[“December 31, 2006, 11:59 PM” flashes across the screen; Defilak and Dekar are looking at the Bionicle website]
Defilak: Well, looks like another years’ at an end, Dekar. Tell me, do you have any regrets?
Dekar: Nah, not really. Well, there-there was the one thing. I do wish we started that swimming club we always wanted to. That won’t bite us in the rear end anytime soon.
Defilak: Yep. That’s for sure. [looks at computer screen] Hup! It’s midnight! Let’s refresh the page! [refreshes the page]
[the 2007 Bionicle website is shown on the computer screen]
[Morak is looking at the Bionicle wiki; he clicks on his page and reads under the Trivia section: “Due to the major cuts done to the story in 2007, Morak was never seen in any comics or books. However, Morak did have an entry in the Bionicle Encyclopedia Updated.” Morak then opens up the Bionicle Encyclopedia Updated and reads his entry, which is extremely short; he turns to see a pair of scissors with Greg Farshtey’s face taped onto them; the scissors come closer to him while snipping]
Morak: Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Aaaahhhhh!!!!!!
Takadox: [relaxing on a beach chair] Ah, this is the life! Sunbathing-just what the doctor ordered! [gets up] But enough of that. Time to figure out why I just can never win nighttime hide-and-seek. Hm…
Ehlek: Hey Kalmah!
Kalmah: Mm. What is it, Ehlek?
Ehlek: Hey buddy, I know we’ve known each other for a long time, but-uh-are you a squid or an octopus? I-I really can’t tell.
Kalmah: What in the world makes you think I’m an octopus? See, I’m a squid. Can’t you tell?
Carapar: Maybe it’s all those times you inked the bed, Kalmah! [laughs]
[Kalmah takes Carapar and puts him in an oven]
Carapar: Wait-Kalmah, no! I was just kidding, Kalmah! Kalmah, oh!
Carapar: Ah, there’s nothing like looking at family pictures.
[Carapar is looking a picture and a Wikipedia page about the Fiddler Crab]
Mantax: I have no friends. Only enemies I haven’t killed yet.
Eljay: [sobbing and patting Mantax on the head] Me too, Mantax. Me too.
Ehlek: Now, prepare to face my eel army...on land! [a snake starts to slither on Ehlek] Wait-what? No! No, wrong way! No, this isn’t what I had in mind when I traded in eels for snakes! Ah!
[Pridak is looking at the IMDB page for Jaws]
Pridak: I remember the good old days.
Jaws Trailer: We’re gonna need a bigger boat.
Eljay: We’ll rebuild him. We’ll make him stronger than before. The sharpest blades, like that of shark teeth. A strong tentacle for crushing his enemies. Deadly blue spikes. The head of the strongest crab. What-what do manta rays have? Forget it. Give him spikes. Spikes are cool. Oh-and glowy blue stuff. That’s awesome. [shows the finished Nocturn] And his name shall be… Prilakidoxaparceltox! [short pause] Okay. I quit.
Kongu: Alright, it’s time for me to summon a powerful creature using my Mask of Summoning!
[shot of Kongu standing before a dog]
Kongu: Eh, well, looks like I’m never using this mask again.
Jaller: [looks down] Hm?
[Hahnah Crab walks up to Jaller]
Jaller: Oh, look, a small Rahi who seemingly wants to befriend me. Hm, now that I think about it, Takua had a pet Ussal crab. Maybe I could join the club! Come here, buddy! [mounts a Cordak blaster on the Hahnah Crab and laughs] Sucker! Now you get to carry the cannon! Have fun!
Hydraxon: Hey Hewkii, let me give you a hand. [holds hand out]
[Hewkii looks down at his right arm, which has an open ball joint with no hand]
Nuparu: I wonder how long it’s gonna take people to realize I’m not using my mask. Just dead. Hm.
Hahli: Time to test out these new wings.
Hewkii: Hahli, what are you doing?
Hahli: It’s okay, Hewkii. I’ve got these new wings, and I am a Toa!
Hewkii: Wait, no! Hahli! Your joints are lime!
Maxilos: No matter how hard you try, Matoro, you cannot defeat me. Not even if you freeze me solid-
[Matoro looks offscreen; jump cut to Matoro putting Maxilos in a refrigerator]
Maxilos: Hey-wait. Matoro? Let’s talk about-
[Matoro closes the refrigerator]
Maxilos: Pretty please?
Matoro: Well, time to go do that dying thing. [sighs] Responsibilities.
Eljay: Oh, good morning, Gadunka. How are you doing-have you been brushing those chompers? Ah-ah. Have you been flossing right between the teeth? Alright, that’s good, good. Ah-alright. Now, open your jaws. Open ‘em up. Up wide. C’mon, open ‘em up. Oh, that’s good. That-Gadunka. Did you eat another Toa? [points at the door] Get out of my office.
Dekar: [holding the Mask of Life] It’s okay, Mr. Mask. I’ll keep you safe. [hears something rushing by] What-what was that sound? No!
[creepy music plays as a pair of scissors with Greg Farshtey’s face taped on comes for Dekar; the scissors snip]
Dekar: No. No! NNNOOOOAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[fade to black before cutting to Dekar in the form of Hydraxon]
Hydraxon: What-whoa. What-I-I-I have eyes!
18-Maxilos And Spinax
Maxilos: Do do-do d-do. And halt.
[Spinax comes to a stop as Maxilos stops; he pants like a dog]
Maxilos: [petting Spinax] Ah, yes, who’s a good skeleton dog? You are. Good boy.
[Maxilos looks up to see Kulta approaching; a Skull Scorpio comes up beside Kulta]
Maxilos: What are you doing?
Kulta: I’m walking my skeletal scorpion. What are you doing?
Maxilos: I’m walking my skeletal dog.
Kulta: Aw. Poser. [turns and leaves]
Vakama: I’m a terrible leader.
Lesovikk: [burps] Join the club, buddy.
Eljay: Here we are, at the annual Bionicle reunion.
Hahli: OMG Gali, you look so great-
[Karzahni taps Hahli on the shoulder]
Karzahni: Uh-hey, Hahli. Uh-could you sign my yearbook?
Hahli: Absolutely. Here, let’s just go ahead and take a look at your book. [opens up Bionicle: World] Alright, over here and-uh...you really let yourself go.
Hydraxon: [sighs] Now that everyone’s gone from the Pit, what am I gonna do? Everything’s so...lonely.
[the Hahnah Crab walks up to Hydraxon]
Hydraxon: Mm? Why, hello little crab. Seeing you so small and tiny reminds me, everyone has a destiny. Everyone has a purpose in this Matoran universe. You know what your destiny is? [mounts a Cordak blaster on the Hahnah Crab] To be a sucker. Have fun carrying my Cordak blaster, crab. [laughs]