Johann Sebastian Bach can’t afford to buy that. He’s baroque
3 Likes
Why did the dog get a 95% on his English paper?
he forgot to put a question bark!
4 Likes
FTFY 
4 Likes
What’s the trash’s favourite colour?
Garbeige!
4 Likes
Why did Leia call for Kenobi in Star Wars: A New Hope?
He was the Obi-Wan she could count on.
4 Likes
but love isn’t canon though
Don’t believe it!
16 Likes
willess has just defeated greg
7 Likes
indeed he has
1 Like
I once wrote an essay about the turaga, but I lost points because there was Nokama 
9 Likes
Redditors when they get Nokama 
5 Likes
I want a game where you play as a famous american singer driving on a dark road trying not to wreck.
you could call it Johnny Crash
4 Likes
I went on a zoom call and told a joke, but nobody laughed.
It seems as though I’m not remotely funny
7 Likes
I’m supposed to be getting a 90k steel ball for my birthday.
I can hardly weight-it.
2 Likes
It’s better to have loved a short woman than never to have loved a tall.
8 Likes
Your love was short and sweet.
Which is better than being a long lost love
4 Likes
You can hear the blood in your veins if you listen varicosely
7 Likes
So there was a group of hamsters, see, and they realized they could use the spinning of their hamster wheels to make energy. They started building a city, but eventually got to the point where power from running hamsters was too inneficient. They needed something else to make the wheels spin, something that always moves… like river water.
Sure enough, they were able to make a water wheel. Problem is, the river near their town was too shallow to turn large wheels. They needed to get it deeper, so they made a dam.
Well, it worked for a few days, but then it broke. Turns out hamsters aren’t great at making dams. So they got the beavers to help this time, built a good dam, and got their water wheels running to power their city.
To this day, they call it New Hamster-dam
5 Likes
Unfortunately, there were colonial tensions with the nearby yak colonies. The yaks believed they had a claim to New Hamster-dam, while the Hamsters argued they had a claim on another yak territory. After the second yak-hamster war of 1665-67, an agreement was ultimately created in which the Yaks would give up their claims of the other hamster colony, and in return the hamsters surrendered New Hamster-dam to the yaks.
Now, New Hamster-dam is New Yak.
5 Likes
Im starting up a service for people to make emergency calls when theyre attacked by a reptile.
I call it CrocoDial.
4 Likes