Don’t hire me
I can navigate my house in the dark
3 Likes
I have an outstanding memory, for example, I am capable of navigating my place of residence when it is in the complete darkness of the night
I play Roblox
2 Likes
I play a game that involves the creation and interaction with other players’ games, often in ways that can invoke server disruptions. Fire me soon.
I can fly.
2 Likes
I am either a troll, a liar, or both. Ask about it in the interview just to see what hilarity ensues.
I broke a CNC bit
I broke an expensive piece of machinery despite this piece of machinery being a common tool in my preferred trade, damaging my reputation in the field in the future.
I was drinking hot cocoa and burned my tongue.
4 Likes
Whilst consuming a fluid comprised of liquidized cocoa beans and a sugar product, the heating properties of the beverage transferred onto my lingua, injuring it greatly. However, I survived this horrific incident, and I am here now despite the immense pain I felt in that moment.
I like coloring with crayola crayons.
4 Likes
I am a childish dolt who considers the excessive grinding of petroleum products upon paper a useful pastime. Fire me now.
I can say “supercalifragilisticexpialidocious” ten times faster than Eminem.
2 Likes
Excessive training has allowed me to utilize my tongue in a manner so that i may speak large and nonsensical words at a rate superior in speed to a famous musician known for his lyrical prowess.
I know Franz Schubert’s “Die Forelle” song off by heart
I have had nothing better to do for six hours.
I know how to do a backflip.
2 Likes
I know how to do a backflip
I keep potted plants
2 Likes
I preserve the life of one of trillion different living organisms that feed through autotrophic nutrition, and sustain them each day, no matter the cost.
I play dead by daylight.
2 Likes
I appear to be among the dead once the sun has risen. However, by evening I have become capable of doing work.
I’m not dumb.
1 Like
I am not of lower intelligence. Some have even complimented me on my exceedingly average intelligence.
I stubbed my toe while watering my spice garden and I only cried for 20 minutes.
4 Likes
Whilst cultivating a magnificent collection of several different plants, I severely injured my largest toe. Although such a pain is tremendous, I only excreted liquid from my oculos for less than 1/87600 of a decade.
I make model trains.
4 Likes
I have a high appreciation for engineering. Mankind’s affinity for technological innovation has inspired to build and maintain miniature copies of historical trains and locomotives, so that I may study these marvelous machines and their roles within society from the confines of my bedroom.
I can’t snap my fingers
5 Likes
I believe it was Gandhi who once said, “It doesn’t matter who you are or what you have, but what you do with it”
This quote embodies my philosophy for life almost perfectly. Due to extremely unfortunate circumstances, I possess the inability to quickly press my midmost finger against another part of my hand. Whilst this disability has caused much strain on my life, in the 6 years I have been on this earth, I have managed to overcome it.
I tripped down a flight of stairs once.
7 Likes
I found a fight of stairs to be inefficient for descent and have discovered a more efficient form of traversing them which defies the typical understanding of stair descent. Let’s just say it puts the ‘flight’ in flight of stairs.
I grew up in a world devoid of fortnite
8 Likes
I somehow found myself in a paradise of which no one ever was addicted to a money grubbing program.
I invented the greatest game ever.
4 Likes
I invented Fortnite SUPAH MARIO BROTHAS TWOOO
I ate a cookie
6 Likes
Whilst utilizing my glorious visage to consume a pastry containing high levels of simple carbohydrates, I managed to push the now unrecognizable delicacy through my esophagus and the rest of my digestive system until it exited my body as feces.
I listen to bad music
3 Likes