I don't have time," Vuhii said. "The Hunters are planning a raid on the city. I have to warn them."

"Since when do you care about other people besides yourself?" Nyran said.

"Yeesh, guy doesn't sugarcoat things, does he?" Vuhii said. "I do have a heart, you know."

"Vuhii, the people of Valinor can handle themselves," Sly said. "I need you to listen--"

"I'll listen later," Vuhii said. "They can handle the Hunters better if they know they're coming."


"I'll go with him," Nyran said.

"Ooooh, no you won't," Vuhii said. "I'm more of a 'lone wolf' type."

"Someone has to keep you out of trouble," Nyran said. "We still need you, and I can't have you dying first."

"I can keep out of trouble myself," Vuhii said. "I've done it for years."

"Try and stop me," Nyran said. Then he stepped into a fold of space and disappeared.

"I hate it when he does that," Vuhii said. "Whatever. Just stay out of my way."

"Before you go," Sly said, "You may want this." From his pocket, Sly produced a small blue object and tossed it to Vuhii. Vuhii caught it in midair. It was the mysterious blue egg.

"I can tell you about your past," Sly said. "But only if you come back."

Vuhii paused for just a moment. Then he turned and walked away. He had things to do. But Sly's words rang in his head, bothering him as he walked.


I have a question

It's clear that Nyran is supposed to be his usual persona in this, but what am I? Am I my self-MOC, or some other thing?

I'm not mad or anything, just curious

You're... indirectly based on your self-MOC. As for your character, well, I based it on the scene from the prologue and my view of your persona, and just kinda ran with that.

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Double posts are allowed in creative content.

Chapter 3, featuring @Vuhii, @Nyran, @Rockho, @noob1234, and @Scarilian.

Chapter 3: Attack

It had been six years since Vuhii had shown up in Okonoro. He had no memories of his life before then. No one seemed to know who he was, or where he was from.

Vuhii had spent the first year looking for answers. When his search proved fruitless, he had given up. Soon, he had given up even caring about his past.

Or so he'd said. But deep down, he'd always wanted to know.

But that didn't matter at the moment. He had people to help. He could talk to Sly later. Besides, Sly was most likely lying. Many had claimed to know about Vuhii's past to get something from Vuhii.

Besides, who'd trust someone called Sly?

Vuhii approached the city of Valinor. He'd been there a few times, though he'd never stayed there too long. He'd never stayed anywhere too long.

Vuhii walked down the dirt street. No one waved. No one said hi. Vuhii didn't mind. He had a job to do. As soon as it was done, he was leaving. He'd go see what Sly had to say, and then he'd get on with his life.

Vuhii didn't waste time knocking. He strolled into the Turaga's chamber, expecting to see the Turaga of Valinor.

He did. The Turaga was lying on the floor. A cloaked figure was standing in the room, a blaster in his hand and a sword in the other hand.

As soon as Vuhii opened the door, the Hunter turned and fired at Vuhii, too fast for Vuhii to react. In midair, the bullet suddenly disappeared. Before the startled Hunter could react, Vuhii was on him, his swords clashing with the Hunter's. The Hunter's knee came up, narrowly missing Vuhii's chin. Vuhii tried to fire his blaster, remembering too late it was empty, and the Hunter took his opportunity to leap out the window.

Vuhii didn't bother pursuing. He didn't bother checking the Turaga either. Vuhii knew that the Turaga was already dead.

Nyran materialized near the door. "I do believe I just saved your life," he said.

"What do you want, a thank you?" Vuhii said. "If they sent in an advance to kill the Turaga, they're going to attack soon. We need to warn everyone, now."

Vuhii started to leave, and smacked into someone almost twice his size entering the office. The large being looked down at Vuhii, then up at the Turaga's body. Then he looked back down at Vuhii, raising his fist.

"Hunters," Vuhii said.

The giant stopped just before hitting Vuhii. Vuhii took the opportunity to slip past him, running back outside.

At least, he tried to run back outside. A hand on his shoulder stopped him, holding him in place.

"You're that guy who likes to break into places, aren't you?" the giant said.

"That's none of your business," Vuhii said. And it's not important when Hunters are planning to attack this city."

"Are they?" the stranger said. "Or is that just your alibi?"

"I can attest to his story, Rockho."

The giant nearly jumped at the sound of Nyran's voice. Vuhii was sure that if he had, he would've hit his head on the ceiling. "Who are you?" Rockho said.

"I just saw a Hunter standing over the Turaga's body," Nyran said. "Now unless you want to see everyone here killed by a Hunter invasion, I'd suggest you go warn the people now."

"Fine," Rockho said. He began walking out the door, still holding onto Vuhii's arm. He walked outside, signaling a messenger who was running by. "Noob, sound the alarm. Alert everyone that Hunters may be planning a raid."

"A little late, Rockho," Noob said. "They're already at the gates. I'm on my way to warn the Turaga."

"The Turaga's dead," Rockho said.

"Yes, as you can see, the Hunters killed him in preparation for their attack," Vuhii said. Now would you please let go of me?"

"How do I know you're not the Hunter who killed Scar yourself?" Rockho said.

"Because I'm wielding a sword and a blaster, and if I was a Hunter, I would've killed you by now," Vuhii said.

"Your blaster's still empty."

"Nyran, you're not helping," Vuhii grumbled.

"Fine," Rockho said, letting Vuhii go. "Either help or stay out of the way."

Rockho headed off to the village gates. Vuhii started to follow. “Where are you going?” Nyran said.

“I can’t exactly leave the village if there are Hunters outside, now can I?” Vuhii said. “Besides, I’m in the mood for a good fight. But first—“ Vuhii turned to the messenger, Noob, “do you know where I can find some ammo?”

*the Turaga is this world's term for a Mayor or whatnot.

**I had Scar be the killed Turaga as a reference to Scar resigning as admin. Nothing against Scar. Hope there's nothing wrong with that.


okay so

1): this story is amazing

2): this story is amazing

3): i am sly cooper

i wait with baited breath for the next chapter


You'll have to wait a while. I have a few MOCs to make.

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I wanted to MOC today, but today wound up being movie day. So while I watched movie, I wrote story.

Feat @Vuhii, @noob1234, @Nyran, and @Rockho.

Chapter 4: Taken alive

Hunters preferred to take their prey alive.

Theories flew as to why they did this. Some people thought they were cruel. Others thought they used their captives in some kind of ritual sacrifice. A few suspected that captives became Hunters through some kind of brainwashing.

Vuhii knew the truth. During his time posing as a Hunter, he had listened to their discussion. One of the Hunters had said, "You know it prefers live food."

Vuhii wasn't quite sure what 'it' was, nor did he ever want to find out. If that meant fighting to his last breath against the Hunters, than so be it.

Luckily, Vuhii was a good fighter when he needed to be. He had two goals: to stay alive, and, if possible, to get away from Valinor. Let others protect the city; this wasn't his fight.

Unfortunately, the Hunters had surrounded the city, preventing any escape and grabbing anyone who attempted to leave. It looked as if Valinor was doomed.

But the Hunters hadn't planned on Nyran.

Nyran appeared in the middle of their ranks, killing many of them before disappearing again. He was unpredictable and seemingly unstoppable.

Vuhii was no pushover either. His blaster, now fully loaded, never missed, sometimes taking down multiple Hunters at once. Whenever they got too close, they were dispatched by Vuhii's blades.

But even Vuhii wasn't invulnerable. Nyran was on the other side of the village, Vuhii had gotten distracted, and a Hunter got behind him. An impact blaster knocked him off his feet, knocking the wind out of him. He managed to roll onto his back, but that was all he managed. The Hunter was already shooting a net at Vuhii.

A yellow blur came out of nowhere, intercepting the net. The being rolled aside, caught in the net. Three Hunters approached to take the capture, only to be surprised when knives sprung out of the yellow being, cutting the net to pieces. The being sprung up, spinning around in a blur until it reached Vuhii. Finally, it came to a stop long enough to help Vuhii to his feet, and Vuhii realized it was Noob.

"Are you all right?" Noob said.

"I've been better," Vuhii said. "Where'd you get armor like that?"

"Rockho made it," Noob said. "That guy can design--look out!"

Noob pushed Vuhii hard from behind. Vuhii stumbled, falling face-forward. This time, he was ready, regaining his balance and turning in time to see another net coming toward Noob, this one thicker. Noob spun, attempting to cut through the net, but it was too thick, and Noob only got himself more entangled. Then Vuhii lost sight of him amidst the Hunters.

But he wasn't giving up. Recklessly, he charged forward, catching the Hunters off guard, charging through them. He didn't stop until he caught a glimpse of yellow armor.

Then a hand grabbed his arm, pulling him away from the Hunters. Vuhii resisted, but the hand pulled him down. Turning, he saw he'd been grabbed by Nyran.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" Nyran said.

"They took the messenger!" Vuhii said. "I've got to save him!"

"You're only going to get yourself killed, or worse, taken as well," Nyran said. "C'mon, I formed a gap in the Hunter's ranks. We can leave this place."

Vuhii remembered Nyran's ability to teleport. "You can save him! They took him that way!"

"No. Way." Nyran said. "You might have a death wish, but I--"

"Do it and I'll listen to whatever it is you want me for," Vuhii said. "Don't and I won't."

Nyran muttered something Vuhii couldn't hear. "Fine." Then Nyran vanished.

Nyran never formed strong opinions about people. But at the moment, he really disliked Vuhii.

And he was confused. Vuhii was never so altruistic. That guy had seen numerous people taken by the Hunters. Why all this concern over some messenger?

But Nyran would still try. If it meant he could get Vuhii's help, he would at least try.

Nyran walked through the fold in space, hidden from all, in the direction Vuhii had indicated. Finally, he saw the messenger. The yellow-armored being was struggling, caught in a net. Nyran shook his head. In his opinion, anyone who wore bright yellow armor deserved to get caught.

Nyran stepped out of the fold, catching the Hunters by surprise. His knives took down a few Hunters, but they regained their bearings faster than anticipated, forcing Nyran to go back into the fold. As he went to the other side of the group of Hunters, he passed 'through' Noob, and he sensed that the messenger was still alive.

Nyran stepped out of the fold, but this time, the Hunters were expecting him. One of them managed to hit Nyran with an impact blaster, knocking him off his feet. Another shot came at him. Nyran could feel the folds of space coming around him as the impact beam approached...

The battle was a loss.

The Hunters had taken many people from the village before leaving. Finally, they had seemed content with those they had captured, leaving the village of Valinor of their own volition. Thos who tried to follow them were shot down.

Vuhii was wounded but alive. He was also worried. He had not seen Nyran since the faceless stranger had gone to rescue Noob. As he wandered through the village, he hoped Nyran had saved Noob and was tending to the messenger's injuries or something.

"Nyran, where are you?" Vuhii said.

Suddenly, a fold in space opened in front of Vuhii. Nyran stumbled out of it, falling to his knees. Then he stood up.

"Whoa, what happened?" Vuhii said.

"One of them hit me as I was vanishing," Nyran said. "Managed to weaken me. It took a while before I was able to come back out."

Then Nyran straightened, all sign of weakness gone. "The messenger is still alive, but they took him," Nyran said.

"What?!" Vuhii said. "I've got to after them!"

"I knew you'd say that," Nyran said. "I also know that even if you manage to find the Hunters that have Noob, they'll kill you."

"Yeah, well, you got a better idea," Vuhii said. "Noob's a friend of mine, and I'm not just going to let him be fed to... whatever it is."

"Actually, I do have a better plan," Nyran said. "I have friends of my own. You agree to help us, we'll help you save your friend."

"I'm coming too," another voice said. Vuhii turned to see Rockho approaching.

"Oh, no you're not," Nyran said. "We want Vuhii. No one else."

"You want to try to stop me, you little teleporter?" Rockho said. "Noob's my pal too, and if there's going to be some mission to save him, there's not a snowball's chance in Karzahni I won't be a part of it."

"Let him come," Vuhii said. "He can help. Either he comes, or I don't."

Nyran shook his head. "Fine. But don't blame me if Sly refuses to take him."

"I'd like to see this Sly guy try to stop me," Rockho said.


Yee. Coincidentally my self-Moc is a skilled blacksmith. :stuck_out_tongue:


Coincidentally? Where do you think I got the idea from?


So is this still a thing?

Why yes, it is. I just don't have time to work on it at the moment, but I'll be able to after the 20th.

I have part of the next chapter already, too.

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