The Furious First Member: Voltex

[details=Voltex’s Backstory]Voltex as a child he was found with no parents and no family, basically he was abundant and left there to die alone.

Luckily for him a women found him, she took him in and moved him in a orphanage. He gave him to eat, drink, he washed him and took great care of him till he became old enough to take care of himself.

He spend most of his time and life in the orphanage, he didn’t really had many friends. Some of them considered him an outcast and outsider.

Life was really cruel with him, and he did nothing, he only came into this world. And its already turning against him, it wasn’t long that it was proven that Voltex had the strengths of a true born warrior.

The kids considered him a monster but truly he wasn’t a monster, he had untapped potential. And he needed training, but well nobody in there was a martial arts master.

Time to time, parents with no kids actually came and wanted to adopt some of the kids. And one by one they were adopted but not him.

He finally had the chance to live in a family, to actually be loved for once and know how it feels to be loved. But the world was against him, he had the change and the world took it from him.

This made him feel very sad, that no one loves him, that no one wants him. That he is a failure to this world.

As time moved on he was a teenager, and his view of life things changed. He wasn’t anymore that child which will let everything slide and forgive.

This time he would actually fight these teenagers which called him weird or unloved and unwanted. And most of the times he would hurt them greatly, so bad that an ambulance was need it.

To punish him the women which kinda adopted him, locked him in a room for a few hours so he could cool off.

In that day a man from a very strange land came, a man which the world has never seen. He went by the name Bambu.

He asked the women if he could see this child, the women told him that he needs to be very careful that he is very dangerous. But he wasn’t frightened by it so he insisted to see this child.

The women did as so. As Bambu entered Voltex’s room he could see that everything was broken and the place was a mess. Voltex said that he should leave, because he is a monster and that he is very dangerous.

Bambu at first told him that he is no such thing as monster and that he is not dangerous. Voltex then attacked Bambu, but with no succes the Master put him down with one swing of his punch.

He told him that he had potential in fighting, but he uses the gift to his selfish needs and that he is not worthy of them if he keeps on going this way.

Bambu then left Voltex, making him wonder. Was he more then met the eye, as the night passed. Bambu came back this time with a set of Dominos.

He said if he can catch the Dominos in the air without breaking them, he will consider teaching him the ways of the warrior.

Voltex at first was very cocky and thought that he could do it with no problem whatsoever, but the task didn’t prove as easy as it would seem.

Because every time Voltex tried to jump and grab the Dominos without breaking them, he would fail. Again and again, he was getting more angry and frustrated by the moment.

He finally snaps and tells Bambu to stop with his trick because it is not possible. And Bambu showed him how wrong he was as he just did it. In front of is very own eyes.

Bambu told him that he has very much anger inside him and that its consuming him, and one day it would tear him apart. But he can use the anger to help him, and aid him in this and do things which would be declared impossible to the normal human.

Voltex did not understand that at the first time, but Bambu helped him understand it, as he told him he can use the force and anger inside him to help him. But not take control over him, he must become one with it but not let it determine his actions.

As Voltex gave it few tries, he was getting better and better. Bambu was proud of him and he told him that the next day he will come back and that he wants to see what he actually learned and put it into practice and show those kids that he isn’t a monster.

So Bambu came the next day and he saw what Voltex was doing, he was performing in front of the children as he showed them what he learned and he threw Dominos into the ear and he grabbed them without breaking them and he did it multiple times.

The more he caught the more he placed on the ground to actually creat a Domino and as he was about finished he kicks a Domino with his finger gently and it began collapsing down creating the image of Yin and Yang.

Showing that he was become one with himself. The children applause him and cheered for him, Voltex felt for the first time that he was loved and that people cared about it.

Then Bambu decided to adopt him and train him in the ways of the warrior. He was allowed to be adopted and Voltex and Bambu walked together towards Bambu’s home.

There he was taught everything he needed to know about fighting, Voltex prove to be a natural in fighting but he needed to control his anger, which time to time took control over him.

But Bambu helped nonetheless, as Voltex grew into an adult he became a Master of some Martial Arts, the ones which he is very good at are: Kung fu (Tiger Form), Taekwondo, Wing Chun and Muay Thai.

Voltex’s fighting style is all about striking and attacking with deadly hits and with maximum speed, there is no but little room for defending himself.

As time moved on, he was Bambu’s first student. And they really became close, almost like father and son.

But everything changed when Bambu decided to recruit more then one skilled warrior.

Voltex can be sometimes every serious and he can be upset really fast so sometimes you must watch out with this guy, because he won’t shy away from punching and sending you into the moon if he has to.

He only concentrates himself to learn and master his fighting style. Thanks for the others of the Furious, there are their to cheer him up a bit.

And thankfully he sometimes laughs and actually finds a joke funny for time to time.
He is more like a quite guy which you don’t want to piss off, so he should be left alone when he is angry.

He finds the new comer the sixth member of the Furious to be annoying and to much kidding around and he doesn’t take anything very seriously, well in Voltex’s point of view.

But he is always there for his new family and he will do anything to protect them, no matter how annoying they all could be.[/details]


Name: Voltex Necron
Race: Ysmaen
Country: Ysmaenia
Martial Arts: Kung Fu (Tiger Form), Taekwondo, Wing Chun and Muay Thai.

Appearance:


Weapons: His sword is a venomous one, if you get slashed more the a few times, you’ll eventually die of poison.

Abilities: Voltex has super stamina, agility, reflexes and has a level 3 healing factor, making him 3 times stronger then before thus increasing his strength, and he can heal from wounds inside and outside his body.

He can run approximately 300 miles per hour and can lift over 30 Tons with ease on a daily basis.

Powers: Like any Ysmean he posses a healing factor, his healing factor goes on the category of level 3. Thus making only 3 times stronger then before as it increases his strength significantly, he still posses super stamina and agility, which do not get affected by his healing factor that much.

His healing factor allows him to summon and use translucent light blue energy, hens the translucent light blue overall his body, he can send energy waves and blasts at foes.


Back view. So I tried to make it compact as possible and make it look neat overall.


Look at them high kicks though…as expected he is very posable and he is very stable, do to the fact that he is a light character nothing is really heavy.


A closer look at Voltex.


A landing pose.




Voltex mostly spars with the sixth member, because he grew to like him and he became like a brother to him which he never had.


Here is a dialog between them. This happend because before Voltex got used to the new comer he greatly injured him and the others which were trying to stop him.

Bambu: “I know what you are feeling right now, Voltex.”

Voltex: “Oh you do ?” he asks.

Bambu: “I do.” he replies. “But endangering one of your teammate or any other teammate in sparing combat, cannot be tolerated. Do you understand, Voltex ?” he asked in a serious tone.

Voltex: “Yes, I do…I’m sorry.”

Bambu: “Voltex, you must never lose sight of the fact that upon this earth, you are strong and very skilled fighter, and such power, must be used wisely.”


His Theme:


Alright, hope you enjoyed this one. And I hope you want to see more of my MOCs.

So like always constructive criticism is always appreciated, and if you liked my moc then it would be nice for you to like it.

If you have any feedback on how I can improve then let me know, and let me know what you liked about this moc and what you did not like.

Bye :slight_smile:

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His body looks a bit too thin, especially below the chest, and from the back it looks like a rectangle on a pillar. However, I do like the general concept of the moc, although the green sword looks really out of place, maybe it would work better with Bambu.

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I much agree with @Mr.Monopoly said , not so much than a 2016 build, but it’s not so bad, and the story is interesting.

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too long didn’t read/10

He doesn’t look particularly monstrous

All right! The first member! This is going to be good.

CRITICS:

Left there, where?

Can you please try to use actual English, and not broken English? Mainly because it becomes hard and cringey to read. [quote=“MichaelTheLightBringer, post:1, topic:47618”]
He spend most of his time and life in the orphanage, he didn’t really had many friends. Some of them considered him an outcast and outsider.
[/quote]

Don’t really see the logic: if you grew up ogether with other kids, why would they consider you an outsider?

Why? Did he trained at there? Becasue form what I know, you don’t became a ‘true warrior’ if you don’t train. You should have specified this. [quote=“MichaelTheLightBringer, post:1, topic:47618”]
Time to time, parents with no kids actually came and wanted to adopt some of the kids. And one by one they were adopted but not him.
[/quote]

Wait, wait…
You gave the sensation that, once time passed it became obvious that he is a true warrior. But then you said that he was wanting to get adopted, so he was still very young. A very young child can’t be a skilled warrior, this contradicts the basic ideas every human has!

Of course nobody adopted him? Who would want a young child that is spending his time proving that he is a warrior? I don’t know how he ‘showed to the world that he is a born warrior’ other than fighting or using weapons, so let me remake the anterior sentence: who would want a warrior child?

So Voltex is a punk.

Seems right.

Question: where did Bambu, a grandmaster OP fighter, heard of Voltex, on orphan punk?

If I would enter in a room where literally everything is destroyed, and I would find only Voltex inside of it, then I would consider him a monster too.

Why? It is nothing but a proof that Voltex can’t control his emotions!

##OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!
I understand everything now!
He showed that ‘he has a potential of a true warrior’ ONLY when Bambu showed up! This kinda makes sense now! But you should have made it more clear.

I don’t understand. You jump and catch them. How could you brake a piece of domino, which is technically unbreakable for a teenager!

I almost forgot that these dudes are existing on real-life Earth.

So if I would take my old set of dominos, throw them in air, and catch them knowing that they are not going to brake if they touch my arm, would those bullies that bullied me my whole -life stop?
cHaLlAnGe AcCePtEd.

Everybody is the same with myself. I am the same with myself, you are the same with yourself. [quote=“MichaelTheLightBringer, post:1, topic:47618”]
almost like father and son.
[/quote]

Almost?

Oh…

So he is:

  • Angry
  • Amused
  • Jockingly
  • Concentrated
  • Silent
    in the same time? This is the blandest character I’ve ever seen! A good character has a clear and finite pallet of feelings, Voltex has all of them!

Something is odd at this moc… I don’t know what I like at it, or what I don’t like at it. I think it’s the torso, that looks rather a little messy.
The colour scheme is actually pretty good, but the black seems a rarity comparative with the gold and trans-blue.
There are unnecessary gaps in the torso, which makes it awkward.
The limbs are very simple, to the point where makes us think that they were just threw together with the more complex torso build.
There are a lot of technic pieces visible thanks to the gaps in the torso.
The trans-blue shells are very awkwardly connected to the chest.

You could add an in-universe explication of why it is green. Maybe it is somehow related to Bambu, which IS green.

I know what you are feeling right now, Bambu? Is this guy one of those senile old men that are throwing their names in every sentence?


CONCLUSION:
I have mixed feelings about this guy. I kinda lie his story (mostly because it is inspired by Karate Kid), but the things I pointed out are dragging it down. I like the creative chest, but the more I look into it the more I dislike it. The character himself seems closer to a Marry Sue than with something I can relate to, but I guess it’s only a temporary opinion.
With that out of the way, this moc gets a 7/10. This is the most I can give. But compared to the great Bambu… Yeah. I hope the next moc will be better.


FILLER:

Hey, this is a one on one copy of what I was thinking!

Side note: I don’t know why some of the things I wrote didn’t uploaded. Weird.

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Does it matter ? In a abandoned place.

Well when you grow older you start to rethink your friends and well the world can sometimes be evil towards you and yeah this sort of things tends to happen.

A true born warrior meaning that he has the skill and strength to become one, is like a gift you are born with but you need to train hard to become that someone which you are distend to be.

Look so, he is lets say like 10 year old, and he one time destroyed a wooden table with only using his force.

Well yeah. he was.

Anime logic :smile: Let says visited there and well he heard of him. And if you ask well why did he visit their…well the universe told him. Done.

Well he can’t.

Well sometimes we must first think before we can talk or learn how to walk before we can run. I advice you next time to read carefully the entire Story and then make statements.

They were made out of wood which if you apply to much force you can break them.

No it would not, so do not try this at school. You’d probably get laughed at, this is a universe where well in the area where Voltex lived they didn’t had advanced technology.

Well they can’t be father like son since he is not Bambu’s offspring.

I’ll take that as a good thing…

Okay.

Yes.

That would actually be…my missed typed error…let me redit that…

I hope so too.

I was curious that’s all.

See my later post.

Again, nobody would want to adopt a child that destroys tables.

I will resume it to anime logic.

You don’t apply that much force when you catch something. Unless the dominos were making of… of… sand or gravel or something with a density very small, then what you described is still illogic.

But…
You said the whole story is happening on Earth.

He is still technically his step-father.

No. It’s a bad thing. If your character has so many emotional traits then nobody would care about him anymore. And nobody will know how to describe him.
“Oh yeah… That guy Voltex. He is the funny one. And the smart one. And the quiet one. And the…”
You will end up in a spot where he will have opposite traits. You already are in that spot! He is both amused and quiet? This is a contradiction.

It is complicated ! I didn’t even came up with the story yet.

No you don’t get it, when he needs to be quite he is quit, and he finds something funny he can laugh. He can be smart at somethings but he is not a world calls genius, he is very good at fighting and not at MIT !

OK, can you give me an example of character that is funny and quiet in the same time and that actually works?

You just don’t get what I am trying to say. I NEVER SAID HE CAN BE QUIET AND FUNNY AT THE SAME TIME.

Where did you even get this from ???

OK, not in the same time. Tell me a serious character that also has moments where he is funny and actually works.

Superman, Batman well he can be funny when he actually does his Batman tricks on you and your face be like what ? And he would like smirk, I have evidence to show you.

For Example Deadpool he can be serious but most of the time he is serious.

wait a minute…I never said he can be funny !

I said he can laugh at a joke he finds it funny !

This is what I said, and it doesn’t say that he is funny, it says that he can laugh at a joke.

I really really really really can’t recall a moment when Batman was amused and made the audience laugh.

Deadpool is never serious. Those moments of ‘seriousness’ are still jokes made to entertain the audience. Hell! Aside of the moments when he is mutated and when his girlfriend dies, every second from both movies are jokes or intentionally made to make the audience smile.

And I initially said that he is amused, which slowly evolved into be funny.
However,

Yeah this is a valid example.

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So then this subject is closed, and I hope I answered your questions…I hope…

those are some Maniamac1613 level shoulders right there.

Also, give the man a blue bladed sword instead of a green one

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This video is reference for the next one.^

These are just two that I could think of. Batman is a very unique character in that he can be interpreted in a multitude of nuanced ways.

This says it better

3 Likes