Okotan Adventures: The Dark (Signups)

[Winger]

I just want to make sure there’s clarification - when I mentioned “window” I meant an opportunity in which he could hit Makuta without hitting the other Okotans. I’m fine with how it turned out, however, so no need to modify.

[Ghid]

POV you’re ghid and you failed to read

[MakutaOisli]

Ok i fixed it.

[Ghid]

@MakutaOisli

A hand crafted freeze pistol handed down from his great-grandfather

How does this operate?

@MakutaOisli

an ice spear

How does this operate?

[MakutaOisli]

So the freeze pistol just shoots bolts of freezing cold.Potienaly harming someone.
It might freeze them,but that your choice.
The ice spear is a spear that radiates cold.The cold wont freeze someone,itll just lower their body temperture a bit.

[Ghid]

@MakutaOisli

So the freeze pistol just shoots shards of ice.

That’s a no-go.

@MakutaOisli

The ice spear is a spear that radiates cold.

So it just cools things? That seems a bit convenient seeing as there’s already a sword that heats things up and cools things down:

@Rukah

The sword can heat things up or remove heat from objects. It takes a few seconds to heat things up or cool them down.

[MakutaOisli]

Oh.Well i dont know its hard to come up with this stuff.Wait.How bout this:a freeze crossbow or a saw shield.

[MakutaOisli]

Please.I just want to roleplay with something unique.Im not trying to break the game.Please.

[Rukah]

You should probably read the whole topic.

[MakutaOisli]

I thought i did.

[Rukah]

well then what problems are you having?

[MakutaOisli]

I dont know.I feel like the character isn’t… y’know.Good enough

[MakutaOisli]

Im trying

[TheMOCingbird]

I’d say try to focus less on making Eden’s equipment and powers unique, and more on Eden’s personality and potential character arch. How will Eden be personally challenged on this adventure, and how could he grow? A flawed and multifaceted character is a lot more interesting than a flat character with the powers of all six toa and a planet destroying broadsword.

[MakutaOisli]

Yes.What do you suggest?

[TheMOCingbird]

I’d start by asking the question, why is Eden going on this adventure? You said he was just some mediocre sculptor, so what reason does he have to rise above his peers and set out in to the Dark? Is it out of some loyalty to Ekimu, is he looking to prove something, maybe overcome some fears, or is he just in it for the glory? Maybe try answering that, and see what it tells you about his character.

[MakutaOisli]

He wants to get away from the village.The name-calling,the past failures,its all too much for him.He just wants to get away from it all.Also @Ghid,i think this is better.

[Ghid]

@MakutaOisli

Has the okotan equiv. of high functioning autism.

Yeah no.

For the time being, Eden is Not Approved. I would try my hand at a simpler RP before jumping into this one if I were you.

[MakutaOisli]

INTERNAL CRYING AND SCREAMING fine.

[N01InParticular]

Might I suggest reading this topic real quick?
There’s a real nifty section on character creation and i think it might help out quite a bit.

Official RPG How-To Topic: Writing, GMing, and More (or Less)

And the next post is up! We begin The Next Level with To Fill A Paper, which I hope will be the final word on the topic of good writing. Direct any and all complaints to me so I can get laughed at for my grammar errors Also feel free to directly reference or quote any of the topics here in your own RPs - or if there’s a glaring issue, let me know and I’ll pretend it doesn’t exist for three days before finally admitting it does and sulkily changing it.