I would never forget something so important 
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“Buncha terrible murderers, those Gorovs are. I’ll kill every last one of them. Say Dolphus, kid, mind getting me one of my wacky drinks?”
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firstly
A man of taste, I see
secondly
The entire character is literally just the image of the Fata Morgana and the name is Fata and why is there so little effort here
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Gimme a sec…
Wait-You like phantomarine?
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Pavel is best character
I would suggest a fresh concept. Make something wholly unique instead of piggybacking off of an existing idea to the point that it’s just the idea and nothing else.
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FINE. THERE GOES ANOTHER ONE.
Name: Mako
Personality: Blunt,sarcastic,annoying.
Underneath is incredibly anxious and means well.
Tries to work hard. As much as his blunt nature is the main factor that plays into first and second impressions, he tries hard to not disappoint,but any who alienate him will earn his enmity,and he is a person who holds grudges.
Weaponry: A whip made with jellyfish stingers interwoven in.
Custom made fishing rod with multiple contraptions to allow it to carry a bigger load.
Appearance: Incredibly Pale skin,due to him not usually taking off his armor and mask.
Armor: Pure efficiency over formality, Makos patchwork armor has sections of metal and leather,along with feathers and bandages. He wears a white cloth over his head.
Abilities: Partial water magic not the same as before
The people at his home knew water magic, and employed it into their daily lives.
Ship Job: Incredibly Good hunter and fisherman.
Backstory: Mako was a prodigy at hunting and fishing,
His skills unwasted, helping supply his village. But after a near death experience with a jellyfish, his mind took a turn for the worst. He fell into a state of self-loathing and denial,and it affected those around him. Still, he tried to put on a mask of contentment and joy, but there were cracks,and the mask finally broke when Mako discovered that one of the leaders was illegally trading with two others. The three were found dead,washed onto the beach,their swollen bodies littered with jellyfish stings and swarmed with flies.
It was a hard secret to keep,and when it was finally found out, Mako was thrown from the village. He just wants to forget what he did… but its easy to remember your sins.
4 Likes
No need to get uppity about it. Plus, it seems like your second shot is significantly better:
It’ll definitely be interesting to have Mako around if he gets approved wait a second where is his cane
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He doesn’t need one
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and these people, they don’t happen to enjoy playing in the sun in what appears to be Red armour do they?
Looks good, but I’ll message ya about the water magic thing, it could be important to the plot 
Oh nvm character ruined he’s denied /s
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Wait seriously
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No, /s means a joke, it’s all fine lol
3 Likes
Alright then.
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not done yet, I’ve not had time to continue editing. I’ll do my best to get it done but I’ll be out of town wednesday to saturday
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Well if you ever need any feedback from your old man you know the number for the front desk at the retirement home
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Best break out sharpish, with 4 characters signed up, we’re fixing to start soon
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Gotcha, I’ll get it done.
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What date?
I may not be available.
I was hoping we could get at least one more person before we start but it’s not exactly been very active in this signup
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Idk a date yet, I’m just putting it in gear to start.
Also,i made an adaptation of makos backstory. Just wanted to make something that goes more in-depth.
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