Well, Little Johnny, why don’t you go touch grass and tell me how the Sun feels outside? No one’s stopping you.
Should I buy 20 $1 lotto tickets, or a $20 roll of firecrackers?
2 Likes
Well Little Johnny you can’t buy those young.
Are you the Devil that came to Georgia?
2 Likes
Well, little Johnny, rosin up your bow and play your fiddle hard, ‘cuz hell’s broke loose in Georgia and the Devil deals the cards.
Why do I not have any friends?
2 Likes
well little johnny, it is because i have eaten them all
why do i want to hit the yoinky sploinky knowing full well i could get hit right back
3 Likes
Well, Little Johnny, is it because of a lack of sanity, or because you have a death wish?
Why am I here, a contaminant in a pristine atmosphere?
2 Likes
Well little Johnny, it’s so I have an excuse to buy febreze.
Why are we still here? Just to suffer?
3 Likes
Well little Johnny, They built a base at the other end of our canyon, so now you can take turns with me keeping an eye on Them until someone gets trigger-happy.
Which end of this do I point at myself?
1 Like
Well Little Johnny, if you know there’s a blue shell in there you should point the barrel at your face. If you know there’s a red shell, also point it at yourself to sike your opponent, then quickly point the barrel at them and fire. If you don’t know what shell is in there, pray, flip a coin, and point the barrel at whatever that indicates.
Why hasn’t the Earth hatched yet?
2 Likes
Well little Johnny, it’s because it isn’t hot enough yet to properly incubate. Please petition China to produce even more toxic emissions and greenhouse gases so we can raise the global temperature and get this little guy to hatch 
How many shrimp(s) do you have to eat before you make your skin turn pink?
2 Likes
Well Little Johnny, we have an 80ft trailer filled with raw shrimp for you to consume until this question is answered. And remember, your college admissions depend on you turning flamingo pink, so get eating before we leave for Harvard!
why am I like this?
2 Likes
Well little Johnny, would we have it any other way? 
Why is Bionicle coming back?
1 Like
Well Little Johnny, the owners of The Company have decided to let you relive your trip down the Boulevard of Broken Dreams Lime Joints at your own expense (at least twice what you remembered paying last time) with the all new Toa of Lime Parts, retailing at $42.97 before taxes, only available at your local Barnes and Noble, with purchase of at least $50 of anatomy textbooks. You’re welcome.
When is dinner, and why is it supper?
2 Likes
Well Little Johnny, it’s not ever lunch time yet, dinner is coming soon at night.
Am I a ro010101010101…?
1 Like
Well little Johnny, no, you’re not a roU (which is what that binary text converts to).
Instead, you are a 011001000110111101111000011110000110010101110010.
What’s keeping me from finding my dream girl? (aside from the restraining order she filed)
2 Likes
Well Little Johnny, you’re 5, and that’s your teacher writing about your bad report cards that you been getting a ton of.
I been turned into a spider, and I don’t know how to turn back!
1 Like
Well old man Little Johnny, you shouldn’t have grabbed my aranea maledicta magnitudinis manus while I was out of the conservatory. I’m afraid the only cure is loads double barreled shotgun THIS!
Where can I obtain the syrup of kiwis?
1 Like
Well Little Johnny, you can obtain the syrup of kiwis by choking some out.
Where can I get balloons?
2 Likes
Well little Johnny, balloons are illegal and can only be bought by suspicious looking clowns in dark alleyways or under bridges.
How do I get rich?
2 Likes
Well Little Johnny never do it, your never get what you can’t get what you want.
I CURSED YOU ALL FOR DESTROYING MY LIFE OVER AND OVER, BY TURNING YOU INTO FROGS!!!
1 Like
Well little Johnny, no source cited so you’re clearly just lying 
Why do I suddenly want to eat flies?
1 Like