I’m hungry
I should eat some pizza goldfish
3 Likes
Imagine eating goldfish that you’ve feed pizza so that it will taste like pizza
4 Likes
–
Chapter 10
–
I want to punch Frank Sinatra for this.
The skies above were still black and impenetrable in spite of the ascending height, and Diero was laughing or something, but the roar was so violent and so loud that I could not discern anything he may have been spewing. He could also have just had his mouth open. With his head shaped the way it was, I did not always know for certain what his emotion was.
Well you can bet your breakfast that my emotion was a desire to kick him in the teeth for allowing this to happen. I could practically hear them shattering in my mind; such a satisfying, visceral sound as the shards flew every which way. Was I so livid and rancorous because I was on a missile climbing towards the stars? Hardly so.
I just knew it was a long way down.
Slightly elating, however, was the rocket suddenly breaking through the clouds, instilling a silence which cut above the roar of the engines, which… I still do not know how to describe it. It was louder than anything in the moment, but lacked any sound whatsoever. It was a stillness and a silence which could be felt, a wordless wonder boldly harmonizing its wonder, a noiseless thunder trapped above the clouds, only heard by those who cross that veil. One day in the future I wish to re-experience that splendor, of rushing towards the unforgiving sky and breaking through to the majesty of the night.
Every star gleamed downwards, every celestial body looked me in the eye, and spoke unwritten words of castigating abasement to my pride and ego. Who was I, in that moment or any other, to bear the honor of looking at the stars, and take it so for granted? I am a speck in the universe, and the universe bends its will to my own for no reason other than my comfort.
Sorry, I should stop talking about my musings. When I think of certain things for too long I morph into a renaissance philosopher, only slightly less dead. Of course, I can’t expect to hold on to life if I keep throwing myself into situations like this one.
Looking back down at the rocket, I was dragged kicking and screaming back to reality as I read the words AGM-131 SRAM II emblazoned on the side of the device. This was a nuclear air-to-surface missile which had somehow been launched from ground level despite its purpose being in-air launch, and therefore could not contain enough fuel for a proper trajectory.
The very second I thought of that factor, the flame suddenly died. Oh, what a lovely day it is today.
I felt a shift in weight, and Diero’s head rushed past me as he buckled his chin into his stomach. Then he whipped his heel downwards with enough force to cut the side of the rocket open. The silvery warhead gleamed from the light of the stars, tumbling out of the missile with ease. We- Urgh, HE and MYSELF and the ROCKET and the WARHEAD were all still traveling at about the same speed, so him finding the time to wrap one arm around the warhead as best he could was not an issue.
Going down was.
At a certain point we lost inertia while the rocket kept going, tilting enough to assuredly land quite a distance away from out shattered remains. As we began to fall I felt that horrible creeping sensation again, and I wrapped my limbs around Diero’s torso, much against my will. Seeing this, he laughed heartily, and I was too concerned to crush his throat in for it. It was very cold up there, but his body managed to be colder still, utterly inhuman and alien to feel. No warmth, no moving skin, no sign of life, yet vibrating with mocking laughter and poking me in the face with his now freed hand.
After I silently endured the untold terror of falling for a few seconds, the clouds below gave way to my frightened form, and I found myself in the dark and gloomy world I had left behind so easily. The tip of the tower suddenly appeared in my vision, and we were right on course to fall past it when - and please assume the fullest of disappointment on my part - an explosion of Diero cousins burst from the ruined glass ceiling, tossing both R and Jethryn into the air.
Diero angled his body back, grabbing the top of his hat as he slowed ever so slightly and allowed his compatriots to catch up. The Diero cousins were catching up, too, so before long it was a blaze of glory, guns going off mid-flight and Diero cousin bodies flying lazily through the air towards the ground far, far below.
“YOU SHOULD JOIN US MORE OFTEN!” Jethryn shouted over the wind. “THE AMOUNT OF TIMES THAT THE BOSS JUMPS OFF OF TALL THINGS IS INCREDIBLE. HE’S REALLY A FAN OF HIGH FALLS!”
“SHUT UP!” Chromeboy shouted back. I hadn’t noticed before, but he was visibly uncomfortable as he swatted away the Diero clones. “I"M NOT A HIGH FALLS FAN!”
“FOR SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T LIKE HIGH FALLS, YOU REALLY LOVE-”
I had seen it coming. A large beam, jutting out of the tower, one of many which had once been the frame of the structure. I had seen it rising up from beneath these falling flunkees, knowing who it would impact if they all remained still. And I deliberately said nothing.
No, I’m not sorry. These morons threw me off of an impossibly tall tower twice in under an hour, even though I expressly communicated I really hated falling.
The beam hit Jethryn and ripped him in half, with the sickening reverberation of steel echoing through the hollow building, as both his body segments spun violently. Diero seemed mildly concerned, and chromeboy didn’t seem concerned at all, but instead hollered “THAT WAS CLOSE, JETHRYN! GROUND’S COMING UP SOON; LET’S GET A MOVE ON!”
“FINE, FINE!” Jethryn’s upper half noised. “DREAM: HAWKFLIGHT!”
There was a brilliant flash of light, and his, um… What I assumed was his butt now had a pair of massive feathered wings comprised of white flames. This lower half moved about in freefall from person to person, collecting the party, with Diero being the last to grab on. Then it spread the wings, slowing the fall slightly, before diving and swooping horizontally, away from the ground, and what seemed to me like inches away from impact.
The next moment, there was the repeated thudding of a countless amount of Diero clones slamming into the ground behind us- ME. Me and the freakshow; we are NOT US. No wait we’re not We either, why did I say that? If I keep considering my potential union with this noisome coterie I’ll have to commit seppuku, but I don’t have any giant crabs handy.
That’s called a joke. You’re supposed to laugh at it.
What do you mean you don’t get it?
The party came to a casual stop with me in tow, still frozen to Diero’s ribcage if he had one. I took a good look at Jethryn and his two pieces, starting somewhat when I saw a head emerging from his lower half’s inside. It was a skull, rock-like in appearance, much like Diero’s, but considerably larger and longer with a drawn chin and tiny eyes. Whereas Diero appeared as a very angular, comical distortion of the typical human skeleton, this one was positively inhuman in its exaggeration. It looked about with a quiet hiss, extending a bony neck from the cradle of its shoulders, seemingly unsure what to do next while being incredibly threatening.
“All right, off.” Diero broke in upon my thoughts rather sternly. “I get that you’re a wimp, but you make for a horrible duffel bag.”
I pried myself free of his side, and stepped to the ground… And instantly collapsed. That was strange. I tried to stand up, and managed to get on one foot, when I noticed my hands, my feet, my entire body was shaking violently. I focused on calming myself, but nothing even partially worked. It was so bad the dust under my foot and knee was being kicked up by my trembling.
“You all right, Cordax?” Jethryn’s upper half shot a sidelong glance at me, his lower half simply looking at him with the same I’m-going-to-kill-you-and-rip-out-your-intestines look he gave everything. I doubt he had any sort of facial capability outside of that serial killer stare. “You look rough.”
“No, I’m fine,” I replied even as my body went scrambling into the dust in front of me. “Um. I’m… Help me up.”
Diero grabbed me by the collar with a look of antipathy, but it changed to one of stupefaction when he felt my entire frame shaking about like a… I can’t think of an example. Like a thing that shakes a lot.
“I’m perfectly fine,” I said as I weakly raised my hands in protest, revealing that I very much wasn’t. “I really am, I…”
I looked down at the ground. I was perhaps three inches from it. I was terrified for my life. My vibrating limbs snapped upward, trying desperately to find a hold on Diero’s arm while my head refused to break away from that distant, distant ground. Diero dropped me out of protest, sending me back to the earth below in a sprawling frenzy of dust.
“Are you… Alright?” Chromeboy said, slowly approaching and looking cautiously down at me. I tried to respond, but only a choke came out. I was hoping to call him an anodize airhead again. I looked up as best I could, trying to glare at him, but my head trembled too much to do anything.
I couldn’t voluntarily move. I don’t know if it qualified as a true panic attack, but my body felt frozen in a constricted state, pulling the joints in and out, my neck sucking in and tightening, my fingers tensing and locking. I was immobile.
I really didn’t like falling.
–
9 Likes
Imagine not eating pizza goldfish
5 Likes
I’ve always thought this would be fun.
3 Likes
he’s BEEG again, and about time too
Imagine eating pizza
It wouldn’t be so bad if it only happened once but since it loops it’s continuous
I’d do it my way
4 Likes
ok I guess Jethryn is hawkflight
Bruh
2 Likes
oh duh
I knew that
You’ll have to take that up with your parents
too much lore
it would take too long
Dangit I already made the most recent post on the quotes topic.
1 Like
Jeez, we’re on chapter ten already, but the story hasn’t nearly reached its climax yet… that’s gonna be long.
Yep. Imagine simply going Your Way just to get kidnapped by some Strangers in the Night, who then Get Themselves Under Your Skin, do Somethin’ Stupid and Fly You to the Moon on a nuclear missile… That’s Life…
Almost like nobody theorised about that over two weeks ago (me) and no akaku-wearing gentleman confirmed that theory under two weeks ago (Ghid)
*happy mad scientist noises
Remember when I theorised about Jethryn being six cats or Cordax holding Good Guy?
I actually was onto something!
That makes this Jethryn character even more confusing: the lower half is probably a user, the upper half is also a user, but this character as a whole is Hawkflight.
That’s cheating, Ghid, you can’t make a character out of three users! It hurts my head…
Anyways, I just noticed something: a certain rectangle-shaped vahki (or was it a vahki-shaped rectangle?) seems to be completely absent from the current events, even though chromeboy took him to the tower, and the poor lad doesn’t even have legs to walk away, so I wonder: was that intentional or did you just forget about his existence?
6 Likes
[sad rukah noises]
1 Like
My Kind Of Town.
If only I could also reference Full Moon and Empty Arms but Diero’s arms had a nuclear warhead. Speaking of, Diero, you’re holding a nuclear warhead dude, might wanna be more careful.
It Had To Be You.
Okay, I won’t. But I’m Not Afraid to.
Dear me, where could he be? I have High Hopes we’ll see him again, though.
The, uh… The Best Is Yet To Come.
2 Likes
I eat it.
2 Likes
vore
The power of the sun, in the palm of my hand
6 Likes
–
Chapter 11
–
Goodness, it felt like an hour.
An hour of these completely hopeless idiots staring down at me, unable to share their collective IQ of 5 with each other long enough to realize how horrible this was, or to realize how lucky they were that I couldn’t tear their throats out.
However, a counting of seconds told me it was only three minutes. Three minutes of psychological agony at the hand of the dense and droll of the macrocosm. This had to be a refinement of fools; a thorough selection of the weakest minds on the planet, specifically chosen by an unseen hand to cause me great discomfort by their presence. Oh, how I wish I could close my eyes.
Finally, at either the end of my suffering or the beginning of a new form of torture, Diero chose to kneel down and inspect my state of contraction. I was shivering most violently, and it rattled his thin frame simply to feel mine. His eyes lacked the concern displayed moments ago, which felt very odd - then it had been fully legitimate, but now that my plight had significantly worsened, it disappeared entirely. Was there something else going on?
“He’s worthless in this state.” The callous cattleman complained. Gee, what a polite choice of words! I’ll remember them at his funeral. “Jethryn, give me the box robot and I might be able to beat some sense into him with it.”
Jethryn looked from Diero to R and back again. His lower half, which he now clung to, did the same, the seething skull showing no emotion other than whatever kind of twisted enjoyment the shape of its head seemed to adore. He clearly did not have the weighted box which had crushed my legs before.
“It must still be with the bike.” R responded, looking back towards the tower. The moment he did so, Diero grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him down on top of me like a complete jerk to the both of- I MEAN TO ME AND ALSO TO HIM. There is no ‘WE’ in this, is that clear? None at all.
Two shots rang out right above my head. I could barely see past the giant pile of moron- I’m sorry, he has a name, doesn’t he? One letter of the alphabet, the letter R, pronounced as if you are clenching your teeth and seething with rage at the idea of being crushed under a moron of that magnitude. Unless there’s a different pronunciation in his native tongue of brainless buffoon?
Anyways, despite his best efforts to smother me, I could see something large and ominous approaching at high speed. It was the bike thing we had driven over here, only now piloted by that multi-armed thing with seething red eyes. Somehow it was lighter out now despite it being night, and it was very easy to discern this thing had a yellow, gelatinous core, like some kind of sea creature, its mouth tucked under its form, its body veiny and wrinkled as if the mass of it were one giant brain. Just looking at whatever it was made me want to strike up a conversation about the geopolitical aspects of Ghid’s policies just to refresh my mind from the pits of stupidity I was so frequently subjected to by my adoring peers who are still crushing me.
Finally R decided he had enough of using me as a mattress and rose back to his feet, allowing me to see again. The vehicle tore towards us at high speed, but it only seemed to get faster, as if this multi-limbed monster was attempting to ram the party. Most everyone dove out of the way, Diero backpedaling while firing both guns at the creature, but as it drove by it reached down and plucked me up with one of its eight arms.
I was rapidly losing my appeal for conversation with this thing.
Still, if an effort could be made, it would be a waste to have given up without confirming there would be no use. The creature hoisted me into the air and glared at me, its solid red eyes speaking only hatred and malice. My eyes caught sight of the approaching wide brim of my bullheaded bodyguard.
“Look,” I began as my incredibly shaky hand fumbled about in my pocket, eventually receiving a cigarette in return for my effort. “I don’t like to ask favors of friends of recent acquaintances… But, do you have a light?”
There was an uneasy rocking motion from the bizarre vehicle, and I saw that instead of doing something cool, like blowing the thing’s arm off or pumping it full of lead, Diero had hopped on the back and was not doing anything outside of maintaining balance. What an absolute stooge this cowboy was.
The creature turned the handle hard, and the vehicle rocketed off to the side, throwing Diero clean off. However, his spur caught on the mechanism of the rotating seat, and I saw his hat fly off from the impact, barely holding in between his forefinger and middle finger as he snapped at it to keep it from sailing away. The impenetrable darkness remained in front of us, and we were fast approaching it.
As we tore through the gloom I saw what had been the cause for the suddening brightening: ‘Day’ had broke in that little town, a massive water tower which had been repurposed into a garbage artificial sun, with a gigantic amount of led lights plastered across it. We were nearing the small singular road which marked the town, and as we began to approach, Diero suddenly bellowed, blue flames shooting out of his eyes and lighting up the air I had no idea why at the time, but I was mostly concerned with this slightly gelatinous creature and its many arms carrying me around like a sock monkey and threatening to beat me against the trees we were passing.
However, noticing the disgusting yellow fishy form of this cretin gave me an idea, which I probably should have reconsidered at the time. “Light me up!” I shouted, although rather feebly, as I was getting pretty winded from all the shaking I was still doing. Swinging my vibrating arm upwards, I held the cigarette aloft and heard the crack of ignited gunpowder. Bringing it back down, I stuck the now smoldering end directly onto the skin of whatever this was.
Ohh, that was a bad decision when the inhabitant of that skin was operating a moving vehicle. He spun out rapidly, tossing me in a frenzy and sending Diero flying off. I landed on a les than comfortable surface, that of Diero’s chest, as he had slid in his spin to intercept my fall. I stood, a difficult task, but I had to get to the cigarette; why waste a perfectly good cigarette?
The yellow eight-armed cretin had also been thrown from the vehicle, which had flown into some poor sap’s house and crushed the front in. He stood, menacingly, at the end of the street, while Diero righted himself and looked in utter revulsion at the now completely destroyed spur on the heel of his boot. Both fiends locked eyes, furious at the other, while I sucked on my cancer stick in silence.
Suddenly the figure unloaded two shots simultaneously, one deflecting off Diero’s temple and the other striking me in the shoulder. Diero looked at me with shock before turning back to the bizarre creature, which had somehow vanished without a trace. I was now lying on the ground, knocked over instantly by the bullet, and Diero stood over me, eyes running up and down before he found the bullet hole and dove his hand towards it, freezing two inches from making contact.
The street was full of people. Tall, small, all shorter than Diero, and all masked with Ghid’s unmistakable visage. Diero slowly grabbed me by the front of the collar - so nice of him to have variety - and dragged me backwards in through a door, sticking his thumb through the open doorknob hole to close it.
…Hey, this is the house I left initially. Come to think of it, I don’t remember how I first got here.
I also definitely didn’t remember those idiots chromeboy R and halfwit Jethro having gotten here in the meantime either. Regardless, here they were, and chromeboy was about two seconds from punching a kid. How gentlemanly.
The kid broke away in that moment, retreating to the shadow of the room despite his big yellow head making it obvious he was there. As I righted myself and glared at Diero he did a double take, looking me over sharply and ending in a sidelong glance of suspicion, his head cocked back.
“Tott?”
–
7 Likes