You included
Its just a really crazy story you made @Ghid
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Well, if you read all books in order (Book of Ramblings, Book of Logic, Book of Dreams, Book of Tears) and didn’t start with the fourth one, you would realise that they do indeed have a plot and it does make some sense
I definitely don’t say this just to trick more people into reading these, no no no
That’s what I’ve been waiting for! That’s what it’s all about!
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notahffan where is your dunking on the last two chapters i wanna write the next one
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Chapter XIII:
“Who’s That Guy?”
The speaker was a lanky, red creature with large, metallic wings. Her companion, a guy wearing what appeared to be Halo armor over a desert camouflage military outfit ignored the question, instead firing a pistol at the orange sphere. The bullet had absolutely no effect, passing straight through and splattering molten steel on the side of a nearby dumpster.
“Well, it was worth a shot,” tan guy said. Suddenly, a bony fist was clutching his throat, crushing with all of its significant strength.
“Who the — are you?!”
“Names Diero. And you’re one of those dratted Ghid clones!”
Suddenly, his assailant was ripped off of him, and pinned against a wall. A copy of tan guy was holding the deadsperado by the back of his spine, which effectively prevented him from moving.
“Don’t you think about hurting me,” the clone said. “I’d have you surrounded in an instant.”
As he spoke, he saw several other people standing around. Multiple civilians, fleeing the burning tower, police troopers holding various dangerous weapons, a crew of strangers leaving the remains of an antiquated pirate ship, and a short guy in a purple sweater brandishing a knife.
“Nice place, cowboy. You might even think it was a reception for all of us.”
Diero laughed.
“Kid, you don’t know how right you are… even though you just did the stupidest thing—“
He fell to the ground as the clone vanished, to be replaced by an army of tan armored warriors.
“I said, don’t move!!”
The voice came from all around him, as the hundreds of clones spoke in unison.
As he stared, there was a rumble. The remains of the tower were shifting, breaking…
“It’s coming down!! Run!!”
My @Cordax style post.
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who the heck are these wacky OCs
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These:
Doritos, the Transdimensional Bat
And
The official @DuneToa Self-MOC!
This is officially non-canon and should be treated like the Cordax chapters above.
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not ai generated
sicily wasn’t destroyed
no melissa burgerwoman
cringe 
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Well, you know what they say: “Don’t follow the crowd, go around, and please, try not to drown.”
But seriously, I can’t make an AI chapter.
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At first I misread this as “drunken”… seems about right
So,
I don’t really have much to say about this one, as it felt remarkably short.
I was wondering if Winger has any cybernetic enhancements or is me fully human? He survived getting impaled with an enormous piece of wood, which is quite a miraculous feat for an ordinary human.
But things don’t look good for him currently.
Oh, looks like he will get some medical help
Well, maybe he won’t. RIP Wonger
I like that we’re finally seeing Racie’s character! It’s nice to see her reaction to the things that had happened to her and the stuff that’s currently going on, since she’s the most normal person in the entire cast. It makes perfect sense for her to react to all this craziness in such a manner. Any sane person would break down like this in this situation.
Now she can finally be classified as a character… a useless one, but still, it’s an improvement
That has to be something relevant to the plot. If it weren’t, you wouldn’t have put such an emphasis on it.
“That horrible-” what? It has to be something mechanical, I assume. It’s not something from BoD because that had happened a day before BoT. Too quick for this person to get his hands on something from it and install it into his body. It’s not from BoL because it’s not exactly real, and it’s most likely not from BoR. I have no clue… I need more hints, Ghid!
Oh, right, you killed him. Sounds quite tasty, actually. Roast beef. Mmmmmmmm. Yummy.
Now this is interesting. Diero’s fleshback hand me that lifetime comedy award immediately
Him and this Ghid with pistols from chapter 2 seem to have a connection. The Ghid wants Diero dead for some reason.
It’s quite an exciting revelation that Diero used to be very much alive. Were all Dreamers alive at some point? Now I’m starting to question what Dreamers are exactly. I always assumed that they were sort of like golems, created artificially.
So, you need extraordinary heat, a special kind of metal and a human body to create a Dreamer, right? It raises so many questions…
This description is rather unusual. Sunken eyes, weird placement of the two extra eyes, veins… this is not the classic Ghid design.
Maybe it’s this Ghid by yours truly?
The description of the face is quite fitting
What’s this? Welsh or something?
Reading this felt very much like a fever dream.
How can you enjoy a fine anything at Burger King? That’s impossible. I think this is a factual error
Shakespearian level of writing right here. 10/10
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I just remembered that the moon sand quote from BoR has yet to be explained
it’s been two years we need answers
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winger is definitely not you
he didn’t get impaled bruh did I really write it that badly
Here’s one.
El Cadáver Tonto.
I hate you
here’s your stupid lifetime comedy award grumble grumble
ymean the thing that made n01p go on a 2008 rampage about being the master of the moon sand and officially adding it to his bio even though he was dead in BoR
how many people’s bios have I influenced on the boards golly gosh goodness
well uh
what specifically needs an answer
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2008 rampage is the correct word for that
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you may have already said this and I didn’t pick it up but
- why he was in the factory
- why he was angry at cordax
- why cordax was so scared
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_
Chapter 6
_
“Wake the heck up, samurai. We have a ghid to crawl into.”
It was a cold, windy day in Florida. The city streets were filled with nothing but utter silence. Mr Thomas Morrow was sitting at an outdoors cafe table, slowly sipping coffee from a large cup. The drink was horrible: tasting nothing like the actual caffeine-filled brew, it was more akin to liquid, lukewarm mud, but mr Morrow was too preoccupied with dark thoughts to notice that. “You can never get rest as a Grandmaster of Cringe…” he thought. “This job is going to drive me crazy! If I don’t find a way out of this situation, I’ll have to-”
His pessimistic train of thought was rudely interrupted because a man nonchalantly took a seat in front of him. Mr Morrow immediately recognised the man as none other than mr Cordax. It wasn’t all that hard, considering that Cordax had an exceptionally bizarre appearance. His skin was of a sickly yellowish colour and he wore a black fedora, which didn’t go well at all with his purple hoodie, but his most distinctive feature was his height: Cordax was no taller than a child. Sitting down, his head was barely visible above the table. Mr Cordax tipped his ridiculous hat:
“Hi, Tomorrow!”
“It’s “mister Morrow”, Thomas growled with frustration. “Is it really so hard to remember!?”
“Sorry loser uh I mean boss.” the tiny man murmured reluctantly. “I’ve got bad news: the impostor… the impostor is sus. Mc’Gick will be here soon to take us out.”
“I knew it… the amogus is real indeed.” mr Morrow’s voice trembled as he let out a sign. A horrifying realisation came to him: the meme grew like a tumour, made its way into their brains like a parasitic worm, infected them like a disease with no cure… they were doomed, mr Mc’Gick sensed the cringe and was on his way to cause violence.
Seeing his boss on the brink of breaking down in tears, Cordax tried to break the awkward silence instead:
“Have you ever heard the tragic story of Melissa Burgerwoman? Julie told it to me what I was-”
“Hwat in the world does it have to do with-” But mr Morrow was interrupted as well, because all of a sudden No One appeared out of No Where and spoke thus words:
“morbius truly has to be one of the films released in 2022 so far. jared leto did a job playing morbius and the action was in the film . the film has storytelling and the cgi was animated. the side characters were along with morbius and the villain was a bad guy. the jokes were sentences. this film really is one of the films . of all time, if not the last decade.”
Even more suddenly a tall figure appeared. It opened its two eyes and then it opened its two extra right eyes right on the right of the right eye that had been opened a few moments prior. It was mr Mc’Gick himself, the Not-So-High Emperor. He grabbed Morrow and Cordax by their collars, but he didn’t grab No One because he was nobody and spoke:
“You just posted cringe on main. And ghids are cruel, jack.”
Mc’Gick’s jaw unhinged as he forced the two into the darkness…
“Memes. The DNA of the soul”
— Monsoon, Metal Gear Rising: Revengeance
_
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it’s theorizin’ time
oh no
cordax has become a redditor
find the sus within ourselves
no need for a cure
time to decode the secret message hidden in the bold characters!
truly one of the writers of all time.
GUYS ITS HIM HES REAL HE FINALLY SHOWED UP
“no one in particular”
I CANT BELIEVE IT :0000000000 
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No you foolish fool you goofy goober you got the message of the entire chapter completely wrong. Read it again
I can neither confirm nor deny allegations that yes
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Chap. X21:
“Hey, yo, I got some good stuff for you guys!”
Cordax was jabbering again. The top-hatted guy beside him hooked his neck with his staff, and dragged him over to the store counter.
“He’d like $897.33 worth of Schär gluten-free rolls,” he said, producing a large check. The guy behind the counter grunted, and dropped a large crate over the counter, flattening Cordax. Zork laughed, then choked. The man had drawn a pencil, and was erasing the wall slowly. As he did, the meaning of the words changed, until they resembled dggdtsdgdgdhchxfxxvxvkjxgzysjdhzfy.
“Huh?”
Zork said, as the crowd cheered and sang the national anthem of Volume. A red glow filled the sky as the cider factory detonated into a ball of plasma, which was immediately consumed by Sonus.
“I just want to thank everyone for their patience and support in this difficult situation,” Ghid said throughout the night. “We have been very grateful to everyone involved and we are looking for a new home for our son Winger in this city. If you have any suggestions, please contact us at 555-321-7890. I’m here to help in anyway I can!”
Mike Rophone laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more. It was stupid. It was meaningless. It was… perfect.
This is more utter foolishness that should not be taken seriously. Ignore it.
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No, anything but an other m reference!
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even the zork characters are being siphoned into the Bo_____ universe
incredible
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