The Brotherhood of Makuta - Makuta Ormen

Name: Ormen
Assigned Region: One of the southern islands
Kanohi: Iden, Great mask of spirit
Status: Dead


Ormen was a Makuta who tried to give a Kratta multiple Kratta powers, his goal being to create a Rakshi with all 42 Kratta powers. Using his knowlege of rahi he came extremely close, but something went wrong. A piece of equipment busted, severly injuring Ormen and causing memory loss. Later Ormen became suspicious of Mutran, but Ormen had no evidence, so his suspicions were never vocalized. Ormen was bedridden as a result of his injuries. Ormen started to use his Iden to explore the matoran universe which interested many in the brotherhood, especially Teridax. Teridax started regularly visiting Ormen. Shortly after Teridax took over the brotherhood, Ormen found Tren Krom’s Island and started to explore it. When Ormen neared Trem Krom, Tren Krom sensed Ormen and forced Ormen into his body. The mental recoil killed Ormen.

This staff was really fun to build

Please leave comments and constructive criticism (i.e. don’t just say “this MOC stinks!” If you feel that way say why or what I could better.)
Thanks!:smiley:

16 Likes

Couldn’t have put it better myself! /joke

Anyways, The textures clash a bit, and I’d like to see some more colors, and the feet are large, but otherwise it’s nice.

1 Like

Actually I was going for a mostly monochromatic color scheme, but…

YOUR ADVICE STINKS!! kidding kidding… :stuck_out_tongue:

1 Like

@Apophyx I never realized that… Ooops

While we are pointing out body parts, I would like to point out the red eyes

2 Likes

I don’t really like the feet, but other than that, cool concept.

I’m not sure why, but that mask works perfectly with the moc.

1 Like

well the guy could use a bit more white and the feet could be changed to something smaller. Other than that the moc is pretty good. Nice job!

@Timeline15 Thank you!

@MysteryMuffin I thought so too.

@mrbioproductions I like the completely black body actually, but thanks!

1 Like

I do like the colour scheme the key to my heart is black but for the rest of the moc i feel its alright i do like the use of a visorak

Well, the feet are definitely pretty … unique. :wink: The legs could have been a little more custom built in my opinion, but otherwise he’s good.
Using only black aside from the mask does work surprisingly well without the cloak, but with it he would probably look much better with a little more white on the torso. And speaking of the colour scheme - I feel like that silver scythe thing doesn’t fit in there at all. Black and a transparent colour would probably work better there.

Perhaps you could also add a better pic of the whole MOC with the cloak on? The first one is a little small and the second one pretty blurry.


About the backstory:

Well, I can’t blame you for (probably) not reading the backstories of all the other project entries and not knowing about by personal preferences in terms of variety … but another creator of dangerous Rahi isn’t necessarily the thing this project needs. Aside from the fact that I find it somewhat unbelievable that so many Makuta died through their own Rahi.
But well, I might be able to subtly change it a bit for the “Book of the Brotherhood” although I’m not totally happy about it. Perhaps instead you could change the backstory? I would volunteer to help with a few suggestions.

The only real problem I see with the backstory, though, is this:[quote=“Nogus1, post:1, topic:26061”]
Using his Iden, Ormen left his body, but couldn’t find another body before his spirit dissipated.
[/quote]

If his original body dies, he’s dead after some time, finding a new body doesn’t help. He could perhaps have used it to find help, but then Makuta also have telepathic abilities, so… maybe he got killed while using his Iden when he thought himself safe?


So yeah, at least that Iden thing needs to be corrected, then I can accept the MOC.

@Gilahu The backstory I can change, and suggestions would be appreciated.

The pic… maybe. Ormen is currently dismantled so… If I rebuild him I will try to use different feet, but no guarantees.

Not bad, could use more white.

A few suggestions then, let’s see …

Wait, I just remembered something I already posted as a suggestion in the project topic. So here’s a full backstory suggestion ;):

Ormen was a Virus scientist. He would create viruses and combine them to new ones which then would be used by other Makuta for creating Rahi.
But one day something happened: In an accident a vat with his most recent creation shattered and the virus “infected” Ormen, weakening him severely and endangering his life. With the help of some other Makuta he managed to counteract that first virus with others to some extend, but remained crippled in body and powers.
Too frail now to do anything but staying in his “sickbed”, he started to use his mask more often, exploring the secrets of the Matoran Universe with it. Teridax turned out to be very interested in what Ormen learned and was seen to visit the crippled Makuta often.
One day Ormen discovered Tren Krom’s island and made to enter the cave in which the ancient being - unbeknownst to him - lived. However, Tren Krom felt the intruder and forced Ormen’s Astral Form back into his body so fast and violently, that the mental recoil damaged his body’s systems severely enough to kill Ormen.

(This Tren Krom ability isn’t exactly canon, but it’s not not canon either, so … well, I feel like this is an ability that would fit Tren Krom - does anyone think different?)

I had the same thought upon reading this. Then I thought: what about a creator of intelligent Rahi?

That could lead to a Rahi like the one described. Plus, some Makuta must have made the Artahka Bull, the Krahka, and the Frost Beetle…

Actually, I really like Gilahu’s backstory, too, but if you want to keep close to your original backstory, this is a way you could go about it.


As far as the MOC goes, First, the Iden looks ideal for a Makuta, due to its “tube-face” look. The feet are really odd though; they look like large oddly-shaped boots. And is the head custom, or are the eyes simply painted?

~W12~

Oh. Well, then my question becomes: how is this MOC’s head made?

1 Like

You can also you post it notes to change eye colors.

You place a post it over the green, and then put on the mask.

yeh it doesnt have to be white i like it the way it is now tbh

The color scheme is very meh due to the lack of color, you can add some metru green or some metru red or something to make the figure “eye-catching”. Also, the rear end is weird, you can add some bulk to it for making it less wierd!

Your MOC stinks! (Hahahahahahaha! It’s a joke! I like it!)

But overall, nice one!

@Gilahu Great backstory! I will chose this as Ormen’s backstory. Is it ok to just say the backstory is on post 14?
And the Tren Krom thing does fit.
For future reference could I do a @21sselliW suggested with intelligent rahi?

21sselliW The head is an Inika head with some kind of foil beneath the mask.

@Mar Thanks!

Nah, I think it would be better if you edit the first post and change the backstory there. Do that and I’ll accept the MOC.

As to what @21sselliW wrote: I think Makuta Manguopo is already responsible for the cretion of Krahka and Keetongu’s race. But otherwise a creator of semi intelligent Rahi is something that could be used in the future.
Although I have to say that even intelligent Rahi don’t seem a much more believable death source to a Makuta than dumb ones. There’s no reason Rahi control shouldn’t work on them.