2002
1-The Bohrok
Eljay: Sick and tired of beautiful, lush plantlife infesting the land? Want to turn it into a desolate plain like so? [the camera shows a patch of dirt] Well, then have we got the product for you. Introducing Bohrok: the perfect island destroyers. These biomechanical, operational, hydraulic recyclers, and omnidirectional kickballs, are each designed for a different way to destroy Matoran homes. They have so many functions! They even roll up into compact spheres for extra storage space and easy transport. [puts rolled-up Tahnok and Nuhvok into a satchel and gives a thumbs-up] Listen to one of our satisfied customers.
Kongu: Bohrok suck. No one should ever buy a Bohrok, because they are horrible. They-whoa. Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-what are you doing? No! No! NO!!!
[Lehvak comes in and attacks Kongu]
Kongu: [now being controlled by a red Krana] Clean. Clean it all. It must be cleaned.
Eljay: Certain Bohrok even fit nicely in the space of a freezer. [opens a freezer to reveal Kohrak rolled up and sitting inside; proceeds to remove Kohrak] That way, they can make ice cubes for the beverage they’ll never give you. [gives a thumbs-up] So buy a swarm today! Bohrok-the robots you need for the world domination you want.
2-The Bohrok Va
Eljay: And now, a Bohrok Va protest.
Tahnok Va: [standing on a log, overseeing the rest of the Bohrok Va] We, the Bohrok Va, shall no longer deal with the Bohrok ordering us around like some sort of mindless fools!
Gahlok Va, Kohrak Va, and Nuhvok Va: Yay!
Lehvak Va: Bohrok Va rule!
Pahrak Va: Wait, what am I doing here?
Tahnok Va: We will rise up with our tiny mechanical fists and show the Bohrok a thing or two about Bohrok Va!
Gahlok Va, Kohrak Va, and Nuhvok Va: Yeah!
Lehvak Va: Stupid Bohrok!
Pahrak Va: Wait, what-why am I still here?
Tahnok Va: So, who of you stand with me?
Lewa: [wearing a golden Miru] Count me out.
Tahnok Va: Oh, it’s gonna be one of those days.
3-Bionicle Master Builder
Eljay: Okay. [looks at the box] Fifteen? I can’t make that many jokes. I don’t get paid enough for this! [stumbles out of frame]
4-Boxor
[footage of Eljay’s The Tohunga review on YouTube is shown; comments that read “Hmm. What about Nuparu or do you count him as a different set?” “Nuparu was also a mctoran released” “YOU FORGOT ONE! NUPARU ,who comes whith the boxor, is one, evan if he has two disk arms.” are shown; a reply from Eljay that reads “Came out in 2002. Not 2001.” is shown; more comments, such as “Still the same.” “What about Nuparu who came with the boxor.” “There is one more from the boxor set : Nuparu” “Are you going to review Boxor” are shown]
[Eljay removes Nuparu from the Boxor’s cockpit and angrily takes him outside; he rides his ATV to a trail in the forest; on arriving, he dismounts and puts Nuparu in the middle of the dirt road, then gets back on his ATV and drives right toward Nuparu; the camera cuts away just before Eljay hits Nuparu]
5-Exo-Toa
Tahu: Now Toa Tahu has acquired a suit of Exo-Toa armor that gives him greater control over fire. [lights match and holds it close to the Exo-Toa] Uh…or not?
6-Cahdok and Gahdok
[Gahdok is shown standing among chickens pecking about in the grass]
7-Tahu Nuva
Tahu: Now that I’m a Toa Nuva, I’ve finally overcome my urge to cause large fires. [sees a match among the pebbles and runs for it]
8-Gali Nuva
Gali: [angrily] My name is not Flipper!
9-Lewa Nuva
Eljay: Lewa’s lack of luck begins when he was taken over by Makuta using an infected Kanohi mask. He was later saved by his friend Onua. His lack of luck continues when he was taken over by a Bohrok’s Krana. And once again saved by his friend Onua. Lewa’s lack of luck continues now that he has been transformed into a powerful Toa Nuva.
Lewa: Wind! Wind! Wind-I don’t understand. What has ever happened to my voice? What-Mata Nui, what have you done to me?
10-Kopaka Nuva
Pohatu: Howdy, Kopaka. What do you think of our Nuva transformations?
[Kopaka stares blankly into space]
Pohatu: Are you ever gonna talk to me?
[Kopaka continues to ignore Pohatu]
Pohatu: Huh. Well, I’ll try again in 2008.
11-Onua Nuva
Onua: Well, now that my weapons are rollerskates, I should probably wear a helmet-just like my mother told me to. [sighs] If only I had one.
Eljay: [sitting in the director’s chair] Alright. I just made a Hero Factory joke that no one is going to get. And possibly offended millions of people. [slaps thigh] Ah. Wait. No. Put the brick down. Put the brick down! [waves arms defensively]
12-Pohatu Nuva
Hewkii: Hey Pohatu, can you go get us another Kolhi ball?
Pohatu: No problem. [looks between a normal Kolhi ball and the spiked ball formed from his Toa Tools] Hm. Let’s try something new. [takes spiked ball] Hey guys, try this one! [kicks the ball]
[the spiked ball hits Hewkii and breaks off his left leg]
Hewkii: Ah, my leg! My leg is gone. Ah!
Pohatu: Uh-oh. [leaves[
13-Bionicle 2002
[Hewkii and Macku are shown sitting in front of a river; a Bionicle storage box drops in front of them]
Storage Box: No! I will not allow this relationship to be canon!
Macku: It will happen! There’s nothing you can do to stop this!
Storage Box: Watch me.
[Hewkii is transformed into a Toa Inika]
Macku: [looks at Hewkii] NNNNOOOOO!!!