The Malaphor Topic

Malaphor is an informal term for a mixture of two aphorisms, idioms, or clichés (such as “We’ll burn that bridge when we come to it”). Also called an idiom blend .

This topic is specifically for the comedic combination of idioms for humorous affect. Keep it clean, keep it funny, and above all else don’t be afraid to use an idiom already used before in your combinations. I expect a heft amount of overlap.

Now get to it!

the sarced cows have come home to roost with a vengeance

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but wait I’m not literate enough

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the ball is in your halfway house

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Keep your eye on the horse’s mouth.

The apple doesn’t fall far from your wheelhouse.

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My favorite has always been:

We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.

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Always look both ways before you leap

He who hesitates is doomed to repeat it.

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Don’t count your chickens before they go on a wild goose chase.

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Bite the fish in a barrel.

Get one’s ducks from A to Z fit as a fiddle.

At the drop of a basket case.

Kick the bucket hook, line and sinker.

…I think that’s all I got for now.

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Getting those ducks in a row is really worth your salt.

did I do it right?

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You can lead a horse to water, but you shouldn’t throw stones.

Or, those who live in glass houses can’t make it drink :stuck_out_tongue:

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Buddy, I’m afraid you’re too late to make this thread. That train has sailed.

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Practice what you preach before you take the speck out of your brother’s.

You can’t have your horse and eat it to.

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Hold your gift horse in the mouth.

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You can’t teach an old tree to grow money

Well burn that can of worms when we open it.

These are hard to make up

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You’ve got bigger leopards to spot.

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Beauty is in the mouth of the gift horse.
All’s fair in horseshoes and hand grenades.
The early bird gets the grease.
Girls are made of good intentions.

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This really grinds my cog in the machine.

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I’m throwing all my wrenches into one basket.

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