The Dark Master

This post might have a little more story than the other villains because he is the main antagonist for this part of my saga. Anyways here is The Dark Master, whose name shall be revealed…


not here, sorry but you’ll have to wait for a little bit longer for that answer to that great Mystery. He once lived in an orphanage for children whose parent’s had forgotten them. However unlike the other children he new his story well and it filled him with anger and the desire for revenge on the Toa.
The Mask brothers were the same race as the villagers of Okoto so they could marry them and produce children. However, they made a deal to never do such a thing in fear of upsetting the balance. Ekimu kept this promise to a tea, but Makuta well let’s just say it was a different story.
As we all know Makuta was not as loved by the citizens of the city. However their was one notable exception. Her name was Rahkia and she was an earth villager. She was the only one who really appreciated Makuta’s work. At first it was just innocent charming, yet in the end they were caught by Ekimu. He scolded Makuta for threatening the balance. just for love.
Rahkia expected her love to help stand up to him, but because his hands were tied. He abandoned her outside the city. He thought it was over for him and her. Yet she had given him a legacy. Walking for miles without food, water, or sleep to the next village. She got to an orphanage. The child that she loved to literal death was asleep and so didn’t see her passing. was left in a basket with a name tag on the handle and a locked journal.
After his sixteenth birthday he finally opened this journal and learned his past just as you read it. Having learn of his heritage and hearing rumors of the return of his father in the dark mountain he raced to it. Sadly all he saw was the Toa banishing his father back to the Shadow Realm. The resulting explosion knocked him down the mountain and maimed and mutated his body. His earth mask shattered, he replaced it with the discarded mask of Umarak. And so The Dark Master was born.

He is a very patient planner, and has great prowess with the dark magic. However, due to his injured and lanky body is not meant for a lot of fighting and prefers to make deals and uses others to attack his enemies. though he has a short sword for close quarters combat.

He is much more intimidating in the cover of darkness and fog, but even without it he is pretty intimidating. For clarity here is a size comparison between him and the average-sized Varr.

As a bonus here is a villains line up.

The Dark Master has lost everything his father, his mother, his mask, his old body, and even a good childhood (he was bullied at the orphanage). He now wants to make all in Okoto feel his pain. He plans to free his father using the life-force of the island. However when Darkness is at it’s darkest the Light is at it’s strongest. Next time we shall see the origins of these five new heroes and an older mentor.

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0/100, because he didn’t have puppets, or look like a skull. /s

Nice Job, on him look kind of cool in some parts.

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The shoulder joints are really low, and the custom limbs are really bulky when conpared to the rest of him. Also, seems sorta bland without any accent colors.

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The exclusive inclusion of orange on the head and lack of any gunmetal on the limbs seems really off to me.

this might be the most impressively stereotypically edgy backstory I’ve ever seen on here, which is an accomplishment in my view

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well, this is something. might as well go over it.

The Legs

the legs appear to be beyond basic CCBS parts, with the thighs being way too large for the shins. typically, the thighs will be the same length, if not shorter than the shins. the way they are posed in the 1st image makes it look as if someone broke his knees by turning them 90 degrees.

I’d say get a shorter thigh piece, and turn the shin guards to where they’re facing the front.

The Arms

more of the same, with basic CCBS in the upper arm, and K-2SO’s leg in the lower arm. the lower arm also seems to be oriented in such a way that limits elbow movement aside from 45 degrees forward and back. also, the differences in length cause a sort of “gorilla arms” look for the MOC.

try and shorten the forearm at the very least.

The Torso

hoooooo boy.

the shoulder connection is extremely far away from the body, adding on to the disproportionate look of this… thing. the shoulder armor is mounted awkwardly, to where they don’t actually cover the shoulders, instead opting to hide their mounting point and providing nothing looks.

the entire torso looks hollow and incomplete. i know you’re going for the “undead” look, but there’s a difference between pulling off a successful skeleton MOC and just having gaping holes that end up making the MOC look unfinished.

on top of this, the shoulder mounting point is set too low, and the waist is set too high up, making it look as if the moc is a midget with limb extensions. either that, or his pants are riding up his entire body like nobody’s buisness.

I’d suggest revamping the torso altogether, this time trying to mimick an actual human skeleton, with the open chest cavity, and moving the shoulderpads to where the cover the tops of the shoulders.

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perhaps one of the best mocs i have seen in recent times. the way the flow and build elegantly moves is very pleasing to my retinas

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Is this cause I called you out on your garbage response to that guy on The xenomorph M.O.C. cause that would be very petty.

Or you were too lazy(joking) In all seriousness This took me an hour to post this Topic and that’s not including the pictures.
I just want to make this clear I appreciate all the criticisms. but I do have a bone to pick with one thing you said:

But it’s more than just being undead, He also was thrown off the dark mountain ,which I assume was over than 100 ft tall, his surviving body was then twisted by the dark powers of Umarak. So imagine being undead, then thrown off a cliff, and being reassembled by a mad god.
Also in response to Shlomo_Rosenberg are you so unoriginal that edgy is all you can say? because I’m sick of it.

This is an incredibly inappropriate way to start a critique. I hope you didn’t forget my prior warning, and that being said, I advise you think about rewording.

And this isn’t a good way to respond.

You’re both being monitored. This is your first and last warning for this discussion. If it escalates beyond this point, you will both be suspended for a month, if not longer.

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There’s probably a better way to convey that. Maybe make the rib cage, but leave out some ribs, make the shoulders flow a bit more with the neck, have some asymmetrical additions.

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I read ya loud 'n clear. beginning of the post has been edited.

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Alright to be quite honest, this looks little more than K2S-O’s limbs arm-to-leg reversed on top of Umarak the Hunter’s body. It looks awkward. I understand that’s sorta his thing, and I believe it would look a lot better if you tried and made more your own thing rather than tearing apart sassy 'bot. I know you’re capable of doing better - the other guys in that group shot feel more unique. It kinda feels weird calling him “the dark master” when tbh he looks less menacing than the grunts.

Would it be alright if I tried making and posting a version of this MOC? I’d give credit to the idea - I like trying to build my own versions of others’ creations. It’d also help me get outta a yearish long block

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Good Start, but it has its flaws,

1: The Arms are sorta strange, is there any way you change the bone piece in the left arm to the standard ccbs elbow type, as shown here. (The one in the middle)

Another alternative would be for you to turn the lower arms sideways to be used in conjunction with the piece on the far left, thus giving you elbows. The left arm would be hard to pose from the position that you currently have it in.

2: The arms are positioned too low on the torso, Making it look kind of odd, but from what you have you look like you could move the shoulders up.

3: The torso looks kinda gappy, I’ve found that messing around with technic pieces should do the trick.

4: bit of a nitpick really, but the legs again suffer from the strange posing, that would limits it’s movement.

5: As for the story, its ok, but it seemed a bit more like a build up for an Edgy AntiHero story, but it can be done right. For further help, I’m leaving a few villains writing links.

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html

http://www.springhole.net/writing/write_better_villains.htm

http://www.■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■-lend-to-villainy.htm

http://www.springhole.net/writing/more-villain-tips.htm

One thing that you did do well was maintain a consistant color scheme, bar the mask, which is good because it emphasised the importance of the mask.

I look forward to seeing your feedback!

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the dude’s gone- he can’t take any more criticism.

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