I entered the Italian restaurant and sat at the table.
“One pineapple pizza please”
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“Tell me about your mother,” the kindly psychiatrist asked, taking notes on a clipboard.
“She took too long.”
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I looked out across the sloping hills covered in freshly fallen snow.
I reloaded my shotgun, knowing there was plenty of snow still alive.
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I gazed into the eyes of Murder John, full of hatred and evil and death
Then we kissed
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We opened the doors, staring in fear at what lay behind. But was it only a mirror?
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I accepted an invitation to go see a new blockbuster movie and eagerly looked at the ticket. I froze with a realization that it was a movie addaptation of Bionicle 75 by Flora Martinez.
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“Where did all of the hamburger helper go”?
“BUUUUURP” said garfileld
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I gazed upon the vast emptiness at the edge of the universe but even in the void I can make out something horrid in the distance.
Oh wait that’s a speck of dust inside my helmet
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I truly believed I had nothing comical enough for this topic.
Then, I realized no one laughs at my jokes anyways, so there was no need to overthink it.
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A man built a statue in the spring, and another in the summer.
They stood throughout fall, but in the winter one fell over.
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I miss having the GregF reaction.
Because Racie just posted…
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Whens a character goes to the public domain.
It’s quickly turns into a bad horror movie.
5 Likes
“What are we,” i asked nonchalantly.
“some kind of suicide squad?”
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, I cried as my monster made of different undead flesh parts woke up from the surgery table.
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The world was blank, devoid of all life and color. I drew my sword, the outline black against the white canvas as I began my conquest…
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Anybody can see that I’m a blind man.
Anybody but me…
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Killer Fish.
Killer Fish from San Diego…
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I was taking a stroll in the park when, to my delight, I saw a perfectly good bar of chocolate on the bench!
It wasn’t chocolate….
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I had just gotten back from the park when I realized I had left my brand-new toffee bar behind.
I sure hope nobody thought it was chocolate…
4 Likes
I decided to take over my family’s business of manufacturing toffee bars.
I replaced all of the toffee with uranium 
3 Likes