Y'know what, I've figured it out. I know how to get a girlfriend/boyfriend.
Step 1: Get a van and a car
Step 2: Get two pairs of new clothes and mask to disguise yourself
Step 3: Find a happy couple with one of the two being what you're looking for, but they can only be dating
Step 4: Jump 'em and steal the being you desire
Step 5: Use the van for a getaway
Step 6: Shake the cops since they'll most likely come after you and switch vehicles to the car (and the other clothes for that matter)
Step 7: Escape and make sure they didn't see you in the car (and don't forget to take your desired GF/BF with you in it, but make sure nobody sees him/her either)
Congratulations, you have a girlfriend/boyfriend. I mean sure it's not yours but that's not what we're aiming for, right?